RisenPhoenix:


It's only crazy because we men who are supposed to be the rational leaders and movers actually support this irrational behaviour just because we want to have sex. Any woman can be easily moulded; all it takes is a strong willed man who doesn't think with his genitals and doesn't 'fall in love' like a dumb teenager.

emmaodet:


Bro nowadays women are not in tune with reality at all. All they want is good life, big cars, vacations etc. They are not ready to struggle or suffer with a man at all.
Do you know that i earn more than half of 10 million a year yet my wife believ we are struggling, regularly taking me to prophets that we need breakthrough.
Always complaining we are not using latest big car, no vacation etc
Then you start wondering where the modern marriage is heading to.
I may not be living a good life like i wish neither am i living a bad one too.
It is tiring tbh

RisenPhoenix:


Maybe you have been involving her too much in your finances. Bro that is always a mistake, believe me. Just take full control of your resources. Ask your wife how much she needs as housekeeping allowance, open an account for that, give her the atm card, and transfer the exact amount weekly or monthly. Let her learn to live within it. If she finishes it, you all go hungry (better open a credit line at iya Biliki's buka for the first few months until your wife learns to stay on budget). After that, budget your other expenses, then start a specific fund for savings and investment to cater for your old age. Start pinching pennies. Disregard her remonstrations; tell her this is the new you.

Women never think they have had enough. Whatever their husbands spend on them, they always have a friend somewhere whose husband spends more on her and that us they one they will always see. It is not the actual Dubai holiday or new car they enjoy, it is the fact that they are surpassing their fellow female. If you take a woman to Dubai or London, or buy her a N1m gucci bag only on the promise that she will never mention it to any of her female friends, it will be torture to her; she won't enjoy any of it. Such competitors never get tired of spending because they are not spending for the sake of the thing itself, they are spending to show off. Even if your income is a billion yearly, she will just step up and start comparing herself to Mrs Dangote and Mrs Otedola, still thinking that she is not getting enough on that basis.

If you are a married man, you need to understand what drives women and you need to take charge, that is the only way you can have a successful, harmonious home.

emmaodet:


Bro nowadays women are not in tune with reality at all. All they want is good life, big cars, vacations etc. They are not ready to struggle or suffer with a man at all.
Do you know that i earn more than half of 10 million a year yet my wife believ we are struggling, regularly taking me to prophets that we need breakthrough.
Always complaining we are not using latest big car, no vacation etc
Then you start wondering where the modern marriage is heading to.
I may not be living a good life like i wish neither am i living a bad one too.
It is tiring tbh

RisenPhoenix:


It's only crazy because we men who are supposed to be the rational leaders and movers actually support this irrational behaviour just because we want to have sex. Any woman can be easily moulded; all it takes is a strong willed man who doesn't think with his genitals and doesn't 'fall in love' like a dumb teenager.

drmikeadams:




Hahaha Nigerian women and prophets yet they RE very wicked in nature

crackhaus:

This is another reason altogether, but not a modification of my statement.

Even among those who married the person of their dreams, the person whom they always wanted to be with, love in its most raw expression is something that is so rare to find these days .

emmaodet:


Buka believe me, even if everybody marries who they love, a lot of marriages will still have issues or crash today because as grow older, our taste and wants changes.
That man/woman you think you love and want may turn out to be your nightmare when realities of paying bills, flirting etc sets in.
I know of friends who married the person they love(some even virgins) but not finding it easy today.

RisenPhoenix:


Maybe you have been involving her too much in your finances. Bro that is always a mistake, believe me. Just take full control of your resources. Ask your wife how much she needs as housekeeping allowance, open an account for that, give her the atm card, and transfer the exact amount weekly or monthly. Let her learn to live within it. If she finishes it, you all go hungry (better open a credit line at iya Biliki's buka for the first few months until your wife learns to stay on budget). After that, budget your other expenses, then start a specific fund for savings and investment to cater for your old age. Start pinching pennies. Disregard her remonstrations; tell her this is the new you.

Women never think they have had enough. Whatever their husbands spend on them, they always have a friend somewhere whose husband spends more on her and that is the one they will always see. It is not the actual Dubai holiday or new car they enjoy, it is the fact that they are surpassing their fellow female. If you take a woman to Dubai or London, or buy her a N1m gucci bag only on the promise that she will never mention it to any of her female friends, it will be torture to her; she won't enjoy any of it because you have taken away its real purpose. Such competitors never get tired of spending because they are not spending for the sake of the thing itself, they are spending to show off. Even if your income is a billion yearly, she will just step up and start comparing herself to Mrs Dangote and Mrs Otedola, still thinking that she is not getting enough on that basis.

If you are a married man, you need to understand what drives women and you need to take charge, that is the only way you can have a successful, harmonious home.

emmaodet:


Bro nowadays women are not in tune with reality at all. All they want is good life, big cars, vacations etc. They are not ready to struggle or suffer with a man at all.
Do you know that i earn more than half of 10 million a year yet my wife believ we are struggling, regularly taking me to prophets that we need breakthrough.
Always complaining we are not using latest big car, no vacation etc
Then you start wondering where the modern marriage is heading to.
I may not be living a good life like i wish neither am i living a bad one too.
It is tiring tbh

bukatyne:


Sometimes, it is not a function of what you earn rather a function of your expenditure.

Someone earning N1m monthly and has N900k recurring expenses in terms of loans, Healthcare and fees is worse off than someone earning N400k monthly whose recurring expenses is N150k per month.

Also, the daily monotous life of work, chores and responsibilities can be so frustrating that you need a break to re-start again.

If your wife is complaining about a vacation, can you look at local resorts for the weekend? A week? That is not too expensive. You can even save up for a year. N30k per month would give you N360k for a family holiday.

If she now complains that it is Dubai she wants, tell her to be content.

You know your wife, you know what thrills her. Make her happy within your financial means.

As for dragging you to prophets, you really have a choice not to go. Except if there is an issue like delayed promotion, been continuously passed up for opportunities, plotting and counter plotting against your person, noticeable family patterns and trends etc.

Like you rightly said, you don't have it bad and only a few millions in Nigeria can baosf of an annual salary above N5m.

emmaodet:


You are right Buka about Noticeable family pattern of a thing and also about high reoccurrent expenditure which have been planning to bring down.
Thanks for your advice.

bukatyne:


Question is does the person want to be with them?

@bold: very true.

I am amazed when people say love is not enough.

LewsTherin:


Out of curiosity dude, are you married?

RisenPhoenix:

Yes.

SBL28:
A myriad of reasons including but not limited to;
a) infidelity -
b) domestic violence
c) Family interference -
d) finance
f) lack of commitment
g) lack of fear of God
h) Spiritual attack.
I) infertility

For some it's for a reason, others it could be a combination of three or four. In this particular situation, if she fell out of love, I believe it's possible to rekindle the love. But if she never loved him from the start and she's still not in love after 4 years, I'm not sure there is anything the husband can do...

mickeyjo:


Some interesting points there. I think another one is that people change. Things happen in life and they affect people and change them. Who you marry today may be a different person in five years.Or 20 years.

godliman:
1. Bad foundation, ladies don't marry who they love but who is ready.
2. Sexually promiscuous society, nudity, desperation among singles, pornography,
3. Internet chatting and online dating,
4. Worker-holic husbands who have no time for their wives and otherwise
5. Lack of fear of God
6. Love of money
7. Having many sexual partners(Exs) before marriage

LewsTherin:


Good for you.

RisenPhoenix:


Maybe you have been involving her too much in your finances. Bro that is always a mistake, believe me. Just take full control of your resources. Ask your wife how much she needs as housekeeping allowance, open an account for that, give her the atm card, and transfer the exact amount weekly or monthly. Let her learn to live within it. If she finishes it, you all go hungry (better open a credit line at iya Biliki's buka for the first few months until your wife learns to stay on budget). After that, budget your other expenses, then start a specific fund for savings and investment to cater for your old age. Start pinching pennies. Disregard her remonstrations; tell her this is the new you.

Women never think they have had enough. Whatever their husbands spend on them, they always have a friend somewhere whose husband spends more on her and that is the one they will always see. It is not the actual Dubai holiday or new car they enjoy, it is the fact that they are surpassing their fellow female. If you take a woman to Dubai or London, or buy her a N1m gucci bag only on the promise that she will never mention it to any of her female friends, it will be torture to her; she won't enjoy any of it because you have taken away its real purpose. Such competitors never get tired of spending because they are not spending for the sake of the thing itself, they are spending to show off. Even if your income is a billion yearly, she will just step up and start comparing herself to Mrs Dangote and Mrs Otedola, still thinking that she is not getting enough on that basis.

If you are a married man, you need to understand what drives women and you need to take charge, that is the only way you can have a successful, harmonious home.