Logobenz3:
if you are pretty,educated and have a job,come to me.
I have money too,educated,handsome,from a good family and smart

No be Logobenz be this,nawa oo abi u no dey taya..

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

I feel your pains dearie. This is not what any woman want in a marriage. Saying it's a year marriage is so disheartening. The bitter truth is, its not going to be easy having to cope with your newborn and taking care of yourself.Your husband is one of those unruly, badly raised & uncultured man and the most painful part of this is that, it'll take miracle to change his type. The men in his class are that disgusting and pathetic. I join others to tell you that his favourite is pregnant if she doesn't have a child for him already. This is a bitter pill to swallow but there's nothing that's as important as your wellbeing and that precious gift. Please, you haven't recovered from pregnancy,labour and nurturing of baby as it takes months for this to be achieved. So bothering yourself over a spilled milk is not it. See your baby as being worth more than the world to you and surround yourself with reasonable people.

Kindly discuss everything,I mean everything with your parents cos they'll help you heal and for quick intervention. Please,if you have to leave that Heartless man,do as you have all it takes to succeed in life. The Lord will see you through dear.

Madam, if you that God answer prayer, then what are you waiting for? It is possible that the other lady might have charm him. It is very very 80% to 99% possible. Nevertheless, put your faith in God please and let God takes control now and for ever. I Chronicles 7:14, Psalms 57:1-3 . Nothing, l say nothing you can do except our God

zeb04:
You are still 26, in the prime of your life. Wait until you are 40 with 3 more mouths to feed.

One day you wake up and realize you have given the best years of your life to an arrogant,unrepentant cheat.

You better leave. You are not even dead yet and someone else is already by the door.

But you can stay, have low self esteem and kill yourself with hypertension. Your reward is in heaven.

must every lady be single mother like u?
Op, report this issue to ur parent and his parent, don't quit ur relationship oooo, many men's aren't ready to marry, ask wizkid or Davido...
God is ur strength..... Pele

frozen70:


There is nothing diabolical there, drastic moments deserve drastic decisions

you still sound diabolical.

why not just go separate ways and let Karma Judge instead.

Madam,my heart-felt sympathy.However,above emotions,i suggest you stand up for your home,family,precious baby,yourself,and your husband, who is not thinking straight at the moment.
You start by praying to retrieve your hubby.I will also join you in prayers.
Follow this by reaching out to your parents;i'm sure your parents will reach his.Evil festers and escalates in silence.The scripture cant be broken:'a man shall leave his father and his mother, and cleave unto his wife (not wives).

Kendrick80:
Pocohantas pls drop another bomb here like u did at the other thread

I no get anything to tell her. She should visit any thread on cheating wives. Whatever the men say there, that is the LOGICAL AND SENSIBLE (albeit hypocritical) thing to do.

DateMynd44:
mind your words young lady that's still her husband for God's sake? we know his actions are wrong but you're hurting the lady the more by calling her husband a filth. Damn do u Even know what that Word means?

Why take it personal though

This is so touching. Idk if you'd see my message but i had to say something as I hardly participate on this forum.
Okay, first of all, I'd advice you stay put in that house, you ain't leaving for any woman, instead your husband should leave if it's that bad. Don't be the first to quit. Be strong. Take care of the house as yours.
Secondly, find something to do, a job or better still a business. He gives you money right? Gather all that you can and invest, buy lands, start a business, invest your money and please don't depend on him. One of the reasons he fell for that Lady is because she helped him financially.
You have a baby to make you happy and please go out, meet up with your friends and family, don't be a loner, show him your happiness doesn't depend on him. Live your life girl. Take good care of yourself girl, you still have a lot to achieve. Set goals for your self.
Don't give him the impression that you're sad about his extra marital affair, act like you don't care, always keep a cheerful countenance, stop checking his phone and all, be your happy self. If you still want the marriage and a happy one at that do all these and lastly get on your knees and pray to his creator about this. Never confront him about this matter. Lobe yourself first. (I think I'm done, idk, lol)

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

tabithababy:
Sorry you hear. You should have gone against that relationship immediately you noticed it

The deed is done. Cheers

You're right. Now I understand why some girls do not want their husbands getting close to other girls. Feelings build up gradually.

May God give you the grace to bear the trauma. God is in control.

For your relationship, dating and marriage tips, visit: https://www.lovegister.com

Lotusgoddess:
This is so touching. Idk if you'd see my message but i had to say something as I hardly participate on this forum.
Okay, first of all, I'd advice you stay put in that house, you ain't leaving for any woman, instead your husband should leave if it's that bad. Don't be the first to quit. Be strong. Take care of the house as yours.
Secondly, find something to do, a job or better still a business. He gives you money right? Gather all that you can and invest, buy lands, start a business, invest your money and please don't depend on him. One of the reasons he fell for that Lady is because she helped him financially.
You have a baby to make you happy and please go out, meet up with your friends and family, don't be a loner, show him your happiness doesn't depend on him. Live your life girl. Take good care of yourself girl, you still have a lot to achieve. Set goals for your self.
Don't give him the impression that you're sad about his extra marital affair, act like you don't care, always keep a cheerful countenance, stop checking his phone and all, be your happy self. If you still want the marriage and a happy one at that do all these and lastly get on your knees and pray to his creator about this. Never confront him about this matter. Lobe yourself first. (I think I'm done, idk, lol)

You make sense babe, I like that. Almost what I have in mind. As you have rightly said , the lady was there for him maybe in terms of money or effort made but the guy bleeped up , just a year into your marriage. One thing is that, I don't always judge issues that involve two or more persons from only one perspective but If what she narrated here is the real fact then she need to put herself together. Report the case to both families first, because it's not an issue you can handle alone like both of you always do.
I do advice ladies to have something at hand(job or business) before marriage, it will earn you a kind of respect from your husband cos he won't just be doing anyhow cos he knows you can hold ur own. I must say the guy is a fool really, that's a bad decision. He could have compensate the other lady with financial gains or so. There is more to this issue as I see it. God will guide you to make good decision

.

.

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

Niceone

Asking where it is written in the Bible, 'That a man should not marry more than one wife'. This question indicates a detachment from the scripture by a professing christian who ought to know God's word and whose life should be regulated by it's wise counsel. The increase in ungodliness is the direct consequence of abandoning the scriptures for philosophical thoughts decked on life experiences, we can't win the war against the flesh and the devil that way. I hope few of the scripture verses below can restrain him from taking a leap into a spiritual chasm.

Matt 19:3-12 & Romans 7:2-3

The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

For instance, a married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she is joined to another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law and is not an adulteress, even if she marries another man.

zeb04:
You are still 26, in the prime of your life. Wait until you are 40 with 3 more mouths to feed.

One day you wake up and realize you have given the best years of your life to an arrogant,unrepentant cheat.

You better leave. You are not even dead yet and someone else is already by the door.

But you can stay, have low self esteem and kill yourself with hypertension. Your reward is in heaven.

Can you be my counsellor? How much do you charge?

vingeophysicist:

In conclusion you are a certified single mom . Good

But at least she has peace.
And the former husband is very unstable.

What most of you dudes don't understand is that it never Budds well for men who treat women like this.
They always live a very unstable life.
They cannot maintain descent relationship with women because they are very dark soul.


Married men should respect themselves
Those that go on messing there wives up will never see anything good or peaceful in there life. You must reap whatever you sow. Simple

By

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

I think the best option is to quit the marriage because you will end up hurting yourself staying in it. Besides, you could be tempted to hurt or even kill the woman or your husband. It's a tough decision though but you are still very young and can get a good man that will marry you again.

Plss don't keep this to yourself,its not what both of you can resolve. Talk to your family, get his family or anyone he respects and listens to involved. The situation can be remedied.

Psalmy2cute:

I'm so disgusted at this post of yours.. I know a cheating husband when I see one.. and I can see you're no different from her husband

U are very strange...sincerely u have a right to be disgusted by anything based on ur personality and level of tolerance but it’s the fallacy and irrationality in your statement I don’t understand...what exactly do u mean by cheating husband??...u don’t know me, I’m sure u don’t even know the premise of this comment btw I and oyindidi..u don’t even know if I’m not a man...
I must say again u are very strange....

Baselm:
Why would any sane person advise her to leave her matrimonial home, because the husband is emotionally attached to another lady?? All these NL oloshos forming feminist advice.
I will advise you to stay in your place and continue with whatever you have going on for you, channel your love to your child and get a job or face your business and continue to pray.
Focus more on your life than the prayers, it should be a side hustle.
If you must, confide in your pastor and parents to pray with you and probably counsel him.
Leave when your life is being threatened, otherwise don't leave, do the things that make you happy, he will come to his senses soon.

If you leave
1) you abandoned your home for someone else to take over. you have made them winners
2) you will deprive your child of the love of both parents.
3) as much as polygamy scares you, have you given having different baby Daddys a thought? or have you given being Single for a large part of your life a thought?

STAY FOR AS LONG AS YOU ARE SAFE AND FOCUS ON PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT, YOUR CHILD AND EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

Life is a misery l have seen someone with similar situation. We all adviced her to go back to her father's house and leave the he-goat. After 5years, she got another guy and marry her with her child. The guy is soo responsible and caring and we were just thanking God for her. They had two children together and after 8years, the man died in an accident

Life can be unfair sometimes and marriage is one of the darkest world. Just follow your heart and pray to your God. Before you jump to the ship of marriage, be vigilant

Oma307:

why are talking like this? did she say her husband is beating her? where will go to? and what is the assurance that another man is going to marry her? or you think take care of a baby is a child play perhaps she didn't say whether she is working or not. although I am not supporting the husband cheating nature

YOU ARE RAVING MAD!!!

Sorry for your pain. I believe you never bargained for a polygamous house hold, but you are into one all ready. It's still your home and you now have a junior wife. It's not easy but work towards having a happy home. The question you should ask yourself is
1. Are you ready to get married to someone else?
2. If yes, what is the certainty your new husband won't do the same?
3. Not that it's a crime, how comfortable will you be emotionally being a single mother?

I know it's not easy but make the best out of the present situation and be at peace.

You don't need to hide such from your parents. Please, tell them all. Whether you are going to stay and continue to pray for him, or you will separate from him and file for divorce is not a decision to be taken hastily. Rather weigh everything and think deeply about everything, bearing in mind that each has its own advantages and disadvantages. But if it were me, I will likely be separated from my wife, for my sanity. I didn't say divorce. Just talk to your parents first.

miss00000:
We met in school during my pre-degree and dated for 7 years before he proposed to me. Before the proposal, both our parents had been pestering us to get married and start having children.

We started trying 6months prior, and 6 months after proposing I got pregnant. Few months later we did our introduction and got married (registry) march this year.

About two years ago, he met a lady where he was supplying his goods. According to him, the lady has been doing everything in her power to push his business. Every time I suspect there was more to their friendship, he always assured me there was nothing, that she's just a friend. sometimes he would even travel with her to Abuja to sell his goods which I had to allow since it was helping his business.

8 months into my pregnancy I noticed a drastic change like coming home very late, he hardly eats at home, he barely talks to memos he's always on his phone. I knew something was wrong and every time I talk to him, he always assured me that everything was fine.

After the delivery and naming of my baby I expected things to go back to the way it was, but it became worse. he changes his phone password almost everyday and still hides his phones from me.

One day I cried and begged him to tell me what was going on, after hours of begging, the first question he asked me was "where was it written in the bible that marriage has to be between one man and one woman and not with different women", "why can't a man marry two or more wives if he has the resources to take care of them equally"(the lady is a muslim btw).

He confessed that he has been dating this lady for over two years and has no plan of leaving her, and theres a possibility he's going to marry her. I'm just 26yo with a one month old baby, I didn't sign up for this.

While growing up, my mum has always warned us against polygamy. although he's promised to be there for me and still wants our marriage to continue, but the thought of my husband being with someone else is killing me. I've tried to reason with him several times but I end up hurting even more. I've been praying but still no change. He's been trying to compensate with gifts and money but thats not what I want. he doesn't want me to tell anyone and I feel reporting him to his family will even worsen the case. We've always settled our issues ourselves without involving anyone. I've tried everything I can just to take my mind off it. I need someone to talk to, prolly a friend or a counsellor. I've been crying for days now, I've not been eating well and I have to breastfeed my child. I never knew my life would be this complicated. I don't know why he got married to me if he already had this in mind. I hate my life right now.

You don't need to hide such from your parents. Please, tell them all. Whether you are going to stay and continue to pray for him, or you will separate from him and file for divorce is not a decision to be taken hastily. Rather weigh everything and think deeply about everything, bearing in mind that each has its own advantages and disadvantages. But if it were me, I will likely be separated from my wife, for my sanity. I didn't say divorce. Just talk to your parents first.

Break the spell
Break the spell
Break the spell

People are so confused, rudderless and helpless without the Bible as a guide and foundation. God instituted marriage and has the answer to every marriage problem. If your husband could sleep with you till you got pregnant outside marriage, why are you so surprised and distraught that he can still sleep outside marriage?

Kilamiti:
I pity any married woman who doesn't have a side man by the side. These husbands ain't worth poo. Don't deceive yourselves.dont carry this stupid I am married title on your head because you will just die for nothing. A man wants to keep you at home and still cheat, fine!!! Give your self to another man and make your self happy. In fact having one outside would take your attention away from Wat the fool Is doing and he'll be the one to notice he's the one loosing you. A friend of mine did same.she would go out and suck her boyfriends dick and bring that same mouth to kiss her horseband on his lips. Y'all should stay preaching thou shall not cheat yen yen when these men keep embarrassing you outside. IF YOUR MAN NO WAN STAY ONE PLACE, YOU TOO. CHEAT ON HIM!!!!!!!

And when you friend husband kisses their pikin?

sebali:
This may be late...But I hope you see this.

The society only frowns at women who never got married. The moto is once a senator, forever a senator.
You re 26, still freah with a baby. Get a Job, become financially stable and leave the ediot. People won't be so hard on you because you were once married, so it isn't an issue of you couldn't get married, check for facts nobody mocks a once married lady they prefer to mock those who never got married.
Don't be decieved, most men cheat but oga has brought it to your face just a year into the marriage; translation, he does not respect you, he is a chauvinist. Chauvinist never change.
Marriage is not an Endurance Mission.

N.B: Right from the first page many post makes it okay for a man to cheat... It is not okay, cos marriage is a legal tender, if you can't cope at least pretend, don't rub it on her face, otherwise women should be allowed to cheat too. What is sauce for Emeka should be sauce for Amaka.

cheating in marriage is not okay for any gender
the fact that many even rationalise it is worrisome

Dear I think you should think of yourself and child first. "A dog that would suffer destruction, will never listen to the whistle of the guard". It's a pity this had to happen to you at this early stage of your union, but life must go on. Kindly move close to your family and those that truly care about you. Get a job, be happy and remember that there are people who love you.

I wish you all the best.

I am just worried that he doesn't infect you with anything with this his indiscriminate cheating.

That said, you don't need to take any nonsense he throws at you. He can boldly tell you that he's cheating means he doesn't have any regard for you. Please don't keep quiet about this. Don't die in silence.

Forget how he tries to paint it that it's not written in the Bible; what he is doing us absolutely wrong and goes against your vows to each other. He just wants to have his cake and eat it and will try to justify it.

If it were me, I would leave with my baby when next he travels and not care if he comes to look for me. I would focus on me and build a life with my child. One day his eyes will clear.

The decision to stay or leave is left to you .