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Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism - Romance - Nairaland

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Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Greenbullet(m): 12:34pm On Feb 04, 2018
Hello ladies and gents, I want to address the misconception of feminism, feminism is not always standing up , it is knowing your rights are not abused and making sure they won't, Let me share a story with you,
My friend who is searching for a lady to get married to got hooked with a lady, in just three weeks of courting , this lady asked my friend for 30k to make her hair, my friend kindly obliged, he then begged her to help him wash his clothes as she was not going to work the next day, the lady said she cannot wash for any man and when he comes back, he should wash his clothes, my friend obliged , came back by 8pm, washed it clothes and hanged them, the next day, the lady told him she is going back to her family house and asked for transport fare, my friend gave her 15k, I asked my friend if she cooked and he told me the lady said she was tired !, when my friend was telling me all of this, I slapped him which almost resulted in a fight but we quickly settled. I told him to never call the girl again, the girl has been calling him since 5 days continuously , and my friend has not picked, this lady is 26 years old, is she not crazy ?
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Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by ardiva(m): 12:52pm On Feb 04, 2018
It's not her duty to wash his clothes or cook for him. This sick African culture needs to stop! She cooks or wash because she wants to not because she's dating your friend.

1 Like

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Greenbullet(m): 1:01pm On Feb 04, 2018
ardiva:
It's not her duty to wash his clothes or cook for him. This sick African culture needs to stop! She cooks or wash because she wants to not because she's dating your friend.
There is nothing African in the mentality, a relationship is for companionship , it is not her duty to wash his clothes, its not also his duty to give her a dime, do you think it is easy to make money, he gave her a total of 45k for her hair and transport fare, some people don't earn that in a month and it was given to her in 2 days, for doing absolutely nothing, the lady should appreciate his effort by helping him do chores, cooking, etc. How many girls here can ask their parents for 30k to make their hair, they can't because they know they will be lambasted, but they see a guy who gives them the sum and can't even appreciate his support.

11 Likes

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by sweetetlove(f): 1:05pm On Feb 04, 2018
What brought feminism into this

5 Likes

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by ardiva(m): 1:19pm On Feb 04, 2018
Greenbullet:

There is nothing African in the mentality, a relationship is for companionship , it is not her duty to wash his clothes, its not also his duty to give her a dime, do you think it is easy to make money, he gave her a total of 45k for her hair and transport fare, some people don't earn that in a month and it was given to her in 2 days, for doing absolutely nothing, the lady should appreciate his effort by helping him do chores, cooking, etc. How many girls here can ask their parents for 30k to make their hair, they can't because they know they will be lambasted, but they see a guy who gives them the sum and can't even appreciate his support.
Ok, I see it's about the money,
well tell your friend he could use that money to hire a maid instead. Or maybe define the relationship from the beginning that he needs a girlfriend/maid. You think it's not an African thing? Can you date an American lady and ask her to wash your cloths or cook for you? Of course you can but if she refuses you will swallow it up like nothing happened because you have no choice. Ever wonder why Nigerian men abroad complain when they bring there wives over they change instantly. Please, relationships should be centered on love and affection, if she loves you so much, you don't need to ask her to cook and wash, she will do it willingly because she wants to make you happy in appreciation.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Greenbullet(m): 1:55pm On Feb 04, 2018
ardiva:
Ok, I see it's about the money,
well tell your friend he could use that money to hire a maid instead. Or maybe define the relationship from the beginning that he needs a girlfriend/maid. You think it's not an African thing? Can you date an American lady and ask her to wash your cloths or cook for you? Of course you can but if she refuses you will swallow it up like nothing happened because you have no choice. Ever wonder why Nigerian men abroad complain when they bring there wives over they change instantly. Please, relationships should be centered on love and affection, if she loves you so much, you don't need to ask her to cook and wash, she will do it willingly because she wants to make you happy in appreciation.
ok

1 Like

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Andracarles: 2:03pm On Feb 04, 2018
Did your friend give her money in exchange for her washing and cooking services ? He was not obliged to give her any money, just as she was not obliged to wash his clothes or cook. What does this even have to do with feminism?

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Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by donstan18: 2:13pm On Feb 04, 2018
This story v'got nothing to do with Feminism, sir. We shouldn't misunderstand the word "Feminism", it's no news that some men tags the word "Feminism" when things start going wrong or when they don't get their request approved or adhered by a lady.
Keep feminism out of this, we shouldn't hide under the shield of the word when we fail to achieve some aims in women.


THREE TALKING POINTS FROM YOUR STORY

- We'v got difference between giving and obligation : You don't expect a someone, be it a man or woman to go against his/her principles simply because he/she received money from you, you shouldn't give to be repaid in a pleasing way that might not please the person you helped, give because you wish to give, not because you want to gain. It's no way obligated to a girlfriend to do your laundry or chores for you, and it's not aswell obligated for a man to take care of your financial needs, if incase any of such should be done, let it be done willingly, not out of will. It's just like your dad telling you to suck his d*ck because he financially helped you. cheesy

- The wants of your friend : What do your friend want? is it love, affection, wife, flirt, maid, sex, cook? what exactly, if he needs a a maid, he can get it with such amount of money from anywhere, if he wants a woman who's humble, loyal and hardworking with chores and the rest, he can smartly stay out of the lady, it depends on what he as a man wants from a woman. The lady in person didn't force the money out from him, neither did she bargain to do chores for him if she gets the money from him, at boyfriend and girlfriend level, I don't think we'v got legal and rightful obligations to our partners. Every duty carried out should be out of choice and will.

Love and Understanding : This won't be an issue to partners who loves and understands themselves well, i think i'll blame the lady for not attempting to understand her man's request just as he understood and helped her with her financial request, if a woman really love her man, she can contemplate on going against her will and principle to please her man in some cases. I doubt she loves him.

Drops pen. cheesy

5 Likes

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by makydebbie(f): 2:19pm On Feb 04, 2018
ardiva:
Ok, I see it's about the money,
well tell your friend he could use that money to hire a maid instead. Or maybe define the relationship from the beginning that he needs a girlfriend/maid. You think it's not an African thing? Can you date an American lady and ask her to wash your cloths or cook for you? Of course you can but if she refuses you will swallow it up like nothing happened because you have no choice. Ever wonder why Nigerian men abroad complain when they bring there wives over they change instantly. Please, relationships should be centered on love and affection, if she loves you so much, you don't need to ask her to cook and wash, she will do it willingly because she wants to make you happy in appreciation.


See how you just avoided or will I say failed to see when the guy pleaded with the lady to help him. You also deliberately ignored the fact that she's totally dependent on the guy.

Are you a feminist?

1 Like

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by makydebbie(f): 2:20pm On Feb 04, 2018
sweetetlove:
What brought feminism into this kiss
I wanted to ask this oh. cheesy
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 2:22pm On Feb 04, 2018
ardiva:
Ok, I see it's about the money,
well tell your friend he could use that money to hire a maid instead. Or maybe define the relationship from the beginning that he needs a girlfriend/maid. You think it's not an African thing? Can you date an American lady and ask her to wash your cloths or cook for you? Of course you can but if she refuses you will swallow it up like nothing happened because you have no choice. Ever wonder why Nigerian men abroad complain when they bring there wives over they change instantly. Please, relationships should be centered on love and affection, if she loves you so much, you don't need to ask her to cook and wash, she will do it willingly because she wants to make you happy in appreciation.
In that case, we could now assume she doesn't love the guy.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by dollyjoy(f): 2:22pm On Feb 04, 2018
Andracarles:
Did your friend give her money in exchange for her washing and cooking services ? He was not obliged to give her any money, just as she was not obliged to wash his clothes or cook. What does this even have to do with feminism?
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 2:25pm On Feb 04, 2018
ardiva:
It's not her duty to wash his clothes or cook for him. This sick African culture needs to stop! She cooks or wash because she wants to not because she's dating your friend.
But it's her duty to demand for hair money and expect the guy to give her ungrudgingly. Na wa for una!.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Greenbullet(m): 2:25pm On Feb 04, 2018
Andracarles:
Did your friend give her money in exchange for her washing and cooking services ? He was not obliged to give her any money, just as she was not obliged to wash his clothes or cook. What does this even have to do with feminism?
he could easily keep his money, nobody would juge him, but then he would be tagged incompetent and stingy.
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by makydebbie(f): 2:34pm On Feb 04, 2018
kimbraa:
But it's her duty to demand for hair money and expect the guy to give her ungrudgingly. Na wa for una!.
As in ehn the way I weak. Maybe she didn't read that part when the guy gave the girl money like it's his obligation.

1 Like

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by ardiva(m): 2:34pm On Feb 04, 2018
kimbraa:
But it's her duty to demand for hair money and expect to guy to give her ungrudgingly. Na wa for una!.
It's not her duty to demand for money, neither is he obligated to give her. It's not her duty to wash his clothes neither is she obligated to do so. None of these defines a relationship, what I see here is influenced by culture and the society at large but has nothing to do with feminism. There are lots of women out there who are independent and work for there money, most Nigerian men are intimidated by them, they need a woman the can command at will.

1 Like

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 2:43pm On Feb 04, 2018
ardiva:
It's not her duty to demand for money, neither is he obligated to give her. It's not her duty to wash his clothes neither is she obligated to do so. None of these defines a relationship, what I see here is influenced by culture and the society at large but has nothing to do with feminism. There are lots of women out there who are independent and work for there money, most Nigerian men are intimidated by them, they need a woman the can command at will.
Madam, quit supporting nonsense and take a moment to think. The said successful women know how to create a balance between their chosen careers and relationships. Whether you like it or not; relationships is all about 'Give' and 'Take'. I have no business with whom adds no value to my life just as I'll do my possible best to reciprocate that.

Look, the guy had a busy schedule and it would've been good if she'd come off her high horse to help me with washing the clothes. No one said she should be doing it at all times but that he asked politely for her assistance. Apart from sex that's cheap, what has she to offer him? These little things count and it shows she doesn't have the guy's interest at heart.
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 2:47pm On Feb 04, 2018
makydebbie:
As in ehn the way I weak. Maybe she didn't read that part when the guy gave the girl money like it's his obligation.
I don't know the big deal in washing a few clothes if you actually love the person who happen to have a busy schedule but you can demand for money for hair-do?

1 Like

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by makydebbie(f): 3:02pm On Feb 04, 2018
kimbraa:
I don't know the big deal in washing a few clothes if you actually love the person who happen to have a busy schedule but you can demand for money for hair-do?

This thread is clearly different from the other thread. That guy felt he was entitled to it, this guy clearly pleaded and explained. I see no wrong in helping him.

After collecting money for hair you cannot wash clothes because you're not a slave. I've a feeling that guy is the girl's maga.


The lady you're arguing with seems confused. Her former and latter posts are contradicting each other.
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Greenbullet(m): 3:09pm On Feb 04, 2018
makydebbie:


This thread is clearly different from the other thread. That guy felt he was entitled to it, this guy clearly pleaded and explained. I see no wrong in helping him.

After collecting money for hair you cannot wash clothes because you're not a slave. I've a feeling that guy is the girl's maga.


The lady you're arguing with seems confused. Her former and latter posts are contradicting each other.
my friend is not her maga, they were genuinely dating, the girl when I encountered her seemed proud, she didn't want to greet me but that doesn't concern me because it does not change the figure in my bank account !
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 3:10pm On Feb 04, 2018
makydebbie:


This thread is clearly different from the other thread. That guy felt he was entitled to it, this guy clearly pleaded and explained. I see no wrong in helping him.

After collecting money for hair you cannot wash clothes because you're not a slave. I've a feeling that guy is the girl's maga.


The lady you're arguing with seems confused. Her former and latter posts are contradicting each other.
Most definitely.
I get her point but people should bend in order to move forward their relationships. Some guys aren't worth sweating for while others are.

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Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by makydebbie(f): 3:17pm On Feb 04, 2018
Greenbullet:
my friend is not her maga, they were genuinely dating, the girl when I encountered her seemed proud, she didn't want to greet me but that doesn't concern me because it does not change the figure in my bank account !
You think girls no dey date their maga? Happy new year.
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Greenbullet(m): 3:43pm On Feb 04, 2018
makydebbie:
You think girls no dey date their maga? Happy new year.



ok
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 4:02pm On Feb 04, 2018
ardiva:
It's not her duty to wash his clothes or cook for him. This sick African culture needs to stop! She cooks or wash because she wants to not because she's dating your friend.
I don't see anything wrong in washing or cooking for my guy, I don't even let the guy ask me, I just go there take the dirty clothes and wash, cook if there is no food. I cant call myself a woman and come visiting my man, everywhere scattered and untidy, I just leave it and I love neatness, If you love someone sincerely, you care for the wellbeing of the person.

Little things matters, be forming feminist, another lady will do it for him and tomorrow you come here and cry wolf.

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Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Kalatium(m): 4:07pm On Feb 04, 2018
Cool. Let me park here.
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 4:41pm On Feb 04, 2018
No, this isn't about feminism, but the misconceptions going around on social media about Nigerian brand of feminism

I get op's point though

well, I think your friend have learned a vital life lesson, which is

"never give a lady money and expect any favor in return because some of them believe that is just vigina money" cheesy
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by ardiva(m): 5:58pm On Feb 04, 2018
kimbraa:
Madam, quit supporting nonsense and take a moment to think. The said successful women know how to create a balance between their chosen careers and relationships. Whether you like it or not; relationships is all about 'Give' and 'Take'. I have no business with whom adds no value to my life just as I'll do my possible best to reciprocate that.

Look, the guy had a busy schedule and it would've been good if she'd come off her high horse to help me with washing the clothes. No one said she should be doing it at all times but that he asked politely for her assistance. Apart from sex that's cheap, what has she to offer him? These little things count and it shows she doesn't have the guy's interest at heart.
No one is supporting nonsense, yall should direct your answers to the op and quit mentioning me. The said guy spent about 60k in two days, how much does a washing machine cost? You can get a used one in a very good condition for 40k and save yourself the stress. This is me and this is who I am, I don't need a man who will turn me to his cook or maid, I'm financially independent so I don't need a man for his money. Let the relationship be what it is, a relationship! Don't ask me to do chores!!! I do it if I want to and when I want to. I have a busy schedule too and I contribute my time to a relationship. I have far more better things to offer than sex. If we are married then it's different, why would you act like a wife when you are not! Most men aren't even worth the stress, you work your ass out to keep a relationship while he bangs a hooker after work. No wonder a lot of you ladies have no pride and dignity, please quit mentioning me, I responded to the op, yall should direct your answers to him.

1 Like

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by MrBingo: 7:23pm On Feb 04, 2018
makydebbie:
You think girls no dey date their maga? Happy new year.




Can I buy you pant?
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 7:24pm On Feb 04, 2018
Op she is crazy! ,She's an ingrate, She is wicked too. cheesy

Relationship aside, the least any sensible being can do to someone who helped him or her is to show gratitude. A heart felt thank you and a little gesture. It's not a sign of weakness or desperation, it is to show how much you appreciate the kindness shown to you.

The lady did wrong! Doing chores for someone you are dating is a sign to show you care about the person's well being. She is definitely not in love and does not give a flying fvck about him but his pocket. Your friend is yet to find a lover/wife.

Feminism has nothing to do with this!

1 Like

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by stuffs4me(m): 10:39pm On Feb 04, 2018
ardiva:
Ok, I see it's about the money,
well tell your friend he could use that money to hire a maid instead. Or maybe define the relationship from the beginning that he needs a girlfriend/maid. You think it's not an African thing? Can you date an American lady and ask her to wash your cloths or cook for you? Of course you can but if she refuses you will swallow it up like nothing happened because you have no choice. Ever wonder why Nigerian men abroad complain when they bring there wives over they change instantly. Please, relationships should be centered on love and affection, if she loves you so much, you don't need to ask her to cook and wash, she will do it willingly because she wants to make you happy in appreciation.

See who's talking. The hypocrisy in your blood stinks.. How many American ladies ask their boyfriend for money to make hair, and transport fare, etc

Relationship is a two way traffic but most Nigerian ladies are parasites who contribute nothing. They are completely selfish and self centered. They behave like Africans when they want to collect money from you but quickly and shamelessly become Americans when its time to do their boyfriend little favours.

1 Like

Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 11:07pm On Feb 04, 2018
ardiva:
Ok, I see it's about the money,
well tell your friend he could use that money to hire a maid instead. Or maybe define the relationship from the beginning that he needs a girlfriend/maid. You think it's not an African thing? Can you date an American lady and ask her to wash your cloths or cook for you? Of course you can but if she refuses you will swallow it up like nothing happened because you have no choice. Ever wonder why Nigerian men abroad complain when they bring there wives over they change instantly. Please, relationships should be centered on love and affection, if she loves you so much, you don't need to ask her to cook and wash, she will do it willingly because she wants to make you happy in appreciation.

I have American friends who are even closer than friends because of my religion. Let me tell you what I learnt from them concerning homework. Everywhere in America, more women do more homework than men, it is not a Nigerian thing but a world thing.

In fact, it is more common for girl to do cleaning for a boy in America than for a boy to give her transport fare. Though bought are still obtainable
Re: Ladies And The Misconception Of Feminism by Nobody: 11:11pm On Feb 04, 2018
Andracarles:
Did your friend give her money in exchange for her washing and cooking services ? He was not obliged to give her any money, just as she was not obliged to wash his clothes or cook. What does this even have to do with feminism?

The girl was claiming it wasn't her duty. What do you think was guiding her selfish mindset if not feminism?

Besides feminism blinded her kindness, if she had any. Well, she lost

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