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A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love - Romance - Nairaland

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A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Natlanky24: 7:05pm On Apr 26, 2019
Let me start by saying I messed up trying to please my wife.
I met her as my girlfriend seven years ago. We fell in love, got pregnant and had a son for me. Before she gave birth to our son I went for an introduction in her father's house hoping to proceed immediately with the traditional marriage. She suggested we do a proper wedding instead of just paying bride price, I agreed just to be in the same page with her. After a while she started acting frustrated as she couldn't find a job. I tried looking for a bar that she can operate but we couldn't find any. She continued nagging and gave a suggestion of going for a business in Nigeria which I reluctantly agreed on as I couldn't sleep anymore due to her nagging attitude. She sometimes will try to stop me from not going to work as she would prefer I stay at home with the child while she works.
After 3 years of staying in Nigeria, she no longer wants to come to the UK anymore as she is no longer in love with me. I'm not too bordered about her decision but the life of my son. I don't want my son to grow without me. He has every attribute of my late father, he is intelligent and a cute lad.
I know she must have been sleeping with someone over there. I feel she is full of guilt but doesn't want to admit she cheated. She swore with her life that she is not cheating but I don't believe a lady will fall out of love without having someone else.
Last week when we met in Germany, I knelt and begged her at her mum's house in front of my son who jumped in joy seeing me kneeling for her mum. She asked me to get up that she has forgiven me even though I can't remember what I did wrong. My son jumped up, screaming dad and mum have are now friends again. After all those drama, I took her out, we talked, drank a bottle of red wine and eventually had a picture while she was sitting on my lap. All through our discussion she was cold. She said she wants to make money and run her business in Nigeria. She even said she is not sure she can live in Europe anymore. She has suggested me coming to Nigeria to see her and my son. She also said she is not ready to have another child untill 2021 even though our son will be six soon.
Could it be that she is been controlled by sex, love for money, love for Lagos, independent life or her new single mom friends? Or in brief confused?
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Nobody: 7:09pm On Apr 26, 2019
She sometimes will try to stop me from not going to work as she would prefer I stay at home with the child while she works.
After 3 years of staying in Nigeria, she no longer wants to come to the UK anymore as she is no longer in love with me.


She also said she is not ready to have another child until 2021



Omo see brother...(brother)

See brother (brother)...

Brother wey mumu (brother)...
Brother wey no wise (brother)

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by SageMK: 7:11pm On Apr 26, 2019
So —

After 3 years of staying in Nigeria, she no longer wants to come to the UK anymore as she is no longer in love with me.

1. You know your wife is not in love with you.

I know she must have been sleeping with someone over there. I feel she is full of guilt but doesn't want to admit she cheated.

2. You know someone is banging her but that doesn't bother you in fact you want to force a life with her again?

Please massage your scrotum and check for your balls!
I can't believe this sad

Foòlishness is contagious.
For your son's sake please move on.

6 Likes

Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Natlanky24: 7:11pm On Apr 26, 2019
Wetin you mean?
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Nobody: 7:16pm On Apr 26, 2019
Natlanky24:
Wetin you mean?
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Nobody: 7:18pm On Apr 26, 2019
This is one of those women one shouldn't jam...

U will never figure her out.....Women like that are solo artiste with not much of a feeling for you, oga...its time to go and get your collabo elsewhere.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by collinsfhk(m): 7:21pm On Apr 26, 2019
AntiBrutus:




Omo see brother...(brother)

See brother (brother)...

Brother wey mumu (brother)...
Brother wey no wise (brother)


U no well
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by MrBrownJay1(m): 7:22pm On Apr 26, 2019
before we start giving you advices, what do you do abroad? Do you have the means (emotionally, physically, financially) to properly raise this young child on your own?... because it's obvious that you and this woman is OVER. So what exactly do you want? and how are you planning to achieve it? What's your damn plan for this child?!

3 Likes

Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by collinsfhk(m): 7:26pm On Apr 26, 2019
I think she is taking your calmness for granted. Man up and tell her how you want things done (in fairness though). Give her condition, if she is ready for marriage, she will respond positive. If u continue to beg, she will continue her I do care. I wish we all understand what marriage implies
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Natlanky24: 7:31pm On Apr 26, 2019
We were living in Germany before she moved to Nigeria for the so called business I paid for. Our son is currently with her mum in Germany. Before this story of "I don't love you anymore", she was supposed to move down here(UK) this August with the son. All plan has been made to accommodate her arrival, yet she chose to cause all these wahala. I can't seems to figure out what she wants. I want to dissolve our union but she refused to let me do it. Her said I shouldn't be saying that to her if I want her back. She keep saying provocative things like "things don spoil", "e don too late, etc".
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Nobody: 7:34pm On Apr 26, 2019
collinsfhk:



U no well

OP is with a woman who wanted MARRIAGE more than she wants him.

Except there is something he isn't telling.

4 Likes

Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by clintonsparkz(m): 7:40pm On Apr 26, 2019
Natlanky24:
We were living in Germany before she moved to Nigeria for the so called business I paid for. Our son is currently with her mum in Germany. Before this story of "I don't love you anymore", she was supposed to move down here(UK) this August with the son. All plan has been made to accommodate her arrival, yet she chose to cause all these wahala. I can't seems to figure out what she wants. I want to dissolve our union but she refused to let me do it. Her said I shouldn't be saying that to her if I want her back. She keep saying provocative things like "things don spoil", "e don too late, etc".
But were you cheating on her? or did she find out something? a woman can't just fall out of love like that, there is something u are not saying, wish we can hear her side of the story.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Natlanky24: 7:40pm On Apr 26, 2019
I'm a senior software engineer. I blocked her the last time and she started writing all jagons about How she love me but just acting in order for me to be a good husband. She concluded by saying don't abandon us, that is, she and my son. She is seriously blackmailing me with my son. I can't say my son was a mistake yet I don't want him to grow with her mum who doesn't even care about education. His Granny is not even educated.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by elderly: 7:43pm On Apr 26, 2019
There are a lot of missing pieces in your story
Your wife couldn't get a job in Germany or UK ?
After frustration getting a Job, your wife is no longer interested in trying.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Natlanky24: 7:45pm On Apr 26, 2019
clintonsparkz:
But were you cheating on her? or did she find out something? a woman can't just fall out of love like that, there is something u are not saying, wish we can hear her side of the story.
Not cheating on her but only ask her to either change to be a proper wife which includes been in good terms with my mum by just calling to say hello or live her life. Which we later spoke about amicably. Now she is back and acting weird.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by clintonsparkz(m): 7:50pm On Apr 26, 2019
Natlanky24:

Not cheating on her but only ask her to either change to be a proper wife which includes been in good terms with my mum by just calling to say hello or live her life. Which we later spoke about amicably. Now she is back and acting weird.
3 years without her and you've not cheated? I don't believe that though, well in this matter something is missing? you can't say u knelt down and begged for doing nothing, she is wrong to act this way, but I feel u too triggered something.

1 Like

Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Natlanky24: 7:51pm On Apr 26, 2019
elderly:
There are a lot of missing pieces in your story
Your wife couldn't get a job in Germany or UK ?
After frustration getting a Job, your wife is no longer interested in trying.
please read the story again. She insisted on going to Nigeria after several attempts of not getting a job in the area we were living in Germany. She came up with that idea of Nigeria because her unmarried elder sister did same and succeeded.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Natlanky24: 7:53pm On Apr 26, 2019
clintonsparkz:
3 years without her and you've not cheated? I don't believe that though, well in this matter something is missing? you can't say u knelt down and begged for doing nothing, she is wrong to act this way, but I feel u too triggered something.
The most she has spent in Nigeria is 4 months.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Natlanky24: 7:54pm On Apr 26, 2019
clintonsparkz:
3 years without her and you've not cheated? I don't believe that though, well in this matter something is missing? you can't say u knelt down and begged for doing nothing, she is wrong to act this way, but I feel u too triggered something.
She hasn't spent more than 4 months in Nigeria for each trip.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by anthonyuncle(m): 11:17pm On Apr 26, 2019
ur woman is so full of herself. she don't see u as someone that deserves her respect & love.
sorry bro,
but it's time u move on
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Nobody: 11:56pm On Apr 26, 2019
Her staying in far away Nigeria for three years without you and her words like "things don spoil," e don too late" simply means you should move on because she has already given her heart away to someone else. Your wife isn't just cheating, she's in a serious relationship with another man.

You will end up hurting yourself more if you keep fighting for a woman's heart that is already lost so here's the deal. Succeed in bringing her back home and be ready to accommodate a co-husband because there's a man already dear to her heart or let her be and make plans to get your son back. Your choice bro.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by ayomilore: 3:22am On Apr 27, 2019
Bro. Just look for way to take custody of your son and move on with your life.

She has someone that she's in love with in Nigeria, how can you as a wife leave your husband and relocate to another country.

Just cut her off and move on with your life. It's so glaring she doesn't love you.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by mankettle(m): 5:38am On Apr 27, 2019
@ op
you gave her capital for a business in Nigeria that means she can cater for both herself and the kid.
if u want to be close to your kid I will advise u seek custody from where u are right now so they can order the following.
1. access and days of visitation.
2. holidays etc.
3. child welfare bills etc which are reasonable.
4. medicals.
as for the marriage get a lawyer in Nigeria to Divorce her since you have lived apart for 3 years.
I am sorry bro but I wish u better luck in marriage next time.
I am not saying she cheated and neither am I blaming you guys but 3 years apart is enough to kill any love both of you had for each other. just focus on the kid
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Westsida: 6:30am On Apr 27, 2019
AntiBrutus:




Omo see brother...(brother)

See brother (brother)...

Brother wey mumu (brother)...
Brother wey no wise (brother)


You’re very dumb

1 Like

Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Westsida: 6:32am On Apr 27, 2019
.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Kobicove(m): 6:40am On Apr 27, 2019
There are ladies everywhere and you're here giving yourself headache over a relationship that's already dead undecided
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by PrimadonnaO(f): 6:42am On Apr 27, 2019
AntiBrutus:




Omo see brother...(brother)

See brother (brother)...

Brother wey mumu (brother)...
Brother wey no wise (brother)

Lmao. I tell you! The story is so shocking!
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by PrimadonnaO(f): 6:45am On Apr 27, 2019
Natlanky24:
I'm a senior software engineer. I blocked her the last time and she started writing all jagons about How she love me but just acting in order for me to be a good husband. She concluded by saying don't abandon us, that is, she and my son. She is seriously blackmailing me with my son. I can't say my son was a mistake yet I don't want him to grow with her mum who doesn't even care about education. His Granny is not even educated.

That the grandma isn't educated doesn't make her useless.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by placeofallure(f): 7:27am On Apr 27, 2019
Natlanky24:
We were living in Germany before she moved to Nigeria for the so called business I paid for. Our son is currently with her mum in Germany. Before this story of "I don't love you anymore", she was supposed to move down here(UK) this August with the son. All plan has been made to accommodate her arrival, yet she chose to cause all these wahala. I can't seems to figure out what she wants. I want to dissolve our union but she refused to let me do it. Her said I shouldn't be saying that to her if I want her back. She keep saying provocative things like "things don spoil", "e don too late, etc".

Hmmmmn, I've read your story again and again.
Now, many women I know never want to spend a day away from their beloved- husband, children, parents, siblings etc. Your wife wanting so desperately a life away from you is kinda suspicious. We're not usually like this. We are attention cravers.

Also, you as the man involved may not see that this is abnormal. We seem to always make excuse for our loved ones. A part of you will hope things are different or that things will get better. For some reasons, they are not as we wished they'd be. Her telling you stuff like "it's too late" means there's nothing to salvage. Trust me.

She may see it as a dent on her ego if it's known that you divorced her. It's that scandal she's trying to prevent hence her reluctance to let you go and the emotional blackmail of "Don't abandon us" she wants to eat her cake and still have it.

Even though things are tilting towards that direction, nobody knows for sure if she'd been sleeping around. I can't be forthright with that. As I be woman Bros, most likely there's a prick reformatting her brain and the thing go dey very strong! However, this doesn't mean you're inadequate in anyway. You may even be better than the supposed lover by far, these shit just happen.

In the midst of all these brouhaha, what you'll do is entirely up to you. Your call 100%! No Nairalander will be with you when the cookies crumble. If you were my brother, I'd tell you to move on. Marriage isn't supposed to be as complicated. I don't have any legal know how to determine the possibility of getting the custody of your baby as you hinted she can't be trusted to raise her to standard.

It is women like your wife that give us a bad name. I wish you good luck as you decide. You'll need plenty of it.

3 Likes

Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by ranmoor: 7:53am On Apr 27, 2019
My brother, you are not married to her in the first place, you only did introduction. No legal back up, no payment of bride price nothing... from the on set she has been manipulating you, that was the reason she dodge the wedding part and because she had your baby doesn't mean you are married to her... Her plan is to get the biz capital from you and to continue milking you via the child, unfortunately mission 1 has been accomplished and mission 2 will also be accomplished...
My advice, (1) Look for another lady, u are single (2) do not be interested in any communication except regards your son, though she will use him to blackmail and manipulate you (3) sue her for child custody in Nigeria (you have better chance) if u know u have the time n resources to take care of the child.
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Samshumy: 8:19am On Apr 27, 2019
The issue with you is that you’re too emotional. What’s your business if your son grows with you or not so far the mother is there. Leave the son with his mother and find another sexy babe. When the son grows, he would always come around. Forget all of them and move on. You’re a man and you’re this emotional like a woman
Re: A Wife With A Son Is No Longer In Love by Olamsoh: 8:32am On Apr 27, 2019
Westsida:
.
please drop your mail I have

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