₦airaland Forum

@ Yorke, I won't wait till am married to her then accept that she only gave her boss a kiss so that she can get a raise at work, Got my point?

If you truly love and believe a person's love for you, you protect it and do unto that person what you also expect (whether as a male or female)!

@ Mr Cork: I've been wondering, Where is it allowed for a guy/lady to cheat on each other? At what point does it become an "abomination" when two love-birds have an "extra" even before marriage?

These days I'm finding it very difficult to believe my girlfriend and girls in general. Why can't you just be faithful for once? My girl and I see and communicate often but I feel that there's just something still not certain about her love for me. Yes, she says that she loves me but I am finding it hard to believe. 
One day, out of my curiosity, I snatched her phone playfully and read through her msgs. (I know I shdn't have done that but what I saw even fuelled my suspicion and anger the more) Of course she got upset about my intruding on her privacy but I apologised.
From the sms I saw, she had been communicating with a male friend of hers she once told me about. The last part of the msg she sent read: I WILL ALWAYS LUV U.
After apologising for my intruding on her privacy, I asked her what that was all about and the only response she gave was that it was a different kind of LOVE and even though the two of us are not yet married, I should pls understand that she TRULY loves me.
I try to listen to all she tells me for peace's sake but find it hard to believe all what she says. My question is: How can You know if/when your girlfriend is cheating on you?

@ SEUN, dani1luv and Ben-10
THIS JOKE IS TOO EXPENSIVE TO BE ON THE FRONT PAGE. I SUGGEST THAT YOU REMOVE IT BEFORE YOU CAUSE COMMOTION IN THIS COUNTRY OOOH!

Tingles:
Even though there is no ideal partner, we should be patient enough to find someone very close to the girl/guy in our dreams, whose imperfections we could live with and whose shortcomings we could overlook. [/b]This is the new meaning of the word "ideal"

I quite agree with your statement and the bolder part but lemme add that while the other party can continually [b]LIVE WITH and OVERLOOK those shortcomings, the offender should not take that as a LICENSE to keep offending and expecting that "The other person should understand that THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM".  You would be taking your partner for granted and insulting his/her PATIENCE or ENDURANCE level if you cannot work on your shortcomings. Yes, you might say those shortcomings are what makes us WHO WE ARE, I say that to make progress in life and to avoid resentment and bitterness (which if allowed to heap long enough would explode like a nuclear bomb) whatever you do not want or would not tolerate from your spouse, do not display such. Simply DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WANT THEM DO UNTO YOU,  Amen!

@ OP, My friend will U stop the whining, go dump your c.v in your wardrobe or somewhere THEN go and learn a trade or handwork because that is what will save you and many unemployed and yet to graduate Nigerians right now!!
If you don't know, there are several Nigerians who are in your cherished labour market right now praying and looking for opportunities to get out of it and become self-reliant while you are here lamenting at the un-eveness of things. I so much believe in prayers as a christaian and am not talking ignorantly but
Before you gained admission and even after school, were you not aware of the epileptic situation of things in this country? Now you sit down hear and sulk as if all the people replying this post are doing it from their sky-scrapper glass office!
Get of your complaining and go do something for yourself. Mtsheeew!!!

@ Andromida, thanks again for spelling it out clearly to me. It wasnt until I told her that it had been called off on the condition that she made amends. (of course with the labels that she was Proud, Selfish, Insensitive and been deceiving me) and guess what? she only got angry that I called her those names but is okay to call the "relationship" of on that condition. 
If your free during the weekends, we could hang out (asking). Seriously need ppl who are true to themselves not fake and lying pretenders!
PM me your fbk url or email add.
Rgds.

*Bows Out*

Nayah:
I know my brother, that someone has to love maybe more but that was an answer to Boyloaf, anyway I can't say just leave it because this thing has to come naturally, but what I can say is sometimes better being selfish and focus on our happiness, so are you happy with this situation? if not, you do what you have to do

Hope I could help  you a bit

Yes you can my dear. I am not my sister cos I just told her that it's over if she is not ready to make amends (by paying the visit) and guess what? she's ok with calling the relationship off!

Some girls sef,  Anyways, @ ANDROMIDA, U R A DARLING!!!

tenderheart!!!:
Seriously OP, m passing thru sth similar ryt now doe I think 'WE' ain't dt matured as U two, [b]it myt b dt, Shez tryna avoid sex b4 marriage nd to think if she comes around,  U myt ask 4 it [/b]but d aspect dt your Mum passed on nd she still couldn't come arnd is what I dnt just understnd, dt was too mean, we can't call dt insensitivity @ all, I want to biliv shez above 23, If yes, Den shez no mur a kid, A PG studnt 4 dt matter, mehn! u gats talk to her face to face, all doz I LOVE U 4 phn no do joo, I QUITE UNDERSTND OW U FEEL, ND I THINK U SHLD FIND OUT IF SHEZ SEEING SUM1 ELSE OR NOT, DER'RE WAYS U CAN GET TO KNOE, FIGURE IT OUT URSELF!!!
I hope ds helps, btw, sorry, ok Seriously, I feel 4 U nd hope things get better, LADIES SHLD NOT BE INSENSITIVE TO GUD GUYS, IT KILLZ US @ TYMS, because WE CHOSE NOT TO SLEEP WT DEM, RESPECT THEM DOESN'T MEAN, DEY SHLD BE INSENSITIVE, I'M DEAD SURE, NO REASONABLE LADY WOULD TAKE HER MAN 4 GRANTED IF HE HAD ONE TYM OR D ODA SLEPT WT HER, ESPECIALLY D GODLY ONES, LADIES ND THEIR WAHALA, SMH!!!

That can't be cos we have both agreed that's a No-go area TILL marriage.
Says she aint with nobody but has lots of suitors. I pray they get to see this post!

dammytex:
I really wish I could say something but don't know what to say.

Okay isn't there a possibility that she's really scared of her parents' reaction as much as you are almost feeling insecure.

something tells me we don't have enough information to condemn her actions or her sacrifices for the relationship. I believe this did not start today.
--But where she doesn't score any point is her not coming around for at least comfort, when you lost your dearest mom.

Maybe what you can do is to let her know her attitude towards the relationship is beginning to threaten the relationship and she might lose you if she doesn't  gear towards her relationship success.

I JUST DID THAT! (of course with the labels that she was Proud, Selfish, Insensitive and been deceiving me) and guess what she only got angry that I called her those names but is okay to call the "relationship" of on that condition.

BTW, we have had arguements in the past but did not warrant all this drama. What info do u need?

tenderheart!!!:
Omg! Adromina is thinking, M SO IMPRESSEd
OP, U really shld not conclude shez so not into U yet, I think U shld do a face to face talk wd her nd ask her ryt there, it is most likely shez insensitive, Wait a minute! Is she a true Child of God, as in, a born again christian

Yes she is. But why be so insensitive? Guys have needs too. And I expect my lady to be able to figure that out.

Nayah:
OP really sorry about what you're passing through, but seriously try to take a bit distance to think about what she really wants, even if it's hurtful
Boyloaf, why it could'nt be the reverse? " never love a man more than he does"

That distance was what I took to be able to realise that she had become insensitive.  "never love a man more than he does"  Whichever way, someone has got to love more you know.

andromida:
Op, you lost your mom and your gal called it a small issue? she could not be bothered to visit you. After graduation she has never visited you in your parents home. Is she 10 yrs old and cannot come out of her house? Is she chained to her house? her parents have a bodyguard watching her 24/7? or is she that slow and cannot comprehend the demands of a rship? or are you so unpresentable and must remain hidden from her family? When you go to her house does she walk with you to your car or to get a cab? have you ever set your eyes on her parents and when you did did they drive you out of the house or after you left you heard she was beaten and almost died. In the abscence of this events i believe your sweetheart is not into you. Love makes sacrifices.she did not lift her leg to your house to comfort you, offer a shoulder to lean on during your trauma and YOU believe there is a r/ship.

The writing is clear. This gal has since left you she is waiting for you to get the message yet you insist on holding on to her.  Do not blame her for any pains you are going through you are entirely responsible for all this stress you are putting yourself through and yes the clock is ticking but its ticking for you.

All of what U wrote have just made me start feeling weak. I hope I can continue my jobs for the rest of today (I'm a web designer) How could I have been so blind to all of this?    In love, why should one person suffer all this pain? Why are some girls so cruel? I used to accept and mentally excuse her for not being able to meet up & not to sound demanding, I indulge her but,  THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! 
Andromida, thank u. Can you understand why some guys choose to be players? And to think that she was one of THE FEW GOOD ONES left.
MY MIND IS MADE UP!!! 

Posted on: Yesterday at 12:15:36 PM
Posted by: Wislet
Lol. Calm down. I think u should try and take it a bit easier with her, ok? If she wants to wait a bit more, indulge her. The main issues bothering you are her non visits and the  statement. The visits you understand-she's probably avoiding risking anyone seeing her who might know her parents. So indulge her. But hey! She no be small girl again oo. As for the statement, instead of suffering in silence, talk to her about it ok? She might not hav put much thought to it like u are. [/b]And try to enquire from her if u're still ''the prince of her heart'' so u know where u stand.

A bit more? Seriously, have u tried putting yourself in my place and see how it feels then u could even just ASK FOR MORE.
[b]She might not hav put much thought to it like u are. >>> Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks!
Try to enquire from her if u're still ''the prince of her heart' >>> Only her phone calls and SMS say that!

andromida:
There is no rship here you are in a dreamworld. Move on. If you decide to  talk to her she may confuse you the more, its shall i say over and thank God you are fed up.

Even though am fed up, I believe that it she can still make amends and early too before I let it out,   The clock is ticking.

kpolli:
understand your pains dude. . .

So what do u advice me to do my brother?

Seun:
Precisely.

Seun, have you ever been in love? Things of the heart are not like computers or cars (no pun intended),  some can still be fixed too U know?

Boyloaf:
neva u love a woman more than she loves u! Op u dey mad?

Someone gats to love more in a relationship. Besides, I think u shd go and soak ur name in water and see what happens.

martin2699:
@ poster who told u that you are im a relatiomship? from what I make of your post, This woman looks to have quit the 'relationship (if there was ever any) ages ago and hopes you'll figure that out.

Fortunately there was. Can u tell me ur idea of any PERFECT RELATIONSHIP?

claremont:
I simply don't have a clue what this poster is on about, were is the question?!

My Brother, let me put the question this way: IS SHE TAKING ME FOR A RIDE OR SHE'S JUST PLAINLY IMMATURE AND STILL A DADDY'S GIRL?

M M M:
op
what do u want us 2 do 4 u?  

Pls advice me on what you would do if you found your self in this state.

pendo89:
Op I have read your op 2 times and this is my deduction.

You guys need to spend some time and talk about your feelings.I think you are assuming [/b]a lot of things and expecting the other partner to know what's inside your mind without letting them into your mind.
Do not conclude before you talk.You may be amazed by her response.

We have talked and I poured out the issue to her that her presence close to me now will do a lot of good but it's either we talk it over on the phone or I do the visiting. I doubt if she understands what my expectations are even after times spent together.

obowunmi:
@ OP: ure concerned your gf doesn't come to visit u? And you only go visit her ? Have you xpressed your concern to her ?

My brother, I have expressed it and that's what she considers as a [b]LITTLE ISSUE. She claims she has a  lot of restrictions on her movements and parents do not welcoming her friends (Now this has generated series of arguements as she only welcomes my visits when her folks are not around)

Wislet:
If she loves you, i don't see why she couldn't have visited you since u guys left school, plus service, especially when your mum passed away(accept my condolences dear). Or is she too sheltered? Does her family know about you? If yes, then i dont think there's any excuse she did not pay her condolences to ''someone close to her heart''-that is if u are- personally, Or bothered to see you since leaving school. I mean, you guys are adults and through with school, plus service, so the r/ship can't still be ''children's play''. Besides, why call her absense at the burial a LITTLE ISSUE?? Hey! Are you sure u're not the one pursuing a r/ship that's heading for the rocks? Be careful before you hear (after many years), '' I'm sorry. But i'm engaged to be married to someone else''. Hmmmmmm.

Thanks Wislet. U truly understand my pains     It's amazing that she is always scared to talk about me to her family cos according to her, "they will not welcome any suitor until after her PG studies". Now, this gets me thinking, can't a guy be even introduced as a friend just to cover her tracks and avoid their drama? or do I have to wait until the INTRODUCTION before meeting my girl's Family? Is she just being immature or does not consider me fit to meet her parents (mind you, I am familiar with all her siblings and they call me BROS)
I am confused on what to do dear.  

Wislet:
My dear, let's be sincere here. A partner that acts like the death of his/her lover's parent is ''a little thing'' is to be viewed as wat? Not even a condolence visit, even if after the burial?

NOW THAT'S THE PART THAT IS STILL BOILING IN MA VEINS!!!!  

odiaero:
@ Backward-ever the poster, are u confuse?

Pls read the title again and pause before typing anything. There is no room for name-calling here.

pendo89:
Thank you for highlighting that.
I must admit this post was very difficult to understand so I only picked what I could understand.
That's truly sad.But this girl seems to be soo sheltered to the point that she has lost touch with the emotional part.
Its like she doesn't know how to express herself emotionally and acts tough and hard.
I dont know whether her upbringing is to blame but she needs to soften up and be normal.

I still think they need to really talk till that girl breaks down those walls that have made her soo insensitive.
She could be having issues unsolved and they can help each other out.

WHAT ISSUES? IS IT THAT I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH OR SHE'S JUST MANAGING ME? TO TAKE ME  FOR A RIDE IS ONE THING SHE WILL REGRET DOING!!!!

Hi guys. I really need your say on this matter cos it would actually steer the course of this relationship in the next few months.

I have been dating her for about 4 years (right from school), we both are through with school and she is currently pursuing her PG while am working and hoping for a brighter and rewarding future. We love each other so dearly and look towards settling soon. I always try to please her and be there for her at all times but the ish is that when I do not have the strength to go on like I have been challenged emotionally/financially in the past 2 years, I rely on her love to lift us up but when it doesn't happen, it leaves me disheartened/distressed and even realize that it takes so much for her to sacrifice/compromise for the sake of our relationship (I don't mean sex - she's one of those girls who are tightly sheltered by her parents and it's not like I am asking her to disregard her folks too or want to sleep with her)

All of this compounding over the time has been making me doubt our relationship because she recently called her not making the sacrifice of ever visiting me once since we we've been through with school, when I lost my mum recently and even suffered some trauma as a,   LITTLE ISSUE. (I'm still living in my parents house though cos my mum is late and old man is lonely, but plan getting mine soon).

Although we were always communicating through phone (especially when she was on service but is through now) coupled with the times I was sickly in love, swallowed my ego and still went to visit her after I had sworn never to but forgave her and went to visit her in her parents place.

I can no longer bear it anymore and fed up cos it is as she does not know/understand my feelings seeing her around me.

henryhemon:
Since when did Nysc scheme become the basis for performance?if you choose to waste your one year gud 4u and someone chose not to waste her time and people are crying,how we like trivails things in Nigeria.Does Nysc put food on your table and you can also be exempted from it for other various reasons like sickness e.t.c
Most of those senators has only Ond,so what heck?

Well said man. I will rather employ and pay an OND degree holder or one who attended " evening school" well for his performance as far as he knows where he is going to in life.
Mind you I am not saying that the others cannot, I am just saying that performance is what I will be looking out for.

@ Poster, you are also a girl so why are you calling the kettle black?
And as for the girl helping in choosing his friends, I guess because the friend of your spouse automatically is your friend (quite bitter but true though) she tries to prune them off.
But seriously, No right thinking man would allow a lady control him except she's jazzed him up wt some stuff.

@ Poster, not every guy goes clubbing. Personally, I would rather go to a wedding reception or friend's brthday party to get a nice partner,  def not a club. Spooky if ya ask me.

Jackieugo:
rofl ! 5,7, 10, & 13 ,  the reasons why me and my girls avoid clubs 

Can we meet for lunch or something? Usually lonely after work hours.
frankway86@gmail.com

baby.me:
Most men are intimidated by women who earns more than them. I know most marriages have issues because of this, and IMO if a man thinks he can't stand his wife bringing home more money he should get his a5s out there and do something.

I would not call it intimidation but self-doubt. But it becomes worsened when the woman who you are supposed to be "ONE" with begins to treat you like a good-for-nothing piece of matter.
Now that's what scares me from marriage these days.

Blazay:
A day off at last! Na sleep be dis?  Make I balance well well for my bed. Nothing like a working woman I tellya.

http://www.voanews.com/english/news/a-13-2009-02-11-voa18-68715392.html


Amen to that!
Time for men to become house husbands!
God bless America. . . .my home sweeeeeeeeet home!

Goodluck to you guy! 

These days, i see a lot of marriages torn apart so easily all because of one thing, Money. Not because the money is absent but because the woman earns far more than the husband. I believe it is the duty of the man to lead but sometimes the tables get turned and things go the other way. Given this, the other side of the woman gets revealed and the once-sweet and rosy Mrs becomes a thorn in the man's flesh always throwing his "status" at his face. As a young man, can you marry a lady who earns more than you?

@ Total man,
One keyword I have been able to pick from ur advice is FOCUS.

This has been a major challenge as I am being bombarded with a lot of work load. Now I believe this is a reflection of every typical person in paid employment. The demand of the job and that of the employers make most people to lose sight of their personal advancement and value creation for themselves. Even though this may not be intentional, I've discovered it is just part of everyone's daily life that cannot be wished away.

So I think Brother Kiyosaki shoould visit Nigeria soon and write with The Nigerian's eye.

Thanks for the interest guys.

chamber2:
You have made no point after all this grammar.What exactly do you want?

@Chamber2, u didnt read it thoroughly. A bit of empathy wud do. Thanks.

Bawss1:
Perhaps he wants to know how he can increase his income.


I found the part where he says "I intend settling down start my family few years from now [b]and add value to society" rather amusing. How many people actually say it like that. [/b]

@OP 
You haven't said exactly what it is you do, what kind of industry you work in for anyone to give you any reasonable advice.

Amusing? what is amusing about the value? Whether kids or social responsibility, neither is.
Yeah, rily am interested in increasing my income in the sit-tight, micro-managed firm I work in.

AjanleKoko:
You can easily answer those questions yourself. How does your consulting firm make money from those skills and pieces of information? Follow the same route, or find a bigger firm that can pay you more money, and sell them on your skills. Simple.

@Ajanlekoko, truly u have spoken with much wisdom.

In the past two years of my present career and personal development, I have stumbled upon mind blowing information, new skills and happenings within my area of interest and other areas by virtue of my curiosity, patience and loyalty to the consulting firm that I presently work in. I am faithful to my employer and always protecting and contributing to the down line.
The snag however is that I am not so well paid (salary) to even cater for my transport and feeding and the rest for a young,single guy.
Consequently, I am wondering how these resources at my disposal can be converted to cash cos I intend settling down start my family few years from now and add value to society.
Your advice would be truly appreciated.

all alone. yet seeking new and real friends.

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Its a shame hw porous evry sector of dis country is.

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degubi:
Imagine a scenerio where you make an error at work which makes your Boss scold you, you close work for the day still upset about the comments your boss made, you had earlier arranged to see her niece which you do. She notices how upset you are and after some prodding she discovers why you are upset. Because of her feelings for you she assumes that her aunty was just being irrational, she decides to call her aunty without your knowledge, she expresses her reservation about the way you were treated, the aunty takes offence at being reprimanded by her niece all because of a staff who is under her. She does not take kindly to your discussing office issues with any member of her family, and she feels slighted. She then feels she cannot rebuke you because it might cause a crack in her relationship with her niece and sister.

So how can she be fair in her treatment of you alongside her other staff? Will she be preferential towards you and be firm with your other colleagues. Will her shielding you not bring resentment amongst her staff thereby affecting the work you are all suppossed to be doing?

Its difficult for this to be a win-win situation. You need to understand her position. She might not have anything against your dating her niece but working with her and going out with her niece might undermine her authority over you and this she will not tolerate. Talk with your boss but be ready to compromise.

As a matured man, you dnt hav 2 tell ur lady hw ur day went in d office especially when ur boss is her "mother". Seems childish of d daughter calling and lashing out at her mother becos of her bf. If you guys truly luv each oda, believe dat d discipline is 4ur own good.

Convert your audio/video to texts and ebooks error free. send a mail to: frankway86@gmail.com

Happi bbbbbbbbbbbrthhhhhdaeeeeeeeeeee!!!

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More details pls cos We r interested too.

_{Convert your audio/video to texts and ebooks error free. send a mail to: frankway86@gmail.com}

Convert your audio/video to texts and ebooks error free. send a mail to: frankway86@gmail.com

Convert your audio/video to texts and ebooks error free. send a mail to: frankway86@gmail.com