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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? (61069 Views)
At Age 29 to 30 What First Marriage Or Education? / How Do I Save My Marriage / Please Help Save My Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by prizequest: 10:30am On Mar 06, 2019 |
I got married to my wife few months back but she stays in another state due to her work and there had been measures for she to join me until now. One thing she had repeatedly complain about is my low sex drive as she has boosted of how other men in her life before are stallion but she doesnt want me to be one but be able to meet her libido demands. This comparison created psychological issues for me hence the lack of drive and she really want to make a baby due to her age. Not having more sex has made her fight me, attack me, despice and disrespectful but i have pleaded she give me more time to sort things out but she's more persistent hence we'd been separated for 4 months now, 3 more month to our anniversary. Another angle is a week after our traditional wedding, i and wife decided to go to the marriage registry to get a certificate but her dad got to know through her, put a call to me and cursed that my children will disrespect me for not informing him. My Wife is a divorcee from another marriage 30 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by Nobody: 10:56am On Mar 06, 2019 |
If you can't satisfy her from day one, don't bother trying.. 191 Likes 13 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by prizequest: 11:00am On Mar 06, 2019 |
CONTINUED...after she divorced her first husband, we clicked and i collected the marriage list but somehow even when the family gave me the list they introduced her to a more wealthier guy whose business concern affect the family fortune positively but the engagement failed and my wife ran back to me. During the course of her engagement to the other guy my wife kept delaying our ceremony, no longer visit and her family wont tell me any meaningful excuse not until the engagement was put off and she ran back to me and we immediately commenced the marriage process. It Was a week after marriage i discovered everything and despiced her sexually. We have been separated 4 months now but the mom had been calling and begging we reconcilled even employing a marriage counsellor for us but the dad had been indiferent and my wife though pompous had shown signs of reconciliation but wont apologize for the irrational actions that sent her away. There can be reconciliation BUT DO I NEED IT 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by ImaIma1(f): 12:48pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
You were obviously played. They wanted to give her to the highest bidder and when that didn't work out, you were the plan B. Who knows how far that kind of family can go to have their way especially with your wife that seems to be easily influenced. Too much deceit involved in the whole process. The family doesn't seem like a good family. So you have to contend with your wife's excesses and her familys' too. If she goes out of line, will her family caution her or side her against you? The decision lies with you. If you are ok with your wife and you are ready to put up with her attitude and that of her family, it ok, as long it doesn't make you a sad and miserable man eventually. 338 Likes 19 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by mankettle(m): 1:03pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
seems you have a bit of low self esteem to accept to be the second choice. do you need a disrespectful wife who will forever compare your financial and sexual ability? well it's for you to decide. 207 Likes 14 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by ImaIma1(f): 1:45pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
mankettle: He said he got to know everything after they got married. 111 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by chii8(f): 2:02pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Hmmm..guy |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by elmagnifico411(m): 2:23pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Me I don't know what u still want to hear from us. It shows clearly that theyve been playing u. Her demeanours has affected your psyche, hence your low performance sexually. If u agree, u guys will fight again, and again.. from your story, I think u love her more than she loves you and she seen that.. Lastly, there's this Yoruba Addage that says, "omo buruku shee'fe, Ana buruku nio shee'ni." Means marrying a bad wife isn't really a problem, having bad in-laws is the main issue. use your tongue count your teeth. 182 Likes 12 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by mankettle(m): 2:28pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
ImaIma1:as he don know what's he still doing there? 8 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by piroux(f): 2:52pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
ImaIma1: Hian!! Does that seem weird! He must indeed have a low self esteem to not have noticed his supposed fiance was playing with him. Come on! She broke off, came on, disappeared and then ran back to him and he proceeded to marry her without due diligence. People who ask us to investigate people we marry aren't too far off. A few visits to her family would have told him what he is seeing now. I think years you and your wife need a break actually. Check your heart and find out if you want to bring a baby into your situation. If you find you love her enough, discuss things with her- no more bullshit about stallion exes!- she married you, she must live with it. Then come to an agreement about her family. You can't discuss something at home and then she runs off to tell her daddy, when she knows he doesn't wish your marriage well. Agree on how to proceed and pray for God's peace in your home. 59 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by drmikeadams(m): 3:01pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
prizequest:too many ignored red flags 62 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by donstan18: 3:02pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
My Wife is a divorcee from another marriageI'll keep saying this. Divorcees, single mothers and single ladies of 30+ are the last set of women a reasonable man should ever think of getting married to. They are evil and will never give you peace of mind. 150 Likes 16 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by Katier00(f): 3:06pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
prizequest:is this your first marriage? Does she have children from her previous marriage? What do you mean by low sex drive? Have you tried some medications? Where you guys sexually active before marriage or did she just found out after marriage? Was this the only reason for the separation? 25 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by prizequest: 3:10pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
i thought past experience should've instil best behaviour but i am utterly wrong. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 3:13pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Divorce her ASAP! 6 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by prizequest: 3:15pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Katier00: My first marriage yes, no child from her previous. medical report indicate i am sound 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by ExplicitSuccess: 3:21pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Have you made a mistake recently and you are looking for how best to apologize in a professional way? Look no more! I will tell you how to go about it. There are no doubts that we are all humans and we are bound to make some mistakes once in a while but the question is; how do you apologize after you have made that mistake? https://explicitsuccess.com/how-to-apologize-for-a-mistake-professionally/ |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by Katier00(f): 3:24pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
prizequest:give yourself time and relax. Marriage comes with its up and downs. Have a talk with your wife and try to exclude others from it. If she could be transferred to your state to foster the union. She loves you, that's why she ran back to you. Make her happy and one way to do that, is by making her pregnant (you know age is not on her side, that alone could make her aggressive and stubborn). If she is worth fighting for, pls move for peace. 16 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by Diamond23(f): 3:51pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
prizequest:Dat family wz already cursed before u stepped in, in d name of marriage.....pls let go, it’s not a do or die affair. Can’t start now to be imagining wot ur unborn children will turn out to be wot d curse laid on dem 15 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by ImaIma1(f): 4:41pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
4 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by ImaIma1(f): 5:36pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
piroux: He should have been discerning enough to see what was going on 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by babythug(f): 5:55pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
What’s done is done! You’ve got some good advice up here! Dust yourself up and move on QUICKLY! 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by Triniti(m): 6:02pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
So many red flags yet you ignored it, you were gives a marriage list and your bride to be ceased communication with you. That should have raised a lots of eyebrows from you, if not for your low self esteem, you have always wanted to settle for less that’s why the family is playing you like a ping pong. Imagine my future father Inlaw calling to curse me, nah remix amadioha/sango thunder I go send back to him 33 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by Triniti(m): 6:10pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Katier00:loves him my foot, niqqa was a side dude, she was hoping to get married to the rich guy, who probably saw her shenanigans and broke off the engagement, meanwhile her family has given this guy a marriage list then went ahead to betroth her to a higher bidder. Op find out what went wrong with her on first marriage, she and her family are a recipe for disaster, I believe you saw all these trait and still went ahead with her. 86 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by ImaIma1(f): 6:18pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Katier00: Was it love or opportunity and desperation? 9 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by Nobody: 6:22pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
You knew all these things before your marriage. 8 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by revolt(m): 6:58pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
prizequest:oga runnnnnnnnn For ur life .... thank me later. Divorcee already giving u issues. Dem jazz u....shuuu. hope u haven't done the registry o. If u have then u're fcked 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by prizequest: 7:31pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
revolt: registry done. her mom i know aint aiding her. if the engagement had materialized she wont be running back to me so i dont see love even though i was her first date 8 years back. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by ifyalways(f): 8:09pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
People open their eyes and walk into problems sha. The girl and the dad didn't play you, you were foolish. Why did you marry her Solution: walk away or stay miserable 33 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by revolt(m): 5:21am On Mar 07, 2019 |
prizequest:if uve done registry u're in a message already.... Go immediately n file for divorce...before she gets pregnant outside and gves u or gets preggy for u 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by keepingmum: 11:32am On Mar 07, 2019 |
i dont think your wife played you. I think you both have been sexually active and she sussed that you cannot satisfy her sexually hence she made you a 2nd option. She only proceeded with the marriage when the better shagger bailed and being richer than you is just a bonus. Nobody wants to be subjected to a life of shitty shags abeg!! The Fact is sex is very important to both spouses. If you are sexually poor in bed, please and please, sort that issue out because even if your reconciliation doesnt work, your next woman will have issues with you....She may just choose not to be vocal with it. Alot of 9ja men who complain that their wives dont give in to their demands is because their performance in bed is very very poor and rather than improve, they get a side chick....forgetting that the side chick is ONLY with them because of the money that they give her not because of the poor performance in bed. Finally, if you wont reconcile with your wife, please allow her to go elsewhere and remarry as shes obviously desperate to have her own biological kids and your hesitation isnt going to help matters 23 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Save My Marriage Or Let Go? by Nobody: 11:58am On Mar 07, 2019 |
Oga Go Screw your Wife so well, she'll abandon her family and work and cling to you. All these complaints won't solve anything. Be a Man! Don't let another man (her dad) dictate shii to you. There can't b two captains on a Boat for God's sake. 6 Likes 1 Share |
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