You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it.

Listen — if you are in love with someone who cannot love you back at the moment, please, understand that this is not a reflection of your goodness, this is not a reflection of your worth. Sometimes life weathers people in different ways.

We are all on this Earth just trying to figure ourselves out, just trying to mend the breaks in our souls, just trying to deal with what is heavy within us. Sometimes, we’re ready and another person is not.

Sometimes, we try, and another person does not. Sometimes, we pour ourselves into another human being and they cannot contain all that we are. Sometimes, we fight, and another person surrenders.

Sometimes, we choose to make things work, and another person decides that they cannot choose that same reality. And that is okay. I need you to understand that that is okay.

Because at the end of the day, if someone does not meet you where you are, you cannot keep asking them to do so. If someone cannot reciprocate your love, if someone cannot give you what you truly deserve, you have to understand that aching for them to do so before they are ready is a form of self destruction.

Your heart is a vast and tender thing, you cannot keep trying to shrink it into what someone else needs. You cannot keep pouring your love into a vessel that cannot contain it. You cannot keep pouring your love into a soul that has not opened their eyes to all that they are receiving.

You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it. It will only leave you empty. You have to walk away. You have to let this person grow on their own terms, because you can’t love someone into their potential. You can’t love someone into being ready. They have to do that on their own.

And I know how hard it is to walk away from someone you deeply care for. I know how hard it is to lay all of that love down, to close your heart off to all that it sees in another human being.

But in walking away you will learn how to pour all of the love that you were giving to the wrong person, back into yourself. And you will learn how to pour it into all that you desire in life, you will learn how to pour it into your growth, into your art, into your hope.

You will learn how to stand up for your feeling, how to stand up for its value. And when you teach yourself that you deserve to be loved, without having to beg for that love, without having to chase that love down, you open yourself to the kind of beauty that chooses you just as freely as you choose it. You open yourself to the kind of people who see you and immediately know that you are a rare and beautiful thing.

You open yourself to new beginnings, to a future that unfolds in ways that don’t hurt or break you down, but rather, build you up, and show you just how worthy you are of having your heart held.

Love you all

This gal sha

Sweet words, but the problem is, people who are victims of not being loved back tend to be cold towards any feelings of love or whatever afterwards, they will not make themselves vulnerable again, they only love themselves alone and I don't see anything wrong with that, then the person who refused to reciprocate their love always come back begging later, which is very irritating, would you advice the person to accept him back? Cos I don't see how the love would still be there sha.

Fountainofyouth:
Sweet words, but the problem is, people who are victims of not being loved back tend to be cold towards any feelings of love or whatever afterwards, they will not make themselves vulnerable again, they only love themselves alone and I don't see anything wrong with that, then the person who refused to reciprocate their love always come back begging later, which is very irritating, would you advice the person to accept him back? Cos I don't see how the love would still be there sha.

So true....u just told my tale....funny enough I now see them as opportunists...

Very interesting piece, I've never been the type to bother myself about persuading my love interest. If I express my intentions and you don't reciprocate even in the most little way, I'm gone for good. The feeling has to be mutual for it to blossom, if it's just one sided, it becomes very toxic for the party that's putting all the effort. Most times, It only leads to sadness, regrets and exhaustion. The earlier you wake up and smell the coffee, the better for you.

LillyVal:
You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it...

Because at the end of the day, if someone does not meet you where you are, you cannot keep asking them to do so. If someone cannot reciprocate your love, if someone cannot give you what you truly deserve, you have to understand that aching for them to do so before they

You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it. It will only leave you empty. You have to walk away. You have to let this person grow on their own terms, because you can’t love someone into their potential. You can’t love someone into being ready. They have to do that on their own.

And I know how hard it is to walk away from someone you deeply care for. I know how hard it is to lay all of that love down, to close your heart off to all that it sees in another human being.

But in walking away you will learn how to pour all of the love that you were giving to the wrong person, back into yourself. And you will learn how to pour it into all that you desire in life, you will learn how to pour it into your growth, into your art, into your hope.

You will learn how to stand up for your feeling, how to stand up for its value. And when you teach yourself that you deserve to be loved, without having to beg for that love.

Words I wish I'd heard back then... It's all good now.. Sometimes we need to hurt to grow.

Guess someone did a great damage.

Nice write up

It will just be like pouring water in a basket

So true girl.

Thanks. I really needed this

Fountainofyouth:
Sweet words, but the problem is, people who are victims of not being loved back tend to be cold towards any feelings of love or whatever afterwards, they will not make themselves vulnerable again, they only love themselves alone and I don't see anything wrong with that, then the person who refused to reciprocate their love always come back begging later, which is very irritating, would you advice the person to accept him back? Cos I don't see how the love would still be there sha.

You’re right. I’m fresh off coming out of a relationship where I was literally always begging to be loved, it’s probably too early to say but I have this feeling that I’m so badly damaged that I’ll never be vulnerable again, which is important in a relationship. Idk, right now I’m just looking forward to whatever comes next in my life. Like Post Malone’s song “Goodbye” I need to save myself before anything or anyone else..My attitude & mindset towards love & girls is so bad now that my friend tells me that whoever I’m going to date next is actually going to suffer for what my ex caused. It scares me, a lot..

This is very correct and especially for me. It's important not to even let it degenerate to those feelings of sadness you mentioned.

As a personal life hack, I have re-enforced in my mind that it's okay that a conversation with someone doesn't flow or isnt sleek, fundamentally, we're all a reflection of our experience and I wouldn't let another person's experience weigh on my esteem, that tends to ease off the pressures of trying too
hard to impress

KiingShay:
Very interesting piece, I've never been the type to bother myself about persuading my love interest. If I express my intentions and you don't reciprocate even in the most little way, I'm gone for good. The feeling has to be mutual for it to blossom, if it's just one sided, it becomes very toxic for the party that's putting all the effort. Most times, It only leads to sadness, regrets and exhaustion. The earlier you wake up and smell the coffee, the better for you.

Ashawo kobo kobo

Wonders shall never cease on nairaland, imagine a prostitute preaching love on nairaland, weldone o

I’m going through something similar and it’s so hard to walk away. I know that that’s the best option for me but every time I resolve to leave I end up falling deeper and deeper. And something tells me this person is a manipulator because they somehow try to make every thing I do be the reason why they cannot reciprocate my love.

Honestly I’ve tried to let go and I can’t, I just feel so weak and angry with myself that I can’t let go.
How does this end