lilwetdick:


your logic is fluid..so i shouldn't write about what I don't know, if I don't know I wouldn't be writing this at first..it is like telling someone not to speak at all, I am sure you don't own my freedom of speech and expression so I can write whatever I want.

you can also tell this to social scientists and economist, they shouldn't speculate or budget for the future because we don't know the future

Fair point. On the other hand, you ain’t yet married. Though your post seems valid. I’m hoping to do a write up on how young men can pick their wives. I have noticed that young men do not really get great advice from elderly ones on how to pick their wives.

gloria34:
Dont bother yourself, all of them shouting love and understanding knows that no marriage will work without money. Make money, then find that someone who loves you or maybe you guys are already dating, make money then make it official. Like you said, he dont have to be a millionaire. I know a couple who both receive 50k each (they work in same firm) and they are managing well, let them sit there shouting love and understanding only

A man who goes by this advice may not make money till he is 50. Research has shown that as men age, their financial stability improves. Hence, are you suggesting that men should wait till they advance age wise before they get married.

No girl can love a broke man and marriage cannot work without money. These are two things. The former is a red pill philosophy and the latter is common sense. A family is an economic unit, without money, suffering abounds in such units.

Boss13:


Fair point. On the other hand, you ain’t yet married. Though your post seems valid. I’m hoping to do a write up on how young men can pick their wives. I have noticed that young men do not really get great advice from elderly ones on how to pick their wives.

pls do i am very interested

lilwetdick:
Money is very important in marriage whether you like it or not and if you like call each other gold diggers, the lack of money will be the downfall of your marriage, also sex and differences in ideas in child training can also destroy a marriage but the lack of money is the greatest of all, you don't have to be a billionaire or a millionaire to be in marriage but you need to have enough money to take care of your wife and kids when you eventually have one. let's be realistic, a family is not only a social and emotional unit but also an economic unit that needs cash to survive and sustain, the lack of it will definitely destroy this unit. no wonder, we see a lot of men and young boys run away from their wives and girlfriends when they get them pregnant, it is not because they are not ready but because of lack of job and cash to take up the responsiblity.

pls let's be real with ourselves, I love you can not only sustain a marriage, at first it will be nice but when reality struck in, that sweet love will turn to sweet hate and disrespect even from your children. this is not about gold digging but about the reality of life, if you like, continue deceiving yourselves with unrealistic stuff about women and some red pill or blue pill nonsense, it is fun reading those stuff when you are young, Hot, bored and unmarried, but then when you want to get married, money and the ability to work will be a determinate factor for her to know if you can take care of yourself, her and future kids.,

who is gonna pay the kid school fees, who is gonna buy diapers and do many things that requires cash, pls if you are not ready for marriage, don't do it, forget love, love will surely die, if you are not ready for taking this solid responsibility as a man, pls don't do it, masculinity is a hard job, masculinity is constantly working and taking responsibilities and the lack of job and the inability to work to take care of the family can kill and destroy a man self-esteem.

so why do rich ppl divorce? The problem with Nigerians is just that life is so hard and ppl cannot afford basic easily so now we are wired to think that once you have money all your problems are solved...lol.

lilwetdick:



lets see if love and understanding will pay for food, will send your children to school, will pay for healthcare when one of your children get sick or will pay for waec and jamb fees.

true love and understanding only happen on American movies, not in real life situation... so-called love surely can conquer things on movies but doesn't conquer things when the family is in hunger in real life

how do you define lack of money? How much do you need to have for us to now say you don't lack money? Are you aware that some ppl earn 500k a month and they are still on debt? Please help me define lack of money and also help me relate it to the rich that are also having problems in their marriage. Thanks

lilwetdick:


NO

so how can a single person just wake up and type rubbish to teach ppl about marriage when he or she doesn't even have a single experience....

IamPlato:
True Love And Understanding Cannot Be Bought... Money Is One Out Of Many Problems

Scam

lilwetdick:


your logic is fluid..so i shouldn't write about what I don't know, if I don't know I wouldn't be writing this at first..it is like telling someone not to speak at all, I am sure you don't own my freedom of speech and expression so I can write whatever I want.

you can also tell this to social scientists and economist, they shouldn't speculate or budget for the future because we don't know the future

3 yrs old shut up

loswhite:
how do you define lack of money? How much do you need to have for us to now say you don't lack money? Are you aware that some ppl earn 500k a month and they are still on debt? Please help me define lack of money and also help me relate it to the rich that are also having problems in their marriage. Thanks

Kai

How can someone earning 500k b indebt?

loswhite:
so why do rich ppl divorce? The problem with Nigerians is just that life is so hard and ppl cannot afford basic easily so now we are wired to think that once you have money all your problems are solved...lol.

why 90% are faking it.

Boss13:


A man who goes by this advice may not make money till he is 50. Research has shown that as men age, their financial stability improves. Hence, are you suggesting that men should wait till they advance age wise before they get married.

I never insinuated that. I said a man Dont need to be a millionaire but should at least have enough cash to cater for himself, a wife and kid before thinking about marriage cause love and understanding will never be enough.

lilwetdick:


i can imagine, anytime there is an economic meltdown, many marriages get destroyed.. I think people won't believe the number of marriages that just act like strangers in Nigeria because of the lack of cash... no money..no sex, they just stay in the marriage just because of the children.

My guy no be lie oooo you finish it

Good topic

At times if I don't have funds to give to the lady

I usually satisfy with my very long Rod of 7.8 inches and at the end she is pleased and usually tell her friend about me as well.

To a point I turn to celebrity

lilwetdick:
Money is very important in marriage whether you like it or not and if you like call each other gold diggers, the lack of money will be the downfall of your marriage, also sex and differences in ideas in child training can also destroy a marriage but the lack of money is the greatest of all, you don't have to be a billionaire or a millionaire to be in marriage but you need to have enough money to take care of your wife and kids when you eventually have one. let's be realistic, a family is not only a social and emotional unit but also an economic unit that needs cash to survive and sustain, the lack of it will definitely destroy this unit. no wonder, we see a lot of men and young boys run away from their wives and girlfriends when they get them pregnant, it is not because they are not ready but because of lack of job and cash to take up the responsiblity.

pls let's be real with ourselves, I love you can not only sustain a marriage, at first it will be nice but when reality struck in, that sweet love will turn to sweet hate and disrespect even from your children. this is not about gold digging but about the reality of life, if you like, continue deceiving yourselves with unrealistic stuff about women and some red pill or blue pill nonsense, it is fun reading those stuff when you are young, Hot, bored and unmarried, but then when you want to get married, money and the ability to work will be a determinate factor for her to know if you can take care of yourself, her and future kids.,

who is gonna pay the kid school fees, who is gonna buy diapers and do many things that requires cash, pls if you are not ready for marriage, don't do it, forget love, love will surely die, if you are not ready for taking this solid responsibility as a man, pls don't do it, masculinity is a hard job, masculinity is constantly working and taking responsibilities and the lack of job and the inability to work to take care of the family can kill and destroy a man self-esteem.

You a made alot of sense. Bless you

lilwetdick:


i can imagine, anytime there is an economic meltdown, many marriages get destroyed.. I think people won't believe the number of marriages that just act like strangers in Nigeria because of the lack of cash... no money..no sex, they just stay in the marriage just because of the children.

If a marriage crashes because of money, it means that money was what was holding them together. No love...no friendship...just money.

And if they claim to love each other, it is not the lack of money that broke them up but their inability to manage the situation, stick together and find a solution.

Marriage takes work and the way your marriage turns out is based on the work you put into it.

op is sounding very realistic and logical .but stop telling us what we know already.why are so many men of marriageable age unmarried in this country its simply because they lack the finance and hence the large number of unmarried ladies ,women are setting an unrealistically high standard on their preference for men .on other hand can marriage thrive without love and affection even when there is money ?i guess you should ask dino melayes ex wife if money is all that is needed to or probaby tiwa savage or yvonne jegede.all these topics are just to put pressure on men .am starting to have a rethink about getting married because i cannot come and die in my 40s because i want to please my woman and family in this,hard economy shikena...

ImaIma1:


If a marriage crashes because of money, it means that money was what was holding them together. No love...no friendship...just money.

And if they claim to love each other, it is not the lack of money that broke them up but their inability to manage the situation, stick together and find a solution.

Marriage takes work and the way your marriage turns out is based on the work you put into it.

Most marriages crash because of money even when there is love..there is a limit to love and friendships.... love at first might be a great motivator for both couple to come together but when reality strucks, no food to eat, no money to take care of kids and pay bills lets see how love and friendship will solve the situation.

you dont have to be a millionaire to get into one but you need to have some cash to substain and make one work..this is reality and not hollywood movies.

lilwetdick:


Most marriages crash because of money even when there is love..there is a limit to love and friendships.... love at first might be a great motivator for both couple to come together but when reality strucks, no food to eat, no money to take care of kids and pay bills lets see how love and friendship will solve the situation.

you dont have to be a millionaire to get into one but you need to have some cash to substain and make one work..this is reality and not hollywood movies.

They don't crash because of money. They crash because they were not able to manage the financial difficulty at that time.

Or do you think all the marriages that are still going strong never went through money problems? Why didn't they break up? They looked for a way around it and out of it. Afterall, their vows said "for better for worse".

The ones that broke up at the sight of money issues had nothing holding them together except money.

ImaIma1:


They don't crash because of money. They crash because they were not able to manage the financial difficulty at that time.

Or do you think all the marriages that are still going strong never went through money problems? Why didn't they break up? They looked for a way around it and out of it. Afterall, their vows said "for better for worse".

The ones that broke up at the sight of money issues had nothing holding them together except money.

At the bolded shows the importance of money in a marriage. it is easy for a marriage to work in a loveless marriage with cash than in loveless marriage without cash.

marriages are going to money problems but many of them are staying because of the children and our negative view of divorce, check that marriage and see the frictions, the lack of communication, the nagging, the lack of sex and many other problems we do not see.

Money holds a marriage strong, infact money makes love sweeter.

That is why I always tell the Ladies to make money first before getting pregnant.

ImaIma1:


If a marriage crashes because of money, it means that money was what was holding them together. No love...no friendship...just money.

And if they claim to love each other, it is not the lack of money that broke them up but their inability to manage the situation, stick together and find a solution.

Marriage takes work and the way your marriage turns out is based on the work you put into it.

God bless you for this write up. I don't need to write anything else.

Money has its place, but the Op logic falls when we realize that many rich celebs and people Also divorce . which shows money isnt everything.

The problem nowdays is most guys have no value except their money, remove his money and he is totally useless, But a man should be able to have a personality with value in addition to his money, so when he goes broke, the wife still remember there are some qualities he has which she may not found in other men, and so she will endure the moment , of course there are couples who stick to each other despite financial challenges. Value matters

I disagree lack of discipline cuddled with being insensitive some poor people are still married and put their minds together even more then these separate room marriages.

Intimacy is not just spreading legs it includes much needed support and people don’t realize moments when your in bed are moments to discuss your day and plan the next not press your phone

I need to make my own contribution because this is an intelligent topic, the OP is 100% right, I am a full family man and I have come to conclude that money sustains marriage much more than love, lets not even argue it, if you have money, you can handle things of emotion better, if you have love,it cannot solve the physical challenges that needs money, so any man planning to go into marriage, be ready to handle challenges with money and not with love, otherwise, you will not be a happy man, family needs to eat, family needs shelter, medical attention, social life etc, once children start coming, the responsibilities automatically expands, school fees has to be paid, all these needs MONEY not LOVE and let us always remember that love is an illusion and not a reality, when you get to the market,what you use to buy foodstuffs is money and not love

lilwetdick:



lets see if love and understanding will pay for food, will send your children to school, will pay for healthcare when one of your children get sick or will pay for waec and jamb fees.

true love and understanding only happen on American movies, not in real life situation... so-called love surely can conquer things on movies but doesn't conquer things when the family is in hunger in real life

Like the Nairalander you quoted, I opine that money is just one out of the problems that can plague a marriage. I'm sure you have seen many marriages of the rich crumble even before take off. Money is the least of their problems. There are underlying equally important factors like love, understanding, trust, tolerance and mutual respect.
With all the monies in the world, any marriage lacking the aforementioned is a time bomb waiting to explode.

I've been married for a few years and the house isn't sustained on ONLY money.
Well, I guess it's the Nigerian in us all, always about Money, Money and more Money.

lilwetdick:
Money is very important in marriage whether you like it or not and if you like call each other gold diggers, the lack of money will be the downfall of your marriage, also sex and differences in ideas in child training can also destroy a marriage but the lack of money is the greatest of all, you don't have to be a billionaire or a millionaire to be in marriage but you need to have enough money to take care of your wife and kids when you eventually have one. let's be realistic, a family is not only a social and emotional unit but also an economic unit that needs cash to survive and sustain, the lack of it will definitely destroy this unit. no wonder, we see a lot of men and young boys run away from their wives and girlfriends when they get them pregnant, it is not because they are not ready but because of lack of job and cash to take up the responsiblity.

pls let's be real with ourselves, I love you can not only sustain a marriage, at first it will be nice but when reality struck in, that sweet love will turn to sweet hate and disrespect even from your children. this is not about gold digging but about the reality of life, if you like, continue deceiving yourselves with unrealistic stuff about women and some red pill or blue pill nonsense, it is fun reading those stuff when you are young, Hot, bored and unmarried, but then when you want to get married, money and the ability to work will be a determinate factor for her to know if you can take care of yourself, her and future kids.,

who is gonna pay the kid school fees, who is gonna buy diapers and do many things that requires cash, pls if you are not ready for marriage, don't do it, forget love, love will surely die, if you are not ready for taking this solid responsibility as a man, pls don't do it, masculinity is a hard job, masculinity is constantly working and taking responsibilities and the lack of job and the inability to work to take care of the family can kill and destroy a man self-esteem.

The stupid women or wives too should go and work, and add financial value to the home! Nonsense!!

ImaIma1:


They don't crash because of money. They crash because they were not able to manage the financial difficulty at that time.

Or do you think all the marriages that are still going strong never went through money problems? Why didn't they break up? They looked for a way around it and out of it. Afterall, their vows said "for better for worse".

The ones that broke up at the sight of money issues had nothing holding them together except money.

God bless you. Maybe lack of money killed OP in his first life
We, the women on this thread, are saying it's not by money alone and OP is trying so hard, I bet too hard, to shove it down our throats that it's about Money, Money, Money! Yes, school fees will be paid, house rent, health insurance, emergency bills and the rest of them. Which book of the law is it written that men should pay for all of these? If a lady works, which she should anyway, she should help the husband out at times even if it means paying back. Just like there's no law that says only women should mop, scrub, clean and cook! My husband helps me in the kitchen and it doesn't remove anything from him as the head of the family!
Infact if you ask me, mutual understanding surpasses all these your money doctrine OP

These days, more ladies are independent, they have their careers and gradually are building financial stability around them. Some even earn more than the men. Now, if any such woman marries and she has true love for her man and understanding, can money be an impediment to a lasting home?

OP, there are many of us, women, we're from humble backgrounds, as in our papa no be Dangote, and we're not money crazed. Thank you.

lilwetdick:


At the bolded shows the importance of money in a marriage. it is easy for a marriage to work in a loveless marriage with cash than in loveless marriage without cash.

marriages are going to money problems but many of them are staying because of the children and our negative view of divorce, check that marriage and see the frictions, the lack of communication, the nagging, the lack of sex and many other problems we do not see.

Money holds a marriage strong, infact money makes love sweeter.

It's important but not the most important. Married people are telling you that it is not the foundation of a marriage but you are stubbornly pushing your money sermon.

You as a single person, do you know more than the married ones that have the experience and have been in and out of money problems? No. But you are so sure that money breaks marriages.

Lack of money doesn't break marriages but the inability to manage the crisis arising from money problems.

Or do you think that when there are money problems, a marriage breaks up and then when the issues are resolved and money is in abundance, they come back together? And they keep breaking and coming back?

the op is right, only reason marriages survives or dies is because money is involve take away the money aspect and see how the wife will change and start nagging . useless women , they are not but burden to men ,

Jessicha:
Money has its place, but the Op logic falls when we realize that many rich celebs and people Also divorce . which shows money isnt everything.

The problem nowdays is most guys have no value except their money, remove his money and he is totally useless, But a man should be able to have a personality with value in addition to his money, so when he goes broke, the wife still remember there are some qualities he has which she may not found in other men, and so she will endure the moment , of course there are couples who stick to each other despite financial challenges. Value matters

So your own view of men is money. God will touch your soul.

placeofallure:


Like the Nairaland you quoted, I opine that money is just one out of the problems that can plague a marriage. I'm sure you have seen many marriages of the rich crumble even before take off. Money is the least of their problems. There are underlying equally important factors like love, understanding, trust, tolerance and mutual respect.
With all the monies in the world, any marriage lacking the aforementioned is a time bomb waiting to explode.

I've been married for a few years and the house isn't sustained on ONLY money.
Well, I guess it's the Nigerian in us all, always about Money, Money and more Money.

"Well, I guess it's the Nigerian in us all, always about Money, Money and more Money"

It is the devil in some people.