My girl and i have dated for almost four years. We love each other but she has this male friend am not comfortable with. I have spoken out about this problem since year one and uptil now the problem still linger.

People have told me am just been jealous and i do agree with that but what i still don't understand is why she is finding it hard to deal with the issue.

Need i mention that earlier she was using some of my female friends to justify her action and now for a long time now i have dealt with my own side of the problem yet hers is still unresolved. Lately it has been the major friction in our relationship.

Its not like i feel they are dating but am nt comfortable with their friend.

Am beginning to ask if am just being unreasonable with my demands.

Have you cheated on her? Yes or no

Bros you're being reasonable

NO i havn't

dingbang:
Have you cheated on her? Yes or no

Make the bold move, tell her to choose between you and the friend

Hope you are planning to marry her before you start to decide on her choice of friends

You are not being unreasonable. You are supposed to be her best friend, she shouldn't chose any man over you. If it makes you uncomfortable she suppose reason with you, if the role is reversed you will be begin her to accept you back right now. 4 years is enough time to know what you want and same for her.

P.S. I dont believe in opposite sex besties

Dated the same girl for 8 years whom had all these good male friends. Got into her things one day and found her diary, she wrote all the men she has screwed and behold most of them are people I know, people she said were just friends. And this was after we started dating telling by the time she got close with these people so.

Trust me if she isn't leaving that guy because of you there is a chance she loves him more than she does you.

Yes i do intend marrying her!

ITbomb:
Make the bold move, tell her to choose between you and the friend

Hope you are planning to marry her before you start to decide on her choice of friends

Exactly my point! We actually attend same church with the guy painful enough some thing about her i get to hear it from him

SawOnPedia:
You are not being unreasonable. You are supposed to be her best friend, she shouldn't chose any man over you. If it makes you uncomfortable she suppose reason with you, if the role is reversed you will be begin her to accept you back right now.

dude, forget that bullshit "bestie" rubbish... talking from experience, my ex was always like, he's just a friend, he knows about our relationship, bla bla bla.. later got to know they were in a serious romance and even fucking each other....am talking of just early April this year. our relationship would have been 4years in May... so brother, be wise. never trust a woman.... if not when u discover the truth, what u gonna bbe hearing is, am sorry, its a mistake, I don't know how it happened, bla bla bla rubbish. FEARWOMEN

U too have female friends.. But u dont want her to have a male friend?..

U dont trust that guy that's why u are bit uncomfy with their relationship sha or U DON'T TRUST HER

Juz let her do her things co the more u will force her, the more she will resist..

eneojoedu:
dude, forget that bullshit "bestie" rubbish... talking from experience, my ex was always like, he's just a friend, he knows about our relationship, bla bla bla.. later got to know they were in a serious romance and even fucking each other....am talking of just early April this year. our relationship would have been 4years in May... so brother, be wise. never trust a woman.... if not when u discover the truth, what u gonna bbe hearing is, am sorry, its a mistake, I don't know how it happened, bla bla bla rubbish. FEARWOMEN

Jezzzu

I had female friends but when they where becoming a problem i drew the line.

QueenSuccubus:



U too have female friends.. But u dont want her to have a male friend?..

U dont trust that guy that's why u are bit uncomfy with their relationship sha or U DON'T TRUST HER

Juz let her do her things co the more u will force her, the more she will resist..

lawrenzooo:
I had female friends but when they where becoming a problem i drew the line.

Well, maybe that's not what she see as well..

As long u keep friends (opposite sex), there will always be a problem between u 2.

OP you need sit her down and tell her to choose between you and the male friend if you have done away with your own female friends cause of the relationship.
By the way I don't subscribe to a person having a very close friend of the opposite gender when in a relationship cause most times they go beyond friends

My female friends have all given me the space our relationship require. Why is difficult for her is what i dont understant.

QueenSuccubus:



Well, maybe that's not what see as well..

As long u keep friends (opposite sex), there will always be a problem between u 2.

BRO U ARE REASONABLE O B4 IT HAPPENS N DEY WILL SAY U LEFT HER UNGUARDED

Have sat down with her the last time we had an issue. I ended the relationship and she said i should give her one more opportunity. After that she said she told the quy he was causing friction in her relationship. She came back telling me she had drawn the line. But what am seeing lately portray a different picture and when i spoke to her about it she said she has drawn the line. Its just that i have not started seeing it

QueenSuccubus:



Well, maybe that's not what see as well..

As long u keep friends (opposite sex), there will always be a problem between u 2.

lawrenzooo:
My female friends have all given me the space our relationship require. Why is difficult for her is what i dont understant.

Women in nature are COMPLICATED sha..

As what i said earlier, the more u force her, the more she will resist .. Juz let her do her thing & u do the same.. She will go against ur will once u keep forcing her.

I will not allow such wit my gf.
Experience has taught me never to allow any man close to my woman.
It is not a matter of trust at all so u r bn very very reasonable here

QueenSuccubus:



Women in nature are COMPLICATED sha..

As what i said earlier, the more u force her, the more she will resist .. Juz let her do her thing & u do the same.. She will go against ur will once u keep forcing her.

I forbid my daughter have a role model like you.

lawrenzooo:
Have sat down with her the last time we had an issue. I ended the relationship and she said i should give her one more opportunity. After that she said she told the quy he was causing friction in her relationship. She came back telling me she had drawn the line. But what am seeing lately portray a different picture and when i spoke to her about it she said she has drawn the line. Its just that i have not started seeing it

Broh,,, just like someone commented up there,, tell her to chose between you or the guy...


They may be having an innocent relationship now buh there is every possibility it will turn dirty someday,, especially when things go south between you and her,, she will take the sadness and worries to the guy and from there ...........


We are not perfect and sometimes shit happens...Posting from experience..

Make some reasonable money and watch that problem vanish.... Trust me it works...

lawrenzooo, lol Aunty obviously been collecting knacks, and you are here asking if you being reaonable...

Smh 4 years you said LMAO

But why must bobos learn the hard way, Learn from people's mistakes na.

Can you provide more details dear? All I know is that she has a male friend you're uncomfortable with. What about him makes you uncomfortable? Were they in a relationship together previously? Do they behave inappropriately with each other? Does he overstep boundaries? Did she know him before you? Etc. Or is he a friend of hers who's genuinely respectful of her relationship with you, but just happens to be male, and you're just jealous?

You said she used your female friends to justify her actions and you dealt with your own side of the problem, what exactly did you do to 'deal' with it? These extra details will help create a more clear cut picture, cheers

I am conflicted with this as I have two very good friends both Male and I have known these guys all my life. That said I have to compromise not that it has ever reached that stage but should the person I am with express his objections it has to be something that is discussed openly as I am not keen to feed insecurities.
With friendship there are boundaries be it Male or female.
How much do you actually know about this guy? Have you tried to know him that way you can have an informed view of him as a person? Does he even know this is how you feel? You admit that part of this is also due to your feelings of inadequacy as she ever given you reason to doubt her fidelity?


What I disagree with is making someone choose that’s a threat if you start these habits like this in the dating phase what will it be like as a married couple? You should have not yielded and got rid of your female friends especially if there was nothing to hide.

lawrenzooo:
My girl and i have dated for almost four years. We love each other but she has this male friend am not comfortable with. I have spoken out about this problem since year one and uptil now the problem still linger.

People have told me am just been jealous and i do agree with that but what i still don't understand is why she is finding it hard to deal with the issue.

Need i mention that earlier she was using some of my female friends to justify her action and now for a long time now i have dealt with my own side of the problem yet hers is still unresolved. Lately it has been the major friction in our relationship.

Its not like i feel they are dating but am nt comfortable with their friend.

Am beginning to ask if am just being unreasonable with my demands.

She's screwing him . Don't fall for that bestie nonsense its old.

I meet them together as friends. She claim they really have never been in a relationship. she once told me her elder sister once accused her of dating the guy and bla bla bla which she said was not true. In a way the said guy seem to respect our relationship.

About my female friends. I had two particular one's that was so close as well. Each time we had a fight with my girl i call either of them for a meet up and before you know after chatting with them for a while i forget my problem. She started complaining about how often i visit them and because i had people to talk to and feel good each time we fought and also meant i could go todays or more without making effort to resolve our problem. When it was becoming an issue i had to reduce the meet up with my female friends. when they call i tell them am a little busy and with time to got use to their busy friend and that was how the line was drawn with my own female friends.

ibkayee:
Can you provide more details dear? All I know is that she has a male friend you're uncomfortable with. What about him makes you uncomfortable? Were they in a relationship together previously? Do they behave inappropriately with each other? Does he overstep boundaries? Did she know him before you? Etc. Or is he a friend of hers who's genuinely respectful of her relationship with you, but just happens to be male, and you're just jealous?

You said she used your female friends to justify her actions and you dealt with your own side of the problem, what exactly did you do to 'deal' with it? These extra details will help create a more clear cut picture, cheers

He is someone I know and i really have not discussed it with him. though she said he has spoken with him about it. She has not given me reason to doubt her yet but i then the fact that she is finding it hard to deal with is beginning to make me worried.

MissRaine69:
I am conflicted with this as I have two very good friends both Male and I have known these guys all my life. That said I have to compromise not that it has ever reached that stage but should the person I am with express his objections it has to be something that is discussed openly as I am not keen to feed insecurities.
With friendship there are boundaries be it Male or female.
How much do you actually know about this guy? Have you tried to know him that way you can have an informed view of him as a person? Does he even know this is how you feel? You admit that part of this is also due to your feelings of inadequacy as she ever given you reason to doubt her fidelity?


What I disagree with is making someone choose that’s a threat if you start these habits like this in the dating phase what will it be like as a married couple? You should have not yielded and got rid of your female friends especially if there was nothing to hide.

lol....she is stylishly banging her bestie..and you are here winning like a kid!!!

Well talking about threat she had ones told me to pick between her and a female friend of mine!!!

MissRaine69:
I am conflicted with this as I have two very good friends both Male and I have known these guys all my life. That said I have to compromise not that it has ever reached that stage but should the person I am with express his objections it has to be something that is discussed openly as I am not keen to feed insecurities.
With friendship there are boundaries be it Male or female.
How much do you actually know about this guy? Have you tried to know him that way you can have an informed view of him as a person? Does he even know this is how you feel? You admit that part of this is also due to your feelings of inadequacy as she ever given you reason to doubt her fidelity?


What I disagree with is making someone choose that’s a threat if you start these habits like this in the dating phase what will it be like as a married couple? You should have not yielded and got rid of your female friends especially if there was nothing to hide.

The truth is the guy is banging your babe

As for me I can't be comfortable if my guy has a bestie lai lai... Them go dey bang dey tell me nonsense

I can't share my guy or hubby with anyone

You have to devote your time more i hustling and becoming successful financially. Once that happens, you won't need to worry about her again, she will be the one trying everything possible not to loose you... I'm telling you this from experience.