a very close cousin of mine is 18 going on to 19 in 3 months, she recently just got herself a boyfriend who she often visits at his place. her mum is very strict and we've all been trying to keep it all a secret from her but recently, a church member spotted her and her boyfriend holding hands in the shopping mall and reported to her mum now her mum is accusing her of all sorts, banning her from going out and even threatned to report to the pastor accusing her of commiting "fornication"

whats ur take on this situation? do you think her mum is right? is she too young to have a boyfriend? or is her mum just overreacting?

Who is bring the babies home, the girls or the womans. Right?
What is gods statement on sex and having a relationship before marriage?
Is the girl/woman still in education?
How seriousness is the girl/woman with her studies?
How old is the boy friend? Is he planning to go abroad?
What does his family have to say to all this?

She got herself a boy friend from the same church?
Sorry, do you shxxxt where you eat?

Well, what would i do if my son got himself a girlfriend?

Well, i mate my partner, when i was sweet 16 and he was 21 AND yes, he went to the same church as my step father and my step father best friend was the best mate of my husband oldest brother.

I would sit him down and let him know, what is thing about sex before marriage. It is not the best! and he should make at lest sure, he care for the girl and do not use her for his own needs or to make cool for his mates.

Than i would ask him to bring her home and i would talk to her, why she is interessed in my son?

And i would ask her to bring her mother around to my house.

I would tell the girl and her mother, i do not wish to see a big tummy !!! before she does not finish her education and have worked for 2 to 3 years !!!

I personaly would remind the girl to take her family planning medican and i would buy condoms for my son!

I would never let them have intimacy outside the house and after a wail i would ask my son and her get engaged.

If the girl is good for my son, i would welcome her as my daughter in to my house.

She even could stay over night and sit on my breakfast table.

Of course i would have a good word with the pastor and her family !!!

And she should not take me for fool, i would monitor my boy and her very well!

Her mother is reacting like that because the girl has gone behind her back! I would expect my daughter to talk to me about stuff like this but then I don't know what kind of relationship the girl has with her mother. Her mama doesn't want to be raising babies for her teenage daughter now and because she's only getting 2nd hand information she would only think the worst.

She lives in her parents house so she has to follow the rules. It does not matter if she is 13 or 82

That what happen when you hide things. Her mom is being a mom. She is concerned, but she overreacting. Mom and daughter need to have a frank conversation.

her mother is concerned but it is the wrong approach. She needs to advice her girl really well.
There is so much to talk about.
It is a time for intimacy and love to be shared between the two as she guides her daughter on the path of life.

yes shes been a mom but her approach is not the best at least for the time-being. her daughter is a teenage, going to be young adult, wanting puppy love is normal esp at their age. i think her mom needs to have real-time discussion with her and quit all those threats of "reporting her to the pastor" bs and accusation of fornication.

Don't know why a teenager would like to shackle herself to a boy though . Love my foot. Enjoy your years as a free woman abeg before entering the 'he hasn't called, who's that guy you were talking to, bla bla' stage; giving yourself nonsense headache nobody sent you, tscheww.

Anyway enough of my musings/ramblings , mama's approach is bad, but if she still lives with her parents she has to abide to their rules. If she's a big girl now that can date, why can't she find her own place? Abi big girl starts and ends in having a boyfriend?

ranging hormones you know makes them want that "puppy"love na the same hormones will also make them cry back and blue when the "puppy in the love dies. moving out of the house would depend on where they are. i mean, if its naija, parents hardly let their kids out at that age just like that. and also, moving out wouldnt be the best option for her, as i understand/assume she probably wants her to "wait till marriage" and moving out would limit her influence on that. she just need to get a machete and chase the boy to his fathers compound, he will leave her alone by force