Here's the scene, guy meets girl at a concert they both perform in and they exchange numbers and start calling each other n exchanging text messages. They seem to be getting close, when one fateful day, girl recieves a text from this stranger ( a girl) telling her never to call the boy's number again. Girl tells boy bout it n he denies knowing who did it. They continue normally as friendz till she gets another msg from the same girl and another and another, till she gets 10 messages from this stranger threatening her to leave the boy alone or face the music. The boy eventually explains to girl that its a female friend of his that was goin crazy.end of story is boy claims d girl sending d msgs aint his girlfriend but just a close friend n boy stops communicating with new girl. I was jus wondering if a lady should freak out when another girl gets close to their 'supposed man'

dunno if itz ma nature or sumthing but am neva da jealous type. I won't react anyhow afterall, if he wanted me, he would have come 4 me not da other person and ermmmmmm ama move on and find sum1 else if i want a relationship..2 me, it ain't a big deal

really beats me why some ladies will never get it into their heads that a guy will never fight for you!!!

lol@snazzy, true dat!

Hmmm. Just wondering if this is a women-only thread?

Some girls know they have no control over their boyfriend so they try to go for the rivals.

I know of a girl who's boyfriend jilted for a younger girl in the school [that was when I was in secondary school]. Let's say an SS3 boy was going out with his classmate who he broke up with. Some time later, the boy got himself an SS2 girl. The jilted girl was jealous but she wasn't on speaking terms with her former boy so she vented her anger on the SS2 girl since she was her junior. It got to the point that the SS2 girl begged off the relationship.

Well what i can say is that, some boy are found of playing bad games with girls. But all thesame i will say, girls need not to just give up like that, if she claim to love her man deeply cos she will stand and say to her self, this is my man and not for another woman but not to fight . We never can tell, someone might be playing prank on both of them even yr best friend might be the one out of jealousy.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

There are too many men in the world for that drama. Now if they are just friends fine; guys can have friends too. But if I feel that another girl is moving in on my man and he is letting it continue, then I think its time for me to be moving on to something bigger and better as well. He cant have all the fun.

when it comes to young people bushdrums are very fast.
Any girl in her right mind tries to find out as much as possible about her date .
And if she is going out with a boy that has a steady , she is playing, i call it gambling cos no one can tell what she wants.
I never went to face any of these girls.
But i let the boy friend know that i know , And i let him know that when i make up my mind am gone i don't stray too long on a problem.

Personally, I think defending your territory is not a bad thing as long as u dont do self-degrading stuff like fighting or creating public drama. If my girl was just a bit jealous - it would go some way in showing me just how dear i am to her, Jealousy is a requirement in any relationship if it is to be successful but not the type that would make u fight. One thing ladies dont realise is that guyz like to feel secure, if ur woman were romantic in the house and protective outside, u wanna spend more time with her.
Even God is a jealous God and since we are created in his image and likeness, ought to be a lil jealous.

There was this boyfriend i had i was about 22 and his ex kept on comming over but when she saw me she will not say a word. I left the room for them to talk.
Once he had to go to her house to see her mum (his mum sent him message) i waited in the car.
Then one day we passed in the car he stopped to give her a lift. she did not get into the car but just turned her face away. But i saw she was crying and i felt sorry for her.
I knew deep in me she loved him more than i deed and that if he dropped me for her i will be able to deal with it better than her and get over it faster. (then i was already burned)
I even ask him if he dose not want to have her back But he did not.
He did wounder why i ask and i explained to him that i could see that she really loved him so bad and i was sure he was her first love. You know what they say about the first cut being the deepest.

Very nice gesture i must say, but if that was me, i'd feel perhaps u were trying to tell me i didnt know what i wanted, I really dislike it when approaching a girl and she turns around to say i could try dating her friend, Apart from giving me the message stated above, you'll also have me wondering whether u even care about me - trying to let go of our relationship just like that, u never know just exactly how deep such thoughts go,

love is not only about holding on but also letting go.

mamaput:

love is not only about holding on but also letting go.

Yeah it easier said than done O!! i mean you need plenti courage to let go want u dearly love.
In my book of principle, fight'g over a Man aint allowed at all.
But you can use your femine wiles to give him what i call "territorial Marking".
Emotionally & physically .But when he seem not to be worth it he should be tossed not fought over!
I don't blame anyone for being jealous but every thing should be moderate.

I did not say it was easy . i did love him and i owed him a lot.
He helped me get over a messy relationship.
Do you know the feeling when after one man none is good enough foryou and you are only down and depressed. and all of a sudden someone crosses your way and gives you life a meaning.
Thats how it was with him.
Even the way it ended. we just suddenly stopped seeing each other and started dating other people.
Its not very often that a relationship ends without stress.

if you've got something good going you'd want to protect and preserve it!
i am by my nature very jealous and possessive.  
in my book, however, no physical fighting is allowed, infact it shouldnt be conceived at all, i mean if it has to get to that point then the man isnt worth it!
i cant stand the thought of another woman getting a hold of my man's affection o,
i will react but got no business with the woman.

however i must say i have been lucky in this regard.

I dont want to keep what i have to hold.
if he stays then on his own free will

Like i said if he's not worth it toss him.!!
Most girls can't becuase of the saying that female are more than men.(DAT I DONT BELIEVE
Aferrall all weekends and even most week day someone is getting married.
I also engcourage letting go 100%.
Not just as per relationship but also in everyday lives.

mamaput:

I did not say it was easy . i did love him and i owed him a lot.
He helped me get over a messy relationship.
Do you know the feeling when after one man none is good enough foryou and you are only down and depressed. and all of a sudden someone crosses your way and gives you life a meaning.
Thats how it was with him.
Even the way it ended. we just suddenly stopped seeing each other and started dating other people.
Its not very often that a relationship ends without stress.

I was once in a similiar suitation but the i realise he wasnt who i wanted but someone dat could heal the wound at that time!
so i let him fly without discusing the other girl.he never came back like i tot and i could move on happliy

if he stays then on his own free will

Thats a wrong view point, it only goes to show u dont care about him, cos if u did, u'd not be this carefree about whether he stays or leaves, u'd make him stay.
One thing i've discovered that many ladies have failed to understand is that we men also love attention, the moment u stop giving attention to ur man, u've opened the doors to other women in his life and no matter how God-fearing or controlled he is, he will surely snap someday. I'm only speaking my mind and not insinuating anything, but if i were that guy, i'd feel unwanted and that will make me lose interest in the relationship cos afterall, u dont care

you got me wrong I do care for a man , and i do give him my attention,
Every man needs space, some have hobbies.
Some men are happy with going out with their male friends for a drink or so .Or some have hobbies and would like to Travel to see car racing or what ever.Fine by me

But i will not make a fool of myself when it comes to another woman.
Am 42 now and i have friends that are fighting the husband every day because of woman story,
These are men in their midlife crise

Thats a wrong view point, it only goes to show u don't care about him, because if u did, u'd not be this carefree about whether he stays or leaves, u'd make him stay.
One thing i've discovered that many ladies have failed to understand is that we men also love attention, the moment u stop giving attention to your man, u've opened the doors to other women in his life and no matter how God-fearing or controlled he is, he will surely snap someday. I'm only speaking my mind and not insinuating anything, but if i were that guy, i'd feel unwanted and that will make me lose interest in the relationship because afterall, u don't care

So if a man wants to see if i care he will go out with other women?
so i should go out and fight him and the other women?
I can fight for a relationship if there are other problems but not if the man strays.
I will not belittle myself then am too proud for that.

And if he loves me he will stay and do other silly things but not women.

I can fight for a relationship if there are other problems but not if the man strays.

Best statement you made above, only, i'd like to add that u can stop a man from straying if u give him attention, Some men are bad and no matter how much attention they recieve, they wont change, I dont mean those types, but as a woman, u should know how to keep ur man - there must be something he cannot resist that only u can provide for him, something u do best, every man has a weak point and u should have known his own. Use it wisely

And if he loves me he will stay and do other silly things but not women.

Thats the not-so-good statement u made. I'm not in ur shoes so i really dont know what you're experiencing, but from a general scope, ladies like to say - if he really loves me, I think its getting over rated and is turning into a stereotype, and guyz are see all these happen. We are becoming aware that naija women want to be loved but dont love in return!

All I can say i got my ex out of a lot of messy situations.even lied for him etc.Once he drove without a permitt and had an accident . He did not know what to do so i went to meet the people and made it clear to them that if they wanted their money from the insurance they better say it was me that was driving.
That is just one example.
But if it had to do with another woman i would have told him to go.

May I voice my opinion here? If I'm involved with a girl [or woman] and she notices someone else putting moves on me, I'd think she's petty if she threatened her. On the other hand, if I've already broken up with her for long and she comes to make trouble in my later relationships, I'll sit her down and give her a severe tongue-lashing. Trust me.

I had a similar situation. I was with this man for a few months. He was 19. I was 18 and it was lovely. Then in the spring he didn;t want to see me anymore. I was sad, so I cried but I eventually got over it. At the end of that summer he called me out of the blue. I was flattered,naive, inexperienced (he was the only person I'd ever kissed) and such so I went back with him. It was all fine until that December. I had an acquaintance who was talking about this girl she didn't like but who had the same major as her. I was only listening to be nice b/c she was venting. Then she said she couldn't believe this annoying friend was dating "[my guy]". I nearly had a heart attack! W/o saying much I got her to tell me that they'd been dating since "last spring" and all the expensive things she buys him. So I asked him and he denied it. Then we both went home for winter/Christmas break. I was so upset. I decided to wash my hands of him. Over the break, he sent me lots of text messages, never daring to call me. Finally he called and said he was coming to visit a friend of his, who I knew, living in my city. I was so excited that I said I'd drive to the friend's house. But the next day I didn't and I could tell he was non-plussed about it. When the spring semester started I tried again to forget him but I didn't and we resumed. But, I never trusted him again. I thought of him and spoke to him w/ lots of sarcasm. Then the acquaintance/informant told me more about the supposed other gf. So I called him and questioned him again. Turns out this other girl used to pay his rent in the summer along w/ all the gifts, but he swore their relationship was never sexual. I didn't know what to think b/c the girl wasn't so pretty (not being mean, I was actually so upset that I took her picture and took an informal poll w/ the men at my job!) But it was more than my self-esteem could handle so I broke it off a few weeks later. I have nothing against the girl b/c she was the fool buying him things while he claims not to know her name (saying "oh that girl" and such). It really hurt though. I can feel it at the pit of my stomach.

The first cut is the deepest.

Sorry about that . I hope you're happy in your present relationship?

Not presently in a relationship. But I'm content. Life goes on.

Well,i dont think guys are wot dat kinda stress of quarellin n shoutin,its somthin my aunts,sisters,mum n my blood brother av told me.I cld remember last val wen my guy told me he wil b travellin n he wont b back till d next day,just got 2 his house wit d intention of passin d nyt,bt on gettin dea,i saw anoda lady cookin in da kitchen n my guy came in a few minutes later,i waited 4 d lady 2 finish preparin d meal,then she served,i picked up the meal,ate som of it wit my guy ,commended d lady,told d guy dat he's got such a gud cook n i left.Though we broke after dat since he was unable 2 convince me dat he aint datin d gurl,i knw d gurl was mad @ me bt she cld only do nothing.

mamaput:

I don't want to keep what i have to hold.
if he stays then on his own free will

Thank you, jare. No amount of fighting will keep a man by your side. If he wants to leave you, he will make up a story & disappear, or deliberately do things that will make you get fed up with him, so you can ask him to take a hike.

Men always know who they want to be with, so no amount of fighting another lady in order to keep his attention on you, will make him stay.

whitelexi:

Thats a wrong view point, it only goes to show u don't care about him, because if u did, u'd not be this carefree about whether he stays or leaves, u'd make him stay.

Haba! Is he a six-year old kid? So, she should make him stay? Should she tie a rope round his neck & drag him to the altar? Na wa o! I thought it was supposed to be the other way round. Has he ever done anything to make her stay with him & believe their relationship is for real? If a man loves a woman, he would do anything to keep her by his side.

bottom line: Its a bleeping FREE world! 'nuff said!

dunno why most gurls won't just be like moi