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I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by ScaffoldCON: 3:46pm On Jan 07, 2019
I can go on and on about what you should do, but think about this statement in quote "Don't make yourself an excuse of a Father"

If you keep this up, you'd allow your children grow up giving themselves class. Forgeting they are blood related.

Try this, give them different motivation and love them for it. That way, you're part of their life.

Assalamu alaikum...

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by thorpido(m): 5:10pm On Jan 07, 2019
gabazin080:
I spend plenty of quality time with them during weekends. we go out but not together most times because am someone who doesn't like attention. whenever we go shopping together, I always feel like the center of attraction because of the numbers I took with me.
so most times I only go out shopping with my son and buy things for those at home.


am not enjoying it but I just find it hard to love them equally.
I need help
Why don't you start by CONSCIOUSLY rotating who you take out if you won't take all of them out at the same time.
Also since you've identified the other twin as your least favourite,consciously spend time with her.
Don't make your girls especially feel like the boy is preferred.

Raising children is not just an emotional thing,it's a conscious effort to do right.
Work on your relationship with your wife too.

24 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Satan66(m): 5:14pm On Jan 07, 2019
androidroot:
Same issue I'm battling right now, and it's affecting me negatively. My dad loves my brother more than everyone in my house; he believes him more than my mother (imagine)
Madness.
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by DonroxyII: 5:19pm On Jan 07, 2019
gabazin080:
I spend plenty of quality time with them during weekends. we go out but not together most times because am someone who doesn't like attention. whenever we go shopping together, I always feel like the center of attraction because of the numbers I took with me.
so most times I only go out shopping with my son and buy things for those at home.


am not enjoying it but I just find it hard to love them equally.
I need help
You are a Nairaland bot grin You don't need any help tongue

Anyway, we should all know our kids are our responsibilities, you will definitely love one more than the rest I.e. Their is usually heirachy of love for the kids, irrespective of qualities but we should understand that they must all be raised with equal standards and attention ..... They must all receive the same level of discipline and attraction ........

I think their is need to create school of child raising so as to avoid psychoskanskan kids in the future ..... Op is already creating psychological disorder for his perceived kids ..... and the first born is gonna be the most failed amongst them all ..... Spoiltbrat !!!

Nonetheless, The Op is a lie tongue

4 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by nuggarito: 5:20pm On Jan 07, 2019
n my family, I didn't really care who loved me most or who hated me most, I just hated everyone and avoided them. And it made my very different from my siblings. My introverted nature was on another level.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by oshaosha2014(m): 5:20pm On Jan 07, 2019
Continue and see your regret in sparkling light.

1 Like

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by samuelchimmy(m): 5:20pm On Jan 07, 2019
They are looking at you in 3d glasses, don't worry, get old first, you will know

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Satan66(m): 5:20pm On Jan 07, 2019
gabazin080:
I spend plenty of quality time with them during weekends. we go out but not together most times because am someone who doesn't like attention. whenever we go shopping together, I always feel like the center of attraction because of the numbers I took with me.
so most times I only go out shopping with my son and buy things for those at home.


am not enjoying it but I just find it hard to love them equally.
I need help
You have already ruined your relationship with those girls.
That boy would feel superior to them.
Take all 3 of them out, Either that or you aren't ready to change..
My dad was and is still an idiotic drunkard.
Had a tough childhood.
Don't give those twins one too.

13 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by BarrElChapo(m): 5:21pm On Jan 07, 2019
Your comment and you name are exactly the same.
Offpoint:
You just indirectly told me you don't love your wife.... divorce please. The issue is not with the kids, you don't love 'em equally because some took their mother resemblance.


I know you're avoiding the main issue here, divorce the poor woman if you're tired of the marriage.

2 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by osidec: 5:21pm On Jan 07, 2019
There is no way u would not love one more than others but NEVER NEVER discriminate.

3 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by jomoh: 5:21pm On Jan 07, 2019
gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.
I place the male as the number in the home even ahead of the mom. he is very smart for his age and resembles me 100 percent. and for the twins, I love the one that looks like my late mom and very smart than the other.


help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home


Bro don’t sweat it. It’s normal. You can’t love your kids same way but for your own sake never let it show.


Not showing it is the most important. Make sure no one can notice it that’s why you’re the father.

1 Like

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by akinszz: 5:21pm On Jan 07, 2019
gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.
I place the male as the number in the home even ahead of the mom. he is very smart for his age and resembles me 100 percent. and for the twins, I love the one that looks like my late mom and very smart than the other.


help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home
you better love them equally, you don't know what tomorrow brings.... Be wise... The one you don't like may turn out to be the greatest among the three.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by theapeman4: 5:22pm On Jan 07, 2019
gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.
I place the male as the number in the home even ahead of the mom. he is very smart for his age and resembles me 100 percent. and for the twins, I love the one that looks like my late mom and very smart than the other.


help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home
until one carry knife and cut your tiny balls that's when you will know how to love equally undecided

your write-up shows you are an egocentric kind of person...


keep it up! your death is just waiting around the corner for you

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Welcum: 5:22pm On Jan 07, 2019
Always remember that you are RESPONSIBLE for the dull kid coming into the world as she is and realize it's your RESPONSIBILITY to love her and help her find her feet in this wicked world that you brought her into.

15 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Goddyj(m): 5:23pm On Jan 07, 2019
The same problem I'm facing here. My mum loves me more than she loves anybody at home. I try all my best to discourage her every now and then, but she seems not to understand that I feel guilty about it. She takes my opinion more serious than that of her husband, my Dad.

3 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by rotwailler(m): 5:24pm On Jan 07, 2019
Sell the onse you don't love..shuuu
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by sanchybaby: 5:25pm On Jan 07, 2019
Probably you suffered from the same issue and it is now reflecting in your marriage. You learnt or experienced it, you can unlearn it because f you don't it is a time bomb ticking

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Nobody: 5:26pm On Jan 07, 2019
Same way my grandmother love my brother more than me cause he is a boy and my great grand parents never had a boy, my dad love me more than my brother cause I look like my mum and he love her very much.


You cannot love your kids equally no matter how hard you try cause they will all be different in reasoning and attitude.

1 Like

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by jaxxy(m): 5:26pm On Jan 07, 2019
gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.
I place the male as the number in the home even ahead of the mom. he is very smart for his age and resembles me 100 percent. and for the twins, I love the one that looks like my late mom and very smart than the other.


help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home

I’m happy u atleast are aware what ur doing is wrong. If u want to give a balanced love u have to be intentional. Make out time for each of ur kids separately and pay attention to them differently and collectively. Increase ur love for the one u seem not to love by giving more time to her. It will save u future headache.

Also note smtmes loving a particular kid too much can make them misbehave. Balanced love is generally healthier.

The one u don’t like may end up wiser then the ones u even so called like. Einstein wasn’t so smart in his early life.

12 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Offpoint: 5:26pm On Jan 07, 2019
BarrElChapo:
Your comment and you name are exactly the same.

"An elder words make no sense to a child until he grows up"....offpoint 2019
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Nobody: 5:26pm On Jan 07, 2019
Oga you are not fit to be a Father.

4 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by ithink7: 5:27pm On Jan 07, 2019
gabazin080:
I have heard people saying one has to love his kids equally or don't show it even if you love one more, but I find it hard to pretend .

I have 3 kids, a boy and twin girls. I love the 1st born more than the rest because he is a boy and love one of the twins more than the other.
I place the male as the number in the home even ahead of the mom. he is very smart for his age and resembles me 100 percent. and for the twins, I love the one that looks like my late mom and very smart than the other.


help I find it hard to love them equally or even pretend to love them equally and it's causing division in my home


Maybe you need to learn how to love yoursef first.

8 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by yvelchstores(f): 5:28pm On Jan 07, 2019
In as much as I can't even comprehend D possibility of loving my child more than my other child, I will wait till I have a second child before I draw the conclusion however I highly doubt I will ever do that given the fact that my mum never really showed me affection, she always preferred to pet my elder brother. Fact. But no hard feelings. It made me strong.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Afonjas: 5:29pm On Jan 07, 2019
NoGender:
shocked

Daddy is that why you collected my sweet and na gave it to Adanna

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Nobody: 5:29pm On Jan 07, 2019
theapeman4:
until one carry knife and cut your tiny balls that's when you will know how to love equally undecided

your write-up shows you are an egocentric kind of person...


keep it up! your death is just waiting around the corner for you
Hahahahah
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by enemyofprogress: 5:29pm On Jan 07, 2019
Is it a seen for one to burn tree childrens?
Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by chara019: 5:29pm On Jan 07, 2019
you know its causing division, yet you still doing it. Those kids would grow up hating themselves,if you keep hiving preferential treatments to the ones you love.
What would you do if the least loved one becomes more successful than the others?

9 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by Nobody: 5:30pm On Jan 07, 2019
Lol, Nigerians are funny, showed my brother this thread and mock tears rolled down his checks and nutty him says he wished he was born and brought up here maybe he wouldn't have had any need to extremely self sufficient and independent and would have been dads favorite since African men carry male kids on their heads, unfortunately our dad is westernized and bundled him out of the house at 18 to go be a man cry, the ladies??... grin

So Op, keep treating your kids with obvious dislike, disdain, inequality and comparison, you would get old one day so whatever seed you sow today so shall you reap.

PS- I always hear of families, brothers, sisters, who hate themselves and don't mind poisoning and killing each other (aka village ppl) so this is how the seeds of envy and hate where sown.

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by sacx: 5:30pm On Jan 07, 2019
Then get yourself checked in a mental asylum. It's better you remain there than introduce those kids early to sibling rivalry. Ctrl + Z

8 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by atakamus: 5:31pm On Jan 07, 2019
Don't worry. Continue your segregation. Don't find it hard to believe when the one you show less love for will use you for money ritual.
Pretend to love them equal.

8 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard To Pretend Loving My Kids Equally, Help! by enemyofprogress: 5:31pm On Jan 07, 2019
yvelchstores:
In as much as I can't even comprehend D possibility of loving my child more than my other child, I will wait till I have a second child before I draw the conclusion however I highly doubt I will ever do that given the fact that my mum never really showed me affection, she always preferred to pet my elder brother. Fact. But no hard feelings. It made me strong.
so you have burned a children. My love for you is over from today

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