we both work in same campany, then he asked me for a date i told him i never wished and won't date where i work. he said i shouldnt mind what people will say that what matter is that he want me for real.i told him i will not be confortable dating someone in my office. he decided he will get another job and leave the company to make sure we go out. he was so persistent that i couldnt help but fall in love with him thou on platonic level. he never invited me to his house but he told me the area where he stays. he cares, makes me feel loved and happy, and he is so happy with me, he cares everything like God sent. one day he told me he want to see  me for a talk on which he started by telling me that thou his close friend said  he shouldnt tell me now but he doesnt no how to hide anything from me that there is a girl he was about marryin that after introduction betrayed him by sleeping with her former boyfriend and now that she is pregnant she does' no who owns the pregnancy and for the fact that he has done some introduction on her she is under his care right now in his house with his mother till after birth when they would ascertain the owner of the pregnancy. i felt so bad and told him to go back and reconcile with her since they have started something but he dint want to hear this. then i started looking for ways to free myself cos i dont want to come inbetween their mariage, as i  tried avoiding him, he noticed and told me dat am the only thing he have now that if i leave him he is finished. infact fews day before he got  new job and left our company he told me that the girl has deliverd a baby girl that after six weeks test would prove who owns baby and after which she will leave  whether or not the baby belong to him or not. today he called me from where he works and told me the uncle said the baby belong to him and he should get ready for some traditional stuff. Now he said he is making arrangement to travle out that i should get ready to move with him that he can no longer stay here, i have tried to calm him down not to runaway that it wont solve the situation but he sound so hurt, he said i want ot get maried to anther person thats why i dont wont to run with him. pls my fellow nairalanders is dis relationship heathy? what do you think i should do, i l appreciate your candid advise, thanx.

[size=13pt]Nigerian Men and excuses, I meant Nigerian woman and their FISH BRAINS![/size]

--190--:

[size=13pt]Nigerian Men and excuses, I meant Nigerian woman and their FISH BRAINS![/size]

Get yourself a glass. Fill it up with cyanide. Then drink it.

Beync:

we both work in same campany, then he asked me for a date i told him i never wished and won't date where i work. he said i shouldnt mind what people will say that what matter is that he want me for real.i told him i will not be confortable dating someone in my office. he decided he will get another job and leave the company to make sure we go out. he was so persistent that i couldnt help but fall in love with him thou on platonic level. he never invited me to his house but he told me the area where he stays. he cares, makes me feel loved and happy, and he is so happy with me, he cares everything like God sent. one day he told me he want to see  me for a talk on which he started by telling me that thou his close friend said  he shouldnt tell me now but he doesnt no how to hide anything from me that there is a girl he was about marryin that after introduction betrayed him by sleeping with her former boyfriend and now that she is pregnant she does' no who owns the pregnancy and for the fact that he has done some introduction on her she is under his care right now in his house with his mother till after birth when they would ascertain the owner of the pregnancy. i felt so bad and told him to go back and reconcile with her since they have started something but he dint want to hear this. then i started looking for ways to free myself cos i dont want to come inbetween their mariage, as i  tried avoiding him, he noticed and told me dat am the only thing he have now that if i leave him he is finished. infact fews day before he got  new job and left our company he told me that the girl has deliverd a baby girl that after six weeks test would prove who owns baby and after which she will leave  whether or not the baby belong to him or not. today he called me from where he works and told me the uncle said the baby belong to him and he should get ready for some traditional stuff. Now he said he is making arrangement to travle out that i should get ready to move with him that he can no longer stay here, i have tried to calm him down not to runaway that it wont solve the situation but he sound so hurt, he said i want ot get maried to anther person thats why i dont wont to run with him. pls my fellow nairalanders is dis relationship heathy? what do you think i should do, i l appreciate your candid advise, thanx.

This seems very fast. Can you tell us how long you guys have been dating?

On the other hand, you seem very reasonable. You can keep it up by choosing not to let your emotions take over. Ignore what he's saying about there being someone else you want to marry. Guys always say that and its really just emotional blackmail.
Also, what he told you is just that - its what HE told you. There is no guarantee that what he is saying is the truth and not just a pack of lies. He might already be married to her. Do you know that? All he has to do is tell her "Baby, I'll be away for a few days " and you will be told "Honey, let's run away together. " And when some months have gone by, he eventually disappears. You don't see him again. You've left your job, your home and your country because of some guy who wants extra booty.

Please do NOT run away with him. Even if you must, then please go on a thorough investigation to make sure that all he says is true. Wherever he chooses to go is his business. But you cannot take the risk of running away with someone who cannot even stay for the sake of his own child. Remember the old saying ; What someone does to someone else is what they will do to you.

its about 4 months now. i will have to investigate more about what hapened and what he is saying. thou i dont no much about his people but there is one of his brother we visited on two occation, i will find out from him.
thanx so much, i appriate ur sincere advice.

finding out from the brother is a no no,dont even do it, if your bf has some hidden secrets its only his brother whom he introduced you that might know what it is, for him to have introduced you to him do not expect anything reasonable info frm his bros, you have got to do it some other way,that brother of his and ur bf are like birds of a feather go to him,you waste your time

Do not run away with him,he has a child for the sake of that child stay away from him,if his wife to be slept wt another man no reasonable mother will take that same woman to her sons house until she puts to bed even if they r married nt to talk of engaged.

If he's willing to run away with you for a few months then he'd run awa from you as well once u become pregnant with his child. Although i dont think he is truly running awa all he wants is sex and once he gets it, he is off

I repeat do not get infos from his brothers or sisters, they will not ruin their brother and tell u tales, the chances of them betraying their brother because of an outsider is slim

Get your info from any other person but good friends or family relations

@ poster ;

4 MONTHS!!! Oti oooo. Please don't even think about running away with him. If it was something like 6 years or so, I could understand. But 4 MONTHS. Babe, please forget about him. And forget about asking his brother what's going on. Guys stand by each other and they will never tell you the truth. Unless of course, his brother is truly a good person. But that is unlikely.

Asking someone to run away with you after 4 months is a huge red flag. It is very possible that he is motivated by lust and not love. I was going to tell you to investigate, but now I don't think you should waste your time. Please forget about this guy. He needs to buckle down and accept his responsibilities.

pls poster, DONT run away with him, for all i care he might have already married her~

am now fully convinced of what to do, am not thinking of runing away with him. infact today i cried myself out realizing how i got myself to the wrong person, all the same, no matter how painfull it is, i v learnt my lesson, life continues. tanx to u all, two heads they are better than one.

Black Women and silly moves.

MOBO444:

Black Women and silly moves.

pls drop this thing you have against black women.

Just four months sha. Women need to make it a lot harder for men, seriously.
We are not oyibo women oh!! When you make it so easy, you have little or no value.

Just four months and una don reach this level.

Poster:
Deed has been done. The only advice I can give is for you to stay away for a while and see how it plays out. Good luck oh! And better luck next time (incase this one doesnt work out)

And to all you lying, deceitful men, karma is real!

Specialist900:

pls drop this thing you have against black women.

Drop what, is the poster not Black and is she not a women, so what should I have said, Green or Pink woman.

He is a married man. Thank your God that you've not fallen in love with your neck too deep

But I respect him for his openess

love nwa nti nti

hehehe

Imagine a thread,

what's wrong with it?

REALITY101:

Imagine a thread,

pls u better skip a tread if it does'nt appeal to u.

This is just a catastrophic accident waiting to happening. I wouldnt touch this clown with a 60ft barge pole. What happens when he decides to runaway with another flossie that catches his fancy? Besides you've only known the clown for 4 months.

Four months? What do you REALLY know about him? Nothing I assume. I believe the creep is already married and running away from his responsibility. If not, why didn't he say that he was engaged to be married in the beginning of your relationship? Why didn't he tell you then that his fiancée was having sex with other men and pregnant for what he thinks is for another man?

You really need to investigate this guy to see if he is even remotely telling the truth. That is , if you are still at all interested. But to me, this man sounds like a liar. And using emotional blackmail to get you to take to your heels and run away with him. Guilt trip? No, I don't think so. Four months is too early and from the looks of it, he dosen't even seem worth the effort of "finding out" the truth.

agreed.

@poster

The good thing about you honey is the fact that you are thinking with your head and not your heart. Cry if it makes you feel better but whilst crying please also shed d tears of joy as well,because you are so lucky that this is just 4mnths gone,u have lost absolutely nothing

Beync:

we both work in same campany, then he asked me for a date i told him i never wished and won't date where i work. he said i shouldnt mind what people will say that what matter is that he want me for real.i told him i will not be confortable dating someone in my office. he decided he will get another job and leave the company to make sure we go out. he was so persistent that i couldnt help but fall in love with him thou on platonic level. he never invited me to his house but he told me the area where he stays. he cares, makes me feel loved and happy, and he is so happy with me, he cares everything like God sent. one day he told me he want to see me for a talk on which he started by telling me that thou his close friend said he shouldnt tell me now but he doesnt no how to hide anything from me that there is a girl he was about marryin that after introduction betrayed him by sleeping with her former boyfriend and now that she is pregnant she does' no who owns the pregnancy and for the fact that he has done some introduction on her she is under his care right now in his house with his mother till after birth when they would ascertain the owner of the pregnancy. i felt so bad and told him to go back and reconcile with her since they have started something but he dint want to hear this. then i started looking for ways to free myself cos i dont want to come inbetween their mariage, as i tried avoiding him, he noticed and told me dat am the only thing he have now that if i leave him he is finished. infact fews day before he got new job and left our company he told me that the girl has deliverd a baby girl that after six weeks test would prove who owns baby and after which she will leave whether or not the baby belong to him or not. today he called me from where he works and told me the uncle said the baby belong to him and he should get ready for some traditional stuff. Now he said he is making arrangement to travle out that i should get ready to move with him that he can no longer stay here, i have tried to calm him down not to runaway that it wont solve the situation but he sound so hurt, he said i want ot get maried to anther person thats why i dont wont to run with him. pls my fellow nairalanders is dis relationship heathy? what do you think i should do, i l appreciate your candid advise, thanx.

When are women going to realise that Men are a bunch of lairs

Jeez girl wht is wrong with you? If he wants to leave his wife and daughter then that's his own cup of tea. Why are you making it your problem?

If he wants to run away why do you want to get involved. If you were the one entagled in this kind of mess do you think he'll touch you with a a 10 foot pole? Think girl think!

The man is full of crap and for the sake of your future, dont go down with him!

ADVICE D GUYS TO STAY PUT AND MARRY D GIRL. WAS TO DO INTRODUCTION? WAS SHE PREGNANT B4 D INTRO OF INTRO B4 D PREGNANCY. HOWEVER THIS IS LESSON FOR GALS WEY DEY TAKE PREG HOOK GUYS.

BECAREFUL GAL DONT BE GULLIBLE

Promise is a comfort to a fool.


Running away may seem to be the best and the easiest way to solve

all your "problems" but guess what . . . . they follow you wherever you

go. Act like the adult you want to be treated like,take responsibilities

for whatever ails you,and fix it.

He wants to take you away from families and friends . . . .this is a sign of

a controlling man who wants you isolated from any kind of support.

Put every choice to a test of time. Time will tell.

Will the relationship last the test of time if you run away with him (personally I don't think so).

Will he come back if he travelled alone now, or can I go and meet him if he travelled now. (Looks more like it).

He might want to run away from family pressure of forcing him to marry somebody he is not in love with.

Take a deep breadth, take him away from your mind and think deep.

What will you be living on where u guys run to?

, May the force be with you

bodrin:

ADVICE D GUYS TO STAY PUT AND MARRY D GIRL. WAS TO DO INTRODUCTION? WAS SHE PREGNANT B4 D INTRO OF INTRO B4 D PREGNANCY. HOWEVER THIS IS LESSON FOR GALS WEY DEY TAKE PREG HOOK GUYS.

BECAREFUL GAL DONT BE GULLIBLE

i have told him to go and marry the girl, i have absolutely put averythin about him behind, i try not not pick his calls so he can forget about me.

Bravo girl!
I commend you for using your brain early enough in this matter. Just keep strong and maintain your standards.

Kanou:

Bravo girl!
I commend you for using your brain early enough in this matter. Just keep strong and maintain your standards.

i will, tanx.