I was in your shoe's too, we had to go separate way it's not easy. I would have continued if I was financially capable but don't have such money. My dear if you are financially OK you make like 3 to 5m annually you can go ahead with the marriage. You do ivf give birth to twin and enjoy you sweet marriage but if you not capable please quit because the marriage will be doom.

ornicus:


https://lists.ng/5-ways-for-as-as-couples-to-get-married-and-still-break-the-sickle-cell-cycle/

interestingly, this is a naija blog. to put it simply, you better have paper and patience




if my memory serves me right, my sis close friend broke with her bf because of this. they are however married today in UK. she is a doctor, he is a lawyer so i guess they were able to take one of the options listed

like i said, you better have paper

Love is blind but na inside marriage eye dey clear.

Ogbeni leave that one. Separation is the best

Ishilove:

Love is blind but na inside marriage eye dey clear.

Ogbeni leave that one. Separation is the best

Wetin? Once you have enough money, you can bypass that issue. The lady in question has at least one child, and the child is not SS.

funmisticqueen:
I will be blunt with you as a professional and give you the available options for this problem. GRAB A SEAT AND SIP TEA WITH YOUR FIANCEE, because this is going to be a long post.



if you want to marry because you are in love, not having kids and adopting instead is an option, Or you could decide not to marry at all, another option


if you do decide to have children, there is a 1 in 4 chance PER CHILD that he/she may be sickle cell. That means if you decide to have 4 children, all of them can be SS.(True story)

genotype test cost 1k

to find out if the genotype of the child in the womb is AS/AA/SS through amniocentensis or chronic villus sampling will cost nothing less than 500k, if the child is confirmed you may have to abort it and try again. Now that is another kettle of fish altogether

if you do decide to give birth to an SS child, there is a cure for sickle cell, it is called bone marrow transplant, and it costs minimum of 25 million naira and can be an excruciating process.

THIS IS ASSUMING YOU CAN AFFORD ALL THIS PER CHILD.

let's assume you are not able to afford all this like the average Nigerian couple. how much can you afford to take the child to hospital for every crisis and subsequent clinic visits, your child will be walking on eggshells, in lifelong pain, getting addicted to painkillers like penta and tramadol, parents will also be affected, skipped days from work, possible unemployment, or business will suffer, so will their marriage because love will fly out the window, your work and productivity will suffer, so will your life expectancy. Be prepared that there is a 50-80% chance that the child would not live to see his/her sixth birthday

Now assuming the child is resilient and somehow manages to live through adulthood, and wants to marry, which spouse would want to inherit that kinda problem? Now what if a sickle cell woman becomes pregnant, that is an obstetrician's worse nightmare, because they won't listen when they are told to only give birth to 2 children. putting her family through stress.

By the time they are in their fifties, they look way older, like my haematogy professor who was so bent at 70 that i thought he was 90. Or the 55 year old woman who died three days ago in my workplace from multiple organ failure and other complications in addition to normal adulthood problems, she also looked like she was 90.

NOW ARE YOU READY TO GO DOWN THIS ROAD?


THINK VERY WELL,2 , 5, 10, 20, 50 years down the line.

Thank you bruh. I picked a thing or two from this.. i really appreciate

Lightening:


Your pastor and his wife kill SS foetuses she conceives while retaining AS ones.

yea I know that will be the case!, may God forgive them

desertboom:
My friend is also in the same predicament. He's confuse and does not know what next to do.

I've told him the consequences

Surprisingly, he called me today to say the wedding must go on.

I believe he doesn't have the balls to call off the wedding. I just hope he knows what he's doing

There are options, medical ones...
They should get a good gynaecologist and be ready to pay serious money. Basically,the procedures involves testing the foetus DNA,if its SS,there follows spontaneously controlled abortion,so no SS child is born.The couple's next pregnancy is also tested/aborted if it's SS again. Eventually,a foetus with AS genotype will come along(first till fourth pregnancy if ur lucky),then she can give birth. But the DNA testing and OB/GYN bills can be testy,so a lot of money is involved.
So,If OP has money and is hellbent on the wedding happening,then,its possible. The easy way though is to ditch the wedding plans if he thinks it won't work...

Same advice goes for your own friend!

luminouz:


There are options, medical ones...
They should get a good gynaecologist and be ready to pay serious money. Basically,the procedures involves testing the foetus DNA,if its SS,there follows spontaneously controlled abortion,so no SS child is born.The couple's next pregnancy is also tested/aborted if it's SS again. Eventually,a foetus with AS genotype will come along(first till fourth pregnancy if ur lucky),then she can give birth. But the DNA testing and OB/GYN bills can be testy,so a lot of money is involved.
So,If OP has money and is hellbent on the wedding happening,then,its possible. The easy way though is to ditch the wedding plans if he thinks it won't work...

Same advice goes for your own friend!

Many thanks

So after this advice here you still went ahead and continued fucking without condom?
Boss, you don enter one chance oo

U guys better have alot of money to carry out the process involved to have a baby without SS.. if not don't even consider getting married cos the chances of u giving birth to SS is 60%

luminouz:


There are options, medical ones...
They should get a good gynaecologist and be ready to pay serious money. Basically,the procedures involves testing the foetus DNA,if its SS,there follows spontaneously controlled abortion,so no SS child is born.The couple's next pregnancy is also tested/aborted if it's SS again. Eventually,a foetus with AS genotype will come along(first till fourth pregnancy if ur lucky),then she can give birth. But the DNA testing and OB/GYN bills can be testy,so a lot of money is involved.
So,If OP has money and is hellbent on the wedding happening,then,its possible. The easy way though is to ditch the wedding plans if he thinks it won't work...

Same advice goes for your own friend!

It cost about 300k

Funkyswagzz:


It cost about 300k

So?
They need the option

luminouz:

So?
They need the option

Yah left for me I can't take such risk.. if I happen to give birth to two kids and non is ss then am ok

Please go your separate ways. Don't bring innocent children into the world to suffer. I don't what else can be said. Have you ever seen a child in crisis? I know an elderly couple, they ended up having 8 kids, only 3 are alive. The worst part, they died in their teens, not even as little children.

He who has ears, let him hear.