stevups:
Genotype

ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT

Writercruze:
Arguments and disagreements are part of every relationship. It doesn’t matter how much you love your partner; there’s always something to argue or disagree over.

But there are certain things that you must agree on before taking your relationship to the next level. Otherwise, the relationship may not stand the test of time.

Like I always tell people, love is not the most important consideration when choosing a life partner. Some people are madly in love with themselves, but their marriage didn’t last. Do know why? It’s because they fail to agree on some sensitive issues.

So, if you are dating a Nigerian lady, ensure you agree on certain things before taking the relationship seriously. So, in this article, you will learn the things to agree on before engaging a Nigerian lady.

Crucial Things to Agree on Before Engaging A Nigerian Lady

#1. Commitment

If there’s no commitment in a marriage, such union will not stand the test of time. One partner will always feel cheated and this will degenerate to a serious marital crisis.

So, before you decide to engage her, ensure that you guys share the same view on commitment. Every beautiful or successful marriage, you see is a function of both partners’ commitment.

And once you discover that the lady isn’t ready for commitment, please don’t engage her. She can never give you a good home. Trust me; nothing frustrates a man than having a wife who’s not committed to the marriage.

It’s better to break up a five years relationship than marrying someone who will not be loyal to the marriage.

#2. Privacy

This is another area Nigerian couples often have issues in marriage. Ensure you agree on this with your girlfriend before taking the relationship to the next level.

Privacy in this context has to do with access to your cell phones and other personal belongings. If you guys both agree that you want to be open with each other, it’s okay.

This means that your girlfriend has your phone pin or pattern and you have hers too. It also indicates that you can sneak into her phone and check what she is doing and who she’s chatting with. Similarly, she can do the same with you.

If you both agree on this and it has been working for you guys for a while. Then you are in the right direction.

#3. Bestie And Ex

You see these two guys – Bestie and Ex, they have destroyed many homes. About 67% of infidelity in marriages are with Besties and Ex. Yes, it’s that serious.

If you are dating a Nigerian lady, ensure you guys agree on the fact that no male besties or unnecessary contact with Ex. Don’t take the relationship to the next level if you guys haven’t agreed on this.

My friend had a terrible experience with his girlfriend during our NYSC days. His girlfriend was always around a guy who she claimed was her best friend. According to her, the Akwa Ibom boy was like a brother to her, nothing more.

My friend innocently allowed things to go because he wanted to be a gentleman. Guess what happened? He met the so-called bestie in banging his girlfriend. It was a terrible experience, and they ended the relationship.

Imagined my guy didn’t discover this thing on time… What do you think would have happened? The bestie would have still been banging her in my friend’s house.

If you are dating a Nigerian girl who’s fond of contacting her ex all the time, don’t take that relationship seriously. You guys can still be having fun together, but it will be dangerous to marry such lady. Okafor law is dangerous and never allow anybody to manifest it on your woman.

#4. How You Settle Disputes

I have always mentioned that there’s no perfect relationship anywhere. To the best of my knowledge, you only see perfect relationships in Zeeworld, Nollywood, etc.

So, if you are expecting a relationship without disputes or fight, you are living in a fool’s paradise.

It doesn’t matter how many times you fight in a relationship. What matters is how you guys settle your disputes.

If your lady always shuts down and gives you the silent treatment after every argument, try to work on it before engaging her. If you can’t find your way around it, then she is not your soulmate.

How will you feel if your wife is keeping malice with you over a little disagreement? It won’t make sense.

#5. Lifestyle

Lifestyle is another area you must agree on. If your girlfriend is living a lifestyle you don’t like, try to discuss it with her. Don’t allow love to accept what will not work for you. It will never end well for you.

If she goes to clubs and parties, talk to her about it. And if you guys aren’t on the same page about it, don’t take the relationship seriously. You will always have severe issues with her if your lifestyle differs from hers.

#6. The Name Game

This is another important area you should agree on. Do you want her to change her surname to yours? If yes, discuss it with her while dating.

Some ‘Nigerian babes dey form feminism’, they may not want to change their surnames. But if you discuss this from the onset, you will not have issues with it.

#7. Careers

Career is a sensitive area that must be discussed before you take the relationship to the next level.

If both of you are working, is her career going to affect your family? For instance, if you are a banker and your girlfriend whom you want to marry is also a banker, how do you cope? It won’t be easy.

An ambitious career woman wants to make it to the top of her career ladder may not have time for the kids. And if this isn’t something you can take, quietly work out of the relationship. It’s better than having issues in future.

Source: https://www.naijalovetips.com/7-things-to-agree-on-before-engaging-a-nigerian-lady/

Solomon sense will not kill you.

You mean na only our matter you carry for head. Men nko? Abi them no follow for the matter?
Continue!!!

The ish I have with this write up is the bias in it. Op why must u use the word "Nigerian" to qualify the lady ??
Must we always use every opportunity to attack our naija babes. All those points u listed would fit in for any lady in a relationship irrespective of her race, ethnicity and nationality.
Some guys go call me sissy now and that I am trying to gather likes.. Its far from it. Let's just tell ourselves the objective truth.
Fine, babes get dem issues wey plenty..if we start talk am we no go comot here. Likewise guys also have theirs.
However, no be all the time we go just dey try to stylishly paint them black . Good gals still yapa for town.

Writercruze:
Arguments and disagreements are part of every relationship. It doesn’t matter how much you love your partner; there’s always something to argue or disagree over.

But there are certain things that you must agree on before taking your relationship to the next level. Otherwise, the relationship may not stand the test of time.

Like I always tell people, love is not the most important consideration when choosing a life partner. Some people are madly in love with themselves, but their marriage didn’t last. Do know why? It’s because they fail to agree on some sensitive issues.

So, if you are dating a Nigerian lady, ensure you agree on certain things before taking the relationship seriously. So, in this article, you will learn the things to agree on before engaging a Nigerian lady.

Crucial Things to Agree on Before Engaging A Nigerian Lady

#1. Commitment

If there’s no commitment in a marriage, such union will not stand the test of time. One partner will always feel cheated and this will degenerate to a serious marital crisis.

So, before you decide to engage her, ensure that you guys share the same view on commitment. Every beautiful or successful marriage, you see is a function of both partners’ commitment.

And once you discover that the lady isn’t ready for commitment, please don’t engage her. She can never give you a good home. Trust me; nothing frustrates a man than having a wife who’s not committed to the marriage.

It’s better to break up a five years relationship than marrying someone who will not be loyal to the marriage.

#2. Privacy

This is another area Nigerian couples often have issues in marriage. Ensure you agree on this with your girlfriend before taking the relationship to the next level.

Privacy in this context has to do with access to your cell phones and other personal belongings. If you guys both agree that you want to be open with each other, it’s okay.

This means that your girlfriend has your phone pin or pattern and you have hers too. It also indicates that you can sneak into her phone and check what she is doing and who she’s chatting with. Similarly, she can do the same with you.

If you both agree on this and it has been working for you guys for a while. Then you are in the right direction.

#3. Bestie And Ex

You see these two guys – Bestie and Ex, they have destroyed many homes. About 67% of infidelity in marriages are with Besties and Ex. Yes, it’s that serious.

If you are dating a Nigerian lady, ensure you guys agree on the fact that no male besties or unnecessary contact with Ex. Don’t take the relationship to the next level if you guys haven’t agreed on this.

My friend had a terrible experience with his girlfriend during our NYSC days. His girlfriend was always around a guy who she claimed was her best friend. According to her, the Akwa Ibom boy was like a brother to her, nothing more.

My friend innocently allowed things to go because he wanted to be a gentleman. Guess what happened? He met the so-called bestie in banging his girlfriend. It was a terrible experience, and they ended the relationship.

Imagined my guy didn’t discover this thing on time… What do you think would have happened? The bestie would have still been banging her in my friend’s house.

If you are dating a Nigerian girl who’s fond of contacting her ex all the time, don’t take that relationship seriously. You guys can still be having fun together, but it will be dangerous to marry such lady. Okafor law is dangerous and never allow anybody to manifest it on your woman.

#4. How You Settle Disputes

I have always mentioned that there’s no perfect relationship anywhere. To the best of my knowledge, you only see perfect relationships in Zeeworld, Nollywood, etc.

So, if you are expecting a relationship without disputes or fight, you are living in a fool’s paradise.

It doesn’t matter how many times you fight in a relationship. What matters is how you guys settle your disputes.

If your lady always shuts down and gives you the silent treatment after every argument, try to work on it before engaging her. If you can’t find your way around it, then she is not your soulmate.

How will you feel if your wife is keeping malice with you over a little disagreement? It won’t make sense.

#5. Lifestyle

Lifestyle is another area you must agree on. If your girlfriend is living a lifestyle you don’t like, try to discuss it with her. Don’t allow love to accept what will not work for you. It will never end well for you.

If she goes to clubs and parties, talk to her about it. And if you guys aren’t on the same page about it, don’t take the relationship seriously. You will always have severe issues with her if your lifestyle differs from hers.

#6. The Name Game

This is another important area you should agree on. Do you want her to change her surname to yours? If yes, discuss it with her while dating.

Some ‘Nigerian babes dey form feminism’, they may not want to change their surnames. But if you discuss this from the onset, you will not have issues with it.

#7. Careers

Career is a sensitive area that must be discussed before you take the relationship to the next level.

If both of you are working, is her career going to affect your family? For instance, if you are a banker and your girlfriend whom you want to marry is also a banker, how do you cope? It won’t be easy.

An ambitious career woman wants to make it to the top of her career ladder may not have time for the kids. And if this isn’t something you can take, quietly work out of the relationship. It’s better than having issues in future.

Source: https://www.naijalovetips.com/7-things-to-agree-on-before-engaging-a-nigerian-lady/

Maybe all of us should kuku turn reverend fathers and sisters. Let's end nigeria here and now

[s]

OSUigboFlatHead:

ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT

[/s]

The ish I have with this write up is the bias in it. Op why must u use the word "Nigerian" to qualify the lady ??
Must we always use every opportunity to attack our naija babes. All those points u listed would fit in for any lady in a relationship irrespective of her race, ethnicity and nationality.
Some guys go call me sissy now and that I am trying to gather likes.. Its far from it. Let's just tell ourselves the objective truth.
Fine, babes get dem issues wey plenty..if we start talk am we no go comot here. Likewise guys also have theirs.
However, no be all the time we go just dey paint them black.No be only Nigerians dey nairaland I think( stand to be corrected tho ) Good gals still yapa for town.

Kokaine:
not easy.
Especially if your best female friend happened to be funny and your wife isn't. Men are naturally funny. Women are not. Its hard to meet a funny girl.

bro the unfortunate thing is that guys won't treat your lady the way you've been treating even the ladies close to u or your best friend...

some guys have bad intentions...
I have been a victim of this bestie issue...
my ex... even though I have female friends...never for once take advantage of them but that was not what I got in return.

I have resolve I will never date a lady with a male bestie again...

The same issue I had with my former gal; she's married but she couldn't allow me rest. I even warned her never to call me again.

Don't marry any Nigerian lady or girl that have a male bestie or an ex she still keeps his pictures, its as simple as that. You should be her ex, her bestie and her everything, if not, don't marry her

Ryan03:
I won't wait for that, I will counter you in your own thread if it feels wrong to me

the thread talked about what to agree with a Nigerian lady before going into a relationship with her.if there's anything wrong with the points she listed then you can say your mind.not by asking about things to agree on before dating a Nigerian guy.
I see your point but then you don't have to derail the thread

Fountainofyouth:



Lmao, Pele.

Yes and Pele to you too.. his situation is somewhat like yours... that time when he vehemently told you... but you were not willing to let go.


Pele! must have been a sad experience

Things I can't do for marriage.



I ain't changing my surname and I can't quit my work for any reason.
My allowance, promotion and remuneration should be gone because of marriage?
If any man can't accept me like this he should please fly off a cliff.

Marriage isn't a must.

maynation:
Things I can't do for marriage.


I ain't changing my surname and I can't quit my work for any reason. My allowance, promotion and remuneration should be gone because of marriage? If any man can't accept me like this he should please fly off a cliff.
Marriage isn't a most.

Yeah. Marriage most definitely isn't a most

I'm about to be seriously insulted

OladimejiRufai:



Yeah. Marriage most definitely isn't a most


I'm about to be seriously insulted

Anyone could have made that mistake.

Trust me no one would insult you.

stevups:
Genotype

You make the most sense dear!

maynation:


Anyone could have made that mistake.

Trust me no one would insult you.

You want to be forming calm girl that doesn't fight or reciprocate when attacked or mocked abi? You that you are probably the ' No nonsense' type.


Anyways, I can't believe I can find someone who refuses to follow the foolish western culture and change her surname. That tradition is nothing but sh!t that should be condemned. A woman has her own identity and she should not be attributed to someone from whom she did not emanate in her lineage.

Secondly, I love your second point too. I believe in empowerment of women although it should be defined. It shouldn't be taken to extreme where she now starts claiming superiority or doesn't want to be submissive to husband. I'm a fan of a society where people will hear of a woman and will discuss beyond her sexual appeal and beauty to positive things she has done in life.


lastly, I like your last point. Marriage is indeed not a must provided the person doesn't fvck around like a shameless dog.


Why am I telling you all this when you don't even know me? I don't know. I just feel like giving my opinion.

lastly, pls don't retaliate what I did to you if you find any error. At least, know that I'm quite younger than you so you should act like a mature person

Ryan03:
One sided write up. So guys don't also have the bestie and ex issue? Why does it have to be only the lady who should let go if bestie and ex. It should be same for both sides

I tire o

Nice points.

OladimejiRufai:



You want to be forming calm girl that doesn't fight or reciprocate when attacked or mocked abi? You that you are probably the ' No nonsense' type.

Aren't there time you just don't have strength for argument and rift?
So it isn't forming, it's just my current mood.

OladimejiRufai:


Anyways, I can't believe I can find someone who refuses to follow the foolish western culture and change her surname. That tradition is nothing but sh!t that should be condemned. A woman has her own identity and she should not be attributed to someone from whom she did not emanate in her lineage.

Thanks for sharing same view with me on this.
You sounded more like you tryna impress tho.



Before you type anything,I could be wrong.

OladimejiRufai:


Secondly, I love your second point too. I believe in empowerment of women although it should be defined . It shouldn't be taken to extreme where she now starts claiming superiority or doesn't want to be submissive to husband. I'm a fan of a society where people will hear of a woman and will discuss beyond her sexual appeal and beauty to positive things she has done in life.

Another thanks again but it doesn't need to be defined.
A lady deserves all the good things in this life as much as a guy does.

Having a rod in between someone's laps shouldn't guarantee an avenue to be more superb. Superiority should be earned and shouldn't be ascribed to a particular sex.

If I earn more than my husband and he feels his ego has been battered then he should work out of the door, and if the door is locked he shouldn't hesitate to break down the nearest wall to him.

OladimejiRufai:

Lastly, I like your last point. Marriage is indeed not a must provided the person doesn't fvck around like a shameless dog.

It depends on your definition of the boldened, that I don't have a husband shouldn't stop me from having a horseman.
I just hope you got this.
I just wouldn't know the level it has to get to before you consider it 'shameless'.

OladimejiRufai:



Why am I telling you all this when you don't even know me? I don't know. I just feel like giving my opinion.

I am glad you did , trust me.

OladimejiRufai:


lastly, pls don't retaliate what I did to you if you find any error. At least, [b] know that I'm quite younger than you so you should act like a mature person [b/]

Looks like someone has my birth certificate.

maynation:



Aren't there time you just don't have strength for argument and rift?
So it isn't forming, it's just my current mood.



Thanks for sharing same view with me on this.
You sounded more like you tryna impress tho.



Before you type anything,I could be wrong.




Another thanks again but it doesn't need to be defined.
A lady deserves all the good things in this life as much as a guy does.

Having a rod in between someone's laps shouldn't guarantee an avenue to be more superb. Superiority should be earned and shouldn't be ascribed to a particular sex.

If I earn more than my husband and he feels his ego has been battered then he should work out of the door, and if the door is locked he shouldn't hesitate to break down the nearest wall to him.



It depends on your definition of the boldened, that I don't have a husband shouldn't stop me from having a horseman.
I just hope you got this.
I just wouldn't know the level it has to get to before you consider it 'shameless'.



I am glad you did , trust me.



Looks like someone has my birth certificate.

Are you serious about the horseman thing? Sounds somewhat wild and...


No, if that's you on your DP, you are definitely older than I am. this is a guy here that is not even in the university yet.

I disagreed with ur number 6, if I pay her bride prize, she must answer my surname

Kokaine:
not easy.
Especially if your best female friend happened to be funny and your wife isn't. Men are naturally funny. Women are not. Its hard to meet a funny girl.

Some are.

Abeg oh make una no vex, is it a most that everybody must marry

Well this is good. but some of this are necessary. By picking it. Phone numbers. Unko?

Fountainofyouth:
I have a bestie, a childhood friend, when I get married, the closeness and all will definitely reduce yeah, but I will never forget or do away with him cos I'm married, nah.

Why not just marry him and keep him even closer?, why is he good enough for keeping close but not for marriage??

[quote author=maynation post=83405092]


Aren't there time you just don't have strength for argument and rift?
So it isn't forming, it's just my current mood.



Thanks for sharing same view with me on this.
You sounded more like you tryna impress tho.



Before you type anything,I could be wrong.




Another thanks again but it doesn't need to be defined.
A lady deserves all the good things in this life as much as a guy does.

Having a rod in between someone's laps shouldn't guarantee an avenue to be more superb. Superiority should be earned and shouldn't be ascribed to a particular sex.

If I earn more than my husband and he feels his ego has been battered then he should work out of the door, and if the door is locked he shouldn't hesitate to break down the nearest wall to him.



It depends on your definition of the boldened, that I don't have a husband shouldn't stop me from having a horseman.
I just hope you got this.
I just wouldn't know the level it has to get to before you consider it 'shameless'.



I am glad you did , trust me.



Looks like someone has my birth certificate.





in say.............
6 years time sha let's see if the shoulder is still above the neck.....

Eaglefine:


Solomon sense will not kill you.

You mean na only our matter you carry for head. Men nko? Abi them no follow for the matter?
Continue!!!

Make i ask u, woman dey engage and marry man for 9ja?? Ur answer na y we dey always analys, update ourselves over una childish behaviour.

phylshan:

Like seriously?

Serious bro, I even begged her for the bad things I did to her and she accepted. I think I beefed by confessing how much I love her.

yea, and when it's a guy doing all of this; keeping besties and ex, cheat on him and marry another person while he still thinks you are waiting for him

@Op, you just expressed your fears and insecurities. The relationship is doomed for lack of trust and riddled with too much entitled opinions. Problem starts when you expect your wife to be ruled over. She has a right to make decisions and that's dependent on how you treat her. Its marriage not bondage.

Very rich.
The summary is all about COMPATIBILITY having certain traits and lifestyle compatibility and being in the same page.