Tonim:

Okay I get your point. But what about elementary & high school ? There are very decent ones in Nigeria (as obtains in the west), albeit
they cost a lot. May be high school at least.

The thing is, I want my kids (none yet) to have a feel for our culture and I think the best way to accomplish this is for them
to go home and school for a while.

Now, as far as college/university goes, that's a whole different ball game all together.

I got you. .
But the point is. . . .Relocating or settling down in Nigeria is never in Ma Agenda. and for the fact that i want me kids to be around me
Leaving them to study in Nigeria is absurd. . . i don't even Wanna think about it . .
But that doesn't mean ''we'' (Me and 'em kids) wouldn't be visiting Naija often for holidays. . .of course we would.
But as for them to study in Nigeria. . .to me its like a punishment to the kids. . . .thats a "No go" area.

It's not necessary to spank children but sometimes it's called for.
When the child is getting out of hand - spank the child very well. . . .

The Sly:

I got you. .
But the point is. . . .Relocating or settling down in Nigeria is never in Ma Agenda. and for the fact that i want me kids to be around me
Leaving them to study in Nigeria is absurd. . . i don't even Wanna think about it . .
But that doesn't mean ''we'' (Me and 'em kids) wouldn't be visiting Naija often for holidays. . .of course we would.
But as for them to study in Nigeria. . .to me its like a punishment to the kids. . . .thats a "No go" area.

Good Point @ Sly. This is exactly what I am battling with; I can't relocate to the place (not in the near future anyway), want
the kids to have a feel for our culture (speak the language fluently), yet, want the kids to be around me.

Perhaps the traveling home thingy would do. Something to think/ brainstorm about sha

you have issues if spanking is the way to talk sense into your kids. weren't all the corrupt leaders, agberos, omo ota's spanked too. rather than use words, u use a stick.

his_grace:

obviosuly you don't know whats going on in Nigeria - anyway -you said - you can't allow your kids - but go to the private schools in Nigeria and see that 75 per cent of the pupils/students there are pupils/students whose parents live abroad and have sent the wards to Nigeria to school - why - because thjere is a big diference between schooling and educating - in America - pupils go to school - while in Nigeria - pupils/students get educated - you grab?

There really are good private schools in Nigeria, no doubt about that. But like Sly said, I want to be with my children while they grow up

his_grace:




Because in America - you allow your kids to rot until he/she slaps your face - but in Nigeria - you teach them from the begining - u mold them - the same way we were molded while growing up - else - let them grow up in the western world and watch them grow up to become what you never wish for them.

Some kids in America even call their parents by name ! That respect your elders thing is seriously lacking I have to admit

his_grace:


In Britain - spanking was banned - but go there today and see how rotten kids have become - at 15 they are already pregnant - at 16 / 19 - they are already fathers - what kind of society is that?

Na so we see am oo, you can't discipline your kids or else you are tagged an abusive parent and may have your children taken away from you.

They said we should be practicing "time out" LMAO !

When the child is getting out of hand - spank the child very well. . . .

can u define what u mean by spank the child very well??

Some kids in America even call their parents by name ! That respect your elders thing is seriously lacking I have to admit

i disagree, it's more of a cultural difference. they may call their parents by names(fine in their culture) but lots of americans do care about the welfare of their parents. there are out of line kids in nigeria too so it's funny how people chastize the west. dont' african americans spank their kids?

Na so we see am oo, you can't discipline your kids or else you are tagged an abusive parent and may have your children taken away from you.

it's abuse if ur kids are emotionally or physically hurt from the spanking

It's not necessary, But its needed once in a while

Its abuse the moment your kids are afraid of you as a parent

-

but go there today and see how rotten kids have become - at 15 they are already pregnant - at 16 / 19 - they are already fathers - what kind of society is that?

Same in Nigeria . . . .Same errwhere!!!!!!

Because in America - you allow your kids to rot until he/she slaps your face - but in Nigeria - you teach them from the begining - u mold them - the same way we were molded while growing up - else - let them grow up in the western world and watch them grow up to become what you never wish for them.

So u mean all them kids raised in the west are spoilt?
What about Nigerian dudes that are using their parents for rituals right there in Nigeria? were they raised in the west too?

Was She raised in The west as well?
All those political Adedibu's thugs. . .were they all raised in the west?
What about those cultist in the Nigeria's universities. . .were they all raised in the west? last time i checked, they were counting scores with human lives.

but go to the private schools in Nigeria and see that 75 per cent of the pupils/students there are pupils/students whose parents live abroad and have sent the wards to Nigeria to school

Ok how many hapless Nigerians have the opportunity to go to private school? lets say 20% of the whole population of 130mills?
In the west. . .it doesnt marra. .Public or 10. . .you are good to go.

4 Him:

Its abuse the moment your kids are afraid of you as a parent

Yes, it is. But there is a limit David. I can't live with a disrespective child. I never disrespected my mom, and I absolutely wnt take it from my children. Ok, maybe I rolled my eyes once or twice But a child that does not listen to words needs some egba(cain)

bawomolo:


i disagree, it's more of a cultural difference. they may call their parents by names(fine in their culture)

What cultural difference ? A culture that imbibes not respecting your elders ?

I went to this Caribbean place the other day to buy something, can you believe this girl told the woman

attending to us, adding "you need to shut up". This girl was about 15-17 years old and the lady had to be
in her 50s or 60s. How often do you see this in Nigeria ?

bawomolo:


but lots of americans do care about the welfare of their parents. there are out of line kids in nigeria too so it's funny how people chastize the west. don't' african americans spank their kids?

hehe, you really don't want us to go on about african american kids do you ?

Tonim:

What cultural difference ? A culture that imbibes not respecting your elders ?

I went to this Caribbean place the other day to buy something, can you believe this black girl told the woman

attending to us, adding "you need to shut up". This girl was about 15-17 years old and the lady had to be
in her 50s or 60s. How often do you see this in Nigeria ?

Omo, It sickens me too!

What cultural difference ? A culture that imbibes not respecting your elders ?

a culture that treats their elders differently, it is disrespects looking at it from our lens. these elders don't mind, so how is it disrespect. the thing is western people want to be look as young and hip as possible. they hate being called old.  

attending to us, adding "you need to shut up". This girl was about 15-17 years old and the lady had to be
in her 50s or 60s. How often do you see this in Nigeria ?

chalk it up to bad parenting, and how are u sure the kid hasn't being spanked, given lots of black kids in the US are spanked 2.  the problem is beyond spanking.

Tonim:

Good Point @ Sly. This is exactly what I am battling with; I can't relocate to the place (not in the near future anyway), want
the kids to have a feel for our culture (speak the language fluently), yet, want the kids to be around me.

Perhaps the traveling home thingy would do. Something to think/ brainstorm about sha

Geddit!

Cadet:

Omo, It sickens me too!

My dear, it is completely nuts !

bawomolo:



chalk it up to bad parenting, and how are u sure the kid hasn't being spanked, given lots of black kids in the US are spanked 2. the problem is beyond spanking.

It's not bad parenting abeg, it's the society that keeps you from disciplining your child and like I said earlier, imbibes disrespecting your elders.


@OP

I just want to state for the record that I do not support spanking children - at least for the most part.

Its abuse the moment your kids are afraid of you as a parent

True.

Spanking your kids is just a waste of time. They look forward to the spanking every time they mess up. studies has shown that it does not work. The only thing that works is to give them abundant of love and when they mess up, withdraw the love. Nothing pains a teenager than taking away the tv, play stations, Dvds and plenty of time outs.

Sweet T:

Spanking your kids is just a waste of time. They look forward to the spanking every time they mess up. studies has shown that it does not work. The only thing that works is to give them abundant of love and when they mess up, withdraw the love. Nothing pains a teenager than taking away the tv, play stations, Dvds and plenty of time outs.

So TV, Play stations, DVDS etc is a show of love? NNNNNNNNNawa o!!!!!! Those are material goods, my friend

@topic and poster
Go ghetto u'll get a good answer

It's not bad parenting abeg, it's the society that keeps you from disciplining your child and like I said earlier, imbibes disrespecting your elders.

it's bad parenting if the idea of disciplining one's kids is limited to spanking. again, those agbero's, thugged out rappers were spanked too.

@Cadet

What would you know about raising a kid ?? You still got similac on your breath. but just so you know, taking away the leisure things they like when they mess up is called "tough love" But I'm not surprise, Ekiti people use iroko tree to beat their children.

Sweet T:

@Cadet

What would you know about raising a kid ?? You still got similac on your breath. but just so you know, taking away the leisure things they like when they mess up is called "tough love" But I'm not surprise, Ekiti people use iroko tree to beat their children.

Just so you know, I know how to raise a kid better than you. when it comes to kids, dnt argue with me on that. Anyways, just admit I was right. All those material goods is not a show of love.

Se na iroko tree lo i ri. Obo(monkey), dnt forget slippers too

Yeah right, you call part time baby sitting job raising a kid ??

Sweet T:

Yeah right, you call part time baby sitting job raising a kid ??

No, I call raising my 3 siblings for 7 years raising a kid. Yes, I raised them. Dnt ask what I meant by that. Atleast, half of the stuff I know, it's barely tangible to you. You won't understand it.

yeah right. more like 3 baby sitting jobs.

Sweet T:

yeah right. more like 3 baby sitting jobs.

See what I meant. I didn't even begin coaching you yet, you're already doubting me. Oga o

@topic

spank is an understatement,i will bulldozer any of my child dat needs it

LMGBO. Jenny, i fear you o

For me, i still maintain that a little bit of spanking will do some corrections. The spanking i mean here is not a brutal thing. For example before you spank your ward , just make him/her understand why they are being spanked but not just spanking without a reason. It's all for love anyway not for hatered. I spank my kid and after some hours we settle and life goes on and that love and bond still remains there. "ti a ba fi owo otun ba omo wi, a tun fi owo osi fa mo ra "
I love my child to death but not to the extent of spearing the rod any time she derails.

That will be an option if they can't learn or listen

LMGBO. Jenny, i fear you o

u suppose fear fear naaa,y will i not spank d living daylight out of my stubborn child,all because i live in d western world or what,any child that deserves it should be given abeg,kids of this days are so stubborn that it is only when u spank their asses that they will learn