am a Corper of 22yrs old, serving from my family house. I Neva wanted it that way but unfortunately I was posted to same state I live, believe me I didn't work it out. twas wen I got posted to the state that I worked it out to be coming from home. now am regretting not redeploying to another state, coz I avnt been comfortable @ home. my mum wants me to be giving out 80% of my allawee to her for home expenses, I objected coz initially I give out some, but she wasn't satisfied with it and it brought problems between us. I am small in stature and thin, its sth she doesn't like and she uses that to abuse me @ the slightest misunderstanding. recently I was pounding in the kitchen and she started calling me names, belittling my stature and my person, all because I told her I was tired of pounding. I was replying her that I love myself the way I am, I am beautiful and smart. I don't av to be tall, to be confident, she got annoyed and start hitting me, the third time she wanted to hit me, I held her and overpowered her b4 my bro came in and blocked her from me. now the only wrong I know I did was to tell her I was tired of cooking, while the both of us were cooking, also to defend my personality and stop her from hitting me. this is the first time she is hitting me as an adult and the first time I ever replied her ridicules yet I feel so guilty and bad, I wish I can leave this house right now. wah do u think?

Add some weight, she won't bother u again

I feel your pain and understand you. She has her reasons for doing that though body shaming is wrong. You can always redeploy 3 months after nysc camp to another state which is free of charge and if it's more than 3 months already, just endure and try to get a job in another state immediately after NYSC. With time, Al these will be stories. Much love

Check your email

oloriT:
I feel your pain and understand you. She has her reasons for doing that though body shaming is wrong. You can always redeploy 3 months after nysc camp to another state which is free of charge and if it's more than 3 months already, just endure and try to get a job in another state immediately after NYSC. With time, Al these will be stories. Much love

awwn, you are so encouraging and sweet. thanks alot

queenice7:


awwn, you are so encouraging and sweet. thanks alot

Follow that advice and be scarce too but keep in touch once once

Your mum has not realized that you have grown. She still sees you as a child whom she can manipulate and beat up. There is nothing wrong doing NYSC/working from home. But now that she is belittling you and asking for more money, it's not healthy to continue living there. The earlier you start saving money for accommodation, the better. Continue with your service, save some cash so that after service, hopefully you can get a job, and leave home. You should only leave home and rent a place when you have secured a job.

queenice7:
am a Corper of 22yrs old, serving from my family house. I Neva wanted it that way but unfortunately I was posted to same state I live, believe me I didn't work it out. twas wen I got posted to the state that I worked it out to be coming from home. now am regretting not redeploying to another state, coz I avnt been comfortable @ home. my mum wants me to be giving out 80% of my allawee to her for home expenses, I objected coz initially I give out some, but she wasn't satisfied with it and it brought problems between us. I am small in stature and thin, its sth she doesn't like and she uses that to abuse me @ the slightest misunderstanding. recently I was pounding in the kitchen and she started calling me names, belittling my stature and my person, all because I told her I was tired of pounding. I was replying her that I love myself the way I am, I am beautiful and smart. I don't av to be tall, to be confident, she got annoyed and start hitting me, the third time she wanted to hit me, I held her and overpowered her b4 my bro came in and blocked her from me. now the only wrong I know I did was to tell her I was tired of cooking, while the both of us were cooking, also to defend my personality and stop her from hitting me. this is the first time she is hitting me as an adult and the first time I ever replied her ridicules yet I feel so guilty and bad, I wish I can leave this house right now. wah do u think?

this is what you get when you come from a needy family, a family where parents have entitlement mentality, where they would suffocate thier children with financial responsibilities. Parents like this will blackmail you with bad words, they will compare you with other successful children. This is what push some young girls into marriage desperately, and they end up with men who maltreat them. And this are things I also watch out for in a lady's family before I consider her for marriage, parents like your mum will also display this entitlement mentality to any man that marries any of her daughter.

Op, you were silent about your father, what's his say concerning the issue You need to develop a thick skin in that house. You also need to make urself scarce. Engage yourself in productive things that would occupy your time. If your ppa is a place that gives u time, I'll recommend you start learning a skill while u are doing ur NYSC, learning a skill now is the surest way to ensure you start earning money as soon as you finish your youth service.

queenice7:
am a Corper of 22yrs old, serving from my family house. I Neva wanted it that way but unfortunately I was posted to same state I live, believe me I didn't work it out. twas wen I got posted to the state that I worked it out to be coming from home. now am regretting not redeploying to another state, coz I avnt been comfortable @ home. my mum wants me to be giving out 80% of my allawee to her for home expenses, I objected coz initially I give out some, but she wasn't satisfied with it and it brought problems between us. I am small in stature and thin, its sth she doesn't like and she uses that to abuse me @ the slightest misunderstanding. recently I was pounding in the kitchen and she started calling me names, belittling my stature and my person, all because I told her I was tired of pounding. I was replying her that I love myself the way I am, I am beautiful and smart. I don't av to be tall, to be confident, she got annoyed and start hitting me, the third time she wanted to hit me, I held her and overpowered her b4 my bro came in and blocked her from me. now the only wrong I know I did was to tell her I was tired of cooking, while the both of us were cooking, also to defend my personality and stop her from hitting me. this is the first time she is hitting me as an adult and the first time I ever replied her ridicules yet I feel so guilty and bad, I wish I can leave this house right now. wah do u think?

Don't let modernization fool you what you did was very wrong but a lot of worldly people have done or seen worse. So many of them will not tell you this or understand your concience.

A mother or father is the only one in all the world with full licence to hit you or chasten you all your life. Some just chose not to do so. What you should have done was walk off fast or run away. At least you did not strike her. Wait till you have your own kids you will understand.

This is one reason why you should not be living in your family house as an adult. Familiarty breeds disrespect. More importantly, you will still be seen as a child.

Another thing you must never forget is that woman is your mother. For all her blah blah blah.... she loves you.

Be sure to give her exactly what she wants even once before you leave that house, her word is blessing to you before your God. But you should leave that house and soon.


Cheers

Sorry for what exactly Save up and move out

Corper weeeee oo

I am of the opinion that you should not leave home yet except you can sustain yourself independently after service year.

I would also advise you learn a skill, save up (open an investment account) and be independent. *I wish I took my own advise years ago during service year*

As for Mum, i understand how you feel as I am also lanky in stature but have good mouth(you body-shame me; I reply you immediately with hotter words). So can you tell her that no money as you are doing ajo and you are the last to pick (though you must be dropping something for her upkeep o; if not na war )

Let's do this ....
Alawee /2-- half for investment
Take out running cost from the other half
Drop the rest to mum after considering your religious sacrificial giving.

Before we shout, I sustained myself on alawee alone during service year though I went to my aunt for small foodstuff once a month.

queenice7:
am a Corper of 22yrs old, serving from my family house. I Neva wanted it that way but unfortunately I was posted to same state I live, believe me I didn't work it out. twas wen I got posted to the state that I worked it out to be coming from home. now am regretting not redeploying to another state, coz I avnt been comfortable @ home. my mum wants me to be giving out 80% of my allawee to her for home expenses, I objected coz initially I give out some, but she wasn't satisfied with it and it brought problems between us. I am small in stature and thin, its sth she doesn't like and she uses that to abuse me @ the slightest misunderstanding. recently I was pounding in the kitchen and she started calling me names, belittling my stature and my person, all because I told her I was tired of pounding. I was replying her that I love myself the way I am, I am beautiful and smart. I don't av to be tall, to be confident, she got annoyed and start hitting me, the third time she wanted to hit me, I held her and overpowered her b4 my bro came in and blocked her from me. now the only wrong I know I did was to tell her I was tired of cooking, while the both of us were cooking, also to defend my personality and stop her from hitting me. this is the first time she is hitting me as an adult and the first time I ever replied her ridicules yet I feel so guilty and bad, I wish I can leave this house right now. wah do u think?

So you were cooking with your mom and told her you were tired of cooking, but had the power to overpower her when she was hitting you hmmm this is a one sided story in your favour I believe if your mom was here she will tell us a complete different story altogether

I can perceive your arrogant attitude towards your mom, you feel you are more educated and smarter than your your mom, you feel you are a big girl now too big to spend time in the kitchen cooking, I know the reason your mom always belittle you as you call it, is because as little as you are both in age and stature you feel you are above everyone in the house, cause you a graduate, young lady humble yourself before your mom, been a graduate is not the ultimate achievement in life, you still have a long way to go from there

LilMissFavvy:
Your mum has not realized that you have grown. She still sees you as a child whom she can manipulate and beat up. There is nothing wrong doing NYSC/working from home. But now that she is belittling you and asking for more money, it's not healthy to continue living there. The earlier you start saving money for accommodation, the better. Continue with your service, save some cash so that after service, hopefully you can get a job, and leave home. You should only leave home and rent a place when you have secured a job.

The young lady narrated a one sided story here, I can perceive the arrogance in her tone, towards her mom

You just free yourself from your mum ,you did the right thing what about your dad if I may ask report her to your day or any family member u know she respect a lot not friend

Having read a story yesterday on Nairaland here about how a young man committed suicide as a result of pressure and backlash from the mom,i say Kudos to op for defending herself.She didn't hit her but blocked her from further hitting.Never allow anyone,not even your parent drives you into depression,your small stature is not a disability and you inherited it from either of them.Give them what you can afford and save the rest for your self.As for those quick to condemn the op,take back your words as you were not in her shoes some of these parent are not it at all.You might have been lucky to have good parents but someone out there is depressed due to bad parenting.We took a boy from the mom few years ago due to unnecessary pressure and bad attitudes from the parents and the said boy is well groomed now topping his class in the university,the last thing he wants to hear about is his biological parents.Listen to every complain a child makes,dont condemn and draw conclusions so fast,help that person if you can,encourage them with words and the rate of suicide and menace in the society will reduce drastically.Op please endure and plan your exit from that house as soon as you can.

Forget it o, you never can tell.

Deepfeel:

The young lady narrated a one sided story here, I can perceive the arrogance in her tone, towards her mom

There is this ultimate respect you get from your parents when stay far from home... well anyway manage yourself and after Nysc you can move out.

Duchessree:
There is this ultimate respect you get from your parents when stay far from home ... well anyway manager yourself and after Nysc you can move out.

so True

whats ur fav beer ?
Barman give her 2

some Parent are the one pushing their children to do illegal stuffs like Yahoo and Prostitute cos of Money

nuelyoyo:
this is what you get when you come from a needy family, a family where parents have entitlement mentality, where they would suffocate thier children with financial responsibilities. Parents like this will blackmail you with bad words, they will compare you with other successful children. This is what push some young girls into marriage desperately, and they end up with men who maltreat them. And this are things I also watch out for in a lady's family before I consider her for marriage, parents like your mum will also display this entitlement mentality to any man that marries any of her daughter.

Op, you were silent about your father, what's his say concerning the issue You need to develop a thick skin in that house. You also need to make urself scarce. Engage yourself in productive things that would occupy your time. If your ppa is a place that gives u time, I'll recommend you start learning a skill while u are doing ur NYSC, learning a skill now is the surest way to ensure you start earning money as soon as you finish your youth service.

My brother, if only you understand what it takes some parents to raise children and send them to school. I really, really thank God that I didn't have to labour financially to provide for my children and by the grace of God, I am praying that I won't have to depend on them in my old age. However, having raised a few kids myself, I can no longer call it entitlement mentality. Yes it is the parents responsibility to send their kids to school but if any parent had to go through extra hard conditions to send kids to school,, I will never be the one to think of them as having entitlement mentality if they are expecting returns on that investment.

Sorry, I digressed.

No matter what, never You fight your parents.

I understand how You feel, like to settle with her.
Apologise to her, try to Let her understand u need to deal with your own needs too.

Am proud of u, at least You realized your mistake and also know been petite is also a Blessing and Beauty.

queenice7:
am a Corper of 22yrs old, serving from my family house. I Neva wanted it that way but unfortunately I was posted to same state I live, believe me I didn't work it out. twas wen I got posted to the state that I worked it out to be coming from home. now am regretting not redeploying to another state, coz I avnt been comfortable @ home. my mum wants me to be giving out 80% of my allawee to her for home expenses, I objected coz initially I give out some, but she wasn't satisfied with it and it brought problems between us. I am small in stature and thin, its sth she doesn't like and she uses that to abuse me @ the slightest misunderstanding. recently I was pounding in the kitchen and she started calling me names, belittling my stature and my person, all because I told her I was tired of pounding. I was replying her that I love myself the way I am, I am beautiful and smart. I don't av to be tall, to be confident, she got annoyed and start hitting me, the third time she wanted to hit me, I held her and overpowered her b4 my bro came in and blocked her from me. now the only wrong I know I did was to tell her I was tired of cooking, while the both of us were cooking, also to defend my personality and stop her from hitting me. this is the first time she is hitting me as an adult and the first time I ever replied her ridicules yet I feel so guilty and bad, I wish I can leave this house right now. wah do u think?