Hi guys, pls help with your honest advice and opinions, my younger sister who is not too good with social media is abt to make a terrible mistake, she was married and divorced with two kids with her taking responsibility for the kids alone, fast forward to last year she met a Nigerian man who is a divorcee with two grown kids and based in London, the guy sends her money and is willing to marry her with the kids and relocate them to London but she is not really in love with him, she met this other guy who is based in Brazil and she is in love with him but he has not shown commitment to her like the London guy does, now she is abt to loose the London guy because he is making plans on coming to take a wife in Nigeria, all she knows abt the Brazilian guy who is living with a Brazilian woman and two kids is that he works with city bank, he has never sent her money yet he always profess love to her, and keeps assuring her he is coming to marry her in dec dis year, the London guy shows commitment and seriousness but she doesn’t love him and feels she will not be happy with him while the brazillian based naija guy she is in love with has not shown any commitment atal even knowing she has two kids she is taking care of, she wants to keep waiting for him but confused and scared she might end up loosing both at the end. How can she test this Brazilian guy to be sure he truely loves her and will marry her? Note she is a single parent and such opportunity are rare to come by. Pls advice her she will read it all. Thanks a lot.

I know you are the one confused, not your sister.

But, just know that It's better for a single mother to marry someone who loves her mother than she does

Go for a man who loves you more than you do, you are divorced and single today possibly because you went for a man who loved you less with no commitment.

I don't support the idea of the Brazil based Nigga living with a woman.

Prayer

Yuh sister seems to be meeting too many guys online, isn't that part of d reason y she x divorced,anyways tell her to concentrate or learn d hard way....

Headlesschicken:
Yuh sister seems to be meeting too many guys online, isn't that part of d reason y she x divorced,anyways tell her to concentrate or learn d hard way....

she is not a social media person and that was not why her marriage crashed, she she left her first marriage over emotional, physical and domestic abuse.

blackangel0403:
Hi guys, pls help with your honest advice and opinions, my younger sister who is not too good with social media is abt to make a terrible mistake, she was married and divorced with two kids with her taking responsibility for the kids alone, fast forward to last year she met a Nigerian man who is a divorcee with two grown kids and based in London, the guy sends her money and is willing to marry her with the kids and relocate them to London but she is not really in love with him, she met this other guy who is based in Brazil and she is in love with him but he has not shown commitment to her like the London guy does, now she is abt to loose the London guy because he is making plans on coming to take a wife in Nigeria, all she knows abt the Brazilian guy who is living with a Brazilian woman and two kids is that he works with city bank, he has never sent her money yet he always profess love to her, and keeps assuring her he is coming to marry her in dec dis year, the London guy shows commitment and seriousness but she doesn’t love him and feels she will not be happy with him while the brazillian based naija guy she is in love with has not shown any commitment atal even knowing she has two kids she is taking care of, she wants to keep waiting for him but confused and scared she might end up loosing both at the end. How can she test this Brazilian guy to be sure he truely loves her and will marry her? Note she is a single parent and such opportunity are rare to come by. Pls advice her she will read it all. Thanks a lot.

@OP
no matter the advice you give to your sister she will not take it because she already knows where her heart is.
As for you i will say you make her understand the consequences of her action and she should not come crying to anyone when she takes a wrong decision.
From your story the truth is clearly on her face but she wants something else.

sexy74:

@OP
no matter the advice you give to your sister she will not take it because she already knows where her heart is.
As for you i will say you make her understand the consequences of her action and she should not come crying to anyone when she takes a wrong decision.
From your story the truth is clearly on her face but she wants something else.

pls what is the right decision to take in her case? Advice us pls.

Has she actually met them in person? bc Anyone can portray themselves to be anything online.
What do you mean that the Brazillian man lives with a woman with 2 kids already?? Red flag alert.

I always say go with your heart, but when it comes to issues like these, your heart will betray you. That is why it is best to go with reason.

I repeat do not make life altering decisions based on emotion alone.

You said the Brazilian guy lives with a woman and professes love to her?
I can't seem to reconcile that.

thorpido:
You said the Brazilian guy lives with a woman and professes love to her?
I can't seem to reconcile that.

Im glad u caught that also. I had to read a second time to be sure thats what i was reading.

hiawathia1981:


Im glad u caught that also. I had to read a second time to be sure thats what i was reading.

Abi.
He's professing love and she is in love already without ever meeting him(or have they met Op)?

I think your sister(abi na you self) is lonely and is getting desperate to settle down.
It's important to be in love with who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
For me,both men do not qualify.She shouldn't make her situation worse by making a wrong choice the second time.

hiawathia1981:
Has she actually met them in person? bc Anyone can portray themselves to be anything online.
What do you mean that the Brazillian man lives with a woman with 2 kids already?? Red flag alert.

I always say go with your heart, but when it comes to issues like these, your heart will betray you. That is why it is best to go with reason.

I repeat do not make life altering decisions based on emotion alone.

she has not met him in person yet, Dey met on face book but Dey do video calls always, he has two sons with a Brazilian lady and they live together but he assured her he will leave her and move out to a new apartment he just bought then come to Nigeria by dec, marry her and take her with the kids to Brazil.

Advise her that a bird at hand is worth more than 2 in the bush. She already has someone committed to her already, what else could she possibly be looking for in a Brazilian based fellow who is not nearly as committed if not greed? You mentioned that the man is living with his Brazilian girlfriend. Is she hoping that the relationship crashes so that she can take over? If she does not love the London based man, she should quit the relationship. If she's comfortable with being a home-based side chick to a man whose intentions towards her are not clear, she should go for the Brazilian based though that will be a very big mistake.

P.S. Hope she's aware that most Nigerians based in Brazil (and southern America in general) are either fraudsters or drug traffickers? Your sister needs to take time and think this through before she makes the second biggest mistake of her life.

thorpido:
You said the Brazilian guy lives with a woman and professes love to her?
I can't seem to reconcile that.

he lives with the Brazilian woman and his kids but according to him, Dey are not married and he is not happy with the relationship hence why he wants to come and marry from Nigeria.

She should go for the London-based man, with time she'll love him more than she expected... The Brazillian woman might go wild with her, you never can tell...
Again, let her marry the London guy that is not living with any woman!

dominique:
Advise her that a bird at hand is worth more than 2 in the bush. She already has someone committed to her already, what else could she possibly be looking for in a Brazilian based fellow who is not nearly as committed if not greed? You mentioned that the man is living with his Brazilian girlfriend. Is she hoping that the relationship crashes so that she can take over? If she does not love the London based man, she should quit the relationship. If she's comfortable with being a home-based side chick to a man whose intentions towards her are not clear, she should go for the Brazilian based though that will be a very big mistake.

P.S. Hope she's aware that most Nigerians based in Brazil (and southern America in general) are either fraudsters or drug traffickers? Your sister needs to take time and think this through before she makes the second biggest mistake of her life.

the much I know is that he works city bank according to my sis but when I checked his profile, what I saw is “English teacher” but in city bank building. Am confused that is why I brought this here.

blackangel0403:
he lives with the Brazilian woman and his kids but according to him, Dey are not married and he is not happy with the relationship hence why he wants to come and marry from Nigeria.

If indeed he is not happy with the Brazilian lady,he should quit the relationship and be a free man rather than jump from one lady to another.
I think he just wants a Naija homegirl who he can keep as a mother of his kids.

blackangel0403:
the much I know is that he works city bank according to my sis but when I checked his profile, what I saw is “English teacher” but in city bank building. Am confused that is why I brought this here.

Hmmmm,what does she want,a banker or a teacher who works in a city bank building?

blackangel0403:
she has not met him in person yet, Dey met on face book but Dey do video calls always, he has two sons with a Brazilian lady and they live together but he assured her he will leave her and move out to a new apartment he just bought then come to Nigeria by dec, marry her and take her with the kids to Brazil.

I dont know to put this any other way. She is setting herself up for heartbreak and unnecessary stress.

1. He is most likely married, she really has no way to verify this as he is overseas.
2. Even if he is not, either way he has not ended things with the other lady. Even if he says he has or will, still unable to verify.
3. She will be forever be the reason why things did not work in the eyes of the children and the woman, simply bc of how things happened, so expect animosity.
4. Does she want to start her life off with someone like this. If he will do this once, he may very well do it to her in the future.
5. And the fact she knows nothing about him. But his character already speaks volumes.
Please ends things with him. A good character outweighs charm every time. I wish her the best, truly.

blackangel0403:
the much I know is that he works city bank according to my sis but when I checked his profile, what I saw is “English teacher” but in city bank building. Am confused that is why I brought this here.

That is your intuition telling you something is off. Like i said, online people can create an entire lifevand identify. I have been catfished before. Keep digging but I still say its a no go. U may very well save your sister.

My advice to her is. She should know that their is no one in Brazil. The idea of Brazil based boyfriend is zero. Left with the UK based guy. Here my advice is if she can marry someone she doesn't love because of money and assistance (training her kids) she should go ahead and remember their are lots of disadvantages to that, else i 'll finalized that she hasn't gotten any man yet. She should rather keep searching.

blackangel0403:
the much I know is that he works city bank according to my sis but when I checked his profile, what I saw is “English teacher” but in city bank building. Am confused that is why I brought this here.

You expect him to write drug trafficker in his bio? I'm not saying he's not genuine but your sister needs to be extremely careful before venturing in a relationship with an online stranger. So many women have been duped, some have been robbed, kidnap or even killed by these online lovers. If I were her I'd try to build a relationship with the London based and forget about the Brazilian based. But the way I see it, it seems your sister is an expert at choosing the wrong men. First her ex, now this Brazilian fellow. I wish her nothing but the best and hope whoever she ends up with will be in the best interest of herself and her children.

Is that all....

happy200:
My advice to her is. She should know that their is no one in Brazil. The idea of Brazil based boyfriend is zero. Left with the UK based guy. Here my advice is if she can marry someone she doesn't love because of money and assistance (training her kids) she should go ahead and remember their are lots of disadvantages to that, else i 'll finalized that she hasn't gotten any man yet. She should rather keep searching.

thanks alot

blackangel0403:
she has not met him in person yet, Dey met on face book but Dey do video calls always, he has two sons with a Brazilian lady and they live together but he assured her he will leave her and move out to a new apartment he just bought then come to Nigeria by dec, marry her and take her with the kids to Brazil.

Do you think that maybe she doesnt love the London based guy because her judgement was clouded bc of the Brazilian guy. Basically, it seems she was dating them at them at the same time which may be why she is having such a hard time bc she is comparing them. I could be wrong. What im asking is, if the Brazilian guy was out of the way would she have or could she have given the london guy a real chance

hiawathia1981:


Do you think that maybe she doesnt love the London based guy because her judgement was clouded bc of the Brazilian guy. Basically, it seems she was dating them at them at the same time which may be why she is having such a hard time bc she is comparing them. I could be wrong. What im asking is, if the Brazilian guy was out of the way would she have or could she have given the london guy a real chance

yes the Brazilian based naija guy is such a cute guy, every woman’s dream, I think she would have giving the London guy a chance if the Brazilian guy is not in the picture. Note the Brazilian woman he is married to recently celebrated 10yrs of there marriage on fb but he keeps denying that Dey are not married but just dating. He also doesn’t wear a band.

this is a tough but to crack. kinda speechless becos love comes first

blackangel0403:
pls what is the right decision to take in her case? Advice us pls.

The Brazilian guy to me is a scam, the London guy she does not like, so let her start looking for someone else she will love.

blackangel0403:
yes the Brazilian based naija guy is such a cute guy, every woman’s dream, I think she would have giving the London guy a chance if the Brazilian guy is not in the picture. Note the Brazilian woman he is married to recently celebrated 10yrs of there marriage on fb but he keeps denying that Dey are not married but just dating. He also doesn’t wear a band.

Uh huh. I see..
I think between all the posters here, there is more than enough wise counsel. I havent seen one in support of this scoundrel. I believe I can safely call him this after what u have just said.
Your intuition has told you already. The man is married and up to who what knows else business wise. Inconsistencies all over the place, between married vs not married, city bank clerk vs teacher.
At this point she cant marry the other guy either but cut things off with #1 immediately. Slow herself down and maybe give the second guy a real chance. This might take some honesty in revealing that shes not ready to dive full in with the second guy. He may understand or may be hurt.

blackangel0403:
yes the Brazilian based naija guy is such a cute guy, every woman’s dream, I think she would have giving the London guy a chance if the Brazilian guy is not in the picture. Note the Brazilian woman he is married to recently celebrated 10yrs of there marriage on fb but he keeps denying that Dey are not married but just dating. He also doesn’t wear a band.

Im glad you are being a good sister to her. She is going to need u when this all plays out

hiawathia1981:


Uh huh. I see..
I think between all the posters here, there is more than enough wise counsel. I havent seen one in support of this scoundrel. I believe I can safely call him this after what u have just said.
Your intuition has told you already. The man is married and up to who what knows else business wise. Inconsistencies all over the place, between married vs not married, city bank clerk vs teacher.
At this point she cant marry the other guy either but cut things off with #1 immediately. Slow herself down and maybe give the second guy a real chance. This might take some honesty in revealing that shes not ready to dive full in with the second guy. He may understand or may be hurt.

thanks guys, she so grateful for ur advice.

I think you already knew and at some level she did too. But sometimes we need an outsider who is just looking at the facts give us a fresh or different perspective.

She will be fine.

If this dont work, sit on her until she agrees to not contact him anymore.