I previously posted a question about whether a significant age gap can work in relationships where a woman is 10 years older than the man.

Many of you thought that that the relationship was doomed and his family would never accept me especially as my boyfriend is only son.

Well after telling my boyfriend that this relationship is unrealistic, he now wants me to meet his mother because he's convinced she'll love me just as he does and wants to prove to me that we can work things out.

Have you got any tips on what I should do and say when I meet her? For example, I know I have to bow but what do I call her? 'Mrs' or 'mum'.

I'm learning Yoruba. Should I greet her in her language to show I'm trying? Should I bring a gift? If yes, what?

I just don't want to embarass my boyfriend given that he has put so much faith in me despite all hurdles in our way.

Are you saying you are 10years older than your BF and wants to meet his mother?
How do you look physically, do you appear to be very old for him or an age mate or younger? Your appearance is the first thing you will be judged on and I tell you, you will certainly meet a brick wall if your bf's mum discovers the age gap (that is if she doesn't know) otherwise if she is aware of the age difference and still encourages her son, then you are one lucky woman.

10years is a huge gap between a man and a woman if the man is the younger.

I'm 34 and he is 24.

I do not look my age. In fact, I have to carry around ID to prove my age.

He says I look 25. The visual aspect really isn't a problem.

And his mum does not know how old I am.

I have no clue what 'don't overdo things' means.

Do I take a gift?

Morayo2906:

I'm 34 and he is 24.

I do not look my age. In fact, I have to carry around ID to prove my age.

He says I look 25. The visual aspect really isn't a problem.

And his mum does not know how old I am.

Since she doesn't know, you have a 10% chance that this will work out when she knows. Secondly, is your BF ready for marriage because he is just 24 and quite young, have you thought about him asking you to wait till he is 27 or 28, that would mean you will be clocking 37 or 38.
IMHO, quit the relationship if the visit to his mum doesn't produce the effects or reaction you expected.
Goodluck.

He want's us to settle down.

I want to meet the family to guage their reaction.

If they don't like me, I will forget about it.

^^^ Why are you dating a 24-year old boy

And why is he dating you   

No offence but if I were 24, I won't date a 34-year old guy . . . and incase you are wondering why, it's because he's too old!

Ujujoan:

^^^ Why are you dating a 24-year old boy

And why is he dating you   

No offence but if I were 24, I won't date a 34-year old guy . . . and incase you are wondering why, it's because he's too old!

You don't cease to amaze me, a 34year old man is too old for a 24 year old girl? Not in Nigeria and I mean not in Nigeria.

Remember I made specific reference to myself . . . and yes, I'm in Nigeria!

@ Poster, don't worry about the negative things some folks have posted. The main issue is that he loves you & wants U to meet his mum. The main question here is do U love him? If U do, another important question is are you willing to be submissive as a woman shld not minding the age gap? If U have the answers to these questions then U have got nothing to worry about.

my just be your self and dont overdo anything, But can a 24 year old Boy in our this nigeria wants to get married for what now?, What is he doing and how much has he got both finaicailly and independently

Probably the Yorubas can help.

Assuming she's a mum that doesn't attribute so much importance the ''bowing and kneeling and lying positions'', I'D assume a simple 'Good morning/afternoon/evening Ma' would do. Maybe as time goes on you could call her Mum, but not on the first day of meeting [It's one of the ''over do things'' Omolola was talking about].
Do not forget your smile. Be concerned about how she's doing. Talk about you, discuss simple issues with her. Pay her a compliment.
I can understand the uneasiness one feels when planning to meet prospective MIL for the first time. Good luck!

BTW, are you Nigerian? Naija Ladies usually know how to influence BM or prospective MIL's affection. We kiss a$$ die, when it comes to that aspect.  

i feel there is more to the story-
first of all i believe u a lot richer than he is, and dats probably d motivating factor, he wants comfort, u want a man to call ur own. if dats the case (98% prob), his parents wont matter in his decision making - i bet they are already in the "know" so just play along, and dnt bother your head- u just bought urself a man,

^^ She's obviously taking care of him, financially and otherwise! Why else will a 24 year old boy be talking about marriage at his age and to a woman who's 10 years older than he is!

I guess desperation has a way of clouding people's judgement!

Hmmm, well poster if ur not from 9ja dont bother abt the protocols ok. As long as the love is there

Such loves don't exist. Not in today's world and in Nigeria. Either she's lying about his financial status or she's living in a f00l's paradise. Either way she needs to thread with caution!

Interesting! Where are you from? I posted a comment a few days ago about my age gap relationship with my husband. I am from the caribbean and he is a lovely Igbo man. He is considerably younger than me and we have totally different backgrounds (although some things are quite similar). I was nervous about meeting his parents for the first time. The way I handled it was to just be myself. Where I am from, we do not bow. I have never bowed to my mother in law and don't intend to. I don't even bow to my husband. To do so would mean I am being fake. To me it is not necessary to do that to show respect. I love my Igbo family dearly and they love me too. I called her mama from our first meeting and I did buy her a gift, some chocolates and a toiletry set. I am learning Igbo but I didn't greet her with the language. I greeted her in English because that is the language I speak. Since we have been married for a while now, I do say the odd word to her in Igbo and she appreciates it and helps me with my pronouciation. My MIL does not judge me. She's a beautiful woman and the best gift I can give her is by looking after her son and grandchildren to the best of my ability. MIL's will know if you are faking it so just be yourself. Don't over do it - it will be to obvious. Keep the conversation general. Believe it or not -age gap relationships in Nigeria are not that uncommon. If it's to be it will be - no matter what the ages of the couple are.

Personally, I couldn't give a raas what people want to say about me and mine. We have lasted longer than most. However, if you look like an old hag and your boyfriend is fine -you are bound to have problems Look after your body oh!

and some of the comments on here are just mean and spiteful. If you don't like age gap relationships that's fine - don't have one but for those who are in one why can't you just accept it since it doesn't affect your life in anyway! Cha!

^^ I'm sorry but despite you story, I still have my doubts. We can only know what you tell us and you can only tell what you what you us to believe!

The fact remains that the guy is too young. If he were 34 and she was 44, the might stand a chance. She was 30 and he was only 19 when they met! That somehow doesn't sound right!

Listesn, this doesn't affect me in anyway. Yes, I can't do that but i can't stop her from doing it either. But I don't want stories at the end of the day oh!

iice:

[color=#9900ff]For reference, this is her previous thread
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=501934.msg6624599#msg6624599

hmmmm>>> if wat OP says is true, den i guess she falls in the lucky 2% group, best of luck, "love conquers all"

hahahahahhahahahaha.
Funny thread. Look poster, you better tell the boy to come out with the truth about your age. If his mum finds out? The relationship will be too hot for you. And if it so happens you guys get married and there is a hiccup in getting pregnant as soon as possible, and she gets to know your age? you will regret your life. No Nigerian mother wants their son to marry someone older, and to top it off you are not from her tribe. Kindly tell the boy to lay all the cards on the table, because Yoruba women have a special relationship with their son's. This secret will come out in future and will come back to haunt you. Just in case he has an issue with you in the future, all your secrets will be exposed. He is too young right now to really know what he wants. He still has a lot of living to do as a man. As Uju said i am sure you provide for him a lot, the moment he becomes independent and sees you as old, that is when all the cards will begin to fall down. That will be his perfect excuse for cheating, telling everyone how old you are/ that you are an old woman and he needs fresh blood. I suggest you find a man between the ages of 30-35 because right now, you are living a fantasy. If you still insist on seeing the mother, make sure you kneel slightly, or with one leg to the ground and use MA not mum. Goodluck, but the truth shall set you free.lol

Just follow your heart. There is noting that is impossible. Wish you luck.