Whobedatte:
You aptly described my personality
Creating a balance is paramount though, as you don't want to run into debt

Whobedatte:
You aptly described my personality
Creating a balance is paramount though, as you don't want to run into debt

YoungFr:
Good morning to all Nairalander.
I'm a 25 years old guy with one daughter, duo I'm yet to be legally married but me and my soon to be wife and my daughter are living well and very happy. I have my own house and living well, I work as a security guard in a company but the pay is cool I can boldly compare my salary to a police Sargent salary, our department have a cooperative society where we can get a loan up to the amount of 500k which I took a loan, added some of my savings and open a store (chemist store) for the mother of my daughter my soon to be wife.
My problem now is this:- I can't stop helping people that comes my way even when I'm broke and have no money with me, few days ago I borrowed money from someone just to help a guy who admitted his kid in a hospital. Sometimes I even end up giving out my last cash, I can't see someone around me that's in need without me helping even if I have to borrow just to assist him or her.
I'm posting this cos when I'm in need no one is available to help or assist me, there's was a time I got myself involved in some stuff and needed money to pay off some debts no one helped me, everyone turned me down that I have to sell my iPhone 7plus 190k, that's a phone I bought 320k. Please I need your advice on how to turn down some people, I can't keep living this way, pleasing others just to displease myself, my wife have complained several times but I find it difficult to change.
Please no insults, advice is all I want. Thanks

dulux07:
It is a spiritual gift lol , maybe you guys should run a joint account to curb it

Chubhie:

First things first. What's the need for a 320k phone when you don't have at least a billion naira in your account?

You borrow to invest not for charity, pleasure or food.

If you don't look after yourself who will? learn to protect yourself.

The very people I've met that have real money always hide themselves and not invite pressures on themselves.

How can you be parading a phone of such nature and still turn people that need 10k for drugs back? See it from their point of view and readjust your posture.

You trained them. Untrain them.

YoungFr:


Thanks but how do I untrained them?? Some will even borrow and it will take forever to pay back that I end up leaving the cash with him or her l.
Before owing a house or buying the iPhone I have be giving

YoungFr:
Good morning to all Nairalander.
I'm a 25 years old guy with one daughter, duo I'm yet to be legally married but me and my soon to be wife and my daughter are living well and very happy. I have my own house and living well, I work as a security guard in a company but the pay is cool I can boldly compare my salary to a police Sargent salary, our department have a cooperative society where we can get a loan up to the amount of 500k which I took a loan, added some of my savings and open a store (chemist store) for the mother of my daughter my soon to be wife.
My problem now is this:- I can't stop helping people that comes my way even when I'm broke and have no money with me, few days ago I borrowed money from someone just to help a guy who admitted his kid in a hospital. Sometimes I even end up giving out my last cash, I can't see someone around me that's in need without me helping even if I have to borrow just to assist him or her.
I'm posting this cos when I'm in need no one is available to help or assist me, there's was a time I got myself involved in some stuff and needed money to pay off some debts no one helped me, everyone turned me down that I have to sell my iPhone 7plus 190k, that's a phone I bought 320k. Please I need your advice on how to turn down some people, I can't keep living this way, pleasing others just to displease myself, my wife have complained several times but I find it difficult to change.
Please no insults, advice is all I want. Thanks

Chubhie:

How's your wife? is she soft and undisciplined as you? You know there are no guarantees that you won't be sacked from that job someday?

I'm very disciplined, as for my job I try to put in all my effort, I was paid off one time due to the decrease in price of the company products but was later called back to work after 10 months. I used the opportunity in obtaining my National Diploma

Not a bad idea to start saving to build apartment building for rentals.

YoungFr:
Good morning to all Nairalander.
I'm a 25 years old guy with one daughter, duo I'm yet to be legally married but me and my soon to be wife and my daughter are living well and very happy. I have my own house and living well, I work as a security guard in a company but the pay is cool I can boldly compare my salary to a police Sargent salary, our department have a cooperative society where we can get a loan up to the amount of 500k which I took a loan, added some of my savings and open a store (chemist store) for the mother of my daughter my soon to be wife.
My problem now is this:- I can't stop helping people that comes my way even when I'm broke and have no money with me, few days ago I borrowed money from someone just to help a guy who admitted his kid in a hospital. Sometimes I even end up giving out my last cash, I can't see someone around me that's in need without me helping even if I have to borrow just to assist him or her.
I'm posting this cos when I'm in need no one is available to help or assist me, there's was a time I got myself involved in some stuff and needed money to pay off some debts no one helped me, everyone turned me down that I have to sell my iPhone 7plus 190k, that's a phone I bought 320k. Please I need your advice on how to turn down some people, I can't keep living this way, pleasing others just to displease myself, my wife have complained several times but I find it difficult to change.
Please no insults, advice is all I want. Thanks

YoungFr:

I'm already working on it, I actually build my house at the age of 23, last year I got a plot of land in a more developed area, my plan is to build and rent it out

my wife isn't soft like me that's why I'm happy cos by now only God knows

Chubhie:

How's your wife? is she soft and undisciplined as you? You know there are no guarantees that you won't be sacked from that job someday?

You can set aside 10% of your income as charity and stick to it for a start.

I must commend you on building your first house at 25. I was distracted trying to unravel and get under girls panties at your age.

Your priority now should be on your family and also having different steady streams of income.

Not a bad idea to start saving to build apartment building for rentals.

Ishilove:

I'm sometimes baffled how you can make sense in one minute, and then be a trolling douchebag in the next.

YoungFr:
Good morning to all Nairalander.
I'm a 25 years old guy with one daughter, duo I'm yet to be legally married but me and my soon to be wife and my daughter are living well and very happy. I have my own house and living well, I work as a security guard in a company but the pay is cool I can boldly compare my salary to a police Sargent salary, our department have a cooperative society where we can get a loan up to the amount of 500k which I took a loan, added some of my savings and open a store (chemist store) for the mother of my daughter my soon to be wife.
My problem now is this:- I can't stop helping people that comes my way even when I'm broke and have no money with me, few days ago I borrowed money from someone just to help a guy who admitted his kid in a hospital. Sometimes I even end up giving out my last cash, I can't see someone around me that's in need without me helping even if I have to borrow just to assist him or her.
I'm posting this cos when I'm in need no one is available to help or assist me, there's was a time I got myself involved in some stuff and needed money to pay off some debts no one helped me, everyone turned me down that I have to sell my iPhone 7plus 190k, that's a phone I bought 320k. Please I need your advice on how to turn down some people, I can't keep living this way, pleasing others just to displease myself, my wife have complained several times but I find it difficult to change.
Please no insults, advice is all I want. Thanks

ZIMDRILL:



I shall be blant

I respect you taking care of yo partner and child, you are not married traditionally or civil hence i used the word PARTNER

You are stupid to get a loan a open a store for future mother-in-law. You should have opened it has your own business. Never do things for people thats you havent achieved yourself

Money, business and relatives never mix

You go out yo way to help people as if you need approval from them that u are good person.

On averange friends and relatives always bring u down when comes to money

Eketem:
I was like you, what helped me was tracking my spending.


Get a hard cover exercise book. Write down every source of income then budget how you can spend it building project savings included. Have one account for daily expenses then another account without cheque book or ATM where you can save towards your big projects and for the rainy day. The job may not be there forever



You can dedicate 10 or 15 person of your income to helping others, write it on that exercise book and be strict about it. When that money finishes anybody else that comes be honest and tell them you don't have.


The good thing about writing down your income and expenses is it makes whatever you spend real, you will start seeing for your self frivolous things and you will stop it by your self.

Quiescere:
Learn to say "no" when you need to. It's honest and better for your own wellbeing.



There is no atom of honesty in saying 'no' just to relieve one from needless financial entanglement. It is just a mechanism to get out of unfavourable situations.