CoolAmbience:



Know each other?

That's actually a concept that I can't understand.

Two mature people should be able to make individual attitudinal adjustments to make their union work.

We have seen marriages fail despite courtships that lasted over 10 years.

A friend of mine courted his wife for 15 years and they have a 13 year old son together. They only just got married two years ago, but na everyday we dey mix cement take patch the marriage....

Longevity of marriage is essentially based on dedication, sacrifices, tolerance, loyalty, forgiveness, respect, understanding, partnership and friendship...

see quote

Thank goodness for your life.

Next time, don't date/marry out of lust/infatuation.

One month sef is enough for me to bring out the bad character of a negroe just by pissing him off and asking intelligent questions to know his state of mind.

You were blind with desperation and fairy tales from that useless zee world.

At least you have your family, friends and kids. Those are priceless compared to a miserable sham marriage.

Better luck next time ( with a Caucasian I hope).

obentenyson:
from a epistle, this I'd definitely a proud woman with feministic mentality who isn't ready to sacrifice and submit herself to her husband... She should continue to search for a man that have or share same dreams with her... Jesus us coming soon. even Jesus doesn't share in a dreams n purpose. she will remain single for the rest of her life and a bad ensample to her daughters....

Jesus wey no marry didn't he fulfill his destiny? Same with Paul and mother theresa.i don't know what it is with guys that think they are soooo perfect and have all moral authority to judge another adult because she does not have a penis.

On the last day God is not interested whether you died a Mrs or not it will be what did you do with the life I gave you.

Even life itself will ask you that in your daily pursuit.meanwhile marriage ought to be a positive means to an end but what everyone is interested is is die there.just make it work even if it costs her her sanity, peace of mind or life as if she married herself.abeg I don taya

Na dis bobi carry the guy go there, nothing else

3 Months courtship : Too short
Long distance relationship: False Relationship

Quick Marriage: Disaster!!!

What were they thinking??

Ryan03:
Lol, i think you confused my post which actually is my fault. I was referring to mental abuse. Its a very bad thing

Oh...I get it now. You mean psychological abuse. That's very true. Most times too, physical abuse also brings about psychological abuse. The partner will be so scared of the spouse, their heart will pump harder whenever they see or hear the voice of their abuser.

You are right.

Biglittlelois:



I have no issues with couples getting divorced cos of irreconcilable differences, but don't come online and gloat about it expecting SM users to applaud you for it, don't come and pretend you're happy being divorced, no one is, her epistle is more like advocating that it's okay to divorce, it's sending negative signals for singles, I am single, and I want to have kids in the comfort of a home with both parents present, these traits is becoming rampant with ladies these days, it is a bad energy for the marriage institution, men dont come online to rant about being divorced(I stand to be corrected), it is not healthy, for any human, and for the kids involved.

√.

dangotesmummy:
and what is wrong in answering your papas name? The ones that left their papa name to go answer another person name wey con say them no do again nko? Did the world come to an end?

Okay I see. I actually think marriage is not for everyone, as the society makes us think. So Enjoy your been forever single (or divorced).

NO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, NO MONEY ISSUES, TWO ADULTS DECIDES TO DIVORCE AND ONE HAVE THE EFFRONTERY TO COME ON LINE AND TELL US BULLSHIT.

golddeejay:


Just reading the last part you added. You assumed that from my post. Typical!

if you don't think that you are perfect then you will understand that women have their own human frailties just as the men do but you always think that I'm so perfect that I must show off how much I know everything and who is good and who is bad

If you don't think you are perfect you will do unto others as you want them to do to you.submission and compromise is not a one way traffic for women.if she's bending for you,you too bend for her but if you always want to show I know it all,na the result be that.you will keep changing wives every year like slippers

DelilahMakinde:
U just dey advertise for new customer...is allowed.

What is she selling??

donlittle25:
see quote

Bro, their matter taya everybody na.

For two people wey don sabi each other for almost 20 years to dey quarrel and tear cloth almost every time... I nor think say na how courtship long reach be the issue. How you see am?

Amakavula:
I am always happy to when women take the bull.by the horn and make decisions like this, I only fault her for marrying too quickly but thank God she did what's best for her.

You can't understand until you have been with someone whose life goal is incompay with yours. Best life ahead sister. Resist !

Hmmmm! Amaka

MrBrownJay1:

I think that nobody goes into marriage with a negative mindset, unless they marry for the wrong reasons...money/pressure etc



Sadly, marriage goes hand in hand with divorce... and as much as nobody wishes/hopes for failure, it's counter productive and especially HIGHLY irresponsible to believe that there is no way out of marriage.



As much as some people are willing to change or overlook certain traits... others are not willing to compromise or change and there is nothing wrong with that (IMHO).many people pretend to be who they are not, in order to con people into marriage, and staying with such awful person...is a fallacy.



Do you really believe that a woman is automatically happier in a miserable union than divorced woman?! No wonder so many women are miserable and wrongly staying married to monsters.

You have such a failed outlook on divorced and single mother...it's sickening but also very very sad!!!! The only reason that these women are looked down upon is because of the deluded African society and the ego of African men.... that want tear rubber wifey while being highly used tokunbo themselves. And sadly, women like you believe in this ego driven failure.

You are 100% correct.

koyyess:
Thank goodness for your life.

Next time, don't date/marry out of lust/infatuation.

One month sef is enough for me to bring out the bad character of a negroe just by pissing him off and asking intelligent questions to know his state of mind.

You were blind with desperation and fairy tales from that useless zee world.

At least you have your family, friends and kids. Those are priceless compared to a miserable sham marriage.

Better luck next time ( with a Caucasian I hope).

Why would you want to push someone buttons by pissing him off just to know his state of mind?

Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and if your happiness is not guaranteed, just do the needful.

As for the instergram man that says that women should be humble, respectull, don't challenge your husband, what ever he says is final. You are quoting the Bible as if the Bible has no portion where it us written for a man to love his wife.

That word "love" is a word with so many meanings.

You can't be wearing designers dress, glasses and bag with a bathroom slippers, it won't work.

Before you expect a woman to give you heavenly peace, be the heaven she will dewel in

Amakavula:
I am always happy to when women take the bull.by the horn and make decisions like this, I only fault her for marrying too quickly but thank God she did what's best for her.

You can't understand until you have been with someone whose life goal is incompay with yours. Best life ahead sister. Resist !

Clap for yourself

THE UNION PRODUCED DAUGHTERS WITHIN 3 MONTHS! WHAT?

golddeejay:
Okay I see. I actually think marriage is not for everyone, as the society makes us think. So Enjoy your been forever single (or divorced).

now you're getting the point.if it works for you,fine,if it doesn't work for you,ok .the question you should ask yourself as a man or woman,is this marriage advancing my life,is it taking me to where I should be,is it pushing me higher or dragging me down,is it making my life better or more miserable? At the end of the day we have only one life,why will you now stay miserable for the best part of your life?

Biglittlelois:
Are we suppose to clap for her cos she's now a single mother or we should be happy that two adults couldn't compromise on important issues that'll make their marriage work for the best? No one should come online to rant on being happy regardless of a failed marriage, it is not an achievement.

Thank you for your wonderful comments! Can't you see what our generation has been reduced to. See what someone comes to celebrate in public for God's sake. I weep for my generation, it was not as bad as this many years ago! My parents compromised many times for things to work so especially because of the emotional exposure they didn't want to subject us to from a failed marriage in the future. They were sacrificial and selfless and shifted grounds to make it work. I still see my old parents sometimes argue, but you know what, they love themselves so much that you would imagine how they have been together for that long. Here we have a stubborn, proud and I-too-read generation who cannot submit to anyone.

My parents left a good example for me, I can't be lesser than that or else, I have failed.

dangotesmummy:
Jesus wey no marry didn't he fulfill his destiny? Same with Paul and mother theresa.i don't know what it is with guys that think they are soooo perfect and have all moral authority to judge another adult because she does not have a penis.

On the last day God is not interested whether you died a Mrs or not it will be what did you do with the life I gave you.

Even life itself will ask you that in your daily pursuit.meanwhile marriage ought to be a positive means to an end but what everyone is interested is is die there.just make it work even if it costs her her sanity, peace of mind or life as if she married herself.abeg I don taya

Jesus no marry.. him get bastard children any where? Paul was an eunuch how do u expect him to marry. that his a rare gift.. Jesus didn't come to marry. he came to save... Paul could have married but how can someone who doesn't have sexual desire marry? no point.... this woman on the other hand is not Jesus or Paul... nor mother Theresa. those ones dedicated their lives to another man (Jesus)... Look, every woman must subject herself to a man . a woman who isn't ready to stay under a man , who doesn't want her husband to be her head can never subject her self to God or Jesus.... She no think all this dream and purpose nonsense before she shook her ugly head go marry am? u met someone online u didn't know for 3 month and then when u saw each other I agree to marry him. isn't that foolishness? now she dey complain of him not sharing her dream with her.. shey na ur husband go share dream with u abi na u go share us with ur husband? your husband's dream is ur dream ones you are married... u are both one. u just have to sacrifice. but today's women are to proud to do that. how can they sacrifice their life for a man.. as if the man too doesn't have a duty to take care of u as a man.. lol.. many women in future go dey beg men to marry them. even Bible self talk am..

donlittle25:
Why would you want to push someone buttons by pissing him off just to know his state of mind?

I forgot to include 'pretentious' in my epistle.

I can only do that when I sense pretentious bull sh1t from people.

I am a very good judge of character.

MChaze25:
Clap for yourself

u self see as she mumu

Women claims to be happy after divorcing their men and they advertise single motherhood when in reality they are not happy.
Its not good at all bc the younger ones are starting to see divorce as the easy route, nobody wants to even try to sort things out (little things).

Some of us did not date at all, but we are adults and can tolerate ourselves and also do not fight over little issues.

We are still together and going stronger.

Dating for years or months do not guarantee a happy marriage.

Daree88:




Thank you for your wonderful comments! Can't you see what our generation has been reduced to. See what someone comes to celebrate in public for God's sake. I weep for my generation, it was not as bad as this many years ago! My parents compromised many times for things to work so especially because of the emotional exposure they didn't want to subject us to from a failed marriage in the future. They were sacrificial and selfless and shifted grounds to make it work. I still see my old parents sometimes argue, but you know what, they love themselves so much that you would imagine how they have been together for that long. Here we have a stubborn, proud and I-too-read generation who cannot submit to anyone.

My parents left a good example for me, I can't be lesser than that or else, I have failed.

thank u jare.

obentenyson:
Jesus no marry.. him get bastard children any where? Paul was an eunuch how do u expect him to marry. that his a rare gift.. Jesus didn't come to marry. he came to save... Paul could have married but how can someone who doesn't have sexual desire marry? no point.... this woman on the other hand is not Jesus or Paul... nor mother Theresa. those ones dedicated their lives to another man (Jesus)... Look, every woman must subject herself to a man . a woman who isn't ready to stay under a man , who doesn't want her husband to be her head can never subject her self to God or Jesus.... She no think all this dream and purpose nonsense before she shook her ugly head go marry am? u met someone online u didn't know for 3 month and then when u saw each other I agree to marry him. isn't that foolishness? now she dey complain of him not sharing her dream with her.. shey na ur husband go share dream with u abi na u go share us with ur husband? your husband's dream is ur dream ones you are married... u are both one. u just have to sacrifice. but today's women are to proud to do that. how can they sacrifice their life for a man.. as if the man too doesn't have a duty to take care of u as a man.. lol.. many women in future go dey beg men to marry them. even Bible self talk am..

even the Bible said can 2 work together unless they agree? If one bend and the second one dey form I'm the man,I can't bend,na so the man go dey change wives.ask why women are not staying long with their husbands like women of old?

Everybody dey form strong head.im the man,na me know pass.its when TWO PEOPLE not one person bends for each other we can start having peaceful marriage,till then you men can be changing wives every month for all we care.there is life outside marriage afterall

mrbrownjay1:
Foolish people desperate for marriage who are willing to marry donkeys (they got to know via long distance r/ship) and then turn around and are surprised when these donkey turn out to be DONKEYS.

You're quite reasonable. The best truth I have seen on this site this month.

she's writing out of pain only to console herself.

dangotesmummy:
even the Bible said can 2 work together unless they agree? If one bend and the second one dey form I'm the man,I can't bend,na so the man go dey change wives.ask why women are not staying long with their husbands like women of old?

Everybody dey form strong head.im the man,na me know pass.its when TWO PEOPLE not one person bends for each other we can start having peaceful marriage,till then you men can be changing wives every month for all we care.there is life outside marriage afterall

OK I hear u.. no point arguing with u. u are just another single mother without a Man over her head. have a nice day deceiving yourself.. after all u don't know what marriage is all about.. fools think marriage is a bed of roses... That's why they ass can't stay one place.. divorcing up n down like its their tradition..

CoolAmbience:



Oga, there are no set timelines for courtship anywhere in the world.

My wife and I didn't court for up to two months before getting married. We are happily chasing ten years of marriage together, and everything fresh like say na today palm wine....Lol.

Marriages fail, partly or wholly, because the parties, either singly or jointly, are not ready to put in the right amount of dedication, patience and sacrifices required to make it work.

Like i said before only God grace balance the equation.
but mek i say this 2 and 3 months is too short aba...