My dear, i am almost same so dont worry. YOU ARE NOT GAY. DONT EVER THINK OF IT!

Walking into a public house for easy sex or just seeing a naked girl anyhow makes the whole thing seem worthless, dirty infact utterly disgusting but when there is suspense, plotting, better cuddling and caressing sets the mood and no negative reasoning. Won't even know when the action happened.

It is all about your mind. You are thinking the matter too much or something is stressing you. E.g. Education, Financial stress, low self esteem.

You have a strong and intelligent mind. You dont just need sex but love making with someone mature who belongs to you e.g wife

1) forget about the issue entirely, 2)get a better social standing that is, make more money and/or finish your education, 3)widen your social circle like involve in more church and/or academic programmes where you interact with more people. 4)Don't look for a fine girl but someone that your heart admires. 5)LEARN ABOUT MATURE PILLOW TALK, pre-intimacy AND ROMANTIC DATES.

Troubledmind:
Hi nairalanders, I'm pete(pseudonym), I'm 22, and a virgin, I come from an average family, I won't say I'm too handsome but I'm averagely good looking, they was a phase in my life where I was hyperactive and always drawn to the opposite sex that mere looking at a pic I get erection, this made me chased a lot of girls with different tactics( sweet mouth, dressing, money) they all rejected me despite my looks and money, I resort to porn but find it disgusting, I switched to masturbat,ion it didn't work infact nothing is enjoyable about it and sex workers are a no no for me,

after trying desperately for years to get a real girlfriend for the first time in my life I gave up on searching, I kept loosing intrest in girls, now I never get sexually aroused anymore, even when I see naked women physically or we get locked in a room I will feel nothing, the only erection I get now is the early morning erection, I'm not gay but I am really starting to get worried

Lalasticlal.a please help a brother

Many life problem have thrown u into a mild depression n its progressing......

Visit a doctor, its quite fixable.

Get a sex doll

Focus on how to make money first. when u make ur money, gals will be excess, na U go dey choose.....

ghst:
it's called being asexual@OP I have this same issue and have learned to live with it

This is the exact thing I wanted to tell him.

Very useless topic. Shey me wey girls no find me sexually attractive am ok.

mhisbliss:
there you go with the wrong stereotype again, (girls are drawn to money) you're right about focusing on his hustle but wrong about the money thing, any girl that is after your money is not different from a prostitue so don't generalize, his problem is not the fact that girls aint throwing themselves at him, his fear is the fact that he's loosing his sex drive, not getting attracted to girls is a big problem, he might be transcending into homosexuality, my advice to you is try to know why those girls rejected you, you can befriend them and get acquainted to the point that they're comfortable talking to you, they'll tell you one way or the other why they rejected your advances, if you're lucky, they'll have similar reasons, looks and money isn't all you need to woo a girl I feel it has something to do with your personality so work on yourself

check whether u have either mouth odour or body odour....girls can be funny sometimes

Ur case is very nornal. Its simply depression/frustration...evrybody (both male and female) has/will experience dis at one point in their lives. Alot of ppl might deny this just to save face, especially ppl making fun of u on this page. But its a fact!. Just engage in something u enjoy doing ( mine are reading novels, watching a movie, internet surfing, etc), think of funny situations and funny ppl (eg that funny highschool or college teacher/lecturer, funny classmates, funny ppl in ur street/neighbourhood, etc), sleep well, eat a lot of fruits, listen to music (trying pacing around while listening, as its good for the heart), reduce ur sugar intake (dis is difficult for me too, but im achieving some success in doing so :-) ), and also reduce ur oil and caffein intake, especially in the evenings (as excessive amounts can trigger anxiety, which leads to sleeplees nights and depression follows). All these suggestions im giving may sound funny. But trust me dey help, and diet also plays an important role too in such issues, but unfortunately alot of ppl (especially Nigerians) are ignorant of this fact. And most importantly like some1 said previously, focus on more important issues which could be future career, studies, learning a skill etc. Pls u are very normal, nothing is wrong with u, dont mind ppl making jest of ur situation. For more tips on hw to overcome ur problem, Google will also come in handy...you'll observe a lot of ppl online have similar if not worse issues, And professional solutions will be online as well. Its well bro... cheer up and be happy. Life is too short for unnecessary worries. Things will surely fall in place. Its only a matter of time...Goodluck... :-)

kolawoleibukun:
OP I understand your case. It is normal but a very dangerous phase in life. You are pretty young and at this age you can be prone to divert your sexual orientation. You have sexual assuages that are not met. You need some loving but you cannot commit yourself to a relationship. You have an ego and that makes you picky with girls. You have a moral standing (perhaps) that controls your conscience.

Trust me, it is difficult to explain your situation to anyone because the majority will not understand. They will callously tell you that it is normal and that is it. You need more than that. What you really need is a guide. At his stage, you will not find the correct answers with anyone simply dismissing your case. If you can commit yourself with someone who can be there for you to fill the void in your life, you will feel better.

We all say that we are not gays but the fact is that there are times when you feel inclined to fall on a guy not because you are gay but because mentally he fills a space that no one else does. If you are on the flamboyant side for real (good looking), the few persons that might sound close to anything tangible around you might be seeking to use you to assuage their own cravings. Your case is the reason why many people turn gays. Not that they were born gays but they find completion in things that are material and not for the soul.

I was in your situation and about 80% of the things you wrote was my life. I was the last in the family and the attention started to disappear as I grew up. It all started with the things that you consume mentally and the people that you have around you. As it stands, you do not have a real friend. You are probably left to yourself after the show ends. You are pretty shy to open up and it is sometimes good because people are too busy with their own problems and they will make a mockery of your situation.

A good thing that you open up now because this is one of the the reasons why people turn Psychopaths and get homicidal later in their years when mid life crisis takes the stage. Marriage does not solve a case like this and neither do girls. That is something people do not know.

Firstly, what you need is you, Peter. You need to understand that you need yourself before anyone else in this world. You need to know that you are normal. You need to know that you need to stay alive. You need to know that your life and world is worth exploring. Your mind is larger than the normal minds and that is the space that you need to fill. You must understand that your body craves for something that money cannot buy. It is a powerful machine working actively yet it is so fragile. Look out!

Secondly, as people grow in body mass, naturally they change their wardrobes. It is time for you to shake up your circle of friends. Friends and same old cycle must go. You need a fresh breath (environment, habit and people). Your addiction to porn must end. You must fight to stay clean and healthy. Standing against red light angels (hoes) means that you still have some moral standing. Clean up your circle of friends and start anew. Take a trip if you can. Learn a new skill. Write a book about what you are going through. Reach out to sufferers like you and learn more about this.

Nigerians neglect mental or psychological struggles. We do not believe in it so the average mind will trash your cash. So, reach out to like sufferers and learn of their struggles and success. Pursue your dream and pursue it hard. You need mental development and you need to stay humble.

Girls do not fall for you because you have very low self esteem and confidence and that projects your effort negatively. They do not see you as a good partner. Trust me, girls need protection and you do not have it. They will collect your money and move. You might have a good pick up line but you do not have anything in you to make a conversation linger. You need GROWTH in all ramifications.

Sex is not what you need. Nigerians commenting here are so dull. All they know is sex sex sex. It sucks!

What do you have a passion for?

Mehn! this is the best write up so far,kola can I chat u up privately if u wouldn't mind.

Troubledmind:
Hi nairalanders, I'm pete(pseudonym), I'm 22, and a virgin, I come from an average family, I won't say I'm too handsome but I'm averagely good looking, they was a phase in my life where I was hyperactive and always drawn to the opposite sex that mere looking at a pic I get erection, this made me chased a lot of girls with different tactics( sweet mouth, dressing, money) they all rejected me despite my looks and money, I resort to porn but find it disgusting, I switched to masturbat,ion it didn't work infact nothing is enjoyable about it and sex workers are a no no for me,

after trying desperately for years to get a real girlfriend for the first time in my life I gave up on searching, I kept loosing intrest in girls, now I never get sexually aroused anymore, even when I see naked women physically or we get locked in a room I will feel nothing, the only erection I get now is the early morning erection, I'm not gay but I am really starting to get worried

Lalasticlal.a please help a brother

You are gay. It is gay men that are not sexually or emotionally attracted to females. However, because you live in a homophobic country like Nigeria where acting on your gay tendencies could land you in jail for 14 years while rapists and paedophiles walk free, you have no choice but to suppress your gay tendencies.

You already know what the problem is. You are just bringing it to Nairaland to fulfill all righteousness. Find a way to migrate because sexual orientation is not something you can change. It is inborn.

Troubledmind:
Hi nairalanders, I'm pete(pseudonym), I'm 22, and a virgin, I come from an average family, I won't say I'm too handsome but I'm averagely good looking, they was a phase in my life where I was hyperactive and always drawn to the opposite sex that mere looking at a pic I get erection, this made me chased a lot of girls with different tactics( sweet mouth, dressing, money) they all rejected me despite my looks and money, I resort to porn but find it disgusting, I switched to masturbat,ion it didn't work infact nothing is enjoyable about it and sex workers are a no no for me,

after trying desperately for years to get a real girlfriend for the first time in my life I gave up on searching, I kept loosing intrest in girls, now I never get sexually aroused anymore, even when I see naked women physically or we get locked in a room I will feel nothing, the only erection I get now is the early morning erection, I'm not gay but I am really starting to get worried

Lalasticlal.a please help a brother

Guy that's a psycho problem, it called a turn off, I developed something similar on my return to Nigeria, your brain is protecting you from the rubbish Nigerian women so to men, baby daddy and stupid sex approach for money. What would make u return to normal is if you go into a relationship based on reasoning, if you get one lady that's appealing to u psychologically you will be ok

mhisbliss:
there you go with the wrong stereotype again, (girls are drawn to money) you're right about focusing on his hustle but wrong about the money thing, any girl that is after your money is not different from a prostitue so don't generalize, his problem is not the fact that girls aint throwing themselves at him, his fear is the fact that he's loosing his sex drive, not getting attracted to girls is a big problem, he might be transcending into homosexuality, my advice to you is try to know why those girls rejected you, you can befriend them and get acquainted to the point that they're comfortable talking to you, they'll tell you one way or the other why they rejected your advances, if you're lucky, they'll have similar reasons, looks and money isn't all you need to woo a girl I feel it has something to do with your personality so work on yourself

Beautiful response. I am impressed.

mhisbliss:
maybe you should read and comprehend, its no different from a prostitute isn't same as is a prositute

i am sorryyou have still not made any point up till now

mhisbliss:
maybe you should read and comprehend, its no different from a prostitute isn't same as is a prositute

but why is it that when someone exposes the pointlessness in your apparently brilliant submissions, many of you ladies use the same card: "maybe you should read and comprehend"? Is this stereotypy? Just curious

Maybe you are gay.

following..... sorry bro

Too much indomie,maybe. Such food can completely kill your libido and sense of focus.

1234onyekwe:
Mehn! this is the best write up so far,kola can I chat u up privately if u wouldn't mind.

yeah feel free.

JastSiryin:
Bro...you are wise!

thanks

I thought I was crazy never knew there were others like me..dumbed all my girlfriends to solve this shit but it ain't going nowhere.
Now, I am just waiting for that Girl that will hit me in the right spots.

Have you tried to watch gay porn? I discovered I am gay visiting the best gay porn sites listed on http://fapongayporn.com/

Troubledmind:
Hi nairalanders, I'm pete(pseudonym), I'm 22, and a virgin, I come from an average family, I won't say I'm too handsome but I'm averagely good looking, they was a phase in my life where I was hyperactive and always drawn to the opposite sex that mere looking at a pic I get erection, this made me chased a lot of girls with different tactics( sweet mouth, dressing, money) they all rejected me despite my looks and money, I resort to porn but find it disgusting, I switched to masturbat,ion it didn't work infact nothing is enjoyable about it and sex workers are a no no for me,

after trying desperately for years to get a real girlfriend for the first time in my life I gave up on searching, I kept loosing intrest in girls, now I never get sexually aroused anymore, even when I see naked women physically or we get locked in a room I will feel nothing, the only erection I get now is the early morning erection, I'm not gay but I am really starting to get worried

Lalasticlal.a please help a brother

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dasparrow:


You are gay. It is gay men that are not sexually or emotionally attracted to females. However, because you live in a homophobic country like Nigeria where acting on your gay tendencies could land you in jail for 14 years while rapists and paedophiles walk free, you have no choice but to suppress your gay tendencies.

You already know what the problem is. You are just bringing it to Nairaland to fulfill all righteousness. Find a way to migrate because sexual orientation is not something you can change. It is inborn.

he might not be gay but asexual so mofo stfu

jaychubi:


At 22 u shld be more concerned abt making sth out of ur life and not weather girl turn u on or not

ode he wouldn't get married

Your pkorlar need service bro

I can understand your condition, while you can try a japanese sex doll, maybe you will change your mind
https://www.sodolls.com/product-category/shop-by-looks/asian-japanese-sex-dolls/

.

@Troubledmind
Since you have morning erection, I believe you're OK. Your problem might be psychological due to numerous rejections.