I have never felt anything like the time I found out that she had had an emotional affair with a guy at work for a year and a half.

I woke up one morning earlier this year wondering why my marriage was sucky. I am not a bad guy. I try to do the right thing. I had never been abusive to her, but we had grown apart. our marriage was dry and flavorless. I no longer looked forward to going to bed with her and it had been this way for years.

I thought that it would just fix itself, but it didn’t. For all intents and purposes, the love was dead. That morning I rolled over to face my wife and asked her why our marriage was bad and why she was so cold to me. She said she had met someone at work and she believes this person to be her twin flame. She asked me if I knew what that meant, and I had heard a bit about it. Enough to know that she loved another person.

She continued to tell me that nothing physical had happened, but they communicated by messenger and what not. But also, explained that it had been over between them for a year.

I asked her if she wanted a divorce. She said no. But at that time I was seriously thinking I wanted one.

My heart was broken. I had no desire to eat, sleep or work. I was confused, sad, angry. It was like I was getting water boarded with negative emotions and wanted to die.

I knew deep down that I was half the problem of the broken marriage. I felt she neglected me so I neglected her. Of course she felt that I neglected her so she neglected me. I know she felt lonely and wanted to talk with a guy. Of course I didn’t know it at the time. She was angry with me that I neglected her.

After a lot of self evaluation, I decided that I wanted to try and repair or restore or recreate our love.

There was so much about her that I wanted her to change, she was never very affectionate, she complained all the time, she would withhold sex. I knew I was no saint either, but I figured why should I change if she wouldn’t.

But I finally figured a few things out. First, the only person I can change is me. Second, acting out of anger never ends with positive results. Third, love is a choice and an action.

I decided to forgive her. This is not something that took place over night. I ended up getting on her phone and sent all 15,000 messages between him and her to my phone so I could understand better what had happened. She loved talking with him. She loved seeing him at work and would take him lunch and dinner on occasions. She never did this for me. It was like taking a chainsaw to my heart reading this. It was clear that she cared for him and not much for me.

Why even bother trying to working things out after reading this? I hated my life.

But I was still decided to fix the things wrong with me and try and love her the best I could. There were several things that I felt I needed to change about myself. For starters, I was no longer in shape. I had let myself go over the years because I just didn’t care. I got angry easy. Although I wasn’t mean, I didn’t go out of my way to be kind either.

I decided that I would get into shape. I decided to find something kind and meaningful to do for her every day. I decided that regardless of how angry I got at her, that I would try my best to show her love and respect. She certainly didn’t deserve this treatment, but I figured that if I were to ever repair this, That was the only true way forward. I would drive her to work and pick her up. I would make her dinner, and do the dishes and at least 30 min of house work. I did all of this without telling her I was going to do this. It took a good four months before I saw any improvement. And all that time my heart hurt. I wanted to die, but I kept doing this anyway.

After about 4 months things started to change. She was holding my hand. This isn’t something she had done for a very long time. I was still reading her messages in secret. I couldn’t trust her. But in all honesty, she thought I was reading her messages and yet she didn’t change her password.

I finally decided that I would have to trust her again if she was going to continue being my wife. I didn’t want a broken wife, I wanted a top of the line premium model. If you cannot love, cherish, trust and forgive your spouse, they will never be top of the line premium. So I worked on trusting her. It was hard. She had cheated for a year and a half. How do I know she won’t cheat again? But I decided that you have to set that thought aside and just trust.

Things have progressed a lot since then. It is almost like a new love. It is like we pulled out all of the old decaying plants and weeds from our flower garden of love and have started a new. We hug and kiss. We are passionate with each other. She is affectionate with me. We are open and honest with each other.

Have I forgiven her? When I see her, I don’t feel pain in my heart anymore. I look forward to seeing her. I crave her hugs. She will hug me for 10–20 minutes at night just holding me tight and I love it. We talk a lot.

Occasionally we will talk about the twin flame thing. That still doesn’t feel right to me, but I think that will just take time. I don’t feel threatened by it. I know I am a far better person that her twin flame. I know she is much happier today than she has been in many years.

Are things perfect? No, but I am happier now than I have been in years. I know what went wrong and won’t make the mistakes again.

Was it worth it? Yes.
quora

ladies and gentlemen oya share your experience with us


cc xhosanostra uboma lexusgs430

weyreypey:
ladies and gentlemen oya share your experience with us


cc xhosanostra uboma lexusgs430

No forgiveness, the moment i find out...... The relationship would be winding down, from that point.........

harsh.....why can't you forgive and give a second chance? SPOUSE NOT GIRLFRIEND!!!

Lexusgs430:



No forgiveness, the moment i find out...... The relationship would be winding down, from that point.........

hmmm
look at it very well, (the emoticons) its saying something.

weyreypey:
harsh.....why can't you forgive and give a second chance? SPOUSE NOT GIRLFRIEND!!!

Once cheating happens (physically or emotionally)........ One party is already absent, why pull, when pushing out is a better option?.......

@ Op, is that your personal experience or someone else's?

weyreypey:
harsh.....why can't you forgive and give a second chance? SPOUSE NOT GIRLFRIEND!!!

Once trust is broken........ That relationship is on a downward slope.........

Your relationship will never be the same. cheating changes everything

He still refused to break up with her.
i couldnt trust him after.

I watched her go out every night . She'd place my head on her soft chest and then walk out that door.
Right before me I saw a surprise party, major players of the finance industry having a toast with fine wine, it was on February 14 when those middle aged men drove into our apartment accompanied by a brand new black exotic car and red ribbon and balloons to match. I watched from the window upstairs in my one room apartment as she was presented with the gift. She accepted every gift including the deep hugs and cheek kisses. She brought a Belaire upstairs when they were gone and I couldn't touch that drink somehow what I saw had transformed me into a teetotaller.

That evening we fixed a Valentine's date and she placed her order. I pleaded with her as I couldn't afford the cheapest item on the menu. I looked up all I saw was a one million Naira light bulb , a centre of attraction in the luxury restaurant which was in itself a cynosure in my city. I looked down and the floor tiles which were as transparent as mirror reflected my watery eyes. She told me
"Free human, don't worry I'll drink water." I purchased the most expensive 75 cl of water that day and we walked out the store. I bought Gala for her outside and a bottle of fanta. I was just a student just like she was. I had nothing to give more than love and tears, nothing to share but dreams and hopes. We boarded a tricycle home.

That night I chained her. I blindfolded her. That night I rehearsed my 10 favorite pages of the Kama Sutra and she was the apparatus . Marvin Gaye's sexual healing played from my home theatre and it gave me peace of mind. I stroked her gently and aggressively, I penetrated her in between her legs passionately, in her armpits romantically, in between her firm breasts hopelessly and as a boobs worshipper my milk was spilt on top of her mammary glands . Her labia minora and labia majora were approaching paradise. She moaned until her voice died so that she was shaking her legs. She begged me to continue and it was just time I planned to play the mouth game and as usual I sucked intelligence out of her body and her spirit rose to the Everest. That's what my playground looks like fellas.

She returned the car the next day and told the man, she doesn't want to drive . My pretty beautiful lover did not keep his IPhone gift, he received them back as well.

On February 20th, she returned only to find me on bed with the ugliest girl in my class. She walked out and never returned. It was the only way I had to pay her for being naive and not having plans about her life.

Forgiveness is a sin.

If my wife confesses before and asks for forgiveness, I will forgive her, talk it through, express my worries and reservations and we will work it out. With time, and commitment, the trust will be back.
BUT, If through all d lies and deceit I have to find out myself, then she's only sorry that she got caught and that forecloses any chance of having any reasoning with her.
To me she bcoms dead and if she doesn't get going on her own, I will be a widower soon.

Two years into my present relationship, my lady cheated but I never knew,just kept showing her love until she confessed herself, in which they had sex, unfortunately d guy she cheated with died of an illness after her confession, I held d pain for months after series of begging and apologies which I tried so hard to let go of. finally forgave her and I don't even remember again and our relationship has grown stronger but not void of cracks, but trust is limited but she seems sensible and less naive now, but i won't b caught off guard again if it appns or she call it quits!

LEXUSGS430 READ THIS!!

addictedwriter:
Two years into my present relationship, my lady cheated but I never knew,just kept showing her love until she confessed herself, in which they had sex, unfortunately d guy she cheated with died of an illness after her confession, I held d pain for months after series of begging and apologies which I tried so hard to let go off. finally forgave her and I don't even remember again and our relationship has grown stronger but not void of crackd, but trust is limited but she seems sensible and less naive now, but i won't b caught off guard again if it appns or she call it quits!

weyreypey:
LEXUSGS430 READ THIS!!

If you want to cheat, cheat well.........


Make sure i never find out and don't confess .................

ooohh it's quora,

was thinking it was Nigerian

Am just angry today,

Cc ubunja Iamgenius
my brothers what you gat to say to this

skywalker240:


Am just angry today,


Cc ubunja
Iamgenius

my brothers what you gat to say to this

UBUNJA IN PARTICULAR

l wouldn't say she cheated, we had alot of issues about ex'es that wouldn't let Us be, she was emotionally weak they will play with emotions and she will end up crying to me, l had to set standards, l thought her how to be strong.she grew up having mostly male friends and she thought it was normal, we were two different people in love, and l needed her to be fully focused, we had our little quarrels, but she never insulted me for once this pasts 3 years, we never go to bed without settling what ever quarrels we had, with each misunderstanding we had, it gave us a better understanding of each other, our Love has grown stronger, with each day that goes buy, she ain't perfect, and l ain't perfect either , but love perfected Us. Love requires a lot of work and commitment, A wise man once said, Love is life, and He who loves, most give life to it

If I Forgive Cheatin then I Will Forgive Murder... Sorry I Cant Forgive Murder

IamPlato:
If I Forgive Cheatin then I Will Forgive Murder... Sorry I Cant Forgive Murder

Just like lexusgs430

very interesting

weyreypey:
Just like lexusgs430

whats That?

Never... I cant

i have and it was a mixed feeling of desire n anger.but that day I bleeped her so well.it was painful I kept referring to it till I couldn't remember anymore.tins got back together n we were cool again

Jjuuddee:
i have and it was a mixed feeling of desire n anger.but that day I bleeped her so well.it was painful I kept referring to it till I couldn't remember anymore.tins got back together n we were cool again

Haaa

WHY NOT?

Zoroaster:
Never... I cant

In as much as she no be virgin when you marry am, which means she don Bleep tire before you met am, so if she is truly sorry about it, forgive her and move on. She still remains your wife till death do you part. Thanks

ezeonline2:
In as much as she no be virgin when you marry am, which means she don Bleep tire before you met am, so if she is truly sorry about it, forgive her and move on. She still remains your wife till death do you part. Thanks

If she come be virgin nko

ezeonline2:
In as much as she no be virgin when you marry am, which means she don Bleep tire before you met am, so if she is truly sorry about it, forgive her and move on. She still remains your wife till death do you part. Thanks

IamPlato:
If I Forgive Cheatin then I Will Forgive Murder... Sorry I Cant Forgive Murder

Lexusgs430:



No forgiveness, the moment i find out...... The relationship would be winding down, from that point.........

watch this movie and learn about forgiveness


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Vp_YNPULmA

weyreypey:


watch this movie and learn about forgiveness


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Vp_YNPULmA

That's their story........ I would have my story......

Lexusgs430:


That's their story........ I would have my story......

You are very obstinate. Remember the Lord's prayer.