solasoulmusic:


People with secrets make the worst husbands. People with no self control too but some are married to wives that overlook and manage it because there’s always room for improvement with love. When you love your teaching your imparting your advice your not discouraging bad mouthing and abusive

donjobill:


Even if he or she gives you all what you need?

openmine:

We are saying the same thing but a slightly different manner...
You can't overlook...that's the impression am trying to correct!

Its dangerous to ignore....
No matter how you love some one,there is some thing that might make you stop loving the person....

Does this person believe that there is room for improvements?
Does the person also know you want the best for him hence you seek matured ways to guide and advise them?

You can't advise some one who has already decided to be that way.....

True,people hide their secrets but for how long?
The only person that hides his or her secrets is one who doesn't want to learn and grow or the person who feels he will be mocked or shamed when he reveals her flaws hence the purpose of advise or encouragement is defeated!

solasoulmusic:


No matter what you can never starve someone you claim to love of love you overlook because their not perfect in time they will evolve

openmine:

Sorry dear, I can't really comprehend what you are saying...

Are you saying "you can't starve the person you love and you need to overlook what they are doing until they evolve into what you expect from them since they are not perfect?"


Am trying really hard to understand what you are saying because there are No punctuations on your comments....please try to edit and put punctuations where needed so that I can understand your line of thought....thanks

solasoulmusic:


What I mean is you don't stop showing love because they aren't perfect...

openmine:

Then you misunderstood my earlier comments....on the contrary,you can still show love or sympathy to them but not to your own detriment.....
It can be done without being in a relationship with the person...

Am sure you wouldn't want to stay in a toxic or abusive relationship.... simply because you believe you can change the person!

solasoulmusic:


I never mentioned changing a person I said adjusting to love and not dwelling on faults we have too many critics in life and so many rules your the one throwing all sorts of scenarios like you have something to unload off your chest sir

Empathy is what most people that talk like you do lack

Moveonmax:
Hi! Is this Weird MC?

solasoulmusic:
no lol is this your second id lol

Moveonmax:
You even have similar facial features as her!
No, it is a first. Why?

solasoulmusic:
Bless

solasoulmusic:


I never mentioned changing a person I said adjusting to love and not dwelling on faults we have too many critics in life and so many rules your the one throwing all sorts of scenarios like you have something to unload off your chest sir

Empathy is what most people that talk like you do lack

openmine:

madam the issue u don't understand and yet to understand is that you don't change some one who doesn't want to change or who doesn't see any thing wrong about being who they are no matter how much you advise or seek to advise them....

However,You don't lose your love for them but you can encourage them and let them seek help....but do so from a distance.....People should change because they WANT TO not because of SOMEONE!

......being in a relationship or marriage with some one who thinks its okay or normal to be a cassanova is unacceptable and they must know it..

You can't keep living with a habitual physical abuser and hope one day he changes his ways....that totally illogical! Please run away from such person before they send you to the hospital!

You don't condone or "overlook" a hubby who keeps following every lady in skirt and hope that with your advise and love,he will one day change....That will be a dreadful mistake on ur part! Please run away from such people before they kill your destiny!

And lastly,empathy which is understanding someone is cool and okay,however, people need to be told though politely that their constant habits are detrimental to them and to those they love!

This has been my line of thought ab initio.....

....and no madam, I don't lack empathy neither do I have anything to take off my chest because you hardly know me....That's a fallacious conclusion which I hardly expect from you!

...I only aired my opinions which I believe is valid and not borne out of personal experience!
I only tend to look at an issue from a different point of view which regrettably, you are find hard to comprehend!

I believe in people and their ability to raise above their limitations or flaws...I also believe its also not easy for such people but I know that with baby steps,encouragement and constant improvement, it can only get better for them.....!

solasoulmusic:


Please go back to where you first quoted me and read my post ok. Cheating is a spiritual thing and you don’t fight that battle standing up you fight it on your knees. Secondly, No woman likes to put up with one the risk is more than the benefit but when you love someone you encourage them you don’t seek to embarrass them you say your peice and you don’t follow them everywhere. You don’t raise your voice you elevate your wisdom. In any relationship where you actually love someone it will hurt you but are you going to change him ....or will his quest to be a good example to his children humble him without you lifting a finger

It’s my opinion sorry

Happy Sunday

openmine:

This is the most preposterous and diversionary writeup I have seen in nairaland in years.....Its as if you are responding to something totally different from what is being discussed here esp your first paragraph...

Please where did I mention cheating in my write-ups or where did I say the one with flaws should be embarrassed.... Chai!

Please madam, is it a norm that you and some others don't or hardly peruse write-ups before jumping to respond...I mean I expected more from you!
Unbelievable!
Even a man with an eye and limited understanding that has followed the trail of our back and forth can see that I have maintained consistency in my narrative....

Which is and I quote in a nutshell:

"I believe in people and their ability to raise above their limitations or flaws...I believe its also not easy for such people but I know that with baby steps,encouragement and constant improvement, it can only get better for them.....!"

This has always been my inclination ab initio(From the beginning)....

If you are having a hard time comprehending what am saying,please be humble enough to point them out for me in form of a question so that I can explain better.....we are not here to argue for the sake of argument but the main purpose is to challenge our opinions and learn from it!

Have a happy Sunday and a great new month!

openmine:

This is the most preposterous and diversionary writeup I have seen in nairaland in years.....Its as if you are responding to something totally different from what is being discussed here esp your first paragraph...

Please where did I mention cheating in my write-ups or where did I say the one with flaws should be embarrassed.... Chai!

Please madam, is it a norm that you and some others don't or hardly peruse write-ups before jumping to respond...I mean I expected more from you!
Unbelievable!
Even a man with an eye and limited understanding that has followed the trail of our back and forth can see that I have maintained consistency in my narrative....

Which is and I quote in a nutshell:

"I believe in people and their ability to raise above their limitations or flaws...I believe its also not easy for such people but I know that with baby steps,encouragement and constant improvement, it can only get better for them.....!"

This has always been my inclination ab initio(From the beginning)....

If you are having a hard time comprehending what am saying,please be humble enough to point them out for me in form of a question so that I can explain better.....we are not here to argue for the sake of argument but the main purpose is to challenge our opinions and learn from it!

Have a happy Sunday and a great new month!

solasoulmusic:


Wisdom is something you have to choose and true wisdom does not suppress the thoughts and ideas of others that differ from yours

You obviously have stuff to get off your chest but I suggest you open a thread your talking from experience I am also sharing what I have learnt we may not agree but at least I don’t have to bash your thinking I can just simply agree to disagree with you. Always note the length of your replies to others to gauge who e dey pain pass.

In a marriage We will work through our flaws without informing the whole world. Heard the word today from the radio it said the ceremony is 30 mins but the marriage commitment takes at least 30 years of work

More blessings

openmine:

Am really having a hard time getting your drift.....
Maybe its because you don't understand my point or you are hell bent on imposing yours by resorting to emotional blackmail using phrases like getting stuffs of one's chest and experience...

....and contrary to your misconstrued inclination, I never typed this length due to pain....I do so because it takes your likes to comprehend an "explanation without an instance" which is so unfortunate considering that we are in the age of information and exposure!

If "wisdom" is clinging to or condoning a partner that doesn't intend to improve because they are comfortable with their comfort zone,then I would rather not be wise....

That has been my issue with you right from the start of our comments...First understand the narrative of some one before proceeding for a rebuttal.....It helps for better communication...!

Marriage does not have to be based on constant endurance...
Its meant to be enjoyed not endured esp when both partners have decided to work on each others weaknesses or flaws rather than overlooking them and getting ensnared to more recurring arguments and endless issues....!

Stay blessed!

solasoulmusic:


I’m just saying you went far from the topic into something else entirely I as a woman that I am will commit to love entirely body, mind and soul and i dropped my thoughts on this topic pages ago seton dey make you carry am like this na

It’s not emotional blackmail you sound like you are really using two lines to write a script

solasoulmusic:
When you love someone in all honesty you overlook their flaws and start focusing on their strengths. That is my point, it’s like seeing a mirror and seeing a reflection of yourself whatever you see that you don’t like you can change it. Everything else just nitpicking after all the same people are able to function and be loved by others apart from you right with less judgment.

Love is not desperate it’s brave cause it’s a cold world out there!

Pardon me miss but I have a little issue with ur analogy....

U said When you love some one,you "over look" their flaws and focus on their strengths... right?

I agree with the focus on their strengths but don't you think the person's flaws can also affect you?

I thought loving some one means you are honest enough to tell that person the truth about the implications of their flaws rather than telling them its okay to have them...

In other words, we should over look or tolerate a Casanova or a cheat.....right?

We should also overlook a reckless or loose tongue.... abi?

We should also condone an alcoholic person simply because we think there is a magical wand that can transform them?

What about an abusive person or a brutal person or dirty person.....?

Is love not about being truthful to the person you love by pointing to them about the implications of their flaws?

As much as I know that no human is perfect,I do believe that there is room for improvements instead of massaging one's flaws......

openmine:

Haba are you sure you are not replying some one else?
Okay for the avoidance of doubt, let me get to our initial conversation just to let you know
....
This was your initial statement that i responded to....


and this was my reply...



I really don't know if am the one you are responding to or some one else because your arguments seem lost...with all due respect!
Please for the umpteenth time,try to punctuate your statements....Thanks!

solasoulmusic:


Your reply was a "bit off for me" as well I stand my original post it’s not that serious

openmine:

Smh....Okay
Good luck with that!

solasoulmusic:
thank you for not writing another paragraph about my own opinion

openmine:


Madam you are entitled to your lofty and misconstrued opinions and i gladly accept and respect that....!
However,you didn't need to be so sarcastic thereby looking so childish with your latest comments!
Its not by force to reply....
If you are so bothered about my elaborate write-ups,which you had a herculean task comprehending,you should have called me up to school you on comprehension and the art of punctuation....!

solasoulmusic:

Yet another paragraph to explain my observation it is well I am not being sarcastic at all just pointing it out

openmine:

madam you have made your point about your stand...Please be matured and stop making a nuisance of yourself nah...lol
Or are you dragging land here?

solasoulmusic:
Lol nope just thankful you should be a lawyer

Akinbahm:

People tends to value more anything they get in a hard way and de-value things they get in a less way... Thats why I dont sound desperate for things I crave for.