Tough one .. please quit the job, for the sake of peace. also tell him you're truly sorry for not telling home initially and it will be unfair for him to rub it on your face besides there's nothing too hard for God to do. It is well

Where people dey see all this local men to marry. No one person dey with her husband and no kid. Go and quit ur job make he use strategy kill u. After three kids Biko nu. What is he still looking for.
Na.now.u go find work wey dey pay well oh. Cos.he.wants.to release.plans. Instead of him to thank God that no more menses and.dey nack dey go

[quote author=ehis05 post=71187517]they took there bulshit no doubt buh trust me most dint do it for the rest of there lives..a lot can change in a twinkle of an eye...first tin u shud learn to do as a married woman is to shot that door of leaving..and face whatever u wud with prayer..there is this woman i knw of that cries to my haus then wen i was younger either the man abused her or the mans child who is her step child insulted her...ah tyms it even got physical....dat case is rare sha...she was always praying most of d time even though she spoke abt neva goin bck her children made her went bck..buh today dey ar living as happy as ever....its neva easy buh it mayb worth it at last[/quotpe]
Dumbest advice. U haven't seen people die from violence. ABI. Reserve ur advice for ur kids

Wilfredpat22:
The truth is that you deceived him. Well we all deceive men one way or the other. You started dating when you were 29, what happened between 21-28, you were sleeping around with married men I guess

This is as a repercussion for the evils you must have done in school and to other women’s homes. Now yours will be shattered. We ladies don’t hear or listen and eventually it will lead to our downfall


Let your husband look for some one fertile and responsible. By the way Are you sure those kids are his?

Before you Judge her, I suggest you read the story again cos your vision has skipped the part where the OP said she was not sexually active then. Btw not everybody who didn't date early was sleeping with married men.....I know I didn't and I didn't date early by choice. People sometimes have reason for making life choices which are informed by a lot of factors. Please, don't judge people when you have never being in their shoes!!!

flyca:

This your comment is outrightly evil. I had my first boyfriend in university and we dated for 4 years but we never had sex! Nothing beneath the dress! And I never had sex until I was 30. Not all men are irresponsible like you!
FOOOOOOOOL!

but you've been giving it to other guys deceiving the poor boy.. chaii!!

ObservantFellow:


Lol.. Point me out to that man who was 100% honest to his spouse.
Even himself wasn't entirely honest in all about him. Things are only as important as we let them be. In this case, he is blowing the ish out of proportions. A woman had triplets already, what is he looking for again with reproduction?

and how do you know he is not honest 100%..not everybody is dishonest abeg

msylva2147:
I guess you are still a kid that's why you don't know what marriage is all about and issues as this will make you quit marriage definitely you marry more than 100 yet not stayed in the marriage. What if she didn't tell him the truth at all? What would he do if she had told him that she went to see the doctor and this is what the doctor discovered but she is lucky to have her babies? Is POF in anyway a disease to you? This is a simple thing that one can easily say you should have told me what if we were not lucky to have such kids? I Please next time if there's anything of this nature don't keep it away from me and move on. Then what will be your advice if she had cheated on him? Your take will probably be to execute her. Had it been he has been the one begging the woman to stay in the marriage and she finally come up with such reason would he have said the same thing?

you that you are not a kid..are you done?

Woman,you will become the greatest fool on earth the day you quit you r job because of one flimsy man's ego.

Does he want a football team?you have both sexes so what else does he want you to do?Some of them come into marriage with azospermia and you see their wives ttcing and suffering not knowing its from the man.
Let him pay your salary for 1 Yr upfront so you can start up a biz if he insists.If he can't then he should swerve.

[quote author=ndindiatu post=71203724][/quote] shut d f up niga or whosoever u are..if u read my first post i clearly stated except if domestic violence is involved..i didnt quote u the lady i quoted must hav gotten d point.. Learn to mind ur business or ask questions just incase u miss sumtin or if sumtins are beyond ur understanding...dumb ass

Goldmaxx:
but you've been giving it to other guys deceiving the poor boy.. chaii!!

Giving what to other guys? Can't you read? Are/were you an undergraduate at 30? Morally-bankrupt soul! Get out of my mention!

Admitwithschola:


Bro, I like this mhen. Thanks for encouraging the sister. You hit reality no be small.

Me sef think and hope the husband will try to forget about it. Unfortunately, I think I've got this her husband kind trait, God helping me.

Thanks again bro. Your write-up made my day

oh , thanks for the reply to my post , appreciate the feedback .

DaddyNimo:

may all males in your generation marry a lying deceiving used up biitch like the op.... it's girls like her that will hide deir AS genotype from a man and marry him out of selfish interest. you spoil ur womb finish come dump yourself on top one gentle man dey form good wife. fork �

You will be surprised that your spouse has kept a worst secret from you because she really knew the kind of animal you are and people in your category doesn't deserve sincerity because if they choose to be sincere to you you might end up taking advantage of them instead prefer to keep it to themselves so would continue to wallow in your stupidity.

Biglittlelois:


Aww, this is touching, i was almost crying reading through your comment, thank you for seeing things from her angle, had it been she told him before marriage, he would have left and she would loose at the end, honestly i dont blame her, God really saw her heart and blessed her with the triplets,

Op it is well with you, he will come around soon, give him time.

thanks to you too , i appreciate and we pray God fix our respective homes .

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

It's a serious issue.

flyca:

Giving what to other guys? Can't you read? Are/were you an undergraduate at 30? Morally-bankrupt soul! Get out of my mention!

you are very wicked. how can you date a guy for 4 freaking years with giving him toto.. Nawao

U be real odo. Why Nigerians no get sense. As you have gotten children u would have planned with the doctor as if u don't know what is wrong with u,then run some tests. Booza the result comes out POF. Then the case will be nobody fault. He will be by your side appreciating you till the rest of ur life. That secret would have remained with you till you die. But as it is ,if u like ur marriage obey him.

Belafonte:

Lol. Go help am pack her load na.

issorite.

Goldmaxx:
you are very wicked. how can you date a guy for 4 freaking years with giving him toto.. Nawao

Dirty disgusting mind!

msylva2147:
And what makes you think that quitting her job is the ultimate way of the children's safety and what has the quitting of the job got to do with the with children, as far as I'm concerned this man is just being childish with the way he is going. What do you think will happen if she had decided not to still tell him the truth and pretend it just happened what will he do?

bro, I am not going to argue with you or anyone about this. all that matters to me is the union between the man and woman. the lady knows what is best for her. beside, we have not heard from the man. the man never had issues with her job until the news broke to him and if you are a man, I pray nothing like this befall you. no man wants to hear story of loosing his child especially when he knows he can't have another which brings me to conclude that the man is paranoid which is understandable. she just need to calm the man down assuring him that she doesn't need to quit her job to assure the children safety, but if he insist let her do it just till everything calms down. hence the man can provide for them. don't say the man is childish because he's paranoid, everyone have their own way of reacting to situations but at this point it is the safety and continuation of the union that matters.

Your husband is over-reacting. We don't have to live in the past but in the future. If you have not given birth, then may be his reaction is justified..but you've got three kids for him.

Please don't quit your job unless there are other issues we don't know.

stuntman007:


bro, I am not going to argue with you or anyone about this. all that matters to me is the union between the man and woman. the lady knows what is best for her. beside, we have not heard from the man. the man never had issues with her job until the news broke to him and if you are a man, I pray nothing like this befall you. no man wants to hear story of loosing his child especially when he knows he can't have another which brings me to conclude that the man is paranoid which is understandable. she just need to calm the man down assuring him that she doesn't need to quit her job to assure the children safety, but if he insist let her do it just till everything calms down. hence the man can provide for them. don't say the man is childish because he's paranoid, everyone have their own way of reacting to situations but at this point it is the safety and continuation of the union that matters.

I understand what you are trying to say but the question here is that how sure are we that this said man is willing to let go of what has happened? You never can tell after she might have agreed to quit the job he will still jump to a different condition and one thing you should know is that finding a job in this country is a hot cake and quitting the job is not a good idea because if he later calm down and decided that she should start working again the job probably must have been taken by another there by sending her into a fresh labour market in search of job. Though we have not heard from the man whether he has been asking her to quit her job before the development but if he using the development as a bargaining tool then I must say he is being childish.

msylva2147:
You will be surprised that your spouse has kept a worst secret from you because she really knew the kind of animal you are and people in your category doesn't deserve sincerity because if they choose to be sincere to you you might end up taking advantage of them instead prefer to keep it to themselves so would continue to wallow in your stupidity.

well if she had kept a secret it better die with her, cos the day she confessed is the end the marriage ends...if you have no womb lemme know from the beginning, if you're AS lemme know from start, don't wait and confess later and expect forgiveness... fork all dat.

thorpido:
Sometimes people talk too much!
I don't support keeping secrets from your partner but at the level you were(after you had the triplets),all you had to tell your hubby was that you noticed your period had stopped coming.You didn't need to go into all that details!
It will bring distrust and make him react exactly as he is doing.Unfortunately,I don't know how it can ever change with him again.Men keep these things like a scar.
Keep apologizing and hope he can soft pedal.

Whatever you do,don't quit your job.

I've been reading through the comments to see if anyone would say this and voila, here you are!!!

She didn't have any business telling the husband about the past...she should have just pretended she's noticing for the first time and let them go see a doctor and the man would be happy he even had three kids before it occurred.

What was the essence of telling it all?

Love sometimes can make us do funny things...

Artistree:

I've been reading through the comments to see if anyone would say this and voila, here you are!!!

She didn't have any business telling the husband about the past...she should have just pretended she's noticing for the first time and let them go see a doctor and the man would be happy he even had three kids before it occurred.

What was the essence of telling it all?

Love sometimes scan make us do funny things...

That's all.Why did she have to dig up everything?

I really sympathize with the op. The mistake has been done already. My opinion is that she should urge her husband to marry a second wife, while retaining her job. The husband would be able to have all the children he desires & she would still have a source of income without having to depend on him for anything. Before critics try to crucify me: the man does not have to put the 2 wives under one roof & even if all his attention might go to wife 2, the first wife should put it @ the back of her mind that God forbids, if the husband should die today, life would still go on. I bet u that if she succumbs to the man & stops working, her suffering will know no bounds.

CSTR1005:

No responsible man will allow you to take his children away.

If you steal them away, he will hunt you down.

You can leave since you don't like stress, but not with the children.

Says who ?

SMEConsult:
Just in case this will happen to someone else.

Never tell a person you've been keeping secrets from them especially your spouse. No one wants to hear that.

If you know he's already showing of discovering, don't go on your knees and start spilling.

Tell him you'll see a doctor. Go see a doctor different from the one that treated you. Get the result and cry all the way home.

He will be happy you have 3 kids at once and most likely share testimony of how God knew ahead and gave you the 3 kids before the mishap occurred to shame the devil.

He even now see it as a free pass to sleep with you more since there's not gonna be any fear of pregnancy.

And.... most importantly, your marriage will be protected.

Sometimes attracting sympathy is way better than apologizing.

Now, the deed has been done. Pull on with him. He may never trust you again but there are smart ways to make him do that. Sorry, private message for that.

Yeap. Except the truth comes out in the most unplanned, unexpected way. Then What

Please madam never you quit your job, your husband is more wicked than you.

Ezypretty:
Please madam never you quit your job, your husband is more wicked than you.

Now this is harsh.

Kinggnicole:
You were wrong and you apologised.
I just hope you are not considering quiting your job. He's already rubbing it in your face that you are not fertile. Imagine adding jobless to the mix. He'll rub that in too forgetting he asked you to leave.

He's already abusing you emotionally. You have to be strong dear. And by being strong you have to know when to leave.

You lot are unbelieveable and misleading your fellow females with your erratic and insane advices. So being is simply knowing when to leave. Many females of this generation are truly doomed.