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I Need Advice Please - Family - Nairaland

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Please I Need Advice Nairalanders... I Just Discovered I'm Pregnant. / Married Ladies I Need Your Advice Please / My Sister Is Married To The Most Chronic Cheat Ever. Please I Need Advice (2) (3) (4)

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I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 2:27pm On Aug 12, 2018
I am from imo state and i have this lady from akwa ibom that i am seeing or will i say dating.
We have been together for like 9months now and i like her, she is a contract worker in the same company i work, though me i'm a staff. So one thing led to another she got pregnant for me but i did not deny it when she told me that, but the issue now is, i am not ready to get married now even though i like her very much but she keeps on pushing me to marry her and saying that her people will abandon her if she doesn't bring the man that is responsible for the pregnancy.
On the side of my family, i told my my parent about it coz the pregnancy is about 8months now but my father insisted that she delivers first before any other thing can be done. The funny part of this whole thing is that, she has not told any of her siblings or even her parent, so where is the abandonment coming from? So i persuaded her today been sunday to tell either her elder sis or brother, she yielded to me and called her elder brother in akwa ibom. She explained everything to him and the brother asked her to tell me to call him which i did. But, the thing i don't understand is that, he told me not tell anyone that my girl is pregnant even if her parent(there parent) calls me today, till i pay something to the family.
My question is this, she is the second daughter and what is the most likely price to pay to her family or even her bride price(she is from akwa ibom).
I am not financially stable for now but i have changed my mind to do something.
Re: I Need Advice Please by Nwodosis(m): 2:31pm On Aug 12, 2018
You are a perfect example of O ji amu, ejighi ego (The one that have got di*k but have got no money)!
You had a talk with her brother and you refused to inquire what it takes to have his sister as a wife and chose to come Nairaland?
You better go and do something on her head o no matter how little it is because if devil allows rooster to lay an egg for you and something negative (death on the worst scenario) happens to her during child birth, Akwa-Ibom people will tell you that they know how to use cutlass on humans better the Fulani herdsmen!

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Re: I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 2:38pm On Aug 12, 2018
Nwodosis:
You are a perfect example of O ji amu, ejighi ego!
. undecided

2 Likes

Re: I Need Advice Please by iCauseTrouble: 2:39pm On Aug 12, 2018
So na because you wan ask how much be bride price na him u make me read this long epistle?

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 2:42pm On Aug 12, 2018
iCauseTrouble:
So na because you wan ask how much be bride price na him u make me read this long epistle?
. Not about the bride price bro, as it is now what can i do for the family first, so that there daughter no go bcom issue for my hand.
Re: I Need Advice Please by alterswerve(m): 2:57pm On Aug 12, 2018
Well, I applaud you for taking responsibility. A lot of guys will runa away from this.

While I don't think the way the girl and her family are acting is the best way to start a family.

I'm guessing the family will reject her and not associate with her because of the shame.

I think you should visit her parents and tell them the whole story, including the conclusion of your father.

Tell them that you've taken responsibility for what happened and you're interested in carrying out the required requests with what you have when the time (her giving birth) is done and they should give you their requests.

Read other reasonable comments on here too

3 Likes

Re: I Need Advice Please by yomi007k(m): 2:59pm On Aug 12, 2018
martinskelly:
. Not about the bride price bro, as it is now what can i do for the family first, so that there daughter no go bcom issue for my hand.

You need to ask the daughter or the family.
Re: I Need Advice Please by dingbang(m): 3:02pm On Aug 12, 2018
Condom... Very very important.

2 Likes

Re: I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 3:21pm On Aug 12, 2018
alterswerve:
Well, I applaud you for taking responsibility. A lot of guys will runa away from this.

While I don't think the way the girl and her family are acting is the best way to start a family.

I'm guessing the family will reject her and not associate with her because of the shame.

I think you should visit her parents and tell them the whole story, including the conclusion of your father.

Tell them that you've taken responsibility for what happened and you're interested in carrying out the required requests with what you have when the time (her giving birth) is done and they should give you their requests.

Read other reasonable comments on here too
. Thanks bro, I appreciate
Re: I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 3:22pm On Aug 12, 2018
dingbang:
Condom... Very very important.
. E don happen e don happen b dat
Re: I Need Advice Please by dingbang(m): 3:30pm On Aug 12, 2018
martinskelly:
. E don happen e don happen b dat
sha just accept your fate and marry the girl.

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by Chubhie: 3:49pm On Aug 12, 2018
martinskelly:
I am from imo state and i have this lady from akwa ibom that i am seeing or will i say dating.
We have been together for like 9months now and i like her, she is a contract worker in the same company i work, though me i'm a staff. So one thing led to another she got pregnant for me but i did not deny it when she told me that, but the issue now is, i am not ready to get married now even though i like her very much but she keeps on pushing me to marry her and saying that her people will abandon her if she doesn't bring the man that is responsible for the pregnancy.
On the side of my family, i told my my parent about it coz the pregnancy is about 8months now but my father insisted that she delivers first before any other thing can be done. The funny part of this whole thing is that, she has not told any of her siblings or even her parent, so where is the abandonment coming from? So i persuaded her today been sunday to tell either her elder sis or brother, she yielded to me and called her elder brother in akwa ibom. She explained everything to him and the brother asked her to tell me to call him which i did. But, the thing i don't understand is that, he told me not tell anyone that my girl is pregnant even if her parent(there parent) calls me today, till i pay something to the family.
My question is this, she is the second daughter and what is the most likely price to pay to her family or even her bride price(she is from akwa ibom).
I am not financially stable for now but i have changed my mind to do something.

When one thing was leading to another with you sowing your wild oats raw, It never occurred to you that the possibilities of you fathering a baby increases with each drop of your DNA?

You should work on your ability to anticipate challenges/problems as a result of your actions and inaction before they occur . It would save you money,time and stress. I personally saute you for accepting responsibility instead of taking the easy way out. You have the blessings of our ancestors to proceed to Akwa Ibom for the long list.

3 Likes

Re: I Need Advice Please by keepingmum: 3:51pm On Aug 12, 2018
Marry that girl NOW, because if that girl dies with ur child or during delivery, you will firsg marry the corpse, sleep with the corpse for 3 nights, before you now come back to her family to annouce het death; then perform burial rites and ceremony.


You have been warned!!! Your father will not help u if anything happens to that girl because na her village cheifs go de deal wt u and your family that period (as the custodians of tradition)

Next Time u wee only do raw when you can afford the implications
Re: I Need Advice Please by Chubhie: 3:54pm On Aug 12, 2018
keepingmum:
Marry that girl NOW, because if that girl dies with ur child or during delivery, you will firsg marry the corpse, sleep with the corpse for 3 nights, before you now come back to her family to annouce het death; then perform burial rites and ceremony.


You have been warned!!! Your father will not help u if anything happens to that girl because na her village cheifs go de deal wt u and your family that period (as the custodians of tradition)

Next Time u wee only do raw when you can afford the implications

@ OP, Dont let this scare you into action. Proceed from a place of love for your unborn child and the love you've got for your woman.

4 Likes

Re: I Need Advice Please by Chubhie: 3:57pm On Aug 12, 2018
keepingmum:
Marry that girl NOW, because if that girl dies with ur child or during delivery, you will firsg marry the corpse, sleep with the corpse for 3 nights, before you now come back to her family to annouce het death; then perform burial rites and ceremony.


You have been warned!!! Your father will not help u if anything happens to that girl because na her village cheifs go de deal wt u and your family that period (as the custodians of tradition)

Next Time u wee only do raw when you can afford the implications
I can already imagine how you plan to deal with him in your shrine as the chief priest/priestess.

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by Nobody: 4:04pm On Aug 12, 2018
Ask your woman what the marriage process is like in her place.

Go and show yourself to her family. Go with some of your family members like siblings and uncles. You can also go with some of the people highly respected by her parents in case the man has a double barreled gun in his house.

Go with some gifts and money and present them. Your woman should be able to tell you what's appropriate to bring along.

Do it and do it quick.

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 4:07pm On Aug 12, 2018
keepingmum:
Marry that girl NOW, because if that girl dies with ur child or during delivery, you will firsg marry the corpse, sleep with the corpse for 3 nights, before you now come back to her family to annouce het death; then perform burial rites and ceremony.


You have been warned!!! Your father will not help u if anything happens to that girl because na her village cheifs go de deal wt u and your family that period (as the custodians of tradition)

Next Time u wee only do raw when you can afford the implications
oga which one b ur own na, mind u, I'm not perturbed at all

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 4:12pm On Aug 12, 2018
Ioannes:
Ask your woman what the marriage process is like in her place.

Go and show yourself to her family. Go with some of your family members like siblings and uncles. You can also go with some of the people highly respected by her parents in case the man has a double barreled gun in his house.

Go with some gifts and money and present them. Your woman should be able to tell you what's appropriate to bring along.

Do it and do it quick.
Thanks bro, my work is always tying me down but the elder brother said no need to come that they will send me the list, so I can pay the necessary ones before she delivers.

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by Nobody: 4:34pm On Aug 12, 2018
martinskelly:
Thanks bro, my work is always tying me down but the elder brother said no need to come that they will send me the list, so I can pay the necessary ones before she delivers.

Ok. I guess that's a good option. But it seems you aren't on speaking terms with your woman. I'd expect that you'd be making these arrangements together.

All the best.

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by iupac120: 4:51pm On Aug 12, 2018
Please 'sirs'(nairalanders), with utmost respect when people seek advise, it should not be a channel to demean them. We all make mistakes but the ability to know our wrongs and seek solutions should always be respected.
Thanks
God bless you!

7 Likes

Re: I Need Advice Please by prettysassygirl(f): 6:16pm On Aug 12, 2018
You were not ready to marry her but u were bleeping her,men are scum!! Most men are scum!!

3 Likes

Re: I Need Advice Please by Nobody: 6:24pm On Aug 12, 2018
martinskelly:
Thanks bro, my work is always tying me down but the elder brother said no need to come that they will send me the list, so I can pay the necessary ones before she delivers.

Bro listen and listen good. DO NOT let anyone force you to marry against your wishes. Unless you truly love this girl. What I advise you take care of her and make sure she delivers safely. Then take care of the child. People here are only trying to blackmail you into marrying her. Mistakes happen don't carry a cross which you aren't ready to carry o. Marriage no be joke you must be truly ready in body, mind and spirit.

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by victorian(f): 6:44pm On Aug 12, 2018
My issue with the op is this :

Why Bleep her mercilessly and raw for that matter, if you were not ready for marriage or ready to take care of the product of sex.

Some men never cease to amaze me.. If Na sex, they get strength and can do it all day long. But when belle enter, they become as lukewarm as a mouse. Smhhh.

Anyways op, do the needful. You are an adult and a working one at that.
Next time., u will zip up!
Re: I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 8:40pm On Aug 12, 2018
prettysassygirl:
You were not ready to marry her but u were bleeping her,men are scum!! Most men are scum!!
. Madam calm down, I never said i won't marry her
Re: I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 8:46pm On Aug 12, 2018
victorian:
My issue with the op is this :

Why Bleep her mercilessly and raw for that matter, if you were not ready for marriage or ready to take care of the product of sex.

Some men never cease to amaze me.. If Na sex, they get strength and can do it all day long. But when belle enter, they become as lukewarm as a mouse. Smhhh.

Anyways op, do the needful. You are an adult and a working one at that.
Next time., u will zip up!
madam there can never be next time because i am settling down with her. I am a man i want to man up ok
Re: I Need Advice Please by QuietHammer(m): 8:46pm On Aug 12, 2018
prettysassygirl:
You were not ready to marry her but u were bleeping her,men are scum!! Most men are scum!!
She was not married to him yet she was bleeping him, women are whores. Most women are whores!!

2 Likes

Re: I Need Advice Please by victorian(f): 9:00pm On Aug 12, 2018
martinskelly:
madam there can never be next time because i am settling down with her. I am a man i want to man up ok








Halleluyah! cheesy

Thank you Lord!
That's a great decision.

Now you are talking!

Best of luck in your upcoming marriage.

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by prettysassygirl(f): 9:23pm On Aug 12, 2018
QuietHammer:

She was not married to him yet she was bleeping him, women are whores. Most women are whores!!
Sharrap

1 Like

Re: I Need Advice Please by QuietHammer(m): 9:49pm On Aug 12, 2018
prettysassygirl:

Sharrap
Lol
Re: I Need Advice Please by martinskelly(m): 10:12pm On Aug 12, 2018
QuietHammer:

She was not married to him yet she was bleeping him, women are whores. Most women are whores!!
Help me tell her o, abi na only man dey bl**p woman no, shey woman no dey bl**p man ni

4 Likes

Re: I Need Advice Please by ednut1(m): 10:12pm On Aug 12, 2018
Re: I Need Advice Please by Nobody: 10:22pm On Aug 12, 2018
You've told your parents; now you two should tell hers, especially so you could know what's required of you before marrying their daughter. Good luck.

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