I am an Avid reader of Nairaland and i have never bothered to comment but to enjoy the comments and advices of others i relationship matters but i think i now need your assistance before i lose the plot.

I have been dating this guy for a while now and honestly speaking without exaggerating too much, he is the most perfect man to me. He is tall, dark, handsome, hardworking and very kind to a fault. He helps people at will and takes no offence whatso ever at my excesses except i over do it to a fault and instead of getting mad at me to hit me or abuse me, he just walks away for an hour or 2 and comes back as if nothing happens. The only snag i have with him is that he is an atheist and doesnt believe in God whatso ever. I am a very strong Christian and i didnt take it as anything at first when he was trying to date me. I saw it as a juvenile boy's thing and maybe misguided and my purpose was to date him to make him change his ways and believe in God, but instead he has kept steadfast to his belief of not believing in God and hating anything about religion but apart from that, he is everything a girl could want in a man or more.

Since i have known him, he doesnt smoke or drink or party, move around with unserious or bad friends. He has never cheated on me and promised to never do so because its not his nature. He hasn't hit me before and also swore the day that he hits me mistakenly i should stab him and dump him there and then because he doesnt appreciate Men who beat women. He takes care of me and sometimes even cook for me when ever i come to his place. He even paid close to N300,000 for my hospital bills when i had a surgery and he stayed with me most of the time. I know he truely and genuinely loves me but this issue of his religion and atheism is my only problem with him. He has even driven me to church on so many occassions when it rains or when am going for Night Virgil but he never comes down or attends it and he sometimes comes back to pick me up when i am done.

He blatantly refuses to change. My pastor dislikes him so much and sees him as a bad influence to me because he says anybody that is not of the spirit and with the spirit of God is a temptation to be cut loose. My Mom doesnt even want to hear anything about him until he renounces his atheism but she hasnt complained about him concerning anything else. My Dad has warned me not to bring a devil to his house hold and sees him as a Devil's incarnate and spritually unclean. He even promised to disown me if i ever call him my financee talkless of bringing home as a potential husband. Most of my female friends drool over him and tell me how lucky i am to meet such a good man while others warn me that he is demonic and i should stay away from him because he doesnt believe in God.

The thing is that he is very brilliant and intelligent and when you hear him speak sometimes he could be so mesmerizing when denouncing religion and the bible or Koran as mere propagandas and fictional works. There was even a day some people in my fellowship came to meet him to pray and convert him and it turned into a debate and he ended up winning the argument and making us question or faith back in a total reversal of roles. He is very unsparing and merciless when it comes to things of God, Bible or religion and makes no apologises for it. Apart from that, he is a total kitty cat. Calm, collected, mature, responsible and humble. 2 days ago he jokingly made a feeble attempt to propose to me but added a clause that we would only do a registry marriage and not church wedding because he cant stand the site of the hypocrisy of christianity and the church but he would go out of his way to make sure i have a memorable wedding @ the registry and reception. He tells me that prayers dont work and only daft and lazy people believe in prayers. He says you don't have to be a christian to be kind, compassionate and honest and to help people. He says its human nature and the society that dictates how we think and act and he chooses to be someone that is kind and honest to people and not attribute it to one God or Church. Anytime i come back from Church and talk about my pastor or what i was taught, he gets very angry. He doesnt like hearing anything about pastors, churches, tithes and sermons but when you get into a biblical argument with him, its as if he knows the bible inside out and the right quotes without even reading it. He is that articulate.

For the past 2 days i have been in a dilema now. He wants to marry me i believe and i love him seriously to bits. I have dated other so called born again or spiritually filled guys in my past that messed me up so badly and i know alot of men use this as a bait to catch women and end up showing their true colors later on. My boyfriend is not disguising who he is in terms of his spirituality but he is offering me this unconditional love which i have seen and no man has given me despite their promises. My only fear is that my parents will see me as an out cast, my friends dont like him for it, my pastor and church members loathe him for being an athiest and dislike more everyday i am with him. If i go ahead with my choice to stick with him, i lose my soul and my community but gain happiness because he has truely being a wonderful man so far but if i leave him for my friends, family and community i might lose my prince charming that every woman dreams of that loves me dearly.

I am really confused and i have to make a decision quickly. Please help advise me. Please no nasty comments too i beg you. Hope we can be civil with this.

P:S: I will be 30 in September.

At least you are sincere, though I think i is your ignorance that brings this quality in you. ouare honest enough to indicate your primary reason for giving in. Then you are inicating to me that you and he live together. So am going to take it nd be blunt that sex is actully involved in all of this.

These two are part of the hallmark body of Christiaity; why cant you people be sincere with yourselvs that you fornicate and have usually a lying spirit when you are trying to gain soul for Jesus? Darn dishonest jihadists.

And 30 is not soo young either, lady. A mere looking at the opposite sex, believed by Christians is in itsef fornicaton, and if you are married adultery. Lady, now marry him and work towards both of you becoming Muslims. At least in Islam, if you looked at an opposite sex just the first time, it is not sinful. You commit sin f fornication or adultery depending on you marital status if you actually copulate.

I will advise yo to live your life as humanly normal as possible, and dont follow the Bible that says you should pluck out your eye if it is the organ that will stop you from receiving mercy. In your own case the whole body would hae been chopped off. I ow give you Islam nd the man your live in lover boyfriend can become muslim in due course, and I imagine his denial of God is that he cant see Hm? Maybe you should ak him if he has any brain in his skull, since no one has seen it in his head.

If you need to contact me write to icncito@yahoo.com

Two words of advice,"MARRY HIM"
You are not going to see any better man to propose to you in any church, i swear.All you will see in churches are a bunch of scriptural hypocrites and bible thumbing bigots of men who use biblical scriptures to disrespect and belittle women.The socalled religious men have egos the size of mount Everest.

If you let him out of your grasp because of peer pressure, my sister, ya own don finish as far as Mr. right is concerned.Your boyfriend(according to your description of him) is far more spiritual than any christian man you have and will ever know.

It is your life and your happiness and not that of your parents and your church brethrens, so choose wisely.

Sia Fuller:

I am an Avid reader of Nairaland and i have never bothered to comment but to enjoy the comments and advices of others i relationship matters but i think i now need your assistance before i lose the plot.

I have been dating this guy for a while now and honestly speaking without exaggerating too much, he is the most perfect man to me. He is tall, dark, handsome, hardworking and very kind to a fault. He helps people at will and takes no offence whatso ever at my excesses except i over do it to a fault and instead of getting mad at me to hit me or abuse me, he just walks away for an hour or 2 and comes back as if nothing happens. The only snag i have with him is that he is an atheist and doesnt believe in God whatso ever. I am a very strong Christian and i didnt take it as anything at first when he was trying to date me. I saw it as a juvenile boy's thing and maybe misguided and my purpose was to date him to make him change his ways and believe in God, but instead he has kept steadfast to his belief of not believing in God and hating anything about religion but apart from that, he is everything a girl could want in a man or more.

Since i have known him, he doesnt smoke or drink or party, move around with unserious or bad friends. He has never cheated on me and promised to never do so because its not his nature. He hasn't hit me before and also swore the day that he hits me mistakenly i should stab him and dump him there and then because he doesnt appreciate Men who beat women. He takes care of me and sometimes even cook for me when ever i come to his place. He even paid close to N300,000 for my hospital bills when i had a surgery and he stayed with me most of the time. I know he truely and genuinely loves me but this issue of his religion and atheism is my only problem with him. He has even driven me to church on so many occassions when it rains or when am going for Night Virgil but he never comes down or attends it and he sometimes comes back to pick me up when i am done.

He blatantly refuses to change. My pastor dislikes him so much and sees him as a bad influence to me because he says anybody that is not of the spirit and with the spirit of God is a temptation to be cut loose. My Mom doesnt even want to hear anything about him until he renounces his atheism but she hasnt complained about him concerning anything else. My Dad has warned me not to bring a devil to his house hold and sees him as a Devil's incarnate and spritually unclean. He even promised to disown me if i ever call him my financee talkless of bringing home as a potential husband. Most of my female friends drool over him and tell me how lucky i am to meet such a good man while others warn me that he is demonic and i should stay away from him because he doesnt believe in God.

The thing is that he is very brilliant and intelligent and when you hear him speak sometimes he could be so mesmerizing when denouncing religion and the bible or Koran as mere propagandas and fictional works. There was even a day some people in my fellowship came to meet him to pray and convert him and it turned into a debate and he ended up winning the argument and making us question or faith back in a total reversal of roles. He is very unsparing and merciless when it comes to things of God, Bible or religion and makes no apologises for it. Apart from that, he is a total kitty cat. Calm, collected, mature, responsible and humble. 2 days ago he jokingly made a feeble attempt to propose to me but added a clause that we would only do a registry marriage and not church wedding because he cant stand the site of the hypocrisy of christianity and the church but he would go out of his way to make sure i have a memorable wedding @ the registry and reception. He tells me that prayers dont work and only daft and lazy people believe in prayers. He says you don't have to be a christian to be kind, compassionate and honest and to help people. He says its human nature and the society that dictates how we think and act and he chooses to be someone that is kind and honest to people and not attribute it to one God or Church. Anytime i come back from Church and talk about my pastor or what i was taught, he gets very angry. He doesnt like hearing anything about pastors, churches, tithes and sermons but when you get into a biblical argument with him, its as if he knows the bible inside out and the right quotes without even reading it. He is that articulate.

For the past 2 days i have been in a dilema now. He wants to marry me i believe and i love him seriously to bits. I have dated other so called born again or spiritually filled guys in my past that messed me up so badly and i know alot of men use this as a bait to catch women and end up showing their true colors later on. My boyfriend is not disguising who he is in terms of his spirituality but he is offering me this unconditional love which i have seen and no man has given me despite their promises. My only fear is that my parents will see me as an out cast, my friends dont like him for it, my pastor and church members loathe him for being an athiest and dislike more everyday i am with him. If i go ahead with my choice to stick with him, i lose my soul and my community but gain happiness because he has truely being a wonderful man so far but if i leave him for my friends, family and community i might lose my prince charming that every woman dreams of that loves me dearly.

I am really confused and i have to make a decision quickly. Please help advise me. Please no nasty comments too i beg you. Hope we can be civil with this.

P:S: I will be 30 in September.

nopuqeater:

At least you are sincere, though I think i is your ignorance that brings this quality in you. ouare honest enough to indicate your primary reason for giving in. Then you are inicating to me that you and he live together. So am going to take it nd be blunt that intimacy is actully involved in all of this.

These two are part of the hallmark body of Christiaity; why cant you people be sincere with yourselvs that you fornicate and have usually a lying spirit when you are trying to gain soul for Jesus? Darn dishonest jihadists.

And 30 is not soo young either, lady. A mere looking at the opposite gender, believed by Christians is in itsef fornicaton, and if you are married adultery. Lady, now marry him and work towards both of you becoming Muslims. At least in Islam, if you looked at an opposite gender just the first time, it is not sinful. You commit sin f fornication or adultery depending on you marital status if you actually copulate.

I will advise yo to live your life as humanly normal as possible, and dont follow the Bible that says you should pluck out your eye if it is the organ that will stop you from receiving mercy. In your own case the whole body would hae been chopped off. I ow give you Islam nd the man your live in lover boyfriend can become muslim in due course, and I imagine his denial of God is that he cant see Hm? Maybe you should ak him if he has any brain in his skull, since no one has seen it in his head.

If you need to contact me write to icncito@yahoo.com

Are u an illiterate? Did u even read the OP at all? Are u brain-dead?

How can a normal human being relate what u wrote to the OP?

Walahi, i just weak as I read ur post.

Tudór:

Are u an illiterate? Did u even read the OP at all? Are u brain-dead?

How can a normal human being relate what u wrote to the OP?

Walahi, i just weak as I read your post.

. . .I laugh tire I wan die. . . .

But what is it with this puerile talk that atheist are bad, evil, dangerous, wicked etc . Evidence to show that religious people are more moral that atheist is WHAT?. . . . .If you want to marry the fine man then go ahead and do so, if your mythical beliefs and way of thinking is paramount to you then fine. . . . .Do as you please. . . .

What I don't quite understand is if people are willing to be accept that others have some right to practice other religion without openly demonizing and castigating them why aren't they tolerant of a lack of faith? If say, you were a Hindu, Christians and Muslims will be like "oh wow, I've never met a Hindu before and will begin to as Hindu related questions, even though they kind of believe that you are on the wrong side of things and on your way to hell already. You still wouldn't believe in their own version or concept o God but they will kind of tolerate you except for the militant and fundamental types that will like to convert you or tell you that you are on the wrong side of things, Most will tolerate you to a certain extent. Say I am an atheist and every body will run away What different does it make really? Why the ridiculous assumption that a person is immoral because he is without a belief in some imaginary and man made entity?

@OP: There is a lot of false Teaching and practice in the church today, many are born out of ignorance, greed and selfishness; and many so-called Christians are actually practising idolatry and witchcraft, thinking they can control God using their money or by licking their pastor's boots.


Many atheists are right in some of their perspectives, but overall I believe atheists have taken things too far, like an animal that was chased and cornered and no longer gives a damn, wont spare you any bit of the attack with its last breath and energy.


I think you found a great guy, you only need to LISTEN to him, to find out if he's only throwing the baby away with the bath water. Listen to what he has to say and look beyond the "he's an atheist!" label. You may find common ground, and he may find the last piece of the puzzle.


It will probably take a lot of time so if you are in a hurry, you may want to find someone else. I wish you the very best!

I can tell you one thing immediately:  there is no such human being that is an atheist or one who does not believe in God.  What we have are people who do not have the inclination to accept the amazingly multifarious concepts of God that is taught in religions.  Each religion paints a different picture of God and incredibly each wants its own concept to be accepted by others and when this does not happen, they brand those who refuse to accept their theories.

Again, what is most frustrating about all these is that each religion tries to monopolise the Almighty, that they alone have access to Him and that only the ways they have prescribed can lead to Him and no other way.  Thus they want to force their opinions upon others.  Strong willed people who still have within them their humanity cannot accept the various versions held out today of the concept of the Almighty.

Unfortunately, the commercialism that religion has become today makes it imperative that each religion have to device means and strategies to capture a chunk of the 'market'.  They do this by besmirching those who do not share their views or who refuse to be drawn into the web of falsehood that is so prevalent today.

In addition, there is so much about life, existence and the Almighty that no religion has been able to explain and so the word 'faith' was coined by them to get people to believe the unbelievables.  They have not been able to explain so many things that are in existence today, for example why people are born into particular circumstances where from the very beginning they are exposed to the hard side of life while others are born with golden or silver spoons.  Why natural disasters happen and why there is so much wickedness in the world today.  Given the number of religious people in Nigeria, the country ought to be the best country in the world to live in.  But the reality today should tell you that what is done in the religions cannot be right because it has not brought us progress.  Clear and deep thinking people usually reject religion and that is what is mistakenly taken to be atheism.

No right thinking human being can reject the existence of God because the whole of creation attest to His Existence.  The very fact that there is creation gives you the proof that there is a Creator.  As a minor example, the very fact that there is a computer is proof that there are computer engineers, technologists, designers, programmers etc. However, it is not in the computer's place to decide to believe in the existence of its creator.  Whether human beings accept His Existence or not does not change the fact.  As everyone knows, creation is a masterpiece of a design in which everything we need to sustain us is provided by the All-Wise Creator.

We all know that everything requires a source of energy to function. Human beings require nourishment, our vehicles require fuel, our industries require electric power and so forth.  Even the spirit require power to live as a spirit.  Ask your boyfriend the Source of the Power that maintain and sustain Creation or does he not believe that we need power to survive.  Listen very well to his explanation of whether power is needed or not, and then the Source of that Power and you will be able to decipher whether he does not indeed believe in the existence of the Creator for He alone is the Source of Power for all creation.

I will stop here for now until you have carried out the exercise and then we can continue when you have the result.

@OP,
I assure u, you do not want to be ostrascized by ur family for anything, it doesnt feel good at all.

I'm an Atheist too and I tell u we can be as good and as bad as everyone else.

Not marrying the guy is not an option so the way I see it there ere two ways out.

1. Your parents, pastor and friends become open minded and accept the dude (FAT CHANCE)

2. Your fiancee concedes an becomes a 'christian'. (you'd be suprised how fast he'll become accepted by ur folks after this)

As for option no 2 (which I Think should be the easiest), your fiancee doesnt really have to be christian. He can just 'pretend' to be 'born again'. Lay it on thick about finding the light, being arrested by the spirit and the whole ten yards. Water baptism and speaking in tongues would help his cause too.

The most important thing here is that u have accepted him for who and what he is. That is all that should matter but unfortunately it aint so in Nigeria family and in-laws play a big role in marriage.

Most of my atheist friends did this and Got married and after marriage they went back to status quo. Families in nigeria rant and rave before marriage but after marriage u must stay with ur husband even if he's a ritualist.

Even I as an atheist have 'christian' written on on all my official documents
. Your fiancee shouldnt find this hard to do afterall what does he have to lose?

Either this or u guys break up or marry wiout the consent of ur parents.

There u have it, your options in black and white.

JohnKester:

I can tell you one thing immediately:  there is no such human being that is an atheist or one who does not believe in God.  What we have are people who do not have the inclination to accept the amazingly multifarious concepts of God that is taught in religions.  Each religion paints a different picture of God and incredibly each wants its own concept to be accepted by others and when this does not happen, they brand those who refuse to accept their theories.

Again, what is most frustrating about all these is that each religion tries to monopolise the Almighty, that they alone have access to Him and that only the ways they have prescribed can lead to Him and no other way.  Thus they want to force their opinions upon others.  Strong willed people who still have within them their humanity cannot accept the various versions held out today of the concept of the Almighty.

Unfortunately, the commercialism that religion has become today makes it imperative that each religion have to device means and strategies to capture a chunk of the 'market'.  They do this by besmirching those who do not share their views or who refuse to be drawn into the web of falsehood that is so prevalent today.

In addition, there is so much about life, existence and the Almighty that no religion has been able to explain and so the word 'faith' was coined by them to get people to believe the unbelievables.  They have not been able to explain so many things that are in existence today, for example why people are born into particular circumstances where from the very beginning they are exposed to the hard side of life while others are born with golden or silver spoons.  Why natural disasters happen and why there is so much wickedness in the world today.  Given the number of religious people in Nigeria, the country ought to be the best country in the world to live in.  But the reality today should tell you that what is done in the religions cannot be right because it has not brought us progress.  Clear and deep thinking people usually reject religion and that is what is mistakenly taken to be atheism.

No right thinking human being can reject the existence of God because the whole of creation attest to His Existence.  The very fact that there is creation gives you the proof that there is a Creator.  As a minor example, the very fact that there is a computer is proof that there are computer engineers, technologists, designers, programmers etc. However, it is not in the computer's place to decide to believe in the existence of its creator.  Whether human beings accept His Existence or not does not change the fact.  As everyone knows, creation is a masterpiece of a design in which everything we need to sustain us is provided by the All-Wise Creator.

We all know that everything requires a source of energy to function. Human beings require nourishment, our vehicles require fuel, our industries require electric power and so forth.  Even the spirit require power to live as a spirit.  Ask your boyfriend the Source of the Power that maintain and sustain Creation or does he not believe that we need power to survive.  Listen very well to his explanation of whether power is needed or not, and then the Source of that Power and you will be able to decipher whether he does not indeed believe in the existence of the Creator for He alone is the Source of Power for all creation.

I will stop here for now until you have carried out the exercise and then we can continue when you have the result.

o boy, you're preaching to the choir. . . There are people who don't believe in God, Deal with it!!

NB: I'm glad this was posted here . . . i responded to the thread in the romance section but it is more appropriate here.

There is growing trend i have been seeing with this new form of atheism . . . it is visceral in its hatred of anything christian, sometimes violent and elicits the worst kind of dislike.

For instance, i do not believe in Sango, but i dont go foaming in the mouth at the site of sango worshippers. Notice these from the OPs boyfriend . . .

He helps people at will and takes no offence whatso ever at my excesses except i over do it to a fault and[b] instead of getting mad at me to hit me or abuse me, he just walks away for an hour or 2[/b] and comes back as if nothing happens.

This guy must be gold . . . doesnt sound like anything upsets him but then . . .

Anytime i come back from Church and talk about my pastor or what i was taught, he gets very angry.

This looks like an "innocent" kind of anger but is it? why is this guy calm, cool and collected about EVERYTHING else but goes crazy at the mere mention of Jesus?

He doesnt like hearing anything about pastors, churches, tithes and sermons but when you get into a biblical argument with him, its as if he knows the bible inside out and the right quotes without even reading it. He is that articulate.

Satan knows the bible too, far better than the greatest preacher on earth . . . but knowing the scriptures is completely different from living it. Seems your boyfriend knows the bible verses simply as a weapon to denigrate it.

Now to the OP. . .

There was even a day some people in my fellowship came to meet him to pray and convert him and it turned into a debate and he ended up winning the argument and making us question or faith back in a total reversal of roles.

Quite clearly . . . neither YOU nor your church members understand the bible at all.

If i go ahead with my choice to stick with him, i lose my soul and my community but gain happiness because he has truely being a wonderful man so far but if i leave him for my friends, family and community i might lose my prince charming that every woman dreams of that loves me dearly.

You ma'am will only gain temporary happiness with this man. I'm sorry but no man (nor woman) is worthy of losing my soul in hell, faith in Christ and my entire family. Your "prince charming" may be ok with you going to church now but have you ever considered what happens WHEN you eventually become his wife? Would he stand the sight of you and his kids forever hoping from church to bible study, night vigils or prayer meetings? Would you have the freedom of praying in your own bedroom? What will his reaction be when he sees you reading the bible when he wants you doing something else? I think you are forgetting something very important - a marriage where the man and woman are divided on something as major as spiritual compatibility is one headed for disaster and misery for you.

When you have problems in this marriage who will you turn to? the mother, father and pastors you despised to marry your "prince charming"? You say that you are a "strong christian" but NO WHERE in your write-up did i read about you asking God if this man is truly His choice for you. You seem to be carried along by your infatuation for this man. . .

It is said that no matter how rich a young man is, he can never have as many rags as an old man. Your parents love you more than you think, you may be an adult and able to make your own decisions . . . but i'd be wary to marry someone my parents have deep reservations for.

Good luck to you

I love to respond to topic but first point out absurdity by nopuqeater.

Nopuqeater was this thread opened for u to display your already noticeable ignorance? All the thread that i have opposed u in the Religion Section its always due to u changing matters being discussed. Thk God u have also done same here. Try to change,by growing out of 'retardity'

nopuqeater:

At least you are sincere, though I think i is your ignorance that brings this quality in you. ouare honest enough to indicate your primary reason for giving in. Then you are inicating to me that you and he live together. So am going to take it nd be blunt that intimacy is actully involved in all of this.

These two are part of the hallmark body of Christiaity; why cant you people be sincere with yourselvs that you fornicate and have usually a lying spirit when you are trying to gain soul for Jesus? Darn dishonest jihadists.

And 30 is not soo young either, lady. A mere looking at the opposite gender, believed by Christians is in itsef fornicaton, and if you are married adultery. Lady, now marry him and work towards both of you becoming Muslims. At least in Islam, if you looked at an opposite gender just the first time, it is not sinful. You commit sin f fornication or adultery depending on you marital status if you actually copulate.

I will advise yo to live your life as humanly normal as possible, and dont follow the Bible that says you should pluck out your eye if it is the organ that will stop you from receiving mercy. In your own case the whole body would hae been chopped off. I ow give you Islam nd the man your live in lover boyfriend can become muslim in due course, and I imagine his denial of God is that he cant see Hm? Maybe you should ak him if he has any brain in his skull, since no one has seen it in his head.

If you need to contact me write to icncito@yahoo.com

d like that)

Tudor

We obviously have two different definitions for human beings. I said human beings who still have their humanity in them, will always believe in God. However, on earth today not all those who have the human form still qualify to be call human because the humanity in them is dead and buried. Such may not believe in God and it is not surprising.

If you consider everyone human who appear in human form, then I will agree with you that there may be those who do not believe in God. However, for me the human form alone does not suffice to make everyone human, therefore there are people which to me are not human. If such do not believe in God, it does not matter because inwardly they are dead!

@post
If you go ahead and marry the guy against your parents consent, there is always the possibility that they will change thier attitude towards him when you start making babies. But then if i was the guy i would just pretend, become a born again just to appease his inlaws and change after.

@OP
You're not a christian. I'm surer about that than I'm sure of ever again making a post on nairaland. I'm not a politician and I don't need to be politically-correct with you. Repent and believe the gospel. Jesus is coming soon

Image123:

@OP
You're not a christian. I'm surer about that than I'm sure of ever again making a post on nairaland. I'm not a politician and I don't need to be politically-correct with you. Repent and believe the gospel. Jesus is coming soon

The arrogance of a believer.
@ Image123,
I am so sure that you are a fool. How do you know that the poster is not a christian? Your arrogance is so breathtaking.

manmustwac:

@post
If you go ahead and marry the guy against your parents consent, there is always the possibility that they will change thier attitude towards him when you start making babies. But then[b] if i was the guy i would just pretend, become a born again just to appease his inlaws and change after.[/b]

As far as i'm concerned, the OPs bf is simply pretending to tolerate her faith now . . . after marriage it will be a different story. Dont say you werent warned.

Image123:

@OP
You're not a christian. I'm surer about that than I'm sure of ever again making a post on nairaland. I'm not a politician and I don't need to be politically-correct with you. Repent and believe the gospel. Jesus is coming soon

My own unfortunate conclusion on this matter too.

Zodiac61:

The arrogance of a believer.
@ Image123,
I am so sure that you are a fool. How do you know that the poster is not a christian? Your arrogance is so breathtaking.

There is nothing "arrogant" in Image123's post, it is the duty of the christian to admonish a fellow brother or sister or at least one who professes to believe.

It is quite sad that in the process of condemning Image123's "arrogance", you decide to descend to the realm of using adhominems. One is then at loss as to what exactly your point really is.

u ar a lucky chap to have met this man of urs. Good for u, my only problem is d young man is too good to a fault, find out more about him and then reach a decision.

some people get mind ooo!

How will somebody say he/she does not believe in God?

Infact, I dont like readin these kind of story, I will pretend as if I did not even log on to NL today


una good nite

JohnKester:

Tudor

We obviously have two different definitions for human beings. I said human beings who still have their humanity in them, will always believe in God. However, on earth today not all those who have the human form still qualify to be call human because the humanity in them is dead and buried. Such may not believe in God and it is not surprising.

If you consider everyone human who appear in human form, then I will agree with you that there may be those who do not believe in God. However, for me the human form alone does not suffice to make everyone human, therefore there are people which to me are not human. If such do not believe in God, it does not matter because inwardly they are dead!

you're talking rubbish, what is is humanity? What constitutes a man's humanity?

According to your foolish logic a man who demonstrates all attributes of humanity but doesn't believe in God, then such a man isn't human. . . . think again abeg.

@ Poster

wow, This is serious. But if not for the exaggerated emphasis we place on religion in our society,this wouldn't be a problem. I wouldn't say to you HE IS TOO PERFECT or all that stuff. I think I can relate with you on that fact that there does exist people with near-no bad habits.
Here is what I would do if I were you, and i think its the easy option for you.
Continue to date him. Your family doesn't have to love him. Everybody can be doing his own thing without an influence of a hate or love.
Just hold on to what you have an pray that one day he sees the LIGHT.
In my opinion,you will live happily with him

JohnKester:

Tudor

We obviously have two different definitions for human beings. I said human beings who still have their humanity in them, will always believe in God. However, on earth today not all those who have the human form still qualify to be call human because the humanity in them is dead and buried. Such may not believe in God and it is not surprising.

If you consider everyone human who appear in human form, then I will agree with you that there may be those who do not believe in God. However, for me the human form alone does not suffice to make everyone human, therefore there are people which to me are not human. If such do not believe in God, it does not matter because inwardly they are dead!

I dont agree with you and i'm christian.

its difficult to make a decision with all these many suggestions.
however you must do so.

if you dont care about his beliefs and his attitude towards your faith then go ahead with it.
but if your faith goes to the root of your existence then dont gamble,just leave him.

the question now is:are you a christian?

Wow. @ OP, I want to say, sure go marry him, but it seems like you have not looked at some other big issues.  Have you guys discussed how you will raise your children?  Will he be happy with the kids being Christians? Or are you willing to raise your kids outside of the church?

Make sure you think this through very well. He does seem like a decent guy but remember:  marriage is about compromise so ask yourself if your faith (and possibly that of your kids) is really something you will be able to compromise in your relationship.

you too, you are like your boyfriend you are not a christian because in your story you said he has not cheated on you. meaning yo have been sleeping with him. He is just you boyfriend and not your husband.
i beg you let CHRIST come into your life today
and he will show you the right man

davidylan:

NB: I'm glad this was posted here . . . i responded to the thread in the romance section but it is more appropriate here.

There is growing trend i have been seeing with this new form of atheism . . . it is visceral in its hatred of anything christian, sometimes violent and elicits the worst kind of dislike.

For instance, i do not believe in Sango, but i dont go foaming in the mouth at the site of sango worshippers. Notice these from the OPs boyfriend . . .

This guy must be gold . . . doesnt sound like anything upsets him but then . . .

This looks like an "innocent" kind of anger but is it? why is this guy calm, cool and collected about EVERYTHING else but goes crazy at the mere mention of Jesus?


Satan knows the bible too, far better than the greatest preacher on earth . . . but knowing the scriptures is completely different from living it. Seems your boyfriend knows the bible verses simply as a weapon to denigrate it.

Now to the OP. . .

Quite clearly . . . neither YOU nor your church members understand the bible at all.

You ma'am will only gain temporary happiness with this man. I'm sorry but no man (nor woman) is worthy of losing my soul in hell, faith in Christ and my entire family. Your "prince charming" may be ok with you going to church now but have you ever considered what happens WHEN you eventually become his wife? Would he stand the sight of you and his kids forever hoping from church to bible study, night vigils or prayer meetings? Would you have the freedom of praying in your own bedroom? What will his reaction be when he sees you reading the bible when he wants you doing something else? I think you are forgetting something very important - a marriage where the man and woman are divided on something as major as spiritual compatibility is one headed for disaster and misery for you.

When you have problems in this marriage who will you turn to? the mother, father and pastors you despised to marry your "prince charming"? You say that you are a "strong christian" but NO WHERE in your write-up did i read about you asking God if this man is truly His choice for you. You seem to be carried along by your infatuation for this man. . .

It is said that no matter how rich a young man is, he can never have as many rags as an old man. Your parents love you more than you think, you may be an adult and able to make your own decisions . . . but i'd be wary to marry someone my parents have deep reservations for.

Good luck to you

This absolutely makes no sense.
What stops a christian man from converting to a satanist after marriage? If that happens then what?

All this unnecessary what if, what if, what ifs' doesnt apply to atheist husbands alone.

Jesus ate with sinners and theives, God used prostitutes like Rahab who even became an ancestor of christ. So whats the big deal?

Christianity teaches a woman whose husband is an unbeliever or reverts to an unbeliever should stay in the marraige BUT somehow women aren't allowed to marry unbelievers and those who do aren't christians according to u.

Tell me, whats the difference? Since marrying an unbeliever makes u unchristian, then staying married to one is unchristian too and grounds for divorce, right?

Davidylan
Don't mind zodiac. What can I say for him? Father, forgive him, for he's ignorant. May God have mercy, sinners are so bold these days.

It is risky - so called 'angels' can change into terrors overnight once you are legally his wife.

The problem here is that without him being a Christian, who will you refer to when you have disagreements that can't be resolved? Definitely not your pastor because your boyfriend thinks he is a hypocrite.

The fact is that you took a VERY wrong step in embarking on this 'missionary' relationship - they rarely work out.  

Don't marry him unless you want to run the risk of him changing and deciding you shouldn't be a Christian anymore because of his 'hatred' of religion.

I appreciate your age and the concern that it brings, but you (hopefully) marry only once and you cannot substitute that for anything else.

I think you should leave him - never choose anything above your faith, unless you are not really a Christian. A tough decision with the deep bonds you've formed already, but a necessary one if you don't want to take the risk of losing your soul. If you can deal with that risk, then go ahead.

u said u are a christian if so why do want ur feelins 2 rule u, i believe u know d truth and true way. Let God rule over u . u will see a better person, onily u can pray 4get about ur age . Dont marry regret later becos once u are in no way out till death do u apart. pray and let God lead 2 rightful partner, tanks

DOES HE BELIEVE IN SATAN?PLS I NEED AN ANSWER.WHETHER ISLAM,CHRISTIANITY,JUDAISM.ETC THEY ALL BELIEVE IN A CREATOR(GOD).SO IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE TRYING TO SLANDER A PARTICULAR RELIGION.
IF HE BELIEVES IN SATAN THEN U 4GET HIM AS A HUSBAND. I NEED MY ANSWER @ POSTER.

Tudór:

This absolutely makes no sense.
What stops a christian man from converting to a satanist after marriage? If that happens then what?

i really dont understand what the second line is meant to convey. What does it have to do with the OPs case? If you marry a christian and he decides to convert to satanism . . . huh? Is that the issue at stake here?

Tudór:

All this unnecessary what if, what if, what ifs' doesnt apply to atheist husbands alone.

It doesnt . . . no one ever said it did. But considering this is talking about atheist bfs we're limiting it to this.

Tudór:

Jesus ate with sinners and theives, God used love-peddlers like Rahab who even became an ancestor of christ. So whats the big deal?

Do you really understand this you are talking about? YES Christ ate with sinners and thieves but NONE of those he ate with went away the same. YES Rahab was used by God BUT only after she had shown tremendous interest in following the God of Israel.

What do those things have to do this case?

Tudór:

Christianity teaches a woman whose husband is an unbeliever or reverts to an unbeliever should stay in the marraige BUT somehow women aren't allowed to marry unbelievers and those who do aren't christians according to u.

This is nonsense . . . you quoted the bible correctly for the first case BUT DISHONESTLY forgot to quote that the same bible also admonishes that a believer shld NOT be yoked with an unbeliever.

Tudór:

Tell me, whats the difference? Since marrying an unbeliever makes u unchristian, then staying married to one is unchristian too and grounds for divorce, right?

That makes no sense. the bible speaks about remaining in an unchristian marriage only on 2 grounds:

1. That both married as GENUINE christians and one backslid. Well you stay in the marriage.

2. Both married as UNBELIEVERS and one got converted . . . stay in the marriage.

However in the event that a single person is a believer . . . you cannot marry an unbeliever.

That is the issue . . . not all the dross you have said so far.