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Why do some people like pornography so much?
There are some simple answers to this question. But I’ve found they don’t calm fears in concerned clients and their partners. Those answers include, “because it is pleasurable” or “because men are more visually focused they prefer images and videos over written material”. The one answer that does seem to cultivate some compassion through understanding is this: Porn is easy to watch.
Sex, especially with a long-term partner may include negotiation, interpersonal communication, effort to connect, associated thoughts, conversation, and experiences related to the stressors of running and maintaining a household and/or family, as well as the clean-up, cuddling, and aftercare with that partner. This is all great stuff. It is the raw material of intimacy and long-term connection. It is wonderful that sex can bond us with a partner through all of these aspects in just one encounter. But arousal and orgasm are so amazing they have many more capacities than only strengthening the relationship.
A partner using porn alone for arousal and masturbation might be seeking a natural stress reliever, a natural sleep aid, a natural pick me up with fewer side effects than coffee, the opportunity to passively appreciate beauty, a fantasy of being desired (or many other kinds of fantasy), an erotic boost to bring into the relationship at another time, or any of the many other positive benefits that masturbation and fantasy might provide. Porn brings the promise of all of these.

Eric fritzmexrid