I have always said that one of the important things you must learn in life is the attitude of drawing your boundaries and strictly sticking to them. In a world filled with cruel and opportunistic wolves, drawing your boundaries requires having a strong back bone because whether you like it or not, there are people that are looking forward to mercilessly taking advantage of others by using any tactics. These people will always exist and you can't run away from them and they could be anybody. They could be family, cousins, friends, colleagues, strangers etc.

Why are you, as a business person, giving your goods and services for free to friends, family or close ones? Can't they pay? Why do you let them exploit you using "friendship", "family" or the cordial relationship that exists between you and them? Why bow to such pressure? People who do that are actually wicked and should be considered your enemy. As they take your goods and/or services for free, they are making you incur losses and since they didn't pay, they prevent you from taking care of yourself and family(if you have one). If they love you and have good intentions towards you, they would pay so that you can have money to take care of your needs instead of incurring losses for you. In business, there are no such thing as friends only business partners. In business, profit is supreme and above it there shall be no other. Once something or someone is costing you profits, you must discard such thing or person.

The ugly truth is that most of the people that are cajoling you to give your goodies and skills for free using friendship, family or sympathy don't care a dime about you and they are just manipulating you. They won't, in a million years, even return the favour if the tables were turned and they would, with the speed of light, dismiss your pleas. This is one of the reasons why I said, in a topic of mine, being kind and nice are actually weaknesses. In the tough world out there, your kindness, niceness and forgiving nature are qualities that make you vulnerable to users, fake friends and other heartless opportunists. No cares if you have these qualities expect when they can use it for their own gain and they won't treat you better because you have these qualities. They don't care.

Learn to stand your ground, maintain your boundaries and use your sense. If there are any goods and/or services that people are paying for in the real world, why are you foolishly giving it to others for free? Why are you, as a rich man, allowing friends to live in your houses for free? Can't they pay for it? Can't they go and hustle? "but they are friends" Well, it doesn't mean they shouldn't go hustle and beside, these friends will show their true colours when you have nothing. How can a girl be working in a cybercafé earning ₦7000 monthly so that she can pay for her for her JAMB form and university tuition yet her parents and siblings will use sympathy to snatch the money from her because "things are hard, the family needs to feed and people are hungry" ? Is that not wickedness on the part of the parents and siblings? Is that irresponsibility on the part of the parents? Why can't they hustle? Why can't the foolish girl stand her ground? Why is she sacrificing her goals for wicked and irresponsible people? At the end, her opportunity passes her and she gains nothing.

This inability to maintain one's boundary is also one of the reasons why private hospitals run down and incur losses. Why can't you as a doctor maintain your no payment, no service policy ? A lot of patients in dear situations will rush to your hospital begging you treat them for free that they will pay back unfailingly. They will pressurise you and repeatedly remind you, using emotions, sympathy and drama, that you have to do something or else the person in need will get worse or die. Sympathy, sympathy and sympathy. Many doctors eventually fall for this rubbish and treat for free while foolishly thinking the patients will pay back but they never do. The doctors are too kind and don't want to be seen as bad people. Some of the treated patients run away while some come back to plead, with intense emotions and drama, to be let of the hook. Even when the run aways are caught and locked up they will eventually be released by the doctors because "let bygones be bygones and the suffering is too much on the debtor". How can you help deliver the baby of a broke man who can even feed himself thinking he would pay back? Las las you will detain the mother and the child and still let them go because the irresponsible broke man will obviously never pay and "let bygones be bygones and the suffering is too much on the debtor".

These debtors don't give a shit about the hospital business or whether you won't be able to feed your family if they don't pay. They are fighting for themselves so fight for yourself also. This is similar to when people come to borrow money from you. They will come seemingly sincere and give hearty promises that they would pay back only for them to ghost you or become aggressive when you confront them to pay back the money they owe you. Some will keep telling you for two years running, long after the deadline of their promise, "I will pay you soon" and even have the guts to act like you are pestering them. Learn to be wise.

Please, let's use our brains and draw our boundaries. When you draw your boundaries and these hungry wolves see that they can't manipulate you, they will get angry and bitter at you henceforth; spread rumours about you and/or call you names. Don't fall for it, stand your grounds. Very rich people are seen as stingy and ruthless in their business because they understand this principle. You might be seen as wicked initially but you bank account and business will smile in the future.




Dothraki, JOHNNYSPUTE, CAPSLOCKED, HopefulLandlord, hahn, ubunja, carter009

CAPSLOCKED:
IT IS REALLY DIFFICULT TO DRAW ANY LINES BETWEEN YOUR MONEY AND OUR FOREVER ENTITLED AFRICAN RELATIVES AND FRIENDS. EVERYBODY FEELS YOU OWE THEM SOMETHING, EVEN WHEN ITS INSUFFICIENT AND NOT COMFORTABLE FOR YOU.

In the part of the world, the words "family" and "friend" are illusions used by people to just their sense of entitlement towards those they are close to. People are fake.

Seun, lalasticlala, mynd44, Ishilove and Co, please take this topic to front page. You know this can be helpful to people and make them better business persons. Let's see if Seun and his mods care for the good cause.

Nice piece

Hmmn, it's difficult trust me but one has to insist. No family and friends in business.

faithfull18:
Hmmn, it's difficult trust me but one has to insist. No family and friends in business.

It might be difficult but it is the right thing to do. When you want to refuse granting the pleas and succumbing to pressure, politely say NO. Don't try to explain or placate the person. Just keep politely saying NO. If they want to explode, let them. Just keep saying NO politely.

Hope we are now making good business decisions. Business should be built on profit and rationality not emotions and sympathy.

Nice piece, logical arguments but after living three decades on earth with highs and lows.... Take it from me... Family is not important,
FAMILY IS EVERYTHING. FAMILY IS ALL YOU VE GOT.
When you have made money, you will realize that money in itself is nothing and can do nothing. It's only value is what u spend it on.

They will not make out time to read such a beautiful thread like this that incurred serious brainstorming. They would rather wait to become victims and start flooding everywhere with circumstances that could have been avoided

healthserve:
They will not make out time to read such a beautiful thread like this that incurred serious brainstorming. They would rather wait to become victims and start flooding everywhere with circumstances that could have been avoided

Seun, lalasticlala, mynd44, Ishilove, farano and others will not take this wonderful message to front page.

Martinez39:
Seun, lalasticlala, mynd44, Ishilove, farano and others will not take this wonderful message to front page.

No they won't. If you speak against femininism and popular females on here, you can count on your posts as already dismissed before review. We earned it

I keep saying this, martinez39 is one of the most intelligent nairalander ever. This is exactly my thoughts jotted down so beautifully. So apt.

Dothraki:
I keep saying this, martinez39 is one of the most intelligent nairalander ever. This is exactly my thoughts jotted down so beautifully. So apt.

Thanks. I hope people learn to have a backbone.