I want to ask if it is the duty of a guy to fix the bad attitude of his fiance. for example, a lady that gets angry easily and uses rude words at the moment of anger, is it advisable for a guy to remain in such relationship trying to fix her up or give her time to fix herself up? this is my present situation. Honestly, I put the relationship on hold. I really don't know if I acted well so I need guidance from those who care to help a stranger.

thank you

Raylight2:
I want to ask if it is the duty of a guy to fix the bad attitude of his fiance. for example, a lady that gets angry easily and uses rude words at the moment of anger, is it advisable for a guy to remain in such relationship trying to fix her up or give her time to fix herself up? this is my present situation. Honestly, I put the relationship on hold. I really don't know if I acted well so I need guidance from those who care to help a stranger.

thank you

people hardly change(especially, beautifull ladies that gets lots of attention from men), you're likely wasting your time if you think that she would change.

Verbal Abuse is an abuse! And it shouldn't be condoned by any one, Male or Female. A person that can't control his or her tongue when angry has no manners nor self control.

You did right Mister.

have you discus the issue with her? if yes what steps have you taken in trying to help her?is she willing to change?

MariaLavina:
Verbal Abuse is an abuse! And it shouldn't be condoned by any one, Male or Female. A person that can't control his or her tongue when angry has no manners nor self control.

You did right Mister.

but we as human we also have our own bad character some how..

Whatever you cannot live with, don't allow it with the hope that she will change. What if she doesn't?

mikejj:
but we as human we also have our own bad character some how..

You are right. But there is something called compatibility. Compatibility do not only entails characters you both share, or loving/wanting the same thing. It also includes accepting each others Flaws. I.e flaws you can live with or overlook not endure. No one should be put in the position of enduring another. That's simply inhumane.

That said , verbal abuse is more or less equivalent to Domestic abuse. The only difference is while the later is physical, the former is psychological but almost the same effect.And guess what, one leads to another. To avoid stories that touch, space is needed. Let the lady go learn before someone turns to a criminal.

MariaLavina:
You are right. But there is something called compatibility. Compatibility do not only entails characters you both share, or loving/wanting the same thing. It also includes accepting each others Flaws. I.e flaws you can live with or overlook not endured. No one should be put in the position of enduring another. That's simply inhumane.

That said , verbal abuse is more or less equivalent to Domestic abuse. The only difference is while the later is physical, the former is psychological but almost the same effect.And guess what, one leads to another. To avoid stories that touch, space is needed. Let the lady go learn before someone turns to a criminal.

i concur with ur point,but i feel if he loves her nd if there is no any form violence, he shud help her to over cum the attitude,..that is if she is willing 2 change..there is no guarantee that the nxt woman he might wnt to date will not have another kind of bad attitude..

Raylight2:
I want to ask if it is the duty of a guy to fix the bad attitude of his fiance. for example, a lady that gets angry easily and uses rude words at the moment of anger, is it advisable for a guy to remain in such relationship trying to fix her up or give her time to fix herself up? this is my present situation. Honestly, I put the relationship on hold. I really don't know if I acted well so I need guidance from those who care to help a stranger.

thank you

Bro. Nobody is completely perfect. If you truly love her study her after which you bring the topic up when you are in good terms. There are lots of lessons to learn from one another.

mikejj:
have you discus the issue with her? if yes what steps have you taken in trying to help her?is she willing to change?

I've discussed it with her and she said she's ready to change but when she gets angry, she doesn't want to hear from me at times. aside not picking my calls, she bounces them. I am not really happy with it cuz most often I am not the cause of her anger. it's just a transferred aggression. M sorry I am this open in public

MissSweet:


Bro. Nobody is completely perfect. If you truly love her study her after which you bring the topic up when you are in good terms. There are lots of lessons to learn from one another.

I accept that fact. I have my flaws too. I want to study her while the relationship is on hold. I think I rushed into the whole thing. I am afraid of pretence. I don't want such attitude hidden only to resurface when it's too late

mikejj:
i concur with ur point,but i feel if he loves her nd if there is no any form violence, he shud help her to over cum the attitude,..that is if she is willing 2 change..there is no guarantee that the nxt woman he might wnt to date will not have another kind of bad attitude..

hmmmm... noted

MJBOLT:

just make sure you are not dating yourself because that is the new trend

ok bro. I'll make sure

Relationship isn't a rehab

Raylight2:
I've discussed it with her and she said she's ready to change but when she gets angry, she doesn't want to hear from me at times. aside not picking my calls, she bounces them. I am not really happy with it cuz most often I am not the cause of her anger. it's just a transferred aggression. M sorry I am this open in public

sorry bro i understand how u feel...do you think she really loves you...

mikejj:
sorry bro i understand how u feel...do you think she really loves you...

when she's angry, I doubt

I think I should quit

nigerians always think if your relationship isn't suffering then it's not a relationship

use your head.....humans are imperfect ko

it seems you think she's in your life just as a wife, you forgot about having kids? smh

do what rocks you

lilmax:
nigerians always think if your relationship isn't suffering then it's not a relationship

use your head.....humans are imperfect ko

it seems you think she's in your life just as a wife, you forgot about having kids? smh

do what rocks you

thanks but I think first thing first

Raylight2:
when she's angry, I doubt

alright..aside this anger attitude..is she is perfectly ok for you.??do she apologies to you after getting angry, when she must have calm down?

mikejj:
alright..aside this anger attitude..is she is perfectly ok for you.??do she apologies to you after getting angry, when she must have calm down?

yes she does

Raylight2:
yes she does

alright bro if she does..i want you to know that even her she does not like the attitude either..in one way or the other she is feeling bad whenever the attitudes comes up. it not her fault ok.just know that alright..if it is possible for you to go and meet her and say kind words to her,tell her you want to help her to deal with this attitude because u love her,and the attitude is affecting your relationship with her and its hurting you badly..this conversion has to be facially yes not on phone..hope it not a long distance relationship..so she can see the expression on ur face..but be very slow in any decision u want to take..so u dont loose ur gold at it raw stage..if possible get a book that talks about anger for..and if u can get an anger management coach for her..it will be nice...i hope this helps bro.

Quite a dicey situation!!! My suggestions are
1.Stay and try helping her to overcome this shortcoming(may come out either way).
2.Move on, as your effort may not be enough.(Only she can really change.. There is very little you can do).
3.Hang on (I just hope she won't do something she live to regret all her life.
And one final question!! How long will she keep on apologizing? How long will you keep on forgiving her?. Your answers to the above questions will help out greatly. PEACE.

mikejj:
alright bro if she does..i want you to know that even her she does not like the attitude either..in one way or the other she is feeling bad whenever the attitudes comes up. it not her fault ok.just know that alright..if it is possible for you to go and meet her and say kind words to her,tell her you want to help her to deal with this attitude because u love her,and the attitude is affecting your relationship with her and its hurting you badly..this conversion has to be facially yes not on phone..hope it not a long distance relationship..so she can see the expression on ur face..but be very slow in any decision u want to take..so u dont loose ur gold at it raw stage..if possible get a book that talks about anger for..and if u can get an anger management coach for her..it will be nice...i hope this helps bro.

really grateful for your advice bro. God bless you for this. I'll do as said. I'm grateful.

Thank you all for your contributions. I am grateful for your level of understanding and advise. God bless you all and give you more wisdom

Raylight2:
really grateful for your advice bro. God bless you for this. I'll do as said. I'm grateful.

u are welcome...

Raylight2:
Thank you all for your contributions. I am grateful for your level of understanding and advise. God bless you all and give you more wisdom

leopard cannot change its spots