jeffizy:
He has not cemented his position as the alpha Romeo.

Obviously, the lady is sending him subtle signals that he needs to own her and step up a notch.

holysaint1:


And do you mind suggesting how he actualizes this...?

Because from our conversation he explained that he normally gets her gifts and all..

jeffizy:


It depends on the personality of the lady in question.

His deep knowledge of her character will help a lot.
Is she more of a materialistic person or the type that prefers the flashy bad boy image?

He has to look out for these in his girl to make progress.

CaptainJeffry:
They are dating and not married. So why should the lady close her doors to other men?

A wise lady never puts all her eggs in one basket.

CaptainJeffry:
They are dating and not married. So why should the lady close her doors to other men?

A wise lady never puts all her eggs in one basket.

Cowbuoy:
When you start fûcking up...

Pubichairs:
your nigga should step up his game..why some guys always the fall hand like this nah?

Pahdin??

Cowbuoy:
When you start fûcking up...

holysaint1:


Fucking up in what sense? Care to explain?

TheSuperNerd:



Come back after you have found a lady you truly love and really want to marry okay, a lady you cannot imagine sharing with anyone else... Do that then come drop the same advice....

CaptainJeffry:
If the lady had seen seriousness and commitment in the dude, she wouldn't be giving chances to other dudes.
If she is your sister or daughter, will you advise her to continue hoping on hopelessness?

TheSuperNerd:
Even some ladies will see all the seriousness and still open up their arms like a refugee camp welcoming all kinds of guys in.... or you wanna pretend this is not true also?

And no daughter or sister of mine can be a slut opening up anyhow to men or flirting heavily with all kinds of guys... that is gross. I have a sister aiit.. and I told her from day one that she should never be with a guy who doesn't value her or see a future with her. She followed my advice and she is in a stable relationship with her man.

Your advice is funny because if this girl was yours.... then I wonder if you will dish out the same advice. You say so long as she is not married to him then she is free to welcome in as many guys as she wants abi...

I repeat, find a woman you love but won't marry this year and tell me if you will be cool with allowing her welcome in as many guys into her life as she wants, flirting heavily and even kissing them live as much as he wants.. after all, you haven't put a ring on it abi So she is free to do and undo... lol

So do that... and come offer up your advice again okay. Thanks.

CaptainJeffry:
I may not be cool with that for obvious selfish reason just like every other dude but my inner mind will be cool with that until I make some kind of commitment. A smart lady knows when to give up on her curiosity and adventures.

Truth is that we, men do the same thing. We always compare these girls to know which one we settle down with.

TheSuperNerd:
You "may" not be cool? Are you being serious? Just say you will not be cool or that you will be cool... you cannot sit on the fence in this one. It is either you like it or not.

And what do you mean by your inner mind will be cool with it? So you will be super cool with it until you make some kind of commitment? Hey wait... I said this is the woman you bloody love! You love her for God's sake.. so you are saying you will be cool with having her see other guys and cheat on you? You ate saying even after you both have began a relationship then she is free to walk into as many guys' arms as much as possible and cheat and kiss and smooch as she wants with men just becos you have not put a ring on it? Why are you f**king lying just becos you wanna prove a point?



Well shaa that explains it. It only means you will do same to her. And it also shows the kind of love and relationship you will keep attratcing to yourself Buddy. So if you end up with such a woman, please don't even complain okay... just find your way back to this thread and to your post where you said that "You will be cool with it" aiit Thank you.






And lastly, what exactly do you mean by the bolded? Why are you generalising? Placing all men into this silly category? Why don't you just speak for yourself?

So by comparing, you mean we sleep with all our girl choices and taste each of their lips? You mean we all actually engage in multiple relationships or simultaneously test run romantic rendezvous with different ladies just to make a choice of a lady to end up with?? What kind of man will that make you huh?

I think you should speak up for yourself Sir. Not all men do that. And you are talking to one of such men who don't engage in such nonsense.

I believe that before a man gets into a relationship with a lady, he should have assessed beforehand why it has to be her and no other Lady before he takes the plunge. But you cannot be in a relationship with a lady and still tell me you are making comparisons with other ladies... like seriously? Were you blind before you walked into your current relationship? Why are you wasting time being in a relationship if you are not sure of where it is headed? Mister.... this talk of yours on comparison is totally off-course because I feel you are only creating excuses to justify why you would be supposedly cool with your GF caressing the dick of another man.

Never place all men into one box again ever okay.... because we have men.. and we have Real Men. Take note.

CaptainJeffry:
Hey man, back in my university days, two of the girls I was dating got hooked up with mature men and eventually married. I was cool with them hooking up with mature dudes and when we saw that the dudes were ready to take their relationships to a higher level, I severed my sexual relationships with them.

I talk about myself. I kinda put myself in people's shoes before judging them. The guy up there was busy saying a lot about love, girlfriend ish and all that without saying anything about commitment.

In relationships, ladies are smarter than men. They see what we don't see so for her to be behaving in that manner, the dude should take a look at himself in a mirror.

TheSuperNerd:
That is you and your experience. I told you it is the way you think that will determine what you attract to yourself in terms of love and relationship.... Ladies who you will be so glad to see go straff another man only because he has it more in the money dept than you do.
I saw lots of these scenarios you experienced with other guys and ladies also back in my first degree.
So it is nothing new. What I see is how most times young people just get into relationships just to fill up space and not to be committed. That is the kind you possibly walked into back in your uni days.

I told you something simple which led to all this talk...

I said and I repeat for the third time...

"Find a lady you love and want to end up with and obviously cannot marry this year or maybe even next year and let her be having romping and sexual fun with other guys okay... do that and then I can take your advice seriously."

And the OP sounded so much like he sees a future with this lady. Or you didn't read where the OP described the relationship as a serious relationship??

Look, I am talking of commitment here.. no ring yet but an understanding that exists between a man and a woman that shows "Hey, love this is where we are headed."

That is all where I was coming from before you decided to take it into more branched discussions.

holysaint1:

Thanks for your contributions... They were quite insightful.