jasmine1600:
Wise woman, it rains everywhere.
Ask Beyoncé and Cardi B, they were all cheated and they never left their home.

question is, will you be these calm when your wife fuccks another diickk??

I'm a man, but let's all be guided biko

RockHard:


I get where you are coming from but you have to realize that life is not in black and white, some mistakes do occur for different reasons. Nothing wrong in giving someone a second chance if he's sorry. Of all the good things/sides of the man, why pick on that one mistake especially if he's remorseful?

If your wife has s.ex with another man, will there be forgiveness in your heart if she is remorseful?

felaismyhero:
so if a woman cheats,and the man decides to still have her.does that make him a low self-esteem man?

of course!!!!

wizardus:
Ask for wisdom..If you loose your husband because he cheats..wet in u gain

the minute your husband decides to cheat then, i am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but....YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST HIM!!!!

MarieSucre:
This is not always the case. A lot of women are socialised to hold on shams of marriages.

very sad but true....

aminusodiq:
sense is not just far away from u... Its very far away from u

love you too...

dbestuncle:

Before u continue d rain of insults, not all men cheat o n d question is just what if and not that they already caught him cheating.

insults?! who/how/when did i insult anybody?!
BTW i never claimed that all men cheat, i only stated that all cheating men are DISRESPECTFUL/UNFAITHFUL/DISHONEST/DECEITFUL people

MrBrownJay1:


of course!!!!



the minute your husband decides to cheat then, i am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but....YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST HIM!!!!



very sad but true....



love you too...



insults?! who/how/when did i insult anybody?!
BTW i never claimed that all men cheat, i only stated that all cheating men are DISRESPECTFUL/UNFAITHFUL/DISHONEST/DECEITFUL people

i dont agree with you sir.how a person reacts to being cheated on has nothing to do with self-esteem.have you never heard of forgiveness? or are all who forgive lacking in self-esteem?

MrBrownJay1:


Any person has the right to leave their miserable union if they desire to do so. You certainly cant make the world a better place by having people staying in miserable marriage/union while being DISRESPECTED by their UNFAITHFUL/DISHONEST/DECEITFUL partner.

of course!!!!

The minute your husband decides to cheat then, i am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST HIM!!!!

I never claimed that all men cheat, i only stated that all cheating men are DISRESPECTFUL/UNFAITHFUL/DISHONEST/DECEITFUL people.


you are right... but i am entitled to post my opinion on the issue at hand, isnt it?

As much as I would like to lean towards your ideology, it appears you're myopic on marriage issues. You come across as having a mathematical solution to every marital issues even as you would agree that 'one size doesn't fit all'.

I will rather take a different standpoint coz it's wise to have a holistic approach re this subject as critical questions need to be asked & all tools exhausted. This is important because the kids (who can't yet speak for themselves) will share/suffer the ripple effects of the foolish couple's decision to break the home.

Marriage is work & the two have to realize this - the future is not what we walk into, it's what we create.

[s]

KanuSE:


As much as I would like to lean towards your ideology, it appears you're myopic on marriage issues. You come across as having a mathematical solution to every marital issues even as you would agree that 'one size doesn't fit all'.

I will rather take a different standpoint coz it's wise to have a holistic approach re this subject as critical questions need to be asked & all tools exhausted. This is important because the kids (who can't yet speak for themselves) will share/suffer the ripple effects of the foolish couple's decision to break the home.

Marriage is work & the two have to realize this - the future is not what we walk into, it's what we create.

[/s]

felaismyhero:
i dont agree with you sir.how a person reacts to being cheated on has nothing to do with self-esteem.have you never heard of forgiveness? or are all who forgive lacking in self-esteem?

Don't mind MrBrownJay1 , his/her disposition to marriage issues shows they prefer the easy way - their type hardly fight for what they believe in - no family values. If it's not working to plan they ditch the bitch, no point finding the root cause of issues & fix it.

Well he/she is entitled to their opinion though.

DevilhimseIf:

You're noticed ok , oya crawl back into your cage.

Human beings are having an intellectual discourse here ok.

KanuSE:


As much as I would like to lean towards your ideology, it appears you're myopic on marriage issues. You come across as having a mathematical solution to every marital issues even as you would agree that 'one size doesn't fit all'.

I will rather take a different standpoint coz it's wise to have a holistic approach re this subject as critical questions need to be asked & all tools exhausted. This is important because the kids (who can't yet speak for themselves) will share/suffer the ripple effects of the foolish couple's decision to break the home.

Marriage is work & the two have to realize this - the future is not what we walk into, it's what we create.

It's not a mathematical view on the issue it's a very simple and open minded view.... there are rules in marriage and the minute you decide to go against these rules by DISRESPECTING/CHEATING on your partner, then you are going against the foundation of that said marriage. I certainly do not believe that cheating is/was part of the vows they exchanged. Is it?

Yes, you have to work hard to keep any marriage afloat, but do you therefore believe that people should just forgive any DISRESPECTFUL/DECEITFUL/DISHONEST/UNFAITHFUL partner?! I certainly don't think so.

Kids will only suffer when they learn to either A) stay in miserable Marriages at any costp or B) treat your spouse in such a DISRESPECTFUL/DECEITFUL/DISHONEST/UNFAITHFUL manner.

felaismyhero:
i dont agree with you sir.how a person reacts to being cheated on has nothing to do with self-esteem.have you never heard of forgiveness? or are all who forgive lacking in self-esteem?

If you believe in forgiving a spouse that openly disrespected you and/or your union in such a dishonest/deceitful/unfaithful manner...then YES, low self esteem you are suffering from.

People come up with all the rubbish excuses to stay in these miserable union, aka:
- i stay for the kids
- I don't want to be a divorced woman
- he said he will never do it again
- I can't live without him (or his supoort/money)
- I gave too much to this union to let some slay queen take over my home
- where will I start from here?
- over my dead body i will leave this man, til death do us part
- what he does outside is none of my concern

All the above are LOW SELF ESTEEM reasons

KanuSE:


Don't mind MrBrownJay1 , his/her disposition to marriage issues shows they prefer the easy way - their type hardly fight for what they believe in - no family values. If it's not working to plan they ditch the bitch, no point finding the root cause of issues & fix it.

Well he/she is entitled to their opinion though.

You can only fight for what is RIGHT, and sadly, the minute a spouse has cheated then this ship is sinking...whether you hang on to it or not. Leaving such disrespectful/dishonest/unfaithful/deceitful person is certainly NOT the easy way, that's the hardest way. The easy way is to put your head in the sand pretending such can be fixed while we all know YOU CANT.

Finding the root cause for cheating?! Bwaaaaaah! Let me help you....if such person had any RESPECT for you or your union, they wouldn't cheat to begin with, and would instead work WITH YOU on such "root cause" you are talking about

[s]

KanuSE:


You're noticed ok , oya crawl back into your cage.

Human beings are having an intellectual discourse here ok.

[/s]

[s]

KanuSE:


Don't mind MrBrownJay1 , his/her disposition to marriage issues shows they prefer the easy way - their type hardly fight for what they believe in - no family values. If it's not working to plan they ditch the bitch, no point finding the root cause of issues & fix it.

Well he/she is entitled to their opinion though.

[/s]

9jaAmerican:
question is, will you be these calm when your wife fuccks another diickk??

I'm a man, but let's all be guided biko

We can't argue such a thing as our gender-influenced sentiments would stand in the way of mutual agreement. We're intelligent creatures & the level of our knowledge and development is unwilling to notice the integral nature of man & woman.

The man is territorial in nature while the woman is competitive, you can't compare the man to the woman as they are naturally different.

Hope you get my drift.

[s]

KanuSE:


We can't argue such a thing as our gender-influenced sentiments would stand in the way of mutual agreement. We're intelligent creatures & the level of our knowledge and development is unwilling to notice the integral nature of man & woman.

The man is territorial in nature while the woman is competitive, you can't compare the man to the woman as they are naturally different.

Hope you get my drift.

[/s]

MrBrownJay1:


You can only fight for what is RIGHT, and sadly, the minute a spouse has cheated then this ship is sinking...whether you hang on to it or not. Leaving such disrespectful/dishonest/unfaithful/deceitful person is certainly NOT the easy way, that's the hardest way. The easy way is to put your head in the sand pretending such can be fixed while we all know YOU CANT.

Finding the root cause for cheating?! Bwaaaaaah! Let me help you....if such person had any RESPECT for you or your union, they wouldn't cheat to begin with, and would instead work WITH YOU on such "root cause" you are talking about

You're simply operating the text book kind of beautiful marriage. Are you tryna say most of the beautiful couples or marriages we see around are void of turbulence? Are you tryna say our parents didn't have their trying times? Are you tryna say perseverance, forgiveness, sacrifice, selflessness, patience ain't part of marriage when problems arise?

You're still doing the same thing, you ain't facing reality.

[quote author=MrBrownJay1 post=81537018]


Yes, you have to work hard to keep any marriage afloat, but do you therefore believe that people should just forgive any DISRESPECTFUL/DECEITFUL/DISHONEST/UNFAITHFUL partner?! I certainly don't think so.

Kids will only suffer when they learn to either A) stay in miserable Marriages at any costp or B) treat your spouse in such a DISRESPECTFUL/DECEITFUL/DISHONEST/UNFAITHFUL manner.



If you believe in forgiving a spouse that openly disrespected you and/or your union in such a dishonest/deceitful/unfaithful manner...then YES, low self esteem you are suffering from.
ok,bro what more can i say? hmmm,lol as @kanuSE noted,you seem to have a mathematical view of marital issues.i doubt if there are absolutes in relationship matters.

[s]

KanuSE:


You're simply operating the text book kind of beautiful marriage. Are you tryna say most of the beautiful couples or marriages we see around are void of turbulence? Are you tryna say our parents didn't have their trying times? Are you tryna say perseverance, forgiveness, sacrifice, selflessness, patience ain't part of marriage when problems arise?

You're still doing the same thing, you ain't facing reality.

[/s]
shut up
you're talking nonsense

[s]

DevilhimseIf:

shut up
you're talking nonsense

[/s]

Hahahaha you also feel the need to put ya smelly mouth where human beings are discussing intellectual issues.

Hahahaha you make me laugh walahi fa.

KanuSE:


We can't argue such a thing as our gender-influenced sentiments would stand in the way of mutual agreement. We're intelligent creatures & the level of our knowledge and development is unwilling to notice the integral nature of man & woman.

The man is territorial in nature while the woman is competitive, you can't compare the man to the woman as they are naturally different.

Hope you get my drift.

hmmmm,what is wrong is wrong.if a man cheats and the woman wants to go,then i would support her.but if she chooses to stay,then ok!

KanuSE:
[s]

Hahahaha you also feel the need to put ya smelly mouth where human beings are discussing intellectual issues.

Hahahaha you make me laugh walahi fa.

[/s]
trash trash trash
e pain am well well

KanuSE:


You're simply operating the text book kind of beautiful marriage. Are you tryna say most of the beautiful couples or marriages we see around are void of turbulence? Are you tryna say our parents didn't have their trying times? Are you tryna say perseverance, forgiveness, sacrifice, selflessness, patience ain't part of marriage when problems arise?

You're still doing the same thing, you ain't facing reality.

It's called common sense.... if you believe that people should hang on to these poisonous union at any cost, then so be it. No wonder so many kids today are bleeped up when they grow up in such miserable/negative/poisonous environment.

You can't compare our parents with people of today. Back then people had NO choice/option but today that ain't the case. Comparing our parents/ forefatherswith people today, will have you fail on this issue TIME AND TIME AGAIN.

There are many issues in marriage that can be fixed... but DISHONESTY/UNFAITHFULNESS/DECEIT/DISRESPECT certainly ain't one of them. The minute hubby/wifey has decided to spit on your union (or you) by sleeping with another person behind your back, then that union is OVER, whether you desperately hang on to it or not.

You are the one who ain't facing reality by by thinking that staying with someone who has no respect for you (or your union) is the way to live life. Waste of life if you ask me.

KanuSE:


You're simply operating the text book kind of beautiful marriage. Are you tryna say most of the beautiful couples or marriages we see around are void of turbulence? Are you tryna say our parents didn't have their trying times? Are you tryna say perseverance, forgiveness, sacrifice, selflessness, patience ain't part of marriage when problems arise?

You're still doing the same thing, you ain't facing reality.

brother,help me tell him o! i told him before that his ideas,if followed, would lead to a society without marriage institution.then we would become like animals-just have sex with anyone and everyone! while i am not sure if that's wrong,stds make me feel it is not right.

felaismyhero:
hmmmm,what is wrong is wrong.if a man cheats and the woman wants to go,then i would support her.but if she chooses to stay,then ok!

We're saying the same thing

- our level of intelligence wouldn't recognize our integral nature coz over the centuries we've formed social standards for ourselves to govern our conducts.

- now there's the knowledge of what's right & what's not right, therefore our consciousness operates in that realm of which creates a conflict between what we are and what we now think we should be.

U gerrit?

felaismyhero:
brother,help me tell him o! i told him before that his ideas,if followed, would lead to a society without marriage institution.then we would become like animals-just have sex with anyone and everyone! while i am not sure if that's wrong,stds make me feel it is not right.

Isn't it what these cheating people are doing anyway?
Are you saying that all men disrespect their wife/union in such manner? Do you actually believe that the institution of marriage is any better by having people PRETENDING that all is good in their union (while it clearly aint)?

Yes some people cheat but the majority/others DON'T and instead have respect for their partner/union. The animals are these people who have NO business on what is called MARRIAGE

[s]

KanuSE:


We're saying the same thing

- our level of intelligence wouldn't recognize our integral nature coz over the centuries we've formed social standards for ourselves to govern our conducts.

- now there's the knowledge of what's right & what's not right, therefore our consciousness operates in that realm of which creates a conflict between what we are and what we now think we should be.

U gerrit?

[/s]

MrBrownJay1:


It's called common sense.... if you believe that people should hang on to these poisonous union at any cost, then so be it. No wonder so many kids today are bleeped up when they grow up in such miserable/negative/poisonous environment.

You can't compare our parents with people of today. Back then people had NO choice/option but today that ain't the case. Comparing our parents/ forefatherswith people today, will have you fail on this issue TIME AND TIME AGAIN.

There are many issues in marriage that can be fixed... but DISHONESTY/UNFAITHFULNESS/DECEIT/DISRESPECT certainly ain't one of them. The minute hubby/wifey has decided to spit on your union (or you) by sleeping with another person behind your back, then that union is OVER, whether you desperately hang on to it or not.

You are the one who ain't facing reality by by thinking that staying with someone who has no respect for you (or your union) is the way to live life. Waste of life if you ask me.

Let me clear my position so you don't get it twisted ok.

If there is physical abuse is any relationship it's a NO for me - the victim needs to move on.

@bolded, you have actually covered most of the issues affecting a marriage & I believe that if the two are willing, infidelity also can be forgiven - I have seen it happen.

It's a relief to know that you also hold the position that many issues in marriage can be fixed - good way to start.

KanuSE:


We're saying the same thing

- our level of intelligence wouldn't recognize our integral nature coz over the centuries we've formed social standards for ourselves to govern our conducts.

- now there's the knowledge of what's right & what's not right, therefore our consciousness operates in that realm of which creates a conflict between what we are and what we now think we should be.

U gerrit?

yeah,i gerrit now! you are right; there are societal expectations of the different sexes.if a feminist argues that those centuries old social standards do not have female input in them,how would you respond?(lol.i suspect @mrjaybrown is a feminist)

MrBrownJay1:


Isn't it what these cheating people are doing anyway?
Are you saying that all men disrespect their wife/union in such manner? Do you actually believe that the institution of marriage is any better by having people PRETENDING that all is good in their union (while it clearly aint)?

Yes some people cheat but the majority/others DON'T and instead have respect for their partner/union. The animals are these people who have NO business on what is called MARRIAGE

everything you said is true.i agree with you; what i disagree with is you saying a woman who agrees to stay with her philandering husband or a man who chooses to stick with his cheating wife suffers from LOW SELF ESTEEM! that i think is far from the truth.

felaismyhero:
yeah,i gerrit now! you are right; there are societal expectations of the different sexes. if a feminist argues that those centuries old social standards do not have female input in them,how would you respond?(lol.i suspect @mrjaybrown is a feminist)

MrBrownJay1 is coming round bit by bit, he/she now admits that many issues in marriage can be fixed - good for a start.

Back to your question @bolded - I share that concern coz I believe in gender equality but we need not shy away from the fact that we complement each other just as we have our respective places in the social structure.

Today's world now tolerates female participation at all levels in our society & we cannot underestimate the importance of same with regards to the rapid growth/advancement in every spheres of life in recent years, particularly in the science & technology, healthcare, politics sectors amongst others.

felaismyhero:
everything you said is true.i agree with you; what i disagree with is you saying a woman who agrees to stay with her philandering husband or a man who chooses to stick with his cheating wife suffers from LOW SELF ESTEEM! that i think is far from the truth.

Lol

KanuSE:


MrBrownJay1 is coming round bit by bit, he/she now admits that many issues in marriage can be fixed - good for a start.

You sound as if I am saying that the minute ANYTHING doesn't go your way in marriage, you should leave.... you make no sense. What's next? Your wifey and you have a small disagreement, so you should divorce her?!?!?!?

There is a huge difference between having small fixable marital differences AND going to open your legs to another, behind your spouse's back.

felaismyhero:
everything you said is true.i agree with you; what i disagree with is you saying a woman who agrees to stay with her philandering husband or a man who chooses to stick with his cheating wife suffers from LOW SELF ESTEEM! that i think is far from the truth.

Pls, by all means, tell us all why anyone would stay with someone who obviously has NO respect for them OR their union, and who would gladly cheat/deceive/lies to them?!

felaismyhero:
yeah,i gerrit now! you are right; there are societal expectations of the different sexes.if a feminist argues that those centuries old social standards do not have female input in them,how would you respond?(lol.i suspect @mrjaybrown is a feminist)

I am a realistic...who has a brain and use common sense to view these issues. People get married for a purpose and the minute such purpose ain't there any longer, I believe they should NOT stay married to one another. TRUST RESPECT LOVE and HONESTY are foundation of such purpose