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I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by SheikhMuniru(m): 11:37am On Jun 25, 2018
SORRY IS MASTURBATING PART OF DEVOTED CHRISTIANITY LIFE?
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by ilyasom(m): 11:41am On Jun 25, 2018
everything you mentioned above are effects of long term masturbation. i can help you quit it if you contact me. Go to reddit and search for nofap forum. its a forum designed to help ppl struggling with the addiction. send me a message on my email ilyasomeiza@yahoo.com.
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Nobody: 11:43am On Jun 25, 2018
shocked


Yeye dey smell


You dey masturbate, dey receive head, you dey suck breast join, you dey kiss,... Wow... And you come dey fear to do the thing, lol... Who are you deceiving nigga?


Abi you think say if you lash the babe, God no go forgive you?


Over conscious Christian


No go fvck dey there, make konji kill you


Whether you lash the babe or Not, that won't determine if you are sinner or not, its our deeds.


,konji na bastard

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by holluphemydavid(m): 11:45am On Jun 25, 2018
D solution to ur problem is for u to get married, Dat will help u to overcome masturbatio, den u will tank me later

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by enemachris(m): 11:50am On Jun 25, 2018
Flamezzz:
A virgin masturbating because you believe that sex is for married people but masturbation is for single niggas right? undecided
Na Archbishop go cure your craze
grin grin grin
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Ascony(m): 11:50am On Jun 25, 2018
do u actually believe that masturbation is a lesser sin than real sex?
cos i dont see any reason why u masturbate and still deprive yourself of real intercourse with a woman.
you are already 'sinning' so why not sin proudly
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by banre(m): 11:51am On Jun 25, 2018
thread gone wrong
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by scotweezy(m): 11:55am On Jun 25, 2018
912:
There are two main causes of your issue:

1) too much masturbation: this has seriously affected your sex drive and it's leading to erectile dysfunction

2) Your believe that you are a "good christian" and that what you are doing with her is evil. The guilt that your subconscious mind registers each time she performs MouthAction on you is also affecting the ability of your body to respond properly.


Solutions:
1) get a good testosterone enhancing supplements. I assure you if you take them for one or two months it's your girlfriend that will run with the kind of erection that you will be having.

2) stop masturbation. Although I know this one is very difficult for someone who is addicted to it but you have to stop it. Or you limit it to a maximum of twice or once a week. This will help you recover from the erectile dysfunction and help your body build up hormones.

3) stop the horseplay with your girlfriend. at least this will save you the embarrassment you are feeling now. You can make up a story that now you have truly given your life and want to stop being a fake christian cheesy. You may end up loosing her if you do this though grin
This is arguably one of the best replies on this thread. Not some hypocritical hogwash typed and sent in a hurry.

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Nobody: 11:59am On Jun 25, 2018
Avedonn:


You don't believe in sex before marriage, but you romance your girlfriend, she carry out BJ on you, you even checked her vj to confirm it's authenticity.

So what makes you different from those that engage in premarital sex.
[b]
In my opinion they are even better than you because they are sinning and also enjoying but in your case, you are sinning and still torturing yourself by constantly checking the cover of your girlfriend's VJ whether is open or sealed. [/b]If it's sealed, you'd then nod your head and close it back while salivating.
Father Lord!!
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Moboj: 12:13pm On Jun 25, 2018
Nairaland members are worse than sidechicks,they break homes and relationship with crazy judgments grin ;Dpeople already saying leave her alone,Op Biko go and meet mad man,he'd have possibilities amidst his jagonz grin grin

2 Likes

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Moboj: 12:15pm On Jun 25, 2018
Kilagbe kileju
People already administering virginity tests and status for op and his chic grin grin
There is God o cry
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 12:19pm On Jun 25, 2018
Moboj:
Nairaland members are worse than sidechicks,they break homes and relationship with crazy judgments grin ;Dpeople already saying leave her alone,Op Biko go and meet mad man,he'd have possibilities amidst his jagonz grin grin

Lol. I needed the beating to get my head back on track. I know I've messed up big time, so I'm not overly surprised by the responses I'm receiving. And I know what it's like on nairaland, ur cry for help is ignored in favor of a display of self righteousness by many, but you'd still find a few good advice. These are the ones I seek. I'd have spoken to someone close but it's rather very shameful and I'm not sure who I'd tell that won't judge me. This is safer... and honestly, I've gotten some useful advice here.

3 Likes

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 12:22pm On Jun 25, 2018
ilyasom:
everything you mentioned above are effects of long term masturbation. i can help you quit it if you contact me. Go to reddit and search for nofap forum. its a forum designed to help ppl struggling with the addiction. send me a message on my email ilyasomeiza@yahoo.com.

Sent you a PM sir

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Nobody: 12:22pm On Jun 25, 2018
1
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 12:23pm On Jun 25, 2018
Ascony:
do u actually believe that masturbation is a lesser sin than real sex?
cos i dont see any reason why u masturbate and still deprive yourself of real intercourse with a woman.
you are already 'sinning' so why not sin proudly

No, it isn't. I'm fighting to get out of it, why take another step of no return?

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by MOHE: 12:24pm On Jun 25, 2018
Confiman:


Look, I know it's hypocritical to condemn sex before marriage and at the same time practice masturbation. I really do. I intended creating a thread for that practise but I thought to deal with this first. Note that it's not every thing that becomes a habit that is appreciated. Trust me, I've tried many times to stop that, I just haven't been able to.

If you do have anything to say about the opening post then that will be appreciated.

I'm not sure you really know what you want. You claimed you are a devoted Christian...what's your definition? My counsels
1. You need to get serious with God.
2.Submit yourself to a Spirit filled mentor
3. Breakup that relationship tactfully
4. ...
For further help, dm me
All the best in your pursuit of a clean conscience.
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Nobody: 12:26pm On Jun 25, 2018
Confiman:
Please this might be a little lengthy but bear with me, everything here is needed to get the story out and ask my questions. Thank you.

This will go down as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and I'm deeply confused. But before I go on, I'd love a quick intro.

I just created this moniker to chronicle all of my confusions and to feel free asking for help without any of my friends here tracing them to me. I'm 22 and a serving Corp member. I'm a hustler and I can say I'm doing fairly well for a Corp member.

I am still a "virgin" iff that term can be loosely applied to someone who masturbates. I'm deeply disturbed by my masturbation, but that is not the purpose of this thread.

I recently met a girl - also a Corp member - whom I'm really, really fond of. However, I strongly believe that sex is for marriage (I'm a devoted Christian) and so I have always stayed away from it. With this girl tho, we get frisky a lot. I shared my first kiss with her, and we've since gotten more intimate than I'm usually comfortable with. Sadly, that doesn't help my desire to stop masturbation as I always do that after making out with her. When doing so, I imagine all we had done and it gets me off.

However, this is where it gets embarrassing. When making out with her she sometimes gives me a head. Despite all of her efforts tho (and she is sincerely really good), I can't get myself to remain aroused. No, my hands don't give me half the sensations I get from her mouth, but it still doesn't matter as I just can't remain aroused enough to get off as is the case when I'm by myself.

Today was the very worst as I kept shrinking rather than edging towards release. It angers her cos she believes I don't want her, or how else does she explain it? She feels if I wanted her as much as she wanted me that it would be different. I know my conscience pricks me while we're at it but I don't know if that is the cause. She says I think too much about it... but I can't help the thoughts. Now I'm torn.

I need to know just two things:
1. Is it my 'plenty thinking' that's hindering me when with her? I've already put away most of my inhibitions to get that far with her, but I can't seem to go further. And I don't really think I want to.
2. How can I tell her to take away the sexual edge of the relationship without coming across as offensive, and without confirming her belief that I don't want her?

P.S: Before you begin bashing the lady, note that she is also a virgin. Her vagina is still very much sealed. I doubted that at first, but I've seen it and... So I know. I don't want to lose her but I don't want to go so far either...

first of all

I will invite Archbishop Idowu faeron to pray for u

masturbating virgin.....
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Nobody: 12:30pm On Jun 25, 2018
there is a simple explanation to that

firstly the OP is not telling the truth...

u are with a woman and failing haba.....even with her advances...kai...what do u mean...

Is either u are gay...very simple.
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by specimen23(m): 12:40pm On Jun 25, 2018
Reading the op story is quite sad. However, I will point out some things below you should consider.
1) if you watch porn or look at pictures of women online, you need to stop that immediately. Masturbation as a habit does not start just on its own, there are some triggers that you need to identify. One of them may be videos or pictures of sexy women, or even being alone.
2) you may need to have an honest conversation with your girlfriend about this habit. That way, she can be a partner in helping you overcome it. It's not a good idea for the two of you to continue smooching. I m not saying smooching is a sin,rather you need to get your whole psyche about women, relationship and sex correctly programmed before you have any meaningful relationship.
3) talk to someone who is mature, and won't judge you. Sometimes we need people to be accountable to, in order to get out of certain habits.
4) if there is no one around you, please send me a pm. I find a way to get some materials across to you that will help you in this cause.
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Moboj: 12:40pm On Jun 25, 2018
Confiman:


Lol. I needed the beating to get my head back on track. I know I've messed up big time, so I'm not overly surprised by the responses I'm receiving. And I know what it's like on nairaland, ur cry for help is ignored in favor of a display of self righteousness by many, but you'd still find a few good advice. These are the ones I seek. I'd have spoken to someone close but it's rather very shameful and I'm not sure who I'd tell that won't judge me. This is safer... and honestly, I've gotten some useful advice here.
I understand your plight and I'm sure there are other people here that do too but won't say anything cause of fear of being trolled or judged somehow

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by GoodMuyis(m): 12:49pm On Jun 25, 2018
Confiman:


I'm not sure I understand you sir. I haven't said I intend marrying her, I believe time will have to tell. I just don't want to continue doing anything stupid before marriage.

No, I'm not in the born again crew. I believe every one is free to make a decision about how they want to live. I don't berate others for not holding on to the same principles as me. If you engaged me in a discussion, you'd hardly know I don't believe in sex before marriage, cos I love my discussions clean without any holier than thou whatever... In fact, the few that hear my stand doubt it's sincerity, that's how free I am. But my fear is that I don't wanna lose my values, values I've held on to for so long... Yet, I don't wanna break her

Yes, I agree I'm a very emotional person. But I'm not sure how it applies here?

Jesus make it clear to Nicodemus in John3:3 and Luke 13:3&5
(John 3:3 [KJV])
Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

(Luke 13:5 [KJV])
I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.


If you are heavenly minded Christian, your utmost desire will be to overcome your besetting sin which is Masturbation, not adding unholy relationship. If the Girl will not be an Heaven-ward companion, cut her off, it is better to enter God's kingdom being single. The girl is not a girlfriend but sin partner. Warning: She might ruin your future

What you need not is Repentance: Which is define as Turning away from the sins you love and the sins you hate. You cannot desire to please God and still wanted to enjoy pleasure of sin.

2 Likes

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Mechanics96(m): 12:57pm On Jun 25, 2018
Let's not act like we're saints. This guy must have regretted his habit of masturbation, he needs help!
You know what I think Give it time! Putting yourself under the pressure of getting arouse won't help. Stay away from masturbation for 3months and do not attempt sexual intercourse with her either. The thing is u need to allow ur body get used to something other than what it's used to!
This is only to save u from impotency, not to encourage pre-marital sex, go and get married.

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by musa7m(m): 1:01pm On Jun 25, 2018
phyllistas:
Mm does this thing of no sex before marriage still exist undecided?
thats mean dem don yash you be that
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by updatechange(m): 1:07pm On Jun 25, 2018
Confiman:
Please this might be a little lengthy but bear with me, everything here is needed to get the story out and ask my questions. Thank you.

This will go down as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and I'm deeply confused. But before I go on, I'd love a quick intro.

I just created this moniker to chronicle all of my confusions and to feel free asking for help without any of my friends here tracing them to me. I'm 22 and a serving Corp member. I'm a hustler and I can say I'm doing fairly well for a Corp member.

I am still a "virgin" iff that term can be loosely applied to someone who masturbates. I'm deeply disturbed by my masturbation, but that is not the purpose of this thread.

I recently met a girl - also a Corp member - whom I'm really, really fond of. However, I strongly believe that sex is for marriage (I'm a devoted Christian) and so I have always stayed away from it. With this girl tho, we get frisky a lot. I shared my first kiss with her, and we've since gotten more intimate than I'm usually comfortable with. Sadly, that doesn't help my desire to stop masturbation as I always do that after making out with her. When doing so, I imagine all we had done and it gets me off.

However, this is where it gets embarrassing. When making out with her she sometimes gives me a head. Despite all of her efforts tho (and she is sincerely really good), I can't get myself to remain aroused. No, my hands don't give me half the sensations I get from her mouth, but it still doesn't matter as I just can't remain aroused enough to get off as is the case when I'm by myself.

Today was the very worst as I kept shrinking rather than edging towards release. It angers her cos she believes I don't want her, or how else does she explain it? She feels if I wanted her as much as she wanted me that it would be different. I know my conscience pricks me while we're at it but I don't know if that is the cause. She says I think too much about it... but I can't help the thoughts. Now I'm torn.

I need to know just two things:
1. Is it my 'plenty thinking' that's hindering me when with her? I've already put away most of my inhibitions to get that far with her, but I can't seem to go further. And I don't really think I want to.
2. How can I tell her to take away the sexual edge of the relationship without coming across as offensive, and without confirming her belief that I don't want her?

P.S: Before you begin bashing the lady, note that she is also a virgin. Her vagina is still very much sealed. I doubted that at first, but I've seen it and... So I know. I don't want to lose her but I don't want to go so far either...


Lemme help u, buy 50 naira super glue and pour it on your hands anytime the urge for masturbation comes.. the rough friction will not allow ur dick to even rise.
Follow this step and thank me later
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Sadiyaene(f): 1:11pm On Jun 25, 2018
Me myself I be virgin too grin grin cheesy lolzzz
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Nobody: 1:13pm On Jun 25, 2018
Confiman:




C'mon he threw the first blow. I'm frustrated here. I find it difficult talking about my masturbatory tendencies cos of the shame I feel after it. I know how much effort it took me to come clean to my momma back then, just so I could get help. The opening post on the thread made it clear it disturbs me deeply... I just didn't want to get into details here.

His post just made it seem as though I glorified the act, carefully ignoring the questions I asked and the help I sought. That's totally uncalled for if you ask me. Either way, I'd edit the insult off my comments. I know it won't edit it in your quotes but that satisfies my conscience.

You ever heard of death grip? Google it.
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by computerizeniaja(m): 1:16pm On Jun 25, 2018
sincerely Naira land is one place where you will hardly get solutions to personal issue so dont take the bashing to heart.
Op firstly its all in the mind All guys and many girls have masturbated one time or the other,but like any other thing when done too much it becomes an addiction,so we would handle this like any other addiction,some people are addicted to caffin,other to sex nymphos,others to stealing cleptos etc...Now your addiction to masturbation is not the real issue why you tend to loose erection when your with her
it is Fear,you are nursing some kind of fear weather you may not satisfy her well or weather you cant disvirgin her etc ,so once you r with her making out you start thinking and the fear creeps in and affects your erection .
so the more the fear continues to build the more this will happen and if you run ,you will still not solve it so when you meet another that you love it will continue.
I do recommend you should talk to her heart to heart and when she understand any time you guys are together she will calm you down ,but as long as she does not understand she will complain and complain and it will only increase your anxiety of been with hear and you will use keeping your self till marriage as an excuse(Crap).
So make her understand and she will ..and once she makes you calm and you guy do it once you will break that jinxs...
also reduce your mastubating habit drastically ,but once you make love to her and you feel how great the rubbing of her clit on your cock is ,mastubation will be far from you.
Also get more busy it helps ,but talk to her and you can take some Herbal root them dey help ooo..Also you can watch porn with her...
But no dey fear no body go beat you abi


Confiman:
Please this might be a little lengthy but bear with me, everything here is needed to get the story out and ask my questions. Thank you.

This will go down as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and I'm deeply confused. But before I go on, I'd love a quick intro.

I just created this moniker to chronicle all of my confusions and to feel free asking for help without any of my friends here tracing them to me. I'm 22 and a serving Corp member. I'm a hustler and I can say I'm doing fairly well for a Corp member.

I am still a "virgin" iff that term can be loosely applied to someone who masturbates. I'm deeply disturbed by my masturbation, but that is not the purpose of this thread.

I recently met a girl - also a Corp member - whom I'm really, really fond of. However, I strongly believe that sex is for marriage (I'm a devoted Christian) and so I have always stayed away from it. With this girl tho, we get frisky a lot. I shared my first kiss with her, and we've since gotten more intimate than I'm usually comfortable with. Sadly, that doesn't help my desire to stop masturbation as I always do that after making out with her. When doing so, I imagine all we had done and it gets me off.

However, this is where it gets embarrassing. When making out with her she sometimes gives me a head. Despite all of her efforts tho (and she is sincerely really good), I can't get myself to remain aroused. No, my hands don't give me half the sensations I get from her mouth, but it still doesn't matter as I just can't remain aroused enough to get off as is the case when I'm by myself.

Today was the very worst as I kept shrinking rather than edging towards release. It angers her cos she believes I don't want her, or how else does she explain it? She feels if I wanted her as much as she wanted me that it would be different. I know my conscience pricks me while we're at it but I don't know if that is the cause. She says I think too much about it... but I can't help the thoughts. Now I'm torn.

I need to know just two things:
1. Is it my 'plenty thinking' that's hindering me when with her? I've already put away most of my inhibitions to get that far with her, but I can't seem to go further. And I don't really think I want to.
2. How can I tell her to take away the sexual edge of the relationship without coming across as offensive, and without confirming her belief that I don't want her?

P.S: Before you begin bashing the lady, note that she is also a virgin. Her vagina is still very much sealed. I doubted that at first, but I've seen it and... So I know. I don't want to lose her but I don't want to go so far either...
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by SyndyB(m): 1:25pm On Jun 25, 2018
Confiman:
Please this might be a little lengthy but bear with me, everything here is needed to get the story out and ask my questions. Thank you.

This will go down as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and I'm deeply confused. But before I go on, I'd love a quick intro.

I just created this moniker to chronicle all of my confusions and to feel free asking for help without any of my friends here tracing them to me. I'm 22 and a serving Corp member. I'm a hustler and I can say I'm doing fairly well for a Corp member.

I am still a "virgin" iff that term can be loosely applied to someone who masturbates. I'm deeply disturbed by my masturbation, but that is not the purpose of this thread.

I recently met a girl - also a Corp member - whom I'm really, really fond of. However, I strongly believe that sex is for marriage (I'm a devoted Christian) and so I have always stayed away from it. With this girl tho, we get frisky a lot. I shared my first kiss with her, and we've since gotten more intimate than I'm usually comfortable with. Sadly, that doesn't help my desire to stop masturbation as I always do that after making out with her. When doing so, I imagine all we had done and it gets me off.

However, this is where it gets embarrassing. When making out with her she sometimes gives me a head. Despite all of her efforts tho (and she is sincerely really good), I can't get myself to remain aroused. No, my hands don't give me half the sensations I get from her mouth, but it still doesn't matter as I just can't remain aroused enough to get off as is the case when I'm by myself.

Today was the very worst as I kept shrinking rather than edging towards release. It angers her cos she believes I don't want her, or how else does she explain it? She feels if I wanted her as much as she wanted me that it would be different. I know my conscience pricks me while we're at it but I don't know if that is the cause. She says I think too much about it... but I can't help the thoughts. Now I'm torn.

I need to know just two things:
1. Is it my 'plenty thinking' that's hindering me when with her? I've already put away most of my inhibitions to get that far with her, but I can't seem to go further. And I don't really think I want to.
2. How can I tell her to take away the sexual edge of the relationship without coming across as offensive, and without confirming her belief that I don't want her?

P.S: Before you begin bashing the lady, note that she is also a virgin. Her vagina is still very much sealed. I doubted that at first, but I've seen it and... So I know. I don't want to lose her but I don't want to go so far either...


Your written English is too poor like this, and you are already serving?
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Parable007: 1:25pm On Jun 25, 2018
young man talk to a pastor or a true believer who loves you, most people here will laugh and mock you and will profer no meaningful solution for you
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by krys22: 1:29pm On Jun 25, 2018
First things first, you gotta quit masturbation, because as it stands, your brain is already wired a certain way, it only knows one way to reach orgasm and thats through masturbation(with porn even worse cos you'd be more turned on looking at naked girls than actually being with them). Worse is thwe fact that you have never had sex before, trust me when you do, you would find it hard to cum as the physical aspects of sex will tire you out before you get the same intensity as you do when you masturbate. Once you abstain from wanking for three months, you'd be free. If you like the girl well enough, then try to. I've been here before and my girlfriend actually helped me by wiping of all porn related things on my phone and system. i had over 50gb worth of porn grin grin. I'm only sad i didnt hand it over to one who needs it. Mine was actually better cos i started having sex before becoming addicted to masturbation, so my brain just had to do a factory reset, but it took a while, i could go hours without cumming. Just abstain for 3 months. Its hard but its worth it.

1 Like

Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by princeemmma(m): 1:39pm On Jun 25, 2018
you dont want to bleep her, you don't want to loose her, this are two different thing, abeg my man how can you be selling pap inside rain, you must pick one, either you bleep her or loose her. I was once in your choose not until i loose my dear gf to someone who could bleep her five times a day....... for now am a true christian but am sorry to say, whenever i have the chance to bleep, i can bleep anything for now grin grin grin grin grin

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