frozen70:
Let her look for a third prospective spouse and present to them

She might be lucky this time

oh its that easy

josielewa:
pls house i need advise about a particular matter...here it goes..
I have a cousin (a female) who is at a crossroad. She has a little problem about getting married. The problem here is that she has already given the family a guys name, but the father said "pastor told him they are not compatible". Since she is from a Christian family, they do pray about such things.

Eight months later, she gave her dad another name and the Dad said they are compatible has being told by that same pastor. The problem now is that the guy is a muslim and my cousin never told her dad that.

Now the same father is saying she can't get married to a moslem has christians always believe that they must not marry unbelievers. Had it been my cousin already told her dad that the guy was a moslem, he wont bother telling the pastor about it.

My cousin is now worried because the pastor said they are compatible but her father is more concerned about the religion. Her father isnt happy with her choice hence might not want to a part of the union. pls she needs advise. She is on nairaland reading your comments. Pls let all be mature in our response. I used a phone in typing all this, so ignore all grammatical blunders... thanks.

mynd44
lalasticlala

Hardly will you see any parent that will gladly allow his or her child to marry outside his religion.

Religion / Parent consent can never be overemphasized in marriage especially in Africa.

It is always better to marry within ur belief if possible irrespective of parent, imam/pastor/harbalist consent.

Let's leave emotion out of it. Ur cousin needs to be very careful and sincere with herself. There are lots of things to discuss b4 going into it. Will the guy allow her to practice her faith or she is ready to join the guy to practice islam? (Faith of their un born child also needs to be discussed). What abt the guy's parent are they in support because they might be scare that your cousin might convert their son especially if his not that religious?

However, the ball is in her court.

Agents of confusion

I’m a Christian too and I believe in prayer a lot.. I also went to my pastor if I can marry my gf and he said to me that the girl is a good girl but in the long run she would give me problem that it’s better I don’t marry her.. then I went back and think about all he said.. I’m not against what he said but I just feel he has complained about his wife to me more than 5 times about her bad and pushing behaviors if not for the spirit of God he would have married a new wife( cause we are close)... so this made me think within my self that didn’t he pray about his wife before getting married to her? But why are they still having issues? So many questions I have no answer for...
So I concluded within myself that relationship are meant to have ups and downs,
To cut the long story short I feel marriage shouldn’t be based on spirituality alone (my pastor say my pastor say).. it should be on love, trust and understanding and you can pray to make it stronger...I’ve seen couples that were joined together by a G.O during a church service saying they were meant to be together and for more than 12 years now they are yet to start up a family..so what are we saying? Abi pastor Chris no pray concerning Anita ni?
Abeggi hold your man tight if you got any new one and ask the pastors to bless the union #pakam

resurgent4oodua:
Your cousin should under no circumstance marry a muslim no matter how "compatible" they are. Can't your cousin see what muslims are doing worldwide?

If any of my sister brings a muslim home, she will be excommunicated from the family. In fact, there is no single muslim blood in my lineage and I am a yoruba man. The acts of the majority of muslims has tainted that religion.

My verdict? Your cousin should look for a good christian to marry.

#mytwocents.

"there is no single muslim blood in my lineage and I am a yoruba"
That's strange in Yoruba land because islam and christainity came to our land almost the same time.

"Can't your cousin see what muslims are doing worldwide?"
Out of every carat there will always be a Judas.

This has nothing to do with Islam. They’re not real Muslims. They just claim to be. Islam is a religion of peace
1.7 Billion Muslims aren’t terrorists, don’t judge all of Muslim population with the actions of a few.
Well look at Christianity and the Crusades…
Quran says if you kill one human being it is as if you’ve attacked all of humanity, how can extremists justify their actions from the Quran? And Prophet Muhammed also said in the Hadith that Whoever kills a Christain or Jew among his followers will never smell the odour of paradise.

She should ask her father to find out why the pastor decided the first guy was not compatible but the second is. As a pastor .... not compatible should be based on being not evenly yoked in belief/religion...that's the first thing he should've found out. He didn't. ...which means his advice on the Bible...but on something else....most likely...money/earthly possessions. He is not of God. Regardless...any advice should be coming from the parents .... in fact...the father since he ought to be the head of the family...or is it the pastor? If he is allowing the pastor to make decisions for his daughter...then I can safely say the pastor is also making decisions for his wife....and we wonder why soooo many players pastors share the role of husbands.

suraj1st:


"there is no single muslim blood in my lineage and I am a yoruba"
That's strange in Yoruba land because islam and christainity came to our land almost the same time.

"Can't your cousin see what muslims are doing worldwide?"
Out of every carat there will always be a Judas.

This has nothing to do with Islam. They’re not real Muslims. They just claim to be. Islam is a religion of peace
1.7 Billion Muslims aren’t terrorists, don’t judge all of Muslim population with the actions of a few.
Well look at Christianity and the Crusades…
Quran says if you kill one human being it is as if you’ve attacked all of humanity, how can extremists justify their actions from the Quran? And Prophet Muhammed also said in the Hadith that Whoever kills a Christain or Jew among his followers will never smell the odour of paradise.

See ehn, I just feel it is better to be careful with islam and it's adherents. I don't have any issue with muslims. I only fear the religion.

If na Yoruba Muslim no problem!! But if its Northern Muslim please tell your cousin to flee away now before I got too late

Since you said she is here reading these posts, I going to direct this to her....

Ma'am, how old are you?.. Quit babying around and take control of your life.... Why allow someone dictate life to you and why adhere to these orders without tangible reasons??.....

Get hold of your paddle dear, do not leave it in the hands of another individual...

Ask questions before accepting people's opinions.. especially those opinions consisting of nothing buh mere predictions and guessworks....

though bible say believe in prophet and you will prosper 2chro 20:20, but the best way of marriage is for someone to hear directly from God by him/herself, tell her to pray fervently, bz to me oo, to outside ones religious mostly in Nigeria has become something else bz we are now practicing religious instead of FAITH,.God will see her through..