QuintessentialW:


Yes, I was told plenty. But fortunately, I heard from both sides. I heard my mum's side... I heard my father's. I always try to be objective and rational in whatever I do. My father had no justification. It didn't all make sense when I was a child... but things became clearer as I grew older.

Funny thing is, my mum never turned us against father. She was always accomodating. She sorely wished he had stayed even if he wouldn't foot the bills. When I first said I wanted to know my village and go find my dad, my mum was alive. She didn't stop me. Mum was everything ideal and sweet. She simply had sore luck with the man she married. But God knows best.

musicwriter:


There's nothing wrong with African traditions. Its white people that have convinced you so...

On the other hand, in Africa, we adopted alien views and practices, and today that's what is suffocating us to death. Today, you're a victim of this alien practices and you don't even know!. We suffer because we have digested poison and its killing us now.

What am I trying to tell you? Its actually our adoption of alien reality and disregard for ours that have put us at the bottom of the chain, not the other way round. Why am I sure? Because all the countries that rejected alien traditions from Europeans developed.

Note that when someone has provided you everything, he has also automatically disallowed you from doing humanly mundane tasks yourself. The end result is dependency, self incapacitation, self defeat, inferiority complex, which have caused you to distrust yourself.

It is in your competition in nature, doing things yourself and in your own way that you actually learn and transform it better than others. The reason we suffer in Africa is because we have adopted an alien perception of reality. Thus, are unable to understand ourselves and the solution to our problems.

I leave you with the below documentary about Europeans coming to Japan 15th century to 19th century. Any African that doesn't learn a thing a two from the below is a fool.

History of the Japanese Empire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x0HAUxAT7Y

QuintessentialW:


Yes, I think about that commandment oftentimes. But in all fairness, I've been really good to him inspite of everything. I've been the peacemaker trying to get my siblings to forgive him.

But for that marriage part, for some reasons, I just don't want to go to the village... nor do I want him walking me down the aisle.

I'll really consider born2breed's advice.


.

QuintessentialW:


Yes, I think about that commandment oftentimes. But in all fairness, I've been really good to him inspite of everything. I've been the peacemaker trying to get my siblings to forgive him.

But for that marriage part, for some reasons, I just don't want to go to the village... nor do I want him walking me down the aisle.

I'll really consider born2breed's advice.


.

Gurumaharaji:
Regina Daniels father doesn't even know she get married.... so ur responsible Uncle dat train u can conveniently act as ur father during d occasion

Ishilove:
Aunty, your father is a sperm donor. He cannot reap where he didn't sow.

As Yondu told Star Lord- "He may be your father, but he sure ain't your daddy"

You don't have to go to the village. You can do your wedding anywhere in the world because states are mere geographical expressions. It is the people that make up the village, not vice versa.

It is good that you didn't abandon your father in his old age, and you have honoured him by seeking him out and making your peace with him as the scriptures commanded, but he is NOT entitled to any kind of special treatment or recognition because he gave up the right the day he turned his back on you and your family and passed his responsibilities to other people. Those other people are the ones who should be honoured on your special day.

Lilbest3:
not in my state, Edo. Gather your beef all you want if you don't do your traditional marriage with your paternal people around you are still single and your children will pay your bride price before you're buried when you die

vickydevoka:
To be honest, how do u want your father to be taking full responsibility without living with u guys. Only in abroad such is easy bcus of court order.
He must have gotten married to sum1 else whom he his taking care of (the wife n children)

merahki:

Thank you!!!

QuintessentialW:


Haba nau. Witches and satan ke!

QuintessentialW:


Well, my uncle's position is not from the selfish angle.

He feels my dad doesn't mean well for us. And he explained that depending on the type of family I'm marrying into, they may want to oppress me in future because given my father's non-existent role in my life, I might as well be an orphan.

His offering to stand in as father is for the sake of solidarity... so the husband and in-laws realise that I have a solid family, too. Because in truth, without my maternal family, I'm as good as an orphan.

yeyeosoronga:


He can always pay their school fees, help them fill jamb form and just be there for his children . Even ordinary phone calls go a long way.
A man should not abandon his children because he is remarried and has started raising another family.

Samsonklin:
I hope my dad dies by the time I start counting billions amen.

QuintessentialW:


Yes, I think about that commandment oftentimes. But in all fairness, I've been really good to him inspite of everything. I've been the peacemaker trying to get my siblings to forgive him.

But for that marriage part, for some reasons, I just don't want to go to the village... nor do I want him walking me down the aisle.

I'll really consider born2breed's advice.


.

fineboynl:
no matter how irresponsible your dad his. whether he take responsibility or responsible for your grow up. you most understand that their is family bloodline and concept to issues like marriage. if you're a religious person you should know that Satan has a right and you can't temper or hold what belong to Satan and expect him not to react.

bride price is not for your father both the eiders in the family. he's only role is agreement and acceptance by collecting and handle to the village elders and your village witches.

without this you are only inviting your village witches and Satan into your marriage. as the road is open for them already so they will come in through your father disagreement or not acknowledgment to it.


its one of the reasons why children from broken homes always encountered broken homes. because the foundation and doors are always open for Satan the devil.

also why many spiritual cautions people will not want to marry from a broken home. it always have the open doors for Satan.


Whoever gave u this notion abt wat u wrote up there has done so much harm to u.. whoever u r, better go and renew ur mind and get ursef free from d shackles of d devil.. I’m trying to figure out the kind of life u r living with this kind of information u have in ur head.. smh

Lilbest3:
stop running mouth about things you know nothing about. The father is a joke, agreed

Acidosis:
Your father's attitude is shaped by his belief systems. It's a common thing for SOME Urhobo men to be irresponsible. That land is by large the only place in Nigeria where old women ride bicycle, farm heavily, and fry garri all day while their men tie wrapper, sit with dry gin and Punch Newspaper! Forgive him, he wasn't exposed enough to discard that belief system.

Not a must to involve him in your life and marriage, but find a way to deliver the bride price to him. His presence isn't necessarily needed to make that happen. As per walking down the aisle, who cares really? Shebi na who wan do white man wedding will care about a British tradition.