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Is It Normal To Not Want A Partner? - Romance - Nairaland

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Is It Normal To Not Want A Partner? by NnennaG6(f): 2:10pm On Jan 23, 2019
I've been trying to find an answer to this question but most of the stuff I found is more statistical rather than providing answers as in the studies of more people not getting married and such.

I've only been in a couple of relationships and now that I'm close to thirty I'm not at all interested in meeting someone for a long term or short term relationship. I have an average life with friends, family, my hobbies and work so a lot of people ask "what about dating" or "go try dating apps". I've done online dating and speed dating but nothing clicks even if I do end up on a date or two with someone. Its just one of those things that never seem to cross my mind on an average day. Sometimes it feels like if I don't try and find someone I'm left out or people say that you'll find someone because its an important part of being an adult. I know all that but there is something about dating and finding romance that feeling like a horrible mistake or the person feels more like an intruder rather than someone who I want in my life. I don't really want romantic dinners or holding hands in public. If anything I'd rather my partner treat me like a best friend. I don't even know if I want to be a wife. I mean I'm already looking into buying a house in the next couple of years and a year ago my coworker said to me "What about the husband and kids, you should wait until that happens first." None of that crossed my mind and its still not a concern. Even my mom said she felt sorry for me for feeling this way and that kind of hurt as it made me feel abnormal.

So I want to know, is this a normal thing. Is it normal that some people just not want to date and want to be independent or at least not want a husband or wife? I know that asexuality exists but I'm not sure if I fall into that category. I'm also not sure if this is the right place to ask but I figured maybe people here know what I'm asking about or know people who are similar.

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Re: Is It Normal To Not Want A Partner? by faithfull18(f): 2:17pm On Jan 23, 2019
It's very normal.

Biblically, marriage isn't a do or die affair once you can keep to not lusting or sleeping around.

But you know, we are in Africa, Nigeria to be precise, where everyone around feels you must be married at a certain age and they start putting unnecessary pressure on you whether you want to or not.

People start gossiping and looking at you a certain way. Nobody cares to know what exactly you want.

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Re: Is It Normal To Not Want A Partner? by Nobody: 2:26pm On Jan 23, 2019
Hi, Nnenna wink.
I think it's perfectly fine. Not everyone wants the same things; if you don't want a relationship, that's your own prerogative. You definitely shouldn't enter into a relationship due to external pressure. I say live your own life.

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Re: Is It Normal To Not Want A Partner? by CreepyBlackpool: 2:32pm On Jan 23, 2019
Its definitely normal.

Some people just prefer their own company. Being in a relationship makes them feel like the other person is intruding on their personal private space.

But of course I'm sure your family members will not understand like we do. Most people won't.

So you just have to learn to not give a fvck about all those other people.
Always place your happiness and comfort above everything else is what I keep advising people smiley

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Re: Is It Normal To Not Want A Partner? by Ranchhoddas: 2:38pm On Jan 23, 2019
It's not. If it were it would not be an issue.
Re: Is It Normal To Not Want A Partner? by MuttleyLaff: 12:24am On May 05, 2019
NnennaG6:
I've been trying to find an answer to this question but most of the stuff I found is more statistical rather than providing answers as in the studies of more people not getting married and such.

I've only been in a couple of relationships and now that I'm close to thirty I'm not at all interested in meeting someone for a long term or short term relationship. I have an average life with friends, family, my hobbies and work so a lot of people ask "what about dating" or "go try dating apps". I've done online dating and speed dating but nothing clicks even if I do end up on a date or two with someone. Its just one of those things that never seem to cross my mind on an average day. Sometimes it feels like if I don't try and find someone I'm left out or people say that you'll find someone because its an important part of being an adult. I know all that but there is something about dating and finding romance that feeling like a horrible mistake or the person feels more like an intruder rather than someone who I want in my life. I don't really want romantic dinners or holding hands in public. If anything I'd rather my partner treat me like a best friend. I don't even know if I want to be a wife. I mean I'm already looking into buying a house in the next couple of years and a year ago my coworker said to me "What about the husband and kids, you should wait until that happens first." None of that crossed my mind and its still not a concern. Even my mom said she felt sorry for me for feeling this way and that kind of hurt as it made me feel abnormal.

So I want to know, is this a normal thing. Is it normal that some people just not want to date and want to be independent or at least not want a husband or wife? I know that asexuality exists but I'm not sure if I fall into that category. I'm also not sure if this is the right place to ask but I figured maybe people here know what I'm asking about or know people who are similar.
You might be going through a phase of being alone but not being lonely.

Though God knows sexuality is important for all living beings for procreation and bonding purposes, like link with someone else based on shared feelings, interests and/or experiences, Jesus was alone but wasnt lonely. So it can be a normal thing, to be single and not want a partner, so as to be tunnel visioned to one's purpose. On the other hand, the Bible, is known to say: "It is not good that the man (i.e. mankind or human beings) should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him"

Having said all that, it must be stated that, the ability to be single, by choice and/or free will, is a gift

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