At The Verge Of Break Up - Romance - Nairaland
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5 Advantages Of Break-up\heartbreak. / Ever Being A Victim Of Break-ups That Actually Hurts? How Did You Get Thru It. / Early Signs Of Break Up. (2) (3) (4)
| At The Verge Of Break Up by Nobody: 8:03pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
for some time now i've been going out with dis dude i met through a friend and i can see fire on d mountain.actually he's been such a sweet,generous n touchy like guy all of a sudden he changed because he's begged n cajoled me 2 have sex with him which i refuse,he says i dont love him but on d contrary i do.infact i love him so much which is exactaly d reason i dont want to have sex with him cos i'm scared dat if i allow him 2 have sex with me he'll move on 2 d next chic n get tired of me n see me as just about any gal he has had his way with.lately he has been giving me attitude,refused 2 call me n refused 2 spend on me like he used to.i've tried 2 beg him to see reasons with me i've told him dats its because i love him n dont want 2 loose him dats y i have refused having sex with him apart from d fact dat its against d biblical injuction 2 kip d marriage bed holy.he said all dat are too flimsy.sex is just an avenue to bring us closer.nairalanders i can smell trouble looming,do u think i should give in to him 2 save d relationship or allow him 2 go cos he is already threatning me indirectly dat if i see him with some other chic i shouldnt complain or if another chic gives him wot i refuse 2 give him i shouldnt be angry cos i caused it for my self.i discussed d issue with mumsi n she was like i shud let him go,any guy who really loveds u will respect ur decision n live with it,but we've come a long way n my friends already know we r heading 2 d alter how den will i be able to look if i tell dem d once beautiful relationship has ended.i really nid ur sincere advice cos its not easy 2 let go |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Hotstepper(f): 8:13pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
I will not talk too much, the dude is not for you, he just want to use you that's all, Before he dumps you, dump him 1st, Don't ever give in, I repeat, do not |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by blank(f): 8:27pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
kulyie: I feel ur reason for not giving in to him is so flimsy. Even if u guys are married, if he wants to sample other girls outside, he will still do so. Any guy that puts pressure on you to go against what you believe, has low self esteem. He is just using marriage as a bait to get you to sleep with him. Dump his backside and find a guy who will respect you (he will definitely cheat on u if u guys happen to be separated while married). Don't worry about what your friends will say, "better a broken engagement than a broken marriage". |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by amefi(m): 8:33pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
tell him if he wants to have sex with you that you are very ready, but first, do the right thing. that is, he should do the marriage rite as soon as he wants the sex. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by onyekachii(f): 9:07pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
kulyie: I think you should run far away; the guy isn't for you; a good man will not threaten to cheat on you. do not allow him to force you into anything you are not willing to do or ready to do. I suggest you follow you mom's advice. who cares about what your friends think, at the end of they day it is how you feel and your happiness that matters. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by iice(f): 4:39am On Jul 20, 2010 |
He just wants to sleep with you. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Faher(m): 4:54am On Jul 20, 2010 |
^^^ Wow, I never thought there would be a straight and simple answer from you. Ever!!! Besides, there seems to be some emotion in this one. Way to go, iice. Now, I can believe you're human. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by iice(f): 7:15am On Jul 20, 2010 |
LOL una no go kill me  What emotion did you detect?  |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Gbemyte(f): 8:31am On Jul 20, 2010 |
@op. Pick race as far as ur legs cud take u. If u get maried 2 him,he wil cheat on u. I REPEAT RUN RUN RUN |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Nobody: 10:07am On Jul 20, 2010 |
your mom"s advice is the best.leave him |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by adaybola(f): 10:11am On Jul 20, 2010 |
andromida: You spoke my mind. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by topgirl: 10:21am On Jul 20, 2010 |
Baby girl,ur mum is right.pls listen to her n run as fast as ur legs can go.he will only use n dump u.the worst aspect is dat if u start sleepin with him now,u wont b able to stop n by d time he is tired of sleepin with u,u wud av gotten soooooo used to d sex dat,dat will b d only tin u will b enjoyin in d renationship.he will just dump u like a piece of rubbish,heart-broken,used,humilated,ashamed n without an iota of dignity.PLS B WISE,ITS PAINFUL BUT WORTHY. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by kpolli(m): 10:54am On Jul 20, 2010 |
since u guys r heading to the alter, y r u afraid he shud suddenly dump u after sex  u gurls r impossible sometimes n u want him to continue spending when he hasnt tasted the goods, well if u love him u wud allow him collect satisfaction from outside n he wud come back to u |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by TeeJay6(m): 10:54am On Jul 20, 2010 |
kulyie:So you never had any intentions of having intimacy with him, yet you were happy to let him spend on you? do you really think that is fair on the guy? I agree with what everyone has said that he is a berk and you should ditch him asap, but i cant help but feel you are partly to blame, most guys who play lovey dovey and spend money on girls expect something in return; if you never had any intention of giving him then maybe you should have communicated it in no uncertain terms from the onset and restrained from collecting his gifts as it only encourages him to think the more he gives the better his chances of getting laid. Also you mentioned biblical injuction, you didnt remember the bible when you were collecting his gifts or the fact that he is not a christian and you are, |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by vivaladiva(f): 11:14am On Jul 20, 2010 |
well u berra just break up then, if u dont want to have sex, then u sudnt be in a relationship, get ur parents to set u up for an arranged marriage u certainly cant make am ommlette without breakin a few eggs |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by TheClown: 11:14am On Jul 20, 2010 |
Please Nairalanders don't just conclude that all the guy wants is sex and nothing more. Its possible the guy is really pressed and wants to ease the sexual pressure with the seemingly right person. I've seen a wonderful relationship end this way. I'm also in a relationship presently and my girl is opposed to having intimacy before marriage. I guess too that she's afraid of my real intentions even though its crystal clear thats it nothing but marriage. I respect the female dignity so much that I can't force a girl against her will, call it deception, cajoling, tepting, whatever, I can't contemplate any once the whoever is concerned has taken her stand. But, I'm not a virgin, meaning I've tested exactly what it means to have sex, also, the urge come from time to time which I can't totally surpress, you can guess what the implication is and be confident of your answer. That does not mean I should break my relationship, I respect my girl and even more because of her decision, I admire self control, especially in the so called weaker sex. That haven been said, I implore you not to assume that the sole reason for his wanting sex is just to taste the fruit and give you his back. Just use your intuition. Its very hard to take a hard stand in this issue because men being who they are are not predictable in matters like this and it would hurt so much if your fear is confirmed. My sincere advice for you is to hold on to your convictions, don't give in to his pressures, don't break! But, contrary to some people's advice, don't assume that he would dump you and thus do the dumping before he does. He might later come to realise and value the rare gem God has delivered unto his hands. Just keep trying to make him realise your stand but with better reason than you hitherto gave him, for eg, it is against the ideals of Christianity and most especially, against your convictions, period. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Akainzo(m): 11:25am On Jul 20, 2010 |
@OP, Are you a virgin? I would love to know as that might have an influence on my advice to you. If you are a virgin, then my advice: Dump the guy and move to someone else that would accept your worldview. If you are NOT a virgin: Then don't go the way of quoting the bed undefiled bible verse to him (or to us.) The guy might be a jerk just trying to get some from you or he could genuinely love you and want to erase all doubt about sexual compatibility between the two of you. Only you can tell the difference as you can read the subtle messages better. BTW: why are you afraid he'd leave after having sex with you? Any inadequacies in that area? Do you possess enough self confidence to know that you can keep your man? A soul search to answer these questions would help you make up your mind. All the best. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by TeeJay6(m): 11:26am On Jul 20, 2010 |
poster wants to eat her cake and have it, stop collecting his gifts and you'll have the moral justification to decline his demands |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by dogzymallo: 1:59pm On Jul 20, 2010 |
dump him , ditch him. well that is what they will tell u.u gals are always jealous u gals want her to lose out abi.@poster ask them whether they don't Bleep their guys.they are killing you relationship.talk with ure guy be sure of intentions then make up ure mind but let him have what he has laboured for |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Rockoil(m): 2:23pm On Jul 20, 2010 |
kulyie:HOW SELFISH CAN A GIRL BE so u want to be given but not to give in return?what are u scared of, Loosing the cool guy or his generosity and money spree?abi na the tot of what your friends would say?abeg, my guy have decided to stop being a mugu, soo walk cos u dont deserve that guy, i rather become celibate than keep to self centered crooks like some babes |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Nobody: 10:20am On Jul 21, 2010 |
thanks nl shawties.i get ur drift but wot i find puzzling is dat most of my fellow females are of d opinion dat i shud dump him asap.but one question i want 2 ask nl guys is dat MUST SEX BE INVOLVED IN ANY RELATIONSHIP.CANT THERE BE A SMOOTH RELATIONSHIP DEVOID OF SEX N BOTH PARTIES R HAPPY N FULLFILLED.WHETHER OR NOT D GUY SPENDS ON D GAL IS IMMATERIAL.LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF THINGS.IF U LOVE SOMEONE DAT MUCH U SHUD BE ABLE 2 RESPECT THEIR DECISIONS BUT GUYS FEEL SPENDING ON A GIRL IS ENOUGH JUSTIFICATION FOR SEX |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by kpolli(m): 11:24am On Jul 21, 2010 |
well even though alot girls see otherwise, as a guy i cant lie yes sex is needed, especially when marriage is to be considered come on, y do they test drive?? |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by adaybola(f): 12:33pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
kulyie: Pls, no offence meant. You asked for our candid opinions. Wat exactly would u expect ur fellow female nairalanders to say? U clearly stated that ur mum suggested u leave him (cuz she knew it ain’t gonna work). U also stated that ur bf told u he's gonna get it elsewhere if u don't give it to him (he has the gut and right to say that to u cuz he’s been spending a lot of his cash on u without complaining and so, u should love him with all u have without hesitating). It’s either u give him OR plead with him and make him see reason y u guys should wait till u r married OR leave him, PERIOD! So, don't be puzzled. I’m sorry but u have to take it the way it is. A man spends so much on u and all he gets is a smile and just a kiss! Stop deceiving urself. If u see any man like that, then come back here and post another thread. Any lady that has the ability to receive gifts from a man must also have the ability to give the man generously! If you hadn’t taken his gifts in the first place, then you would have had the moral justification to turn him down and tell ur story to the world. Pls, stop giving that innocent attitude. . |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Nobody: 12:36pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
Are you inlove with him or the gifts he buys for you? |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Omolola1(f): 12:46pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
he just wants to sleep with you, and dump you like a pack of cards! |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by kpolli(m): 12:51pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
n she wants to eat his money n dump him like trash |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by adaybola(f): 12:59pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
kulyie: Lastly, I have a feeling you might be the “demanding type”. Your post is clear enough. Forgive me if I hurt your feeling, am a lady like you and wouldn't want you to get hurt. I give myself cos I want to not becos I have to. Men see us the way we present ourselves. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by MrCork24: 1:25pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
KULYIE, Baby, am single. Have a baby by me and be a Millionaire!!! holla |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by Nobody: 2:43pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
@ mr cork dont freak me out.@adaybola am not demandin.he does tins out of his own volition.someone whose bin all caring,always trying 2 satisfy becomes d total opposite all of a sudden wount u know sumtin is wrong somewhere.but anywayz thanks av learnt from u guys n like yorubas will say ALATISE LOMA MO ATISE ARA E. |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by follypimpi(m): 2:57pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
Well let the dude have his way now haba !!!! who knows you might enjoy the sex after all . |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by atiku07(m): 3:11pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
@kuliye well i will say u should have defined all this right from the start of the relationship. right now u are already making the guy feel like he is being used and he will definitely be having a wrong impression of ya, atleast if in de begining if u had let him know there will be no s3x den he woulda register it at the back of his mind that dis is a no sex relationship. i also have 2 questions 4 ya 1. are u a virgin? if no den i see no basis while u should deny him of his right ( is see dis as his right cause since u deemed it fit 2 collect gifts from him den he asking for sex should not be a be a big deal ok) so giving him de s3x he wants won't change anytin cause eventhough u do not give he would leave if he want to. 2. Are u of this no sex policy from the start of de relationship ? if no den u r a suspect of your own rules, cause i know if u do not feel a thing 4 him and u know he is well loaded u must have given him wat he wants b4 u remember putin dis topic on in NL. therfore u are only seeking advice cause your own game plan is turning at ya u r already in LOVE with him as it is now . so babe give de guy wat he deserves, keep your head high and see wat happens if he would wait and stay with ya or not Goodluck |
| Re: At The Verge Of Break Up by jaybee3(m): 3:16pm On Jul 21, 2010 |
kulyie: Is it also biblical to be a liability to someone u ain't married 2 |
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