I am an African American woman who recently began dating an east African man. I've never dated anyone other than African American men and don't have much experience dating as a whole. I like this man but I'm very skeptical of him. I've read the horror stories and have seen some red flags. He came on very strong in the beginning. Very complimentary and blowing up my phone at all hours of the day. He made some big declarations at the beginning that seemed a bit farfetched. Love and such after a couple of weeks of knowing each other. Trust me, when he said it, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. Anyways, the relationship seems to have deepened. He has gradually shared more and more personal stories with me. He has become more open, tender and less guarded. This isn't to say that things have been roses. There are a lot of lies he is just now admitting to. My thought is that I was initially supposed to be a fling and so he felt no problem lying to me. My concern now is that while things seem to be deepening, he is still flirting and entertaining the affections of women on social media. We have been dating for just over two months so I have no claim to this man and have been very self-protective because I know how these things can go. In the beginning, he told me he is a cheater. LOL! That he will likely cheat on any woman he dates, not because he does not love them, but that it's a compulsion. I think I appreciated his candor. I kept going out with him in large part because in this day and age, I think it's incredibly challenging to find a man who will not cheat when presented with the opportunity. Anyways, I don't know if I should invest here. I don't want to get hurt but I feel like it's coming. I've read that African men are NEVER serious about African American women. That we are play things and that they prefer to marry women from home. Is that true? Is this a waste of time?

vonnsherry:
I am an African American woman who recently began dating an east African man. I've never dated anyone other than African American men and don't have much experience dating as a whole. I've dated ex-husband for most of my adult life. Anyways, I like this man but I'm very skeptical of him. I've read the horror stories and have seen some glaring red flags. He came on very strong in the beginning. Very complimentary and blowing up my phone at all hours of the day. He made some big declarations at the beginning that seemed a bit farfetched. Love and such after a couple of weeks of knowing each other. Trust me, when he said it, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. Anyways, we slept together and the relationship seemed to deepen from there. He has gradually shared more and more personal stories with me and his struggles, things no one else knows. I've been supporting him through tough times. He has become more open, tender and less guarded. This isn't to say that things have been roses. There are a lot of lies he is just now admitting to. My thought is that I was initially supposed to be a fling and so he felt no problem lying to me. Now that things have deepened a bit, he is of his own free will coming clean and being honest-ish. LOL. My concern is that while things seem to be deepening, he is still flirting and entertaining the affections of women on social media. We have been dating for just over two months so I have no claim to this man and have been very self-protective because I know how these things can go. I've been doing my best to learn about his culture and to learn his language to foster a real connection. I'm just not sure it's worth it if he has a ton of female friends and a roving eye. In the beginning, he told me he is a cheater. LOL! That he is not a perfect man. That he will likely cheat on any woman he dates, not because he does not love them, but that it's a compulsion. I think I appreciated his honesty. I kept going out with him in large part because in this day and age, I think it's incredibly challenging to find a man who will not cheat when presented with the opportunity. Anyways, I don't know if I should invest here. I'm keeping my options open but I do really like him and I feel like we are getting somewhere. The only thing I will say is that he has very few hobbies and not a lot of interests to talk about. I am pretty active and am constantly working on things so sometimes conversations can be hard. I am always trying to introduce him to new things but he is so closed off sometimes to American things because of his contempt for this country. He had a full life back home. He misses it. That's a big thing, too. He may go back in a few months permanently. He asked me if I'd come visit him but I don't know how genuine that request is. I don't want to get hurt but I feel like it's coming. I've read that African men are NEVER serious about African American women. That we are play things and that they prefer to marry women from home. Is that true? Is this a waste of time?

This is a waste of time... Both of you aren't on the same line and neither do you have anything in common... Try to protect your heart and avoid been defrauded

Did he give you money? Is that why you like him? Or you just like the attention you get from him?

I'm asking because our women have brain washed me. I no longer understand what a female wants.

Does your attraction to him stem from his money or what? Please tell me

let's wait for the elders to come and give you advice

U read dat AM dont get serious with AAW, where did u read dat?

jessca048:
let's wait for the elders to come and give you advice

lil sis how are u?

I read it on several forums. Several African women offered it up. Said that they like to treat AAW as side girlfriends or play things but have no intentions of marrying them.

vonnsherry:
I am an African American woman who recently began dating an east African man. I've never dated anyone other than African American men and don't have much experience dating as a whole. I like this man but I'm very skeptical of him. I've read the horror stories and have seen some red flags. He came on very strong in the beginning. Very complimentary and blowing up my phone at all hours of the day. He made some big declarations at the beginning that seemed a bit farfetched. Love and such after a couple of weeks of knowing each other. Trust me, when he said it, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. Anyways, the relationship seems to have deepened. He has gradually shared more and more personal stories with me. He has become more open, tender and less guarded. This isn't to say that things have been roses. There are a lot of lies he is just now admitting to. My thought is that I was initially supposed to be a fling and so he felt no problem lying to me. My concern now is that while things seem to be deepening, he is still flirting and entertaining the affections of women on social media. We have been dating for just over two months so I have no claim to this man and have been very self-protective because I know how these things can go. In the beginning, he told me he is a cheater. LOL! That he will likely cheat on any woman he dates, not because he does not love them, but that it's a compulsion. I think I appreciated his candor. I kept going out with him in large part because in this day and age, I think it's incredibly challenging to find a man who will not cheat when presented with the opportunity. Anyways, I don't know if I should invest here. I don't want to get hurt but I feel like it's coming. I've read that African men are NEVER serious about African American women. That we are play things and that they prefer to marry women from home. Is that true? Is this a waste of time?

you lack manners,you can't even greet

Ma you will not get the best advice online. I think the man is coming out straight with you. Give him a chance first. East African men are caring if you aren’t aware. Give him a chance

Most people on this forum don’t understand the word DATING

Ma,we r in west Africa not East Africa

Find East Africa Forum and,ask that question

mimimile93:
lil sis how are u?

am doing fine just relaxing for today and tomorrow normal hussle continues. how is your side

So no African American men behave in exactly the way that you assume African men behave?
Africa is a continent not a country there is no one expert to tell you specifics regarding the behaviour of all African men!
You are an adult what exactly do you want out of this? That is a question only you can answer as at the end of the day it’s your life.
African men/women have been setting up homes with African American men/women and raising families kindly dispel the myth that we all want something most of us don’t!

He told he cheats
You know he lied
What are you waiting for?