My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother - Family (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Stdomain(f): 10:31am On Apr 11, 2007 |
Yes i work but my hubby would not take money from me, men's ego, u know. It's not like he doesn't ve money to rent an apartment, just thinks it's a waste of money instead he would invest the money he would use as rent in shares, that is exactly the problem. What he doesn't realize is that the share certificates at home cannot make me happy and if things continue the way they are now, i might not be there with him when he is enjoying the dividends so he shld invest in our happiness now and when we have happily settled in our own home, we can still buy more shares or what do u guys think? |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Everbright(f): 1:12pm On Apr 11, 2007 |
BlackMamba:yOU MUST BE A BUUUUUUSH MAN yOUR LIFE TIRE ME  |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Stdomain(f): 2:16pm On Apr 11, 2007 |
Tunde,you know we are just newly married,I would hate to have a strained relationship with mama,I love her just like my own mother. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by RedLips3(f): 7:12pm On Apr 11, 2007 |
St.domain: Dont bother giving him the money. Get a place for both of you and coax him into moving there. He'll know that you are serious. I dont understand how anyone would marry someone and watch them become so miserable. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by spoilt(f): 10:05pm On Apr 11, 2007 |
St.domain: ok woman. its time to put your feminine wiles (which God gave us for a reason) to good use. you've tried all else and failed. i know that the best time to get to a man is when you are both naked in bed (and of course his mama and other interlopers are not there) need i elaborate? i dont mean for you to use it in a bad way but men are strange. they seem to listen better and make good promises when in the bedroom not in the living room. its really strange but its true. ive gone through all the posts and nothing seems to be working. try talking in the bedroom. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by mohawkchic(f): 11:46pm On Apr 11, 2007 |
[quote author=spoilt try talking in the bedroom. [quote][/quote] Am going to go out on a limb here and say am sure she'd tried that before,he would prolly wake up and ask "why r your eyes so red hunny  " "as in cryin all night for someone only for them to ask y your eyes r so red in the morning"The end result lies in your hand St.domain,so far none of the advice given on here seems to be workin for you,so i guess its up to u to use your initiative now!!! |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Nobody: 11:48pm On Apr 11, 2007 |
lol,I said it in a colorful way spoilt,broke it down in a practical way. spoilt,I salute. St Domain,I'm only saying it because you too are married,I don't advocate premarital sex . Listen to spoilt,she made a point there. Turn on your womanotrics and he'll be helping you pack in no time,it works. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Stdomain(f): 12:39pm On Apr 12, 2007 |
@Nairalanders, @ Babyosisi, spoilt, Red_lips, everyone, your posts encourages me , knowing there are people out there who really understand my situation and are ready to share some ideas.I am getting new ideas from all your posts on how to handle this issue and i will try them out. i don't mind more posts, i really want my marriage to work.Thanks. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by sirpee50(m): 4:30pm On Apr 12, 2007 |
People can easily deceive you one way or the other. Some mother-in-laws are so good to stay with and nobody can easily suggest that here. Wether you are residing with her or not bad ones are bound also. The thing is that you are unfortunate to have lived with a bad type, if at all she is bad. Also, your husband should be man enough to put you in a safe condition irrespective that mother is not two. Take heart. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by RedLips3(f): 5:44pm On Apr 12, 2007 |
Whether a mother in law is "so good" or not doesnt mean anything. No sane mother would wanna stay in her son's matrimonal home. Infact a decent one would have told him to get his own place before the wedding took place or have moved out of the family house for them. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by spoilt(f): 6:11pm On Apr 12, 2007 |
i just want you to realize that your mother in law isnt really bad. right now its a matter of territorial displays. she wants to show you that she knows her son better than you. (after all you are just some random woman that came from nowhere!  ) most mother in laws feel a little jealous of the new young fresh wife who has "taken" her son from her.anyway while you still live with her be on your best behaviour. even if you are right and shes wrong dont talk back at her. bite your tongue, clench your teeth (clench your butt cheeks if need be) and say nothing. its the hardest thing on earth but my dear at least peace will reign supreme! when she sees you arent confrontational she'll probably be less agressive. and you have to take on extra house work.yes oh. you have to proove your usefulness. if it means sweeping the whole compound everyday , doing the dishes after the entire family house has eaten and cooking all the time.we are talking humility here.it will be hard but right now its almost a matter of life and death.you should be ready to do anything. all this while you should still be working on your husband to try and move you guys out as soon as possible. by the time you and your husband are leaving she'll know she lost something and she'll miss you. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by RedLips3(f): 6:13pm On Apr 12, 2007 |
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| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by omoge(f): 8:08pm On Apr 12, 2007 |
a lady was telling us sometime ago of her experience. her mother inlaw has 2 children oversea. it's only the one in the US that the mother inlaw is always bugging to come take her abroad. she was always listening to her on the phone bugging to be taken abroad. so she now tells her husband, who was trying to say i want to bring her. she said she told him, fine. but it is a must you buy 2 tickets. one for her own mother and one for his mother, she said she told her husband the marriage is about herself and him not only him alone. she asked what is she coming to do? she said the mama say she is coming to rest ha!. the other one oversea has kids that might even keep her occupied but she want to go to her son's place (they don't have kids yet), she said she want to come rest, we all laughed. i don't know but i think mother inlaw like pestering their sons marital life than their daughter. me thinks maybe mother inlaw feels sons have more power in marriage than daughter, Poster, I hope your husband is the type that listens to their ladies. I wish you well in the life and marriage that is yours. remeber, it's about you and him, nothing else  |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Nobody: 11:50pm On Apr 12, 2007 |
[ spoilt: I agree with you for the most part spoilt but I have serious issues with the highlighted part. Anything a new wife cannot sustain doing,she should not even start it. When you decide to stop doing it,you will become the bad person. That was the most valuable premarital advice I got from my mother and for a woman who's been married more than 4 decades,she has a point. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by spoilt(f): 12:36am On Apr 13, 2007 |
The thing is you may have to go over and beyond what you would "normally" do to please your mother in law sometimes. They'll be moving out soon (hopefully oh, hopefully) so the intention is not for her to be doing that for long. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Nobody: 12:52am On Apr 13, 2007 |
can you imagine the situation where she takes on these extra unwanted chores and she is stuck in that house for another 2 years? The day she decides to burn that broom and sweep no more is the day they declare her an unfit wife. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by spoilt(f): 12:55am On Apr 13, 2007 |
if They decide to stay there 2 more years she's on her own oh! she'll be dead by then! what kind of man will torture a new wife like that?  |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Nobody: 12:58am On Apr 13, 2007 |
spoilt: ROFL. I hope she moves out tomorrow,honestly. The bond between a man and his mother is unbelievable. Who knows maybe if I lived in naija,I may have been in the same situation. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by spoilt(f): 2:07am On Apr 13, 2007 |
living with my own folks as an adult is something i cant even fathom. my mom will almost smother you with affection and tips. aaaaargh!!!! how some guys think its ok to not only live with mama and papa in old age but to bring in a spouse beats me hollow! |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by arikky(f): 1:18pm On Apr 13, 2007 |
i hate i told u so believe mi all u have 2 to do is live wit it and pray about it u jus ve to continue lovin ur husband else u may lose him n believe mi u may think its 4 d best there are times that we ve 2 stick wit pain 2 gain more wish u d best |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Nobody: 4:17pm On Apr 13, 2007 |
arikky are you really in dubai? I hear the place is beautiful,is it safe? by safe,I'm asking if they have lunatics blowing themselves and others up? do they allow women to drive? do they insist that women wear cover ups? off topic y'all forgive me but am planning a vacation |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by creamyice(f): 2:47pm On Apr 18, 2007 |
My dear, I feel you completely. The only weapon you have is prayers, some men are really difficult to handle, always thinking that the decisions they make are always the best whether it hurts you as the wife or not and their mum is special to them so they would prefer to displease you to please their mum or give their mum the attention you are begging for. Like I said earlier, your only weapon is prayers, at times you may not feel like praying but if you persevere, you will come out victorious. That is what I am doing. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Nobody: 1:57pm On May 27, 2007 |
prayers prayers prayers! Nigerians will never learn. Lazy people. Always waiting for God to come and solve your problems as if he was a fool. Una nor get head? |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by mazaje(m): 2:58pm On May 27, 2007 |
You can Pray all day and night but if you don't confront ur suituation nothing will change, marriage is supposed to be about happiness not sorrow, try to talk to him and let him know how his relationship with his family is affecting you and your marriage, i hope he listens and understands with you. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by Nobody: 3:00pm On May 27, 2007 |
mazaje: How I wish they would understand this for good! |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by donny1: 5:13pm On May 27, 2007 |
You need to tell your husband that both of you make a home (as his mother and his father has made their home).He should realize that both of you will raise up children that will call you their parents. He should be self reliant and not depend on his parents.God bless you. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by NymphoQin(f): 5:16pm On May 27, 2007 |
@poster what a mess, nothing worse than this situation, i feel you. All these damn babyboys |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by ThoniaSlim(f): 6:19am On Jun 09, 2007 |
it beats me, how stupid some men are. |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by minniepoe(f): 4:55pm On Jun 11, 2007 |
hmm, i feel you my sister. it is not easy. but i would say be patient. Patience is the key word here. dont get yourself worked up over this issue. like someone said in the thread, dont haggle words with your mother in law. you will never stay in your in laws house forever, very soon it will al be over. people saying you shouldnt have agreed to stay with your in laws should not reason that way. there are some situations beyond ones control. i pray God gives you the strength and grace to cope with the situation at hand and your own place as well |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by QUESHIQUE(f): 7:43pm On Jul 29, 2007 |
YOUR HUSBAND IS "MAMA'S BOY".HIS PLACENTA IS STILL ATTACH TO HIS MOTHER'S BELLY. HE NEEDS TO GET A MATURE FAMILY LIFE, BE A MAN AND MOVE OUT OF HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE WITH HIS FAMILY.THE "WORST MISTAKE" A MAN CAN MAKE HIS MARRIED AND STILL LIVE UNDER HIS MOTHER'S ROOF. BIBLICAL SAYING GOES "LEAVE AND CLEAVE". |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by geegee(f): 2:06am On Aug 04, 2007 |
i feel ur pain but u ought to have to have talk about getting ur own place before marrage abi is that not how it is done? |
| Re: My Husband Is So Attached To His Mother by QUESHIQUE(f): 2:24am On Feb 28, 2008 |
The following Biblical text says it all, Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother  , and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.' |
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