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Modern-day dating can be extremely tricky. And by “tricky” I mean often infuriating, frustrating, and unclear.

It’s ironic that with all the texting and Facebooking and Snapchatting and oodles of other ways to send messages back and forth nowadays, never has communication felt more…non-communicative. No one’s dating anymore, they’re “hanging out.” And in the midst of all this super casual “hanging out,” signals and wires and intentions seem to have gotten crossed.

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Instead of the men pursuing the women, a lot of men seem to be sitting back waiting on the women to pursue THEM.

Now, please don’t make me launch into some diatribe about how men are natural hunters and gatherers and were born to be the initiators of relationships (because it’s true, but I don’t feel like doing the research to prove it). And please don’t misunderstand me, either. I’m not suggesting we, as women, sit around sniffing our smelling salts like Scarlett O’Hara and play the helpless female in need of a big, strong man to come and rescue us.

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That’s not my point here at all. My point is this: Men seem to have forgotten how to pursue women. And women seem to have picked up that slack by becoming the pursuers. And in my humble opinion, a relationship that begins as a result of a woman chasing a man doesn’t tend to have a happy ending. I know this because I’m 36 years old and I can say in full confidence with years of dating experience under my belt that anytime I have chased a man, the relationship has gone nowhere fast. But when I sit back and relax and stay open and receptive to the relationship without openly pursuing it, it has always, always, always worked out better. (And b-t-dubs: I consider myself a feminist. But part of being an empowered woman is knowing your heart, your time, and your company is worth being wooed and pursued.) Perhaps you have a different opinion or have had a different experience, and that’s okay. That’s why this is my blog and not yours – LOL! If you do connect with this concept, however, and if you’ve lost months or years of your life to endlessly chasing a man who always seems to stay one step ahead…here are five reasons why chasing a man is the actual worst:

It’s humiliating, exhausting, and downright bad for your self-esteem. It’s impossible to feel good about yourself if you’re willing to trade in your dignity for a pair of running shoes in order to chase after any man. And your dignity and self-esteem are never worth surrendering, for anyone or anything.

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If you have to chase him, ladies, here’s the cold, hard truth: He doesn’t want to be caught. A man who wants to be with a woman will always be running TOWARD her, not away from her.
He’s clearly not that great of a guy. Why? Because a man of character would stop dodging and evading and being shady and would sit down with you face-to-face to tell you honestly that he doesn’t want to be with you.

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He wouldn’t keep playing games with your heart or keep you hanging around as his backup plan.
You are missing out on the things and people and relationships that are meant for you by wasting all your time and energy and emotions on the things that are not. When you stop chasing the things that aren’t for you, you give the things that ARE a chance to catch up to you. But as long as you’re caught up in the drama of an on-again, off-again endless pursuit, you literally have blinders to all the amazing things already staring you right in the face.


Even if you catch him, you won’t really ever HAVE him. I’ve learned this firsthand, the hard way. You can catch someone’s body and still not capture their heart. (And no, I’m not talking about sex here.) You can have someone’s physical presence there with you and their heart can still be light years away. On the bright side, the really amazing thing that sometimes happens by catching someone you’ve been chasing after for so long is it finally opens your eyes to why God never intended for you to catch him at all. Because sometimes it takes getting everything you ever thought you wanted to fully understand it’s nothing you need, and far from what you deserve.


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I hope wherever you are in your journey today, you’ll realize that you are worth being pursued. You deserve a man who is willing to do whatever it takes to capture your heart. Take off those running shoes and give your legs and your heart a break.

Many women do this to many guys so.....

Na wuna sabi

I personally can't go after a man like chase a man or beg for his attention....nah

[color=#770077][/color]Oturugbeke

Word!
You can have his physical presence but not his heart.

What if the guy has been through a lot and is somewhat scared of making a move but you know he likes you? What do you do?

Sometimes in life things happen because you have taken the initiative. You can be the master of your own destiny sitting there hoping things will happen ....opportunities will pass you by.

MhizzAJ:
I personally can't go after a man like chase a man or beg for his attention....nah

Chasing a man and asking a man out are distinctively dissimilar. There are women who have that marked as a profession....professional men chasers

I don't think it's wrong,females are humans and I believe they get attracted to the opposite sex,but what puzzles me about some females is when they see a guy they like they don't make a move because 'men are supposed' to make the move,so what about the feelings then? because if you truly have feelings for someone you will profess it to them,this is one the reasons that make doubt LOVE.

I feel sorry for anybody that follows this advice...u will remain alone and single

It's not a lady's thing to chase a man. Maybe I'm old school (in my 30s) I can never bring myself to do that. What if he says no? Apart from that, even when we are in the relationship, I will always attach any misbehavior of his to the fact that I hunted for him. I am so used to men falling over themselves for me that I can never do that. I admit there are times we find a particular opposite sex charming, irresistible and all that but I will rather drop subtle hints than throw myself loudly in your face. Some will say it's pride but I say it's self esteem. If I drop hints and you don't catch them, then we're never meant to be.

Chasing comes in different ways.it might not be as blunt as men play theirs. But any act wooing techniques that is consistent is called CHASING.it could come in the form of:
1) constantly initiating chat
2)constantly visiting
3)buying special gift or a "special" birthday cake
4)indirectly but consistently letting him to know that you like or love him
5)displaying anger if he doesn't visit you as you visit him
6)constantly calling him
7) being exceptionally nice to his sister or mum knowing that it could increase your chances.
Note: even men have different chasing approaches

A lady might want to contend with this point but its 80% true.
Etc.

You're talking about self esteem. So the guys who ladies reject everyday have no self esteem to protect?

mcdreeezy:
You're talking about self esteem. So the guys who ladies reject everyday have no self esteem to protect?

Don't mind the blogger.... It's her opinion anyway

my babe friend dey chase me oo. No jokes

Its embarrassing. The guy will flee sef.

Chikita66:
Its embarrassing. The guy will flee sef.

Nope. On the contrary, it's always fun.

But remember to rehears and do proper stage performance before coming.

Don't gimme green light (it's boring as fvck!)... just bring on the drama.

Inugo?

Splinz:

Nope. On the contrary, it's always fun.
But remember to rehears and do proper stage performance before coming.
Don't gimme green light (it's boring as fvck!)... just bring on the drama.
Inugo?

Take a break, I'm not doing it .

Chikita66:
Take a break, I'm not doing it .

Your lost.

Op, you have given a very sound advice here. It is now left for your fish-brained fellows to take your advice. But many will not take it. They would prefer to have their hands burnt before they learn.

In most societies including ours, men are expected to be the providers for their homes, and most women still love the idea of the man providing for his family. Now, how does it look when a lady chases a man for romantic relationship It is just like begging the man thus "please see i am available for you to cater for my needs". The man would simply see you as someone begging for alms! To make matters worse, ladies who chase men would still expect the man to be financially responsible for them in the marriage. It doesn't work that way! If a lady wants to chase a man, she should be ready to not only spend on him but also cater for their family. If you are not ready to be financially responsible for him, then wait for him to come for you if he considers you good enough for him.
Ladies who fall cheaply for guys end up getting used and dumped.

Why am I even wasting my strength on this topic I know that gullible girls will continue to fall for guys cheaply and guys would not hesitate to chop and clean mouth.