i was attending this church since about last year when I graduated from school.

so thus girl at the church. we don't talk on church or after church. you know those kind of people u just don't get anything connecting you both.

so she travelled to Abuja. I didn't even noticed till she hit me up on facebook one day and then we started chatting.

we were talking for up to 3 months she spent there and she told me she left to Abuja because she want to get over her last breakup with her guy. I didn't buy the lie sha. I know she had an obligation to do there as she has unconsciously stated it some times.

she came back about one month one and our friendship was clear it was going into a relationship.

now here is the problem.

my nature is a kind of of quiet shy guy

I don't really like the girl as she is not that pretty.

and I have been single for over a year and I am so used to it that I'm scared to go into something that would disrupt the inner peace I have. I feel I'm stable being single.

we have already started doing stuffs people dating does and I feel some part me is saying I should stop that this would crash.

just on monday I told her we should just cut and she started begging that I just not worry it would be fine and I should please make it work.

NL please I'm in a confused state help me out.

" I don't really like the girl as she is not that pretty."

Cut her off.

Oga, u put ur own leg in the graveyard.. U know exactly that u don't want a relationship then why the hell u keep playing games ?

Some men sha .. Abeeg, if from the beginning u made it clear that u juz want some "toot it & boot it" , I bet that girl will not give herself a hope coz she knows this will not work.

madridguy:
" I don't really like the girl as she is not that pretty."

Cut her off.

hmmm...i wish I could do that without guilt and not having the feeling that I will make her sad

QueenSuccubus:



Oga, u put ur own leg in the graveyard.. U know exactly that u don't want a relationship then why the hell u keep playing games ?

Some men sha .. Abeeg, if from the beginning u made it clear that u juz want some "toot it & boot it" , I bet that girl will not give herself a hope coz she knows this will not work.

I know I messed up here. but I didn't want her to feel bad and begin to have low self esteem

Let your emotions never be attached to her in any way,if not you will end up hating your self.If i am you i will just use her and continue using her,when she starts misbehaving i dump her.

confusedGuy:


I know I messed up here. but I didn't want her to feel bad and begin to have low self esteem

Then tell her straight up since there is no other way and cut it off whatever commitment u have with her rather than u keep playing with her heart coz that's only one, unlike tittiez at least they are 2 hahahahaaaha...

I'm currently battling one now myself. but here's how I've patched it. you could try it. I've made it clear to her that we will be just friends. then when she gets angry I stay away from her or she does too. after a while she beeps me and then we talk like friends. I avoid anything that triggers close conversations. I've done this in cycles and she has finally accepted though she likes to bring it up attimes still. Just be straightforward with her but be gentle at the same time. don't make an enemy of her just cos u want to end it.

Why not look at her from a bright side, you haven't been in a relationship for a very long time, this could be something you could use as an experience to build yourself up on how to love a woman. Trust me if you take things handed over to you on a platter of gold, you would regret it.

QueenSuccubus:



Then tell her straight up since there is no other way and cut it off whatever commitment u have with her rather than u keep playing with her heart coz that's only one, unlike tittiez at least they are 2 hahahahaaaha...

I wish i could just tell her. I have seen how she loves me. I afraid I would hurt her so bad.

thanks anyway

You don't like her and somebody suggested you quit, you said you can't.
Oya pray about it and talk to your pastor. I guess this advice is what every Naija religious person expects.

CaptJeffry:
You don't like her and somebody suggested you quit, you said you can't.
Oya pray about it and talk to your pastor. I guess this advice is what every Naija religious person expects.

not that I cant. I just want know a better way to call it quit

dingbang:
Why not look at her from a bright side, you haven't been in a relationship for a very long time, this could be something you could use as an experience to build yourself up on how to love a woman. Trust me if you take things handed over to you on a platter of gold, you would regret it.

hmmm....thanks ��

confusedGuy:


I wish i could just tell her. I have seen how she loves me. I afraid I would hurt her so bad.

thanks anyway

There's no break up that wud feel good sha.. But the choice is urz..

You need not go into a relationship out of pity. Know what you want and go for it. All the best.

QueenSuccubus:



Then tell her straight up since there is no other way and cut it off whatever commitment u have with her rather than u keep playing with her heart coz that's only one, unlike tittiez at least they are 2 hahahahaaaha...

This ur advice ehhn.. Where have u been
Meanwhile @ confusedGuy u for no just start wetin u no fit finish na... Why did u lead her on at all.. I pray she holds on to u like a leech digging ur skin. She never recover from one u want add ur own.. U must bear am guy

Kindly go back to yuh soap...

dairykidd:


This ur advice ehhn.. Where have u been
Meanwhile @ confusedGuy u for no just start wetin u no fit finish na... Why did u lead her on at all.. I pray she holds on to u like a leech digging ur skin. She never recover from one u want add ur own.. U must bear am guy

I'm juz here oo .juz busy watching football..

How far na?

QueenSuccubus:



I'm juz here oo .juz busy watching football..

How far na?

Prep for sweden England ooo... Btw i like ur dp

Just complete what you started bro.. She's in love with you

OneSentence:
I'm currently battling one now myself. but here's how I've patched it. you could try it. I've made it clear to her that we will be just friends. then when she gets angry I stay away from her or she does too. after a while she beeps me and then we talk like friends. I avoid anything that triggers close conversations. I've done this in cycles and she has finally accepted though she likes to bring it up attimes still. Just be straightforward with her but be gentle at the same time. don't make an enemy of her just cos u want to end it.

Why did you decide not to date her anymore?

Hmmm....were you expecting her to vet pretty enough for you?...and so far no progress? If not why do you want to suddenly end the relationship? I know you can explain...but before making a decision... remember hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

madridguy:
" I don't really like the girl as she is not that pretty."

Cut her off.

As in eh... wetin remain again? Lol

OP I've been in your shoes before. Was single for two years before I decided to try again and guess what? I got burned. But that shouldn't stop you from taking a dive in the deep end cos nothing is certain in life. I am seeing someone else now, the key is to go in with zero expectations. But as u say the girl no too fine my preek just weak.

Biglittlelois:



Why did you decide not to date her anymore?

we weren't dating in the first place. I actually chased her like 4 years ago but she declined but things got better for me, we met again and I even joked about that time. suddenly she realises I'm a better man and things are better for me and we should be together...the mistake I made was leading her on

Originalsly:
Hmmm....were you expecting her to vet pretty enough for you?...and so far no progress? If not why do you want to suddenly end the relationship? I know you can explain...but before making a decision... remember hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

the problem is she not the kind of picture of a gf I had always wanted...thats all to explain.

my mistake was giving her hope

OneSentence:

we weren't dating in the first place. I actually chased her like 4 years ago but she declined but things got better for me, we met again and I even joked about that time. suddenly she realises I'm a better man and things are better for me and we should be together...the mistake I made was leading her on

Okay cool