It should be a crime punishable by law for women to keep their children from their fathers after a separation. Married or not. You lay with him why is he “ a jobless idiot after the fact?” If the father of the children does not hurt them, wants to be involved don't fight him using the kids.

We think that we are hurting the man but really it's the kids who suffer. Kids need their father as much as they need their mother. Ladies please keep that in mind when fighting these proxy wars with exes. Kids are for life.

Okay

Hmmmmm this is the first time that iam reading something that made sense from you, you may have written many that I have not read so don't get me wrong.
Kudos tho

Well it depends on what happened during the pregnancy e.g what happened when he found out she's pregnant, his reaction; either positive or negative, his involvement during the 9 month period and the day of delivery, some men can be soo annoying that they will start forming caring when they see the baby, they won't remember the insults and the blatant denial of the mother before the birth, well it still boils down to the kind of men ladies chose to be involved with, these days na so so yama yama everywhere, not all sha.

Biglittlelois:
Well it depends on what happened during the pregnancy e.g what happened when he found out she's pregnant, his reaction; either positive or negative, his involvement during the 9 month period and the day of delivery, some men can be soo annoying that they will start forming caring when they see the baby, they won't remember the insults and the blatant denial of the mother before the birth, well it still boils down to the kind of men ladies chose to be involved with, these days na so so yama yama everywhere, not all sha.

The fight is with you, not the child. Careful whom you procreate with.

pointblank247:
Hmmmmm this is the first time that iam reading something that made sense from you, you may have written many that I have not read so don't get me wrong.
Kudos tho

A complimensult.
I will take it.

MissRaine69:


The fight is with you, not the child. Careful whom you procreate with.

Read my post again, what if he denied the pregnancy aka the child thereby traumatise the mother in the process?

Biglittlelois:
Well it depends on what happened during the pregnancy e.g what happened when he found out she's pregnant, his reaction; either positive or negative, his involvement during the 9 month period and the day of delivery, some men can be soo annoying that they will start forming caring when they see the baby, they won't remember the insults and the blatant denial of the mother before the birth, well it still boils down to the kind of men ladies chose to be involved with, these days na so so yama yama everywhere, not all sha.

dat ur third baby daddy really do you 10/10. anyway i hope you don learn your lesson now. don't open leg for another man for now so dat you don't fall for anoda pregnancy out of wedlock

DukeofNZ:


dat ur third baby daddy really do you 10/10. anyway i hope you don learn your lesson now. don't open leg for another man for now so dat you don't fall for anoda pregnancy out of wedlock

Lol nairaland peeps and assumptions, I don't have a child, just making a case for them mamas.

Biglittlelois:


Lol nairaland peeps and assumptions, I don't have a child, just making a case for them mamas.

no provoke me to leak all your secrets to de whole world. keep quiet

Biglittlelois:


Read my post again, what if he denied the pregnancy aka the child thereby traumatise the mother in the process?

This is why you discuss these things instead of assuming he is ready. Besides it’s whats in the best interest of the child not your hurt feelings. If he wants to be involved you should be mature enough to put YOUR personal feelings aside and let him be a father. Most guys are hijacked into fatherhood hence the initial animosity.

Biglittlelois:


Read my post again, what if he denied the pregnancy aka the child thereby traumatise the mother in the process?

You have a point but as the mother you should endeavor not to sway your child's emotion against the father because no matter what he is the father. Let the child grow up and come to the conclusion that the father is a deadbeat by him/herself. This is where most women get it wrong, they set it to a battle line, me and my kids against the man. No matter the unspeakable things done by the father mothers should be guided against this.

DukeofNZ:


no provoke me to leak all your secrets to de whole world. keep quiet

I just remember you're a stalker, you can entertain yourself but please don't derail this thread.

The world is nose diving in case u haven't noticed, nothing x getting better everything x going to sh!t, women would always be women n men would always be men, advises no longer works dix day's....

Biglittlelois:



I just remember you're a stalker, you can entertain yourself but please don't derail this thread.

me stalker you say, anyway make i pity you. no cry you hear. people make una no mind me this my girl no born pikin outside wedlock

MissRaine69:

This is why you discuss these things instead of assuming he is ready. Besides it’s whats in the best interest of the child not your hurt feelings. If he wants to be involved you should be mature enough to put YOUR personal feelings aside and let him be a father. Most guys are hijacked into fatherhood hence the initial animosity.

@bolded is what I'd never agree on, two people had unprotected sex, no party was hijacked into anything, once unprotected sex is involved, the unexpected should be expected, a guy that wants to be involved will not deny the pregnancy at first, he will be a man and accept it in good faith, my point is he should accept ownership of the pregnancy and be responsible after the birth.

DukeofNZ:


me stalker you say, anyway make i pity you. no cry you hear. people make una no mind me this my girl no born pikin outside wedlock

You sound like a kid with a serious problem, get help.

Biglittlelois:



You sound like a kid with a serious problem, get help.

as i say make i pity you now you don begin to parayarn

Biglittlelois:



@bolded is what I'd never agree on, two people had unprotected sex, no party was hijacked into anything, once unprotected sex is involved, the unexpected should be expected, a guy that wants to be involved will not deny the pregnancy at first, he will be a man and accept it in good faith, my point is he should accept ownership of the pregnancy and be responsible after the birth.

Hijacked remains.
IF he tells you is not looking for anything serious why are you not responsible for your own sexual health?
If you know he is with someone else, why are you upset he is treating you like the side chick that you are?
If he dumps you for his wife whom he was never going to leave
Your expectations were never high to begin with.
You are responsible for what goes in and what comes out of your body.

kushercain:



You have a point but as the mother you should endeavor not to sway your child's emotion against the father because no matter what he is the father. Let the child grow up and come to the conclusion that the father is a deadbeat by him/herself. This is where most women get it wrong, they set it to a battle line, me and my kids against the man[b]. No matter the unspeakable things done by the father mothers should be guided against this[/b].

Imagine, unspeakable things, the man didn't remember he's a father before he did the unspeakable things right? Stop justifying evil abeg, mothers should educate the children on the kind of father they have IMO, they can also go and verify the claim if they want cos men like that don't ever change.

Headlesschicken:
The world is nose diving in case u haven't noticed, nothing x getting better everything x going to sh!t, women would always be women n men would always be men, advises no longer works dix day's....

It’s a forum to discuss matters, if that’s not your thing no wallah.

kushercain:



You have a point but as the mother you should endeavor not to sway your child's emotion against the father because no matter what he is the father. Let the child grow up and come to the conclusion that the father is a deadbeat by him/herself. This is where most women get it wrong, they set it to a battle line, me and my kids against the man. No matter the unspeakable things done by the father mothers should be guided against this.

Someone with sense
You get my point.
This is why some mothers get so upset and feel cheated when a child opts to go and live with the absent parent. That child has developed a relationship with the parent despite the mother “poisoning” their mind. If the father is a dead beat dad, let the child see that.

Biglittlelois:



Imagine, unspeakable things, the man didn't remember he's a father before he did the unspeakable things right? Stop justifying evil abeg, mothers should educate the children on the kind of father they have IMO, they can also go and verify the claim if want cos men like that don't ever change.

Believe me what I'm telling you is from a higher point of authority(biblical)and from personal experience. Do you know as a mother you're messing with your child's destiny by creating animosity between the child and father?
This is not about justifying evil, as the mother it's better you don't say pim to the children about the father, if you want to rant or breakdown do it to your friend or family members but not your child.
The father is an important cornerstone of the child's life. If you truly want me to break it down I'll be happy to.
But I repeat as a mother you shouldn't paint any kind of picture about the father be it good or bad, it's difficult but necessary for the child's sake not the father's.

MissRaine69:

Someone with sense
You get my point.
This is why some mothers get so upset and feel cheated when a child opts to go and live with the absent parent. That child has developed a relationship with the parent despite the mother “poisoning” their mind. If the father is a dead beat dad, let the child see that.

Exactly but most women can not separate the emotion. You'll see a mother insulting the father and telling a boy of 4 years things abt the dad so he grows up with that picture of hatred.
Really thought provoking thread I must say, I hope someone reads and ponders

MissRaine69:

Hijacked remains.
IF he tells you is not looking for anything serious why are you not responsible for your own sexual health?
If you know he is with someone else, why are you upset he is treating you like the side chick that you are?
If he dumps you for his wife whom he was never going to leave
Your expectations were never high to begin with.
You are responsible for what goes in and what comes out of your body.

If he is not looking for something serious they both will be responsible for their sexual health
If he has someone else he still won't tell you you're the side chick
If expectations were never high cos of his marital status, you both will be responsible from the onset.
So it is a two way thing, responsibility is for both parties

Hijacked doesn't cut it at all.

Wow other opinions are without sense cos of different views, I'm done here.

MissRaine69:

It’s a forum to discuss matters, if that’s not your thing no wallah.

that should be no wahala.
You've spent 2yrs on this forum.
One would think you'd at least learn to spell these naija slangs right!

Biglittlelois:


Read my post again, what if he denied the pregnancy aka the child thereby traumatise the mother in the process?

The child needs it's father... what part are you not getting. The child should have access to Both parents because that's their right. Forget mum and dad issues. I agree with the op wholeheartedly because it's the women that suffer at the end when things are not done right. Little boys without fathers and little girls without fathers will make babies. It's a sick cycle and it needs to be broken.

I'd go as far as to say that MEN need to fight for their children, it's not one persons responsibility or right.

Biglittlelois:



Imagine, unspeakable things, the man didn't remember he's a father before he did the unspeakable things right? Stop justifying evil abeg, mothers should educate the children on the kind of father they have IMO, they can also go and verify the claim if want cos men like that don't ever change.

And whose loss is it? The man? You're funny.

Bless this lady-OP,Guide her past the path of feminism and let not her eyes fall to slumber in the evil of the machinations of her female counter-parts,All this I ask through Christ our Lord.Amen.

MissRaine69:
It should be a crime punishable by law for women to keep their children from their fathers after a separation. Married or not. You lay with him why is he “a jobless idiot after the fact?” If the father of the children does not hurt them, wants to be involved don't fight him using the kids.

We think that we are hurting the man but really it's the kids who suffer. Kids need their father as much as they need their mother. Ladies please keep that in mind when fighting these proxy wars with exes. Kids are for life.

^^^^^^
^^^^^^
^^^^^^
@MissRaine69

Are you speaking from personal experience?
Are YOU married or not?
Do you have kids from such a relationship situation?


I can see that you have very RADICAL or CONTRARIAN views about
issues. You seem to love challenging the norm.

If the father of the children does not hurt them, wants to be involved don't fight him using the kids.

We think that we are hurting the man but really it's the kids who suffer. Kids need their father as much as they need their mother. Ladies please keep that in mind when fighting these proxy wars with exes. Kids are for life.

The above quote from YOU is a BRILLIANT summation. Very apt.


"MY MAJOR TAKE ON THIS"
Some women who got impregnated through rape or consent by some
dead beat guys have been known to tell their kids that their fathers ARE DEAD!

I know an African-American guy in his late 40s who impregnated up
to 5 different women over the years, but was not involved in their lives
because according to him he was "NOT ABLE."


Eventually when he got struck by "thunder" and his eyes became
clear, he had to seek for DNA tests to prove that his 5 children
who were in their 20s to early 30s from 5 different women
are his. Dude started having kids in his late teens and was
a major player who manipulated women. The beauty of the
whole thing is that all the children were happy to identify with
their very handsome father and had even started to connect
via Facebook with one another before the DNA results came out!

The man had even become a grandfather through some of his children
as of 2015.