What if the rod makes him meaner?

he is just an innocent boy of 2yrs and he is at the right age to question your authority,he is very normal,if you notice his response at this age to whatever instruction you give him always no,he is just doing his thing now its your turn to act as a father and correct him and stop casting the blame on the mother.
Pray for him,he needs it,the bible says train up your child in the way he should go so that when he grow up he will not depart from it.
You as the fathe has a lot of work to do,he is just 2yrs old, you have all the time to tame him and make him what you want him to be.
Cheers!

Seun:

What if the rod makes him meaner?

Then, let him go for deliverance

That young hommie is just getting his hustle on nothing do am jo. . . .  But one thing though he should be very glad that MY MOTHER didn't give birth to him, Trust me there

wont be need for this thread if he was my mum's son. . . .  I am very sure even Adolf Hitler did everything possible to make sure he avoided coming out of my mother's womb so he can fulfil

what the devil sent him to do on earth

By the way that woman is the best mother to me in the world. . . .  

@ OP,

He would be just fine, just make sure you have a firm grip on him 

take him to see a doctor,those could be early autism signs or hyperactivity

It has noting to do with AUTISM or hyperactivity. The signs described are not related to autism at all but rather the parents role of enforcing appropriate disciplinary measures and taking charge of the baby was missing and not subject to baby's reactions, actions and wants.

[]
I'm not sure smacking him all the time like his mom does will work (though they resemble in character; I don't know why she beats him even when she herself is mean and can't take corrections)
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[quote][/quote]

This is the problem,find out her infant days?

spare the rod and spoil the child. some people said he might outgrow it but bros by then it is now in him. at this age kids demonstrate who they will be in the future because they are so open and have not found out that there should be some level of facade in life so as to pass through in anything.

you have to deal with it now. making him understand that he is wrong at all times when he does anything wrong is a good start. punishing him is on the right track. but be careful with the punishment you use. dem people fit call police for u.

but if you allow this kid to grow up like this, he will think it is right to have his way always and that it is only his opinion that counts. thats bad man!

@poster


from your write up, i can deduce that instead of helping your wife to change the situation you are criticizing her efforts."you said your son is like your wife"who then do you want your son to resemble?if you love your wife, just help her.she is desperately inneed of help. the problem is too much for her that is why she beats the boy up.be a man and take care of your responsibility

Your son has his own personality to express. But you're the parent here. Disciplining your child and being his best friend is not mutually exclusive. I know parents who don't like to discipline their kids because they don't want their kids to 'stop liking' them. Unbelievable, I know. You owe it to your child to bring him up the best way you know how: All the love in the world without spoiling him or raising a total brat. You can start taking him in hand now, or you can wait till he's intractable and the 'terror' of the house.

Don't punish him when you're angry. There's a difference between discipline and taking out your anger on him to make yourself feel better. The latter is empty bullying and abuse.

Don't make a habit of shouting at your son when correcting him. He'll learn to ignore you when you're correcting him quietly and pay attention only when you're out of control and screaming like a lunatic. Not good.

Don't have adult expectations of him. Don't punish him for every little thing he does wrong. You make mistakes yourself and you're grown up. He's a kid, let him be a kid. But if he does something really bad, let him understand what he just did is bad. Tell him if there's a repeat performance there will be consequences. If he repeats it or persists, kick his ass.

the 'terrible two' aint life a rollercoaster

Wait till he is three, when everything is NO

U blame him, that is all he has heard in the first couple of years of his life

On a much lighter note, they aint like that forever - we turned out alright

triistar86:

That young hommie is just getting his hustle on nothing do am jo. . . . But one thing though he should be very glad that MY MOTHER didn't give birth to him, Trust me there

wont be need for this thread if he was my mum's son. . . . I am very sure even Adolf Hitler did everything possible to make sure he avoided coming out of my mother's womb so he can fulfil

what the devil sent him to do on earth

By the way that woman is the best mother to me in the world. . . .

@ OP,

He would be just fine, just make sure you have a firm grip on him

I guess you are talking about my mom.
I remembered stoning a friend when I was toddler simply because he said I can't do it.
He went crying to his mother with blood all over him. I was asked why I stoned him.
And my little self said 'because he said I can't, so to show him that I can, I stoned him'

You don't want to hear the remaining part of the story. And I cannot remember repeating the same all through again.
If she had ran to nairaland for advise, maybe I would have push another kid to up coming car.

What I am saying is that, many of us who demonstrated this madness during our early stage never outgrew it by our doings.
An Iron hands somewhere beat the madness out of us.
As a father, you are his coach. A coach tells you what to do and you obey. If you continue to negotiate with him you are failing in your responsibilities.

This is a wonderful teacher for me as a single father of a 2yr old boy, we live together and he will be 3 by october
Its like my everyday life at home is being played back on this tread like a movie and i am like wow,
at time's i get so angry i just go out for a walk leaving him alone{but not far} and when i get back inside, he comes to me saying "DADDY, HOW ARE YOU? i just tell him am not fine because you got me angry, he either says sorry or just withdraws with a sad look, so mission accomplished.
You need to see war last december when i took him out for Christmas, he wants everything thats wrapped, even a car thats up for grabs for MTN PROMOTION,  2 is a wonderful number indeed lol,
I have also taught him to say good morning every morning, and I LOVE YOU DADDY every night and a good night hug and kiss before he sleeps at 7.30 pm,
He gets stubborn at times though with the bed time schedule, but once i looked at him with this straight face and shouted DAVID FLIP! {flip is his own way of saying SLEEP} he falls down right there and FLIPS anywhere he is, till i carry him into the bedroom,
Its just a wonderful experience and thanks for the Thread for teaching me more,

Ive been reading the replies and I must say I have had a good laugh! All those saying they should " leave the boy jor", dont have to live with him,do they? But I dont envy you my brother.  However the thing is that he is your son.  You cant throw him away so you have to either sink or swim together.

I have a friend who has a son with similar traits and what she did was to ban the watching of DSTV's Africa Magic in the house! It may sound funny but was one of the only times the little boy sat still to watch with rapt attention was when they are showing homevideos or Africa magic.  Immediately it is over he will start exhibiting all the aggressive, 'Nzebu-zebu' behaviour he sees there! So now the TV is permanently on BBC's CeeBees! Its annoying in that when he is there no one can watch anything else but if it makes the house much calmer the better for everyone. The good thing is that he now hugs everyone like Oyinbo, and sings their songs and speaks fone like the instructors in the CeeBees programmes! lol Barney too is a great hit as well as other nice kiddie programmes. Please absolutely no violent films even cartoons! e.g do you know for a child Tom and Jerry is violent? It may sound funny but have you noticed how they always try to kill each other and everyone is laughing? To the child that is a reality! Its seems like fun.  It is we adults that know its a joke. He does not. Remember he is two.
Another thing is that you need to teach him social graces; How to relate with other people in society and be acceptable e.g: saying 'thank you' after collecting something, saying 'please', adding 'Aunty' or 'Uncle' after older people's names etc. They cant just learn it. You have to teach them. e.g when you want to give him biscuit or something and he comes and snatches it or brings his hand to take it you say, "Say thank you, Daddy" he will repeat it. Next time he tries to collect again, you ask, "what do you say?" he will answer "thank you" and when he does that, you praise him by saying 'Good boy!" Dami is a good boy! etc. I tell you he will want to hear more praise and recieve more hugs from you!
Another thing is reduce if possible eliminate his sugar intake! Sugar gives energy and makes you upbeat and hyper, especially Coke and caffeine. If you must/ want to sweeten anything use honey. Also some biscuits are very sweet so you have to note them.
Most important you have to let him know you are the boss! Children like to see how far they can go with you but you have to let them know they can only go so far and that there are consequences for actions.  If he does that, this is the result.  Create a routine for him and stop leaving him running wild and doing whatever he likes. He will cry and try to resist but secretly he will admire and respect you. That is the way of life and you are preparing him to face life in the world, yes even at two! He is not too small. Just make sure the consequencies are commensurate with some one of his age. So I wish you the best.  Dont worry,God will give you the grace.  You have just the first 8yrs to really influence a child so make sure you catch him while he is still young> All the best!

this is the age when NO is the fav word (one syllable easy to learn) he will outgrow it and sometimes he needs more attention and discipline. If it continues into 5-6 yrs he may be suffering frm ADHD and you may need to see a doc for proper diagnosis.

One thing I noticed, boys are generally harder to raise than girls, especially under 12s.

@ Poster!

It's important to continue to discsipline your son, but I don't think you have much to worry about him! Boys can be stubborn or what you call mean at that age!

When I was barely 2 months old, my elder brother who was 2 at that time set my crib on fire just to get back at me for taking all the attention. Today he's my best friend in the house!

It's pretty cut and dry for them at that age, get what you want AT ALL COSTS. I bet he'll outgrow it if you keep guiding him in the right part!

When I was barely 2 months old, my elder brother who was 2 at that time set my crib on fire just to get back at me for taking all the attention. Today he's my best friend in the house!

Ok, so if you had died, and your parents house had been burnt down, we can assume it is all ok because "Boys can be stubborn" or "what you call mean at that age" ? Right?

Romeo4real:

Ok, so if you had died, and your parents house had been burnt down, we can assume it is all ok because "Boys can be stubborn" or "what you call mean at that age" ? Right?

Surely you don't expect a 2-year old boy to know the gravity of such actions, do you?

Even grown-ups do things without the initial intention of hurting people which ends up turning out badly!

where did your wife get the boy form?, under the banana tree?

@ poster
Don't worry, its just a matter of time he will definitely outgrow it.
But i nearly laugh myself to something when u were describing the boy's character.
But nevertheless, he will surely come to order especially when he will meet someone that's worse than he is at school.

Surely you don't expect a 2-year old boy to know the gravity of such actions, do you?

Of course not, but the parents do, so to laugh it off as "boys will be boys" or "boys are stubborn" is just plain irresponsible.

What is shocking is that majority of the advice here is that the boy "will grow out of it". Yes, children will "grow" out of things like kicking, spitting, hitting, setting fire to cots, etc,  but unless parents proactively intervene to arrest the actual behavioral patterns that underpins these activities - things like selfishness, maliciousness, vindictiveness, insecurity, envy, and jealousy, these kids will grow up to into spoilt, selfish, insecure and vainglorious adults, with an inflated sense of their own self importance. They will subsequently have difficulties in their adult relationships, without understanding that the seed for their behaviour was sown in their childhood. Look around you, i am sure you know quite a few adults like this.

Romeo4real:

Of course not, but the parents do, so to laugh it off as "boys will be boys" or "boys are stubborn" is just plain irresponsible.

What is shocking is that majority of the advice here is that the boy "will grow out of it". Yes, children will "grow" out of things like kicking, spitting, hitting, setting fire to cots, etc, but unless parents proactively intervene to arrest the actual behavioral patterns that underpins these activities - things like selfishness, maliciousness, vindictiveness, insecurity, envy, and jealousy, these kids will grow up to into spoilt, selfish, insecure and vainglorious adults, with an inflated sense of their own self importance. They will subsequently have difficulties in their adult relationships, without understanding that the seed for their behaviour was sown in their childhood. Look around you, i am sure you know quite a few adults like this.

Nobody is telling her to encourage and ignore his tantrums! OF course she needs to discipline him and teach him from time to time, but ti is surely not a cause for alarm. It's quiet normal at his age and with good upbringing, he'll definitely outgrow it!

Looks like you don't punish him.

Cause why won't he obey you?

It's quiet normal at his  age

But it is NOT! I assure you.
Nigerian parenting skills are reactive rather than proactive. It is wholly based on correction after the event, shouting, smacking and creating fear.

I have already outlined what the parent has been doing wrong to get the boy to this stage. Just because a lot of posters can identify with this situation; whether as themselves, or with their kids does not make it "normal". I have two kids, and none of them were remotely similar to this boy at the same age.

My youngest bro,was worse,we beat,scolded etc

but as he grew older he became almost like an angel,some kids are like dt

and dnt let ppl decieve u that your son has a condition

@ poster

this your childs story is not entirely out of place. it is usually in children of that age.bt never get tired of trying to correct him. do your best . because you have to train a child in the way he should go and when he grows he will not depart from it.
you will not believe it bt when i was little i was quite to a fault. to the exetent that my younger ones bullied me. it was really that bad. i was so shy people still cannot believe wat i have turned to. do not be surprised that your son will be so calm when he grows up.

Hmm, to be on the safe side, I think you should follow Labella's advice. ADHD isnt so strange if you read about children and problems in behavior. It is unwise to just shrug it off that boys are boys and allow your son and all the people around him suffer needlessly. Attention Deficiency is a real problem and should be treated as malaria is treated.

check out this link for more on children and parenting:http://www.nigerianparentsforum.com

In USA, we call parents, who have children that run them, PUNK PARENTS, and it clearly that it a lot of related PUNK PARENTING GOING ON, you will be sleeping with one eye open when he gets older,

@ poster

send ur email addrs to switosman@hotmail.com and I will send u a free e-book on how to handle such hyperactive kids. ciao.

Topic has been blowned out of proportion , my son is not that bad!!! I'm only saying he does this things daring at times. And I understand he's a kid but quite daring. He's just a little daring than his older brother that goes by instruction word for word all by the book.

Dont touch it! He'll dare you and touch! He knows the consequences though and he's getting better. And I'm working on him. He's not that bad only that I was comparing him to his older brother. I didn't know this topic will make it to head liine and now people come to talk about spiritual shitt and giving my son depressant drugs!! My father never did non of that to me or my siblings.

I've seen good advices and bad ones. I'm an adult and I know which of the advices will work for the situation. But I thank you all for contribution.

By the way what time will a 2years old stop waking up in the middle of the night and knocking your bedroom door like 'My daddy, my daddy, my mummy, then comes to sleep on your bed (his best position between the husband and wife).

And @one of the poster. Yeah my kids go to school with the school bus is that bad? I can't combine work and everything have to take them to school and pick them up. I'm not that rich to have a driver do that.

And true talk I'm trying to ban African Magic in my house I think I should use the password thing on the decoder. I don't like it and don't want my kids growing with that mentality of juju and unnecessary spiritual myths they show in those station.

Thanks everyone though, I was just wondering if other people have daring kids like mine.

tEsLim:

Topic has been blowned out of proportion , my son is not that bad!!! I'm only saying he does this things daring at times. And I understand he's a kid but quite daring. He's just a little daring than his older brother that goes by instruction word for word all by the book.

Dont touch it! He'll dare you and touch! He knows the consequences though and he's getting better. And I'm working on him. He's not that bad only that I was comparing him to his older brother. I didn't know this topic will make it to head liine and now people come to talk about spiritual shitt and giving my son depressant drugs!! My father never did non of that to me or my siblings.

I've seen good advices and bad ones. I'm an adult and I know which of the advices will work for the situation. But I thank you all for contribution.

By the way what time will a 2years old stop waking up in the middle of the night and knocking your bedroom door like 'My daddy, my daddy, my mummy, then comes to sleep on your bed (his best position between the husband and wife).

And @one of the poster. Yeah my kids go to school with the school bus is that bad? I can't combine work and everything have to take them to school and pick them up. I'm not that rich to have a driver do that.

And true talk I'm trying to ban African Magic in my house I think I should use the password thing on the decoder. I don't like it and don't want my kids growing with that mentality of juju and unnecessary spiritual myths they show in those station.

Thanks everyone though, I was just wondering if other people have daring kids like mine.

Attach him with your older son. Kids like copying each other. As for sleeping in between, he will stop it soon.

Good luck and may God keep him for you.