Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? - Romance - Nairaland
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Good Looks Or Sound Education?..which Is Your No 1 Priority? / What Is The Latest Way To A Man's Heart:good Food Or Good Sex Or Good Character? / Cooking, Sex Or Good Character For Your Woman? (2) (3) (4)
| Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Bukittes(f): 4:50pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
I don't know again o but do these things guarantee a woman getting married these days? Good character, Pretty in all aspect, sound education and all packaged well were prerequisite in those days for a lady to get a befitting husband. THese days, with all these yet plenty unmarried female. What is happening? and don't tell me about the ratio of men to women because that doesn't count!!!!!!!!!! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Ladyjide(f): 6:14pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
I would like to see answers to this questions. In my "OPINION" honestly I think that these days that a lot of Nigerian men are intimidated by the educated Nigerian women a bit!! They would rather go for the less educated, dependable type, There for these days being educated does not ensure you a mate, in my case it hasn't yet!! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by gawky81(m): 9:37pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
 Bukittes, just joined Nairaland today and d first interesting topic I ran into is this one. Its quite funny what the world is turning into, yes as true as your observation is, it still isn't true for all folks, me for one anywayz, pretty, good character and sound education? gimme that chic and I'll get married at short notice(day after tomorrow if possible), if she ain't fronting o. In civilized countries of the world, professional ladies get married quicker to responsible men, I mean there are quite a pack of wolves amongst men walking out there but for the lucky and patient women, the good guys are still around and like I usually tell my female friends when we talk about stuffs like this, reason why women can't keep up or rather adjust with the reality is that the role they have in their heads is quite different from what it used to be. I respect women a lot please but when it comes to God-assigned roles(lolllzzzz), we need to straighten things out! my primary role is to love my woman to the teeth! make sure nothing as little as a mosquito perches on her skin, fend for her in terms of shelter, feeding, and you know the basic amenities too should not be far-fetched  now, where was I? Aha! her roles should be to love me back too, take care of the home front, respect and care for me like I do, kids? well, God brings forth kids, what else? shikenah! Of course I'd like to marry someone smarter than me if possible, so I also do not think its a valid idea that the ratio of women is high when laid against the number of available men. Oya, talk ya own.  Ladyjide, maybe there is something you are doing wrong or rather not right enough. search urself deeply, guys ain't smiling but they ain't mad too! believe me please. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Ladyjide(f): 10:06pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
You have a lot of valid points gawky and personally I have searched within myself. Living in the USA a lot of my choices are limited when seeking a suitable Nigerian man. Friends tell me I should start dating outside of my Nigeria brothern but at this point I refuse to do that. I know what I want and what I want my future to involve. SO MAYBE THAT is where I fall short, if so then I guess that is where I am meant to be!! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by chika98: 10:09pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
Ladyjide: You are limiting yourself. Date other African men and have fun. A good Nigerian brother like you say isn't gonna just come out of the blue He will come round when you will be ready to know a good man when you see him. Have fun and live your life while you are at it. I have met some non Nigerian men that are good. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by vivaladiva(f): 10:22pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
women r 2 efffing obsessed wiv marriage abeg, wetin happen now, always fussing about gettting married as if its the key to a life time of happiness the most important thing in my life is having kids, if i get maarried cool, if i dont well coool been thinking about the whole marriage thing especially naija marriage and am yet to come across a truely happy woman in these marrieges, so wat d Bleep i notice that a whole bunch of women r educated these days but unfortunately their brains r evolving ever so slowly as compared to men have u ever taken the time to wonder y men never naggg about marriage this and marriage that i liken this fever that women have for marrige to a person asking y a good petrol car isnt selling in 2040 |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Ladyjide(f): 10:27pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
chika98:I am trying to expand my mate search these days, just not so easy!! But your advice is well taken!!! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Onyema1(m): 5:17am On Aug 10, 2010 |
Ladyjide, are you in NYC? If you are, maybe we can chat if you want to. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by infobut(m): 7:20am On Aug 10, 2010 |
@Poster Well the truth is you made a good observation and another bitter truth is you have not finished observing. Naturally when the flood comes "Fish eats ants" and when the rain is out and the water level drops "Ants eat Fish" in essence what i am driving at is simply that Opportunity comes to everyone it's just a matter of timing and being able to see it when it comes. Ladyjide:I will take it you are going for what you want, if not i see no reason why you should limit yourself when you have been given no boundary (I assume none exists). Well i won't tell you to think outside the Box rather please eliminate any box that comes close.Life is short . @ Vivaladiva I understand you are leaving your American dream(Ideal Life) but please never you make your life a standard for people to follow .people have their individual desires and everybody has an obligation to pursue his or her dream. So please if you don't want to get married be well informed that there are many people out there with a different mindset. Keep living your life i guess it really"Great". |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by 1105(f): 8:01am On Aug 10, 2010 |
well from my own point of view,i think these days men are quite smarter and know what they want, they simply have alot they look out for in a woman,she do not necessarilily have to be pretty,or have a good education or character all what we men want is a woman who we can depend on,with the # of atrocities these day women commit we have to be really smart in our quest in getting married,personally for me i would go for good character 1st and foremost,education next and been pretty last, |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by saintneo(m): 8:09am On Aug 10, 2010 |
^^^ Seconded! @190 please teach me how to get e-girl friend naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by 1105(f): 8:27am On Aug 10, 2010 |
^^ ROTFLFAO Just find a single girl out there and chase her all the way. I suggest mama-gee,pweet4me and blank! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by LadyLocs(f): 10:44am On Aug 10, 2010 |
Stop looking for a husband, go out on dates and enjoy yourself. People can see desperation a mile off, |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by MrCork1: 10:48am On Aug 10, 2010 |
When i look for punny, I dont bother about preety, edukation, sound edukation or charactar. All womens are beautiful |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Onchedu(m): 10:58am On Aug 10, 2010 |
Bukittes: 1. Boys dey fear girls ambition. 2. "The population of "marriable" girls is on a sharp decrease," so boys generally feel say the risk of marrying the wrong girl too high to just enter the thing like that. 3. Where the money when every thing don cost and girls no dey help matter they struggle typical male jobs with men still expect say we go settle down quick marry them. 4. Girls dey look for "invisible man." They want it all an when there's just one thing lacking they go looking for the next candidate. The list plenty. Make we no even start. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Pweety4me(f): 11:01am On Aug 10, 2010 |
190.:Mad man |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Bukittes(f): 11:02am On Aug 10, 2010 |
Nice responses y'all! Thanks but I know what I want as a woman and every woman out there definitely knows what she wants. Sometimes we get to settle for less so as not to be tagged "too choosy" and then the realization dawns after marriage which results to divorce or having an unhappy married life. I for one will not settle for less cos this life is just to be lived once! There is no part - two!!!!! I am not asking for much, I only want a God fearing man who can rise up to the occasion at any time as my husband. A man I can respect in all ramification. House, is that too much to ask for? Don't judge me cos u don't even know me!! @ Gawky, God - assigned roles? we know them and will love to follow them to the latter but do the men even want that? No, they rather want to break all the rules and regulations even before marriage and u know exactly what I am talking about. @Vivaladiva, sometimes I tend to think your way and say whats the fuss about marriage anyways but the truth is the society wants u married and u urself one way or the other wants urself hooked, so what the heck, lets talk about it and maybe we can find solution to the problem of the world but mind u, I enjoy myself without limit, I live day by day, having fun and just been a very happy bubbling single. Sometimes it can be fun! I agree with you, but my question still remains, what do they want that we still don't have? Pretty, Good character, Sound Education, What  ?? |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by JesusloveU: 2:15pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
Most educated and working class ladies are not respectful and submissive.That's why men go for the less educated ladies ,working class or not.We men have preference for ladies,we know exactly what we want in a lady.Most ladies feels that marriage is 50/50 thing.They want to compete with the men,men now look out for ladies that fear God ,not just going to the church. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by MrCork1: 2:18pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
Edukated womens always look like men, I dont like them |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Ladyjide(f): 2:37pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
Onyema1:No I am in Philadelphia! !!! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by oYaTo(m): 4:01pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
^^that shouldn't deter u guys. . |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Ladyjide(f): 8:21pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
^^ Ok Matchmaker!! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by kokoye(m): 8:28pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
Ladyjide: OK here we go again. Again, I will tell you that this opinion of your is not goin to help you at all. Are you really sure you want successfull relationship . . or you have accepted your fate and started making excuses . . or you were expecting to buy a naija guy with your education?? If the latter is the case, maybe you should go to nigeria and get a man . . i'm sure you will find loads who would not mind. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Ladyjide(f): 8:39pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
kokoye:Truth is truth my wise brother, you may be a Nigerian man, but when is the last time you tried to date one? So untill you begin to date men , you cant tell me what us women are presented with out here in 2010!! Case point!! Not all guys are as great as you think you are or your friends. What is this my fate you talk of ? What ever GOD has planned for me will be, and that is ultimately my stance! My opinion is just that - my opinion and wasn't written for your critique!!! To date I have yet to have any man in any relationship I have been in break it off with me- it is I that have broken it off! I refuse to be lied too---PERIOD. I know what I want and what I will accept- and refuse to dumb my self down because the egos of some men cant take a women who has done well for her self with out using her womanliness!! I dont think I have to go all the way to Nigeria to get a man at this point, I would rather deal with all the head ache here first |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by kokoye(m): 8:55pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
^^^ I dont want you to have to go Nigeria because I do not believe in long distance relationships. Neither am I encouraging you to lower your values or expectations - this will just make you unhappy and depressed in the long run. and by the way, smart guys do not break up with ladies, they encourage the ladies to break up with them. I just do not want you to start thinking guys are running because you might be more accomplished. Believe me, it is not a good way to start off. You deserve what you hope for . .you have made yourself ready in the financial aspect . . a lot of guys here are still trying to accomplish that and may too busy to 'see' you. That's where your positive attitude, confidence and reference will come in. I do not want you to start thinking negative . . that's why I am trying to help out, since I know some guys who are ready but not really looking - guys strive to be financially stable first. goodluck again. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Ladyjide(f): 9:53pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
kokoye: At this point I don't feel my accomplishments hurt nor help me,in my search for a mate as I take every day in stride. I understand the struggle of trying to find your way, as i have been in it, and every day work to improve my self for the better of my family and my future. My parents taught me hard work at a young age, from seeing their struggles and ensuring that I worked hard for every thing that I wanted, and I still do. Working in The USA is hard especially for us "BLACK," women- especially those of us in white male dominated professions. I fight everyday to make sure that I get equal treatment, and ensure that I am on top of my game no matter. Those are the same basic worth ethics, that I would like to instill in my children in the future and want the same thing in a mate. I am one who knows how to separate my professional life from my personal life, and I do not by any means think negative on anything at this point in my life, because if you knew how far I have come you will understand my struggle and my view points in life. I guess I may come off as someone with a hardened heart, but that is not the case- I guess I am just misunderstand by some. I haven't giving up on LOVE just yet as I know what GOD has for me is for me regardless. Nothing will be able to stand in the way if it is im GODS plan! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by kokoye(m): 10:04pm On Aug 10, 2010 |
^^ All will be well. Hold on to your faith. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Blackode: 1:05pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
Bukittes: Do I know you? anyway the Bukky I know drives a green car and has a hot ass. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Bukittes(f): 1:18pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
Sorry, this Bukky drives a blue car and does not have a hot backside. What a description for someone u profess u know! Too bad!!!!!!! |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by dboss4life: 2:19pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
A woman having a good character, pretty and good education does not really guarantee that she will get a good husband because these days men are somehow becoming scared of marrying educated women because of the horrible experience those who are into it tell. If u can be honest to urself burkittes, u will find out that most educated women are hardly submissive to their man, they will always want to prove to their man that they too know it all and the fact remains that their cannot be two captains in a ship. I will to tell u that with all sense of responsibilities that once a woman is completely submissive to a man, she will marry in time, be happy and have a very lovely and peaceful home. So its not just about education, pretty or good character, its all about being completely submissive to ur man. |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by Ladyjide(f): 2:23pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
dboss4life: So was I correct in saying that men these days are looking to the less educated one's first because they feel they are more submissive? In my personal situation what you are saying about educated women is untrue- I belive submissiveness deals a lot with upbringing and the way you were raised. If you are handling your household well as a man- me as a woman will fall in to that roll of submission. but should us women be submissive to some of you men who aren't even willing to make a simple commitment to us or take on the complete responsibilities of what being a strong man entails? |
| Re: Pretty, Good Character, Sound Education: Then What? by fellow(m): 2:28pm On Aug 11, 2010 |
Come to think of it, do you really think good education, being pretty and a sound education are enough reasons to find a mate nowadays? Personally I do not think so. In the days of our forefathers, marriage wasn't based on all these reasons but mostly on behaviour, brains and submission. If there is one thing I credit to women then, it is the ability to read their husbands or boyfriends. Most of them hardly had sound education but they were well versed in marital education. They know when to stop and when to go on. They were skilled in the act of patience, they wholeheartedly support their men n are appreciative of the little things men do. Education has brought about enlighthened women who are taught to be independent, overly ambitious and ill mannered. I once dated a girl like that for 2years but I had to leave her cuz she was bad tempered n always wanna lord everything over me. I took it for 2years but that was as far as I could go. A year later she's still single, looking for a soulmate after dating 4/5 guys, the longest lasting 5 months. Do you blame the guys? Nowadays giving out your body to a man does not guarantee marriage not even deceitfully forcing a baby upon him. As much as I desire a woman with a good education n all dat, I do not need another lord in my relationship. A man has lotta issues, if we are rich n treat a woman anyhw - we're arrogant n proud likewise if we're poor n treat a woman anyhw we're considered to be ingrates. Life is a balance, we just need to find the mid point. |
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