Food for thought.

Revenge Your Ex

Each day hundreds of men and women seek revenge on their ex-mates for a
variety of reasons, usually because they got dumped or where cheated on.
Revenge comes in many ways. It typically starts by using social media to
vent, and then escalates from there. Now sites like "Get Revenge On Your Ex"
for a fee will help you get pay back or revenge.

So what is the best way to get revenge besides slashing her tires, posting
nude photos of her and so on.

The best way according to the web site Right Choices 101 is to live your
life well. This is true no matter who you are seeking revenge on. Coworkers,
past bosses, bad friends or ex-lovers. Put your energy into succeeding and
enjoying your life, not wasting your time, energy and resources on revenge
that can end up costing you much more. Plus, when you seek revenge, you send
them a massage that you have not gotten over the relationship. It's much
better to show you are indifferent and don't care.

According to Kenneth Agee of A Foreign Affair, a service that specializes in
helping men find young beautiful foreign women, "The best revenge is to date
or marry a women 10 years younger than your ex. This will piss her off to no
end. No woman ever wants to be replaced with a younger, more attractive
woman. Just like a man never likes to get replaced by a guy who is wealthier
or more successful.

I will never forget one of my first clients we took to Saint Petersburg,
Russia." says Agee, "The client told me that two days on our tour was better
than two years of therapy. Having hundreds of attractive women fighting over
you gets your ex out of your mind pretty quick.

I personally went through break up when my ex ran off with another man. But
a short time later, I met a new lady who was ten times better. I ran into
that man who stole my ex and I gave him a big thanks. In fact, I could not
thank him enough. He was stuck with an older nagging women, while I was now
with a young, beautiful, caring women. Plus, my ex had gained about 100
pounds. I don't look at that fellow as any kind of enemy but as the person
who saved me from my ex and years of suffering." This is the best a revenge
when you win without lowering yourself.

Other sites like "Get Over Her Now" give practical advice and tips for
getting over a past relationship.

Top Tips from Get Over Her Now:

Start making platonic relationships with as many women as possible, old,
young, skinny, fat, cute or ugly. This greatly helps you get back in the
game of socializing with the opposite sex. And it opens up lots
opportunities to meet their cute attractive friends in a more relaxed
environment. This also helps you build your game and confidence.

Improve yourself, start working out, get up early every day and exercise.

Buy new clothes. Dressing better makes you feel better and improves your
confidence.

Focus on work and getting a promotion or raise. Don't let a break up effect
your work negatively. Put that extra effort into work and it will pay off
with a better position and more money. This will also build your confidence
and help attract better quality women.

Any time you are depressed, improving yourself helps greatly. When you feel
depressed, don't sit and watch TV and then sleep-in late. Get out and do
something that will make you feel like you've accomplished something. Take a
class, go hiking, fix something you've been putting off.

Don't start drinking. Drinking will always have a negative impact on your
life. Don't drink while depressed or when you are trying to get over some
one. After all, drinking is for celebrating. So if you are not celebrating
something, don't drink. A quality women is not going to be attracted to
someone who drinks a lot or has a drinking problem.

Don't sleep in; sleeping late increases depression. Get up as early as you
can and go for a walk, take a hike, or go to the Gym. Research shows getting
up early and exercising can eliminate depression. You will have no game be
depressed.

Don't binge eat. If you start gaining weight, you will feel less self-worth
and lose your confidence. Confidence is a quality that women are extremely
attracted to.

Conclusion, the best revenge is when you improve your life so well that she
realizes she made a big mistake. And satisfaction comes when you meet
someone so much better, you are glad the ex is gone. After all, if you are
seeking revenge, how great could she really have been in the first place!

I had coped with a broken heart in the past. I would like to share my story with the forum with the hope that this story can be a source of strength and encouragement for someone.  (Please forgive any mistake you may encounter in my post. French is my first language and I am on this forum to sharpen my writing skills. Nevertheless, any feedback would be welcome).

When your heart has been broken,  you can either wallow in self pity about someone you can’t control, or you can pick up and move on, knowing that there are millions of people out there you haven’t met yet – one of whom has to be looking for someone like you.

I was very happy with my ex-girlfriend. She was a great person, a woman of my dream. We complimented each other perfectly and were so happy that God placed us into one another’s life to be a source of blessing and encouragement. We were planning to get married and were looking forward to that day. Our wedding preparation was on its early stage. Then, all of the sudden, we were forced to break up. And, this break up was very devastating.

It all started one morning when I called her for our daily prayer and devotion.
“I need to talk to you,” she told me.
“Go ahead, talk to me,” I replied.
“No, I can’t talk about this over the phone. I have to meet with you in person.”
This sounded extremely odd. We never had an argument.  We were growing very close and had shared almost everything over the phone. Now, what was it that she couldn’t talk to me over the phone? In an instant, my heart started to race as I guessed where this could be going. I’d heard that phrase before. I couldn’t wait to hear what she had to tell me; therefore, I insisted that she delivered her message over the phone.
Then she got straight to the point, “I need to take some time off from the relationship.”

Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I never saw this coming. Everything had been going smooth with our relationship. There had been no warnings, no fights, and no change in temperature. She always seemed to be happy with me and was always enthusiastic about our wedding plan. I couldn’t understand the meaning of this.
“What is the matter,” I asked her franticly.
“My ex-boyfriend had popped up back into my life. And I realized I am not over him yet. I need some time off to think of where to go from here.”
At this, I felt the ground giving out from under my bed. I was shaking. No! That couldn’t be true. I loved her so much. I started to cry, and I hang up the phone.

I didn’t believe I was about to lose the woman of my dream, my whole world was about to collapse. I gave her a call the following day with the hope of saving the relationship. I reminded her that she always told me how much of a blessing I had been into her life. I reminded her that she always told me she loved me. In one of her emails she wrote to me “I am so glad that God has blinded the eyes of the others before you because I truly think you were handpicked for me.”
I asked her if the words she always told me were all lies. She told they were all truth.
If they were all truth, how this ex –boyfriend could become an issue?
“You won’t understand,” she answered me.  Of course I couldn’t understand. 
She made up her mind to go back to her ex-boyfriend. We had our farewell prayer on the phone that day. It was very emotional. And then, she was out of my life.

The pain that occurred from this breakup was extremely devastating and one of the worst things I had ever been through. In the weeks that followed, I was crushed under the deepest agony. I couldn’t eat.  I lost so much weight. I was crying all the time over my ordeal. I would keep trying to fight the tears back. I didn't want people seeing me in this condition. And when I was at work,  I would often retreat to the bathroom to release the flood of tears.  Life became unbearable and completely empty without her. Sleeping was another challenge. I couldn’t sleep for more than an hour in a given day. Each day, I was exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally. My entire world had collapsed. She was gone. That was like ripping my heart out and leaving me to bleed to death.

I was filled with feelings of depression, loss, abandonment, anger, pain, grief, jealousy and betrayal. I was bordering insanity. I needed to see her. I needed to cry out to her. I needed to talk to her so badly but I couldn’t. She was out of my life. I resisted the urge to call her. I had already decided not to contact her. Staying in touch with her would only cause me more pain than I could handle. In addition to that, crying my pain out to her would make me look like an extreme jackass who couldn’t cope with being without her. As the say goes, “If you can’t save a relationship, at least save your dignity”.

There was no more hope.  She wasn’t going to come back.  I realized that there was nothing worth holding onto her. I was facing the monumental task of rebuilding my life after I had devoted so much to a relationship that just failed. The task seemed impossible at fist. However, little by little, I forced myself to start picking the fragments of my broken heart. I still had no desire for foods, but I started to force myself to eat. For I thought, if I don’t force myself to eat, I will surely die. On weekends, I would take myself out to movies and restaurants. I started to enjoy things that I would never imagine I could enjoy by myself. But, in spite of all my effort to forget her, the pain was still present. The pain couldn’t leave me.

To help alleviate my grief, I fully engaged in new hobbies and activities. I became very active in my church and my community. I wrote stories for my church website. I created websites for people. I became busy with my life, always doing something.   I even became very dedicated to my employer. I changed my work habits.  My hard work paid. I was named the employee of the month in the company. Then, I got a new job with double pay. In the new job, I learned new computer programming skills. I changed my entire wardrobe and bought myself a new car.

Then, I joined a fitness club and started to work out daily.  I started building muscles and put on 50 lbs.  I was no longer a skinny man but, instead I became a big and strong man, a complete different person. Everyone who would look at me could see the positive transformation that was taking place in my life. Some people were talking about the work of the Holy Spirit in my life where in fact it was the work of a broken heart.

I was introduced to a beautiful lady in the beginning of 2006. At that time, I was still nursing the wound of the broken heart, and I was very afraid of relationships.  However, one year later, I gave her a call. This was around March of 2007.  Thanks God, she was still single. I told her that I wanted to marry her. Her answer was a yes.  Everything went fast and smooth. We had our wedding on September 29th, 2007. It was a small wedding, about 80 guests.  The Lord had answered my prayers. He had wiped away my tears, and had made me forget all my troubles and pains. The Lord had given me a testimony.

In short, my broken heart experience had made me discovered a part of myself that I never knew existed. It had helped me bringing into surface some of the attributes that were buried deep down in me. I can look back in time and laugh at all the pains and sufferings I have been through. Back then, I could never think I would come out of it alive.

If you have been tossed unclothed in the desert, don’t lose hope. You can still walk out of that desert and out of your unclothedness with a brand new suit, a pair of alligator shoes and a new song. I am a living testimony.  Life is a long journey; it takes us places we never dreamed of; some are good and some are not that good, but we get out every time with a new experience or knowledge. And sometimes a lesson can be learned only long time after the event. A broken heart can also be a blessing in disguise. 

Most important, a broken heart isn't a broken dream nor a broken hope. Suffer, grow and overcome.

[b]Here are some devotional words from the Bishop T.D. Jakes to help a broken heart understand that it is useless crying over spilled milk:

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,  loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone and move on.

When people can walk away from you,  let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.  And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
People leave you because they are not attached to you. And if they are not attached to you, you can't make them stay.
People leave you because they weren't born with you. And if they weren't born with you, you can't make them stay.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. 

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat,  I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to,  Let it Go.[/b]

Permission to stay

I had coped with a broken heart in the past. I would like to share my story with the forum with the hope that this story can be a source of strength and encouragement for someone.  (Please forgive any mistake you may encounter in my post. French is my first language and I am on this forum to sharpen my writing skills. Nevertheless, any feedback would be welcome).

When your heart has been broken,  you can either wallow in self pity about someone you can’t control, or you can pick up and move on, knowing that there are millions of people out there you haven’t met yet – one of whom has to be looking for someone like you.

I was very happy with my ex-girlfriend. She was a great person, a woman of my dream. We complimented each other perfectly and were so happy that God placed us into one another’s life to be a source of blessing and encouragement. We were planning to get married and were looking forward to that day. Our wedding preparation was on its early stage. Then, all of the sudden, we were forced to break up. And, this break up was very devastating.

It all started one morning when I called her for our daily prayer and devotion.
“I need to talk to you,” she told me.
“Go ahead, talk to me,” I replied.
“No, I can’t talk about this over the phone. I have to meet with you in person.”
This sounded extremely odd. We never had an argument.  We were growing very close and had shared almost everything over the phone. Now, what was it that she couldn’t talk to me over the phone? In an instant, my heart started to race as I guessed where this could be going. I’d heard that phrase before. I couldn’t wait to hear what she had to tell me; therefore, I insisted that she delivered her message over the phone.
Then she got straight to the point, “I need to take some time off from the relationship.”

Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I never saw this coming. Everything had been going smooth with our relationship. There had been no warnings, no fights, and no change in temperature. She always seemed to be happy with me and was always enthusiastic about our wedding plan. I couldn’t understand the meaning of this.
“What is the matter,” I asked her franticly.
“My ex-boyfriend had popped up back into my life. And I realized I am not over him yet. I need some time off to think of where to go from here.”
At this, I felt the ground giving out from under my bed. I was shaking. No! That couldn’t be true. I loved her so much. I started to cry, and I hang up the phone.

I didn’t believe I was about to lose the woman of my dream, my whole world was about to collapse. I gave her a call the following day with the hope of saving the relationship. I reminded her that she always told me how much of a blessing I had been into her life. I reminded her that she always told me she loved me. In one of her emails she wrote to me “I am so glad that God has blinded the eyes of the others before you because I truly think you were handpicked for me.”
I asked her if the words she always told me were all lies. She told they were all truth.
If they were all truth, how this ex –boyfriend could become an issue?
“You won’t understand,” she answered me.  Of course I couldn’t understand. 
She made up her mind to go back to her ex-boyfriend. We had our farewell prayer on the phone that day. It was very emotional. And then, she was out of my life.

The pain that occurred from this breakup was extremely devastating and one of the worst things I had ever been through. In the weeks that followed, I was crushed under the deepest agony. I couldn’t eat.  I lost so much weight. I was crying all the time over my ordeal. I would keep trying to fight the tears back. I didn't want people seeing me in this condition. And when I was at work,  I would often retreat to the bathroom to release the flood of tears.  Life became unbearable and completely empty without her. Sleeping was another challenge. I couldn’t sleep for more than an hour in a given day. Each day, I was exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally. My entire world had collapsed. She was gone. That was like ripping my heart out and leaving me to bleed to death.

I was filled with feelings of depression, loss, abandonment, anger, pain, grief, jealousy and betrayal. I was bordering insanity. I needed to see her. I needed to cry out to her. I needed to talk to her so badly but I couldn’t. She was out of my life. I resisted the urge to call her. I had already decided not to contact her. Staying in touch with her would only cause me more pain than I could handle. In addition to that, crying my pain out to her would make me look like an extreme jackass who couldn’t cope with being without her. As the say goes, “If you can’t save a relationship, at least save your dignity”.

There was no more hope.  She wasn’t going to come back.  I realized that there was nothing worth holding onto her. I was facing the monumental task of rebuilding my life after I had devoted so much to a relationship that just failed. The task seemed impossible at fist. However, little by little, I forced myself to start picking the fragments of my broken heart. I still had no desire for foods, but I started to force myself to eat. For I thought, if I don’t force myself to eat, I will surely die. On weekends, I would take myself out to movies and restaurants. I started to enjoy things that I would never imagine I could enjoy by myself. But, in spite of all my effort to forget her, the pain was still present. The pain couldn’t leave me.

To help alleviate my grief, I fully engaged in new hobbies and activities. I became very active in my church and my community. I wrote stories for my church website. I created websites for people. I became busy with my life, always doing something.   I even became very dedicated to my employer. I changed my work habits.  My hard work paid. I was named the employee of the month in the company. Then, I got a new job with double pay. In the new job, I learned new computer programming skills. I changed my entire wardrobe and bought myself a new car.

Then, I joined a fitness club and started to work out daily.  I started building muscles and put on 50 lbs.  I was no longer a skinny man but, instead I became a big and strong man, a complete different person. Everyone who would look at me could see the positive transformation that was taking place in my life. Some people were talking about the work of the Holy Spirit in my life where in fact it was the work of a broken heart.

I was introduced to a beautiful lady in the beginning of 2006. At that time, I was still nursing the wound of the broken heart, and I was very afraid of relationships.  However, one year later, I gave her a call. This was around March of 2007.  Thanks God, she was still single. I told her that I wanted to marry her. Her answer was a yes.  Everything went fast and smooth. We had our wedding on September 29th, 2007. It was a small wedding, about 80 guests.  The Lord had answered my prayers. He had wiped away my tears, and had made me forget all my troubles and pains. The Lord had given me a testimony.

In short, my broken heart experience had made me discovered a part of myself that I never knew existed. It had helped me bringing into surface some of the attributes that were buried deep down in me. I can look back in time and laugh at all the pains and sufferings I have been through. Back then, I could never think I would come out of it alive.

If you have been tossed unclothed in the desert, don’t lose hope. You can still walk out of that desert and out of your unclothedness with a brand new suit, a pair of alligator shoes and a new song. I am a living testimony.  Life is a long journey; it takes us places we never dreamed of; some are good and some are not that good, but we get out every time with a new experience or knowledge. And sometimes a lesson can be learned only long time after the event. A broken heart can also be a blessing in disguise. 

Most important, a broken heart isn't a broken dream nor a broken hope. Suffer, grow and overcome.

[b]Here are some devotional words from the Bishop T.D. Jakes to help a broken heart understand that it is useless crying over spilled milk:

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,  loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone and move on.

When people can walk away from you,  let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.  And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
People leave you because they are not attached to you. And if they are not attached to you, you can't make them stay.
People leave you because they weren't born with you. And if they weren't born with you, you can't make them stay.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. 

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat,  I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to,  Let it Go.[/b]

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