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I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by kelitacliff(m): 10:37am On Apr 03, 2019
Preshy561:

Nice one.
Nope, don't bother.
okay then.. have a blossom Wednesday

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Nobody: 10:57am On Apr 03, 2019
Tessasset:
You should get a good life
he will keep cheating . Na dem way. bt will say he loves u. So many married men out there are like that claim to love their wives bt fuk anything under squirt
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Adaibeku(f): 11:02am On Apr 03, 2019
Better kill him
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Donjazzy12(m): 11:29am On Apr 03, 2019
gaby:
Hmmm....

If you are sure the relationship is still salvageable seeing how much you still love him coupled with his show of remorse, how about to give yourself time to get over this betrayal, have a deep heart to heart with him on how you won't be condoning such stabs from behind in the future and get on with it.

The truth I see is that, your bf like most of us men never expected you'd see his philandering chats or else he'd have erased every traces of them from his phone.

The remorse could be genuine or more of "I Bleep up..why I forget to erase the chats' and could herald the beginning of a new revamped and international cheater who'd be doing so with the mind of making sure he never gets found out this cheap going forward.

A very deadly mix you now have in your hands..just keep smart, vigilant and let not your guards down.

If your hunches are convincing that he isn't changed...drop his arse like a hot potato and soldier on...

Guys yakpa for town...no time for dulling. ..

Wish you well...
How can a man write this?
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Donjazzy12(m): 11:31am On Apr 03, 2019
Tessasset:
Hello Romancelanders, please I'd like to have your opinions. I wish I had someone I could talk to offline. cry

My boyfriend went for NYSC last year and during his service year, we were very cool. The distance didn't affect us, he came home for a reasonable number of times and we communicated everyday. He never failed to tell me how much he loves me and can't wait to be done with service. He had his pop a little while ago and finally came home.
Everything seemed fine and we had a few catch ups but something didn't feel right within me so I asked if he had been with someone else on a regular basis, he denied and I believed him completely. A couple of days later we were both viewing his phone gallery and I noticed a picture in particular, the picture had him and a female friend in it and the setting was a bit too intimate for a platonic one, this sparked some questions in me because he used to tell me about the lady, they met when he went for service and he never gave me any reason think twice about their friendship, he has many friends so I just thought of it as normal. I have never gone through my bf's WhatsApp chats, not that he kept his phone away or anything but it just never occurred to me to do so, I trusted and respected him so much, highest I did was to take pictures and play music. I decided to check his phone after what I saw, I went straight to his conversation with the lady and what I saw left me in total shock, they have been having a sexual relationship, from what I deduced, they started having sex around the third month into his service year. Their chats left nothing to be imagined and they said so many nasty stuff, sent almost nude pictures, they professed love and always talked about being in each other's arms. The Lady in question knows my boyfriend is in a relationship and my name came up in their Convo many times. There was a time my bf came home and we hung out, he actually sent our pictures to the lady and with all audacity she asked if he had sex with me, I can't remember what his reply was. Another time, she told my boyfriend that she has broken up with her bf and that he shouldn't waste time to do same with me, he told her he wasn't going to do anything like that. I was appalled at this point already cos the guy made a complete fool of me, I was like the "small girl somewhere" in their Convo....I told him about all I saw and how he should have done better than that, he was shocked I did and was more shocked that I took it calmly cos I didnt rant, didn't walk out, just had a civil conversation with him. He has been really remorseful and said he is more sorry that I got to see their chats, he said the girl means nothing to him and he told her countless times that they can't be together cos he loves me, he asked if I went thru their chats very well, asked if I noticed he always told her he can't leave his gf.. honestly he did mention that several times to her but he thought he could have his way with her as par nysc fun, it doesn't make any sense to me. He's been really down and said I should take my time to think it through, he said he'd take my decision in good faith cos he has permanently scarred our relationship. I told him I'd need some time alone.
Honestly, I still love him and would love to put the issue behind us but I keep remembering all I read, It might have been relatively easy for me if he did with another girl but the girl in question?? He paraded her as a good and supportive friend while they had stuff going on. I'm really hurt, never been so heartbroken.
cry
Hehehehe! I am actually happy to see a woman complain openly in Nairaland about being heart broken for a change! Usually, it is just these indomie boys.

If he actually told his fling that he cannot leave you in their private chats, then I think you should give him a second chance.
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Nobody: 12:11pm On Apr 03, 2019
BecaciaBarbie:

Wow! It seems the word "Good" now carries an opposite meaning!

Excuse me, what do you mean by him being a good guy? He lied to her, cheated on her and you are here trying to justify his acts? I ain't going to tell you what to do op, but you need to seek God for your own "God ordained spouse" and remember God won't give you what won't make you happy and give you rest and peace of mind. Stay Blessed, life is too short to be broken over a guy.

All ye Holier than thou crew.

When will y'all realise the fact that God doesn't give spouse or whatever you called it?
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by SmellingAnus(m): 2:31pm On Apr 03, 2019
Preshy561:

True, that's why most of you take to your heels when you hear a no sex relationship. smiley
Especially when she is not a virgin... grin
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Preshy561(f): 2:38pm On Apr 03, 2019
SmellingAnus:
Especially when she is not a virgin... grin
When she's not a virgin, you tend to stay to know if your luck can actually work one day. But, if she's a virgin, it's a no go area, you wouldn't think twice before leaving the relationship.
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by SmellingAnus(m): 2:45pm On Apr 03, 2019
Preshy561:

When she's not a virgin, you tend to stay to know if your luck can actually work one day. But, if she's a virgin, it's a no go area, you wouldn't think twice before leaving the relationship.
Lol... I am not even a fan of virgins... I have stayed with virgins and asked them to keep it... But I can't stay with a non-virgin and she tells me and insist on no sex ... I go just leave because I will assume there is something she is hiding from me... Anyway, I had also been in a no sex relationship of which I initiated the no-sex stuff from the beginning and the girl later left me although she tried coming back after some months but me don move on...
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Preshy561(f): 2:52pm On Apr 03, 2019
SmellingAnus:
Lol... I am not even a fan of virgins... I have stayed with virgins and asked them to keep it... But I can't stay with a non-virgin and she tells me and insist on no sex ... I go just leave because I will assume there is something she is hiding from me... Anyway, I had also been in a no sex relationship of which I asked for it from the beginning and the girl later left me although she tried coming back after some months but me don move on...
@emboldened, I don't know why some guys think this way though.
Would you have preferred if she lied to you?

@last statement, she was not your type and she agreed to no sex relationship cos, she thought it was gonna be easy for her. And maybe, not to appear cheap as some guys normally label ladies. I wonder why she wasn't bold enough to state what she wants in the first place, coward may be.
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by SmellingAnus(m): 2:56pm On Apr 03, 2019
Preshy561:

@emboldened, I don't know why some guys think this way though.
Would you have preferred if she lied to you?

@last statement, she was not your type and she agreed to no sex relationship cos, she thought it was gonna be easy for her. And maybe, not to appear cheap as some guys normally label ladies. I wonder why she wasn't bold enough to state what she wants in the first place, coward may be.
I agree with you... Cos she was actually fvcking someone else .... She tried her best for some years to get back to my life even when she was in another relationship... I no go lie... After that relationship, I hardly involved my self with any no-sex relationship... I will rather practice abstinence of which I normally do than to be with a girl and there will be no sex... That experience made me feel like a fool sad
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Preshy561(f): 2:58pm On Apr 03, 2019
SmellingAnus:
I agree with you... Cos she was actually fvcking someone else .... She tried her best for some years to get back to my life even when she was in another relationship... I no go lie... After that relationship, I hardly involved my self with any no-sex relationship... I will rather practice abstinence of which I normally do than to be with a girl and there will be no sex... That experience made me feel like a fool sad
You were unlucky with her.
Sorry about that.
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Nobody: 6:23pm On Feb 09, 2022
Tessasset your bf loves you more than you think.Just move on with him.Alot of men cheat and upon that abuse their partner.You're a very wise lady too for taking heart.He's a good guy and that's why he didn't deny or become mad at you.If you need someone to talk to,I'd advise you dm me and I believe you won't be so heartbroken.
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Blaxie: 12:04am On Feb 10, 2022
Even if you choose to forgive him,you can never forget the act..the way you view him will never belike the start..patch your broken heart and move on my dear,so other guys can see something to break in future.
Re: I Need Mature Advice, Please. My Bf Had An Affair!! by Lordedifice1: 8:15am On Feb 10, 2022
All i can say is Bleep relationship
Relationship is overrated
Just go and marry relationship is not for singles
Is either one of the genders breaks your goddamn heart.
I have tried relationship and it didn't work even though it wasn't my fault.
Anything relationship hand boot

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