Ladykiss:
I sincerely appreciate everybody advice and I will try to end it.

To those throwing insult thank you too but am not the source of your bitterness, if someone has snatched your husband before go and face the person not pouring your bitterness on my post.

Shut up, when you bring your trash to the public, expect people to talk to you the way they deem fit. You should accept any comment in good faith, nobody forced you to bring your story here.

You are pathetic for wanting to go back to a man because his wife mocked you. It shows you have little value for yourself and zero morals. You even don't mind being a second wife to get back at the wife. You are amongst the lowest of scum with this type of thinking. Give yourself brain and move on before they send assassins after you.

bethyz:
I will put myself in your shoes. Its not easy . You regret leaving him and you still want him back.you know he is married but losing out after six years hurt not to talk of seeing someone eles enjoying what you should be enjoying.

Its pathetic.

Do you want to be a second wife?

Are you ready to face whatever comes with it?

If your answer is yes go ahead get married and damn the consequences. Have all you want back and be happy.

But if your answer is no then let him go. It will hurt to see six years go down the drain. But let him go. See it as he is not meant for you. If he was he will stick to you and wait. What he is doing behind his wife's back he will do it if you were the one he married.
Let me stop here

Bethyz my mom was my dad first and only wife, i don't have experience of what two wives look like because all my sisters are their husband only wife as well. Seriously am in pain. To me accepting to be a second wife is accepting to share my happiness and joy with another woman which i don't think i can stand.

Sis i can't control the tears daily, even at work i can't concentrate. Everybody are blaming me that why did i take long to think about marriage, a friend at work told me if she happened to be the one she would have settle down with him under a year and get papers to leave Nigeria. She called me a fool for staying long without thinking of the marriage, she said the wife is smarter than me, simply because she knows the man has a 6years relationship and sharply got pregnant for him just to set in, to crown it all, she advice i just let it go and move on if i don't want to be a second wife or marry him and be a second wife. Am lost, everybody should stop blaming me. I have parent to take care for sending me to school before bringing up my own family, this man has children with his first wife reason am not rushing because he's not suffering of children. Why blaming me? Am i wrong to want to work and stable to avoid being a liability in a man house? Don't blame me pls? Please don't blame me, please. My coming here was to relieve myself from pain not to receive insult.

Ladykiss:
Admin pls move to the front

What u are about doing is wrong & u know it
I guess u already made up u mind by spending time with him, u might even be pregnant for him already. Someone that could leave u & marry another woman Does not truly love u as u claimed.

Rubbiish:

What u are about doing is wrong & u know it
I guess u already made up u mind by spending time with him, u might even be pregnant for him already. Someone that could leave u & marry another woman Does not truly love u as u claimed.

Pregnant without having sex with him last month? How is that possible please?

prizlezzlalasky:
In my humble opinion, ma'am you didn't accept his proposal when he was pressuring you for marriage yet you claim to love him deeply. Just wondering why though.

Now to the main issue, pls stay away from that man, He is married for Christ sake. Put your self in his wife's position and imagine how she will feel if she gets to find out.

Love doesnt justify adultery cause that is exactly what you are doing.

Thank u my sister
The op ladykiss is just trying to eat her cake and have it. You made a decision not to rush into marriage by rejecting a man's proposal and u want another woman to pay for your decision by snatching her husband? It will also get to your turn.

Ladykiss:


Don't pour your anger on me if u fall in the line of those desperate ladies that will use pregnancy to tie another lady man just to marry u and give u papers.

Who is desperate to marry? Like u don't know me. I will pick my carrier 1million times before thinking of marriage.

Treat my Bleep up squarely, i laugh on this. Her madness is doing yes madam where my own madness stand. I just dislike fighting on men because they don't worth it. My anger is that woman message to me while am still trying to let go.

Be nice with your advice, if someone has snatched your husband from you before, don't come and pour the anger on me.

So you want to pay her back by getting married as the second wife. My dear don't live a life of revenge and regret your action in the future. He gave you enough time but you resisted someone saw it as an opportunity and she didn't think twice.

I don't know why women love to be in a "complicated relationship", you rather get married to a man based in the uk with 2 previous wives and finally having kids from 3 different women, when we have single men all over Nigeria. His attention will be so divided. Look before you leap.

Ladykiss:


Pregnant without having sex with him last month? How is that possible please?

Then let him be if u are truly not pregnant for him
In life some decisions don't go in our favour, but we shouldn't make another person pay for it. Ending a 6 yrs relationship is not the end of life. Some others have ended 10yrs and are happy today for it. To be honest that man is not a good man, he is deceitful to start with, put yourself in his wife shoes & u can begin to imagine how bad this act he is about to do is. Let go of him and believe me u will find another better man. Please don't ruin another woman's home.

Ladykiss:


Don't pour your anger on me if u fall in the line of those desperate ladies that will use pregnancy to tie another lady man just to marry u and give u papers.

Who is desperate to marry? Like u don't know me. I will pick my carrier 1million times before thinking of marriage.

Treat my Bleep up squarely, i laugh on this. Her madness is doing yes madam where my own madness stand. I just dislike fighting on men because they don't worth it. My anger is that woman message to me while am still trying to let go.

Be nice with your advice, if someone has snatched your husband from you before, don't come and pour the anger on me.

Which one is "carrier" again?

Well, what i can deduce from your write up that anyone else has failed to talk about is that you are just pained and angry because of the message the wife sent to you. Hence, you want to even the score by getting a piece of the man so as to show the woman that you are not the loser she thinks you are. Don't try it, it will likely end in more tears. Do away with the bitterness and find another man. Leaving the score line at 1:0 is not to bad, if you gun for revenge you'll concede more.

Ladykiss:


Bethyz my mom was my dad first and only wife, i don't have experience of what two wives look like because all my sisters are their husband only wife as well. Seriously am in pain. To me accepting to be a second wife is accepting to share my happiness and joy with another woman which i don't think i can stand.

Sis i can't control the tears daily, even at work i can't concentrate. Everybody are blaming me that why did i take long to think about marriage, a friend at work told me if she happened to be the one she would have settle down with him under a year and get papers to leave Nigeria. She called me a fool for staying long without thinking of the marriage, she said the wife is smarter than me, simply because she knows the man has a 6years relationship and sharply got pregnant for him just to set in, to crown it all, she advice i just let it go and move on if i don't want to be a second wife or marry him and be a second wife. Am lost, everybody should stop blaming me. I have parent to take care for sending me to school before bringing up my own family, this man has children with his first wife reason am not rushing because he's not suffering of children. Why blaming me? Am i wrong to want to work and stable to avoid being a liability in a man house? Don't blame me pls? Please don't blame me, please. My coming here was to relieve myself from pain not to receive insult.

Everyone keep saying you were wrong, are you saying everyone is wrong but you?

You have a family to take care of, can't you start a career over in the UK or don't women in the uk take care of their family? You even have a better environment to pursue a career.

This sounds as an advise to ladies who thinks they are too special or beautiful or too good, my dear there are thousands of ladies like you even better looking for such opportunity. Men are t exempted as well.

Strike when the iron is hot- a friend of mine lost same opportunity, he would have been in Australia with his wife now, but he was acting too slow -he didn't want to look desperate because he was in Nigeria; until another sharp guy man took her away from him.

SeedofDavid:


Please be patient, the elders are on their way.

...which silly elder u put for here

Ladykiss:


Bethyz my mom was my dad first and only wife, i don't have experience of what two wives look like because all my sisters are their husband only wife as well. Seriously am in pain. To me accepting to be a second wife is accepting to share my happiness and joy with another woman which i don't think i can stand.

Sis i can't control the tears daily, even at work i can't concentrate. Everybody are blaming me that why did i take long to think about marriage, a friend at work told me if she happened to be the one she would have settle down with him under a year and get papers to leave Nigeria. She called me a fool for staying long without thinking of the marriage, she said the wife is smarter than me, simply because she knows the man has a 6years relationship and sharply got pregnant for him just to set in, to crown it all, she advice i just let it go and move on if i don't want to be a second wife or marry him and be a second wife. Am lost, everybody should stop blaming me. I have parent to take care for sending me to school before bringing up my own family, this man has children with his first wife reason am not rushing because he's not suffering of children. Why blaming me? Am i wrong to want to work and stable to avoid being a liability in a man house? Don't blame me pls? Please don't blame me, please. My coming here was to relieve myself from pain not to receive insult.

Please take it easy on yourself. He's not meant for you that was why he behaved that way by going after a facebook lover. I'm already feeling for you.

Ximenez:
Which one is "carrier" again?

Well, what i can deduce from your write up that anyone else has failed to talk about is that you are just pained and angry because of the message the wife sent to you. Hence, you want to even the score by getting a piece of the man so as to show the woman that you are not the loser she thinks you are. Don't try it, it will likely end in more tears. Do away with the bitterness and find another man. Leaving the score line at 1:0 is not to bad, if you gun for revenge you'll concede more.

Sorry typo error, career.

Six year relationship....gone just like that. Be honest.... how long more were you going to take to tell him you're ready for marriage? ...don't dodge this question.
I can understand a woman not showing how much she loves a man when she is not sure if the man really loves her... she can get burn. But if she loves the man and knows for sure that the man really loves her.... as in your case... why not at least sit down and make marriage plans? Men usually run away from this kind commitment.... it is in our DNA... but here is a man proposing and proposing and you making shakara. None of your excuses would fly.... even if you got married... none would be that affected.... all your goals could've been achieved.
No doubt... the man is still interested in you...but he is now married. You weren't ready to be the wife..... but here you are .... a proud side chick. .....and to bring yourself even lower.... you are willing to be wife #2. Wife #2 in the UK?...how many wives is one allowed to have there?... or you believe Nigerian laws apply worldwide? You are so pained by a short text msg..... what would happen when you are under the same roof with the senior wife?...your tormentor? What would happen if you become pregnant for her husband?...or she finds out you hosted him?
You have thrown away six years of your youth...of your life because you thought he had no choice but to wait until you are ready.
Shed your tears.... learn from your mistake.... there is nothing you can do to turn back the hands of time...let him go....he is now married. Love takes time to heal....gather yourself together.... throw yourself into your studies or whatever and not be bugged by the breakup or you would spiral into depression.... that's when your world would really come crashing down and your mental health would be at risk. Cut all ties..... change phone number... SM contacts etc..... move on.

Rubbiish:

Thank u my sister
The op ladykiss is just trying to eat her cake and have it. You made a decision not to rush into marriage by rejecting a man's proposal and u want another woman to pay for your decision by snatching her husband? It will also get to your turn.

yea, she z emotionally unstable and might be unable to take the right decision now hence we need to guide her.
Life happens but there z no Justification for them to be frolicking.

Ladykiss:


Am regretting that too. My pain was that lady sending me message by mocking me. Sincerely i don't mind being the second wife if that is what she want since she refused to have sense. But i hope am doing the right thing?

To be honest i still love the man deep down me

U r not doing d right tin... Don't worry, this life na karma... Another lady will serve ur husband hot sex to when u are at home breast feeding his baby....

He will tell u he is in a meeting but don't fight him that time.. U did dt with sumone husband tooo

Ladykiss:


Honestly i want to end it too but am heart broken and confused. I just need someone to give me hope, am hurt

We shud give u hope for committing adultery with a married man... What kind of society are we sef?

So u came to nairaland so as to be justify for sleeping with a married man truout d month of November...


Karma will visit you.. So simple

DenreleDave:


U r not doing d right tin... Don't worry, this life na karma... Another lady will serve ur husband hot sex to when u are at home breast feeding his baby....

He will tell u he is in a meeting but don't fight him that time.. U did dt with sumone husband tooo

Saying someone husband was why I can't control the tears, someone husband? Someone husband? God why me?

Did i even told u i checked his Facebook messager last month when he came home to see how he started the relationship with the so called wife? This so called wife was the first person to sent him a message via Facebook claiming Facebook brought him as friend suggestion, from there they became Facebook friends. Early last year this lady chat him up that she can see he's in Nigeira they should meet and the man told him he has a girlfriend he truly love and ready to settle down with but this so called wife replied with 'I can just be your friend'.

Who ruined each other between me and the so called wife? I know those advising me quit sincerely want my happiness not that they don't feel my pain but please stop telling me i snatched another woman husband. The so called wife still have guilt to send me a message mocking me after turning my life upside down. I leave everything to God but as far as am concerned this their marriage is not ordinary eyes. The man kept begging and begging not to leave him but am scared. Last month after reading their messages on Facebook and i woke him up and asked if i deserved this from him after 6years of being honest and loyal to him, all he did as replied was crying. Sincerely am scattered than you all know but i will take a break

DenreleDave:


We shud give u hope for committing adultery with a married man... What kind of society are we sef?

So u came to nairaland so as to be justify for sleeping with a married man truout d month of November...


Karma will visit you.. So simple

Everything about my life is not sex, mind u throughout my stay with him last month no sex. Stop judging me badly please

Once again i appreciate everybody advice, i will make use of it. Thanks all

Ladykiss:
Good afternoon nairaland fam, i need an advice on my relationship.

I met this man 6yrs back and we started dating, he has divorced with his wife like 7yrs back in UK before i met him and he based in UK. Now to the main gist. To be straight forward i love this man deeply but i refused to show it to him based on my past relationship experience. He kept disturbing me to settle down with him but i told him to give me some time because i don't want to be a liability on him.

Fast forward to last year this man got married to another lady he just met not up to a 6months, it really break my heart but what will i do? I had no option than to congratulate him and wish him well. I decided to move on. His wife gave birth this year, i wonder if he got married to her probably because she got pregnant for him or something, well i won't go deep into that.

All of a sudden the new wife sent me a message mocking me, calling me an ex. This a woman i don't know physical, this a girl that just appear from no where and got married to him, yet i sincerely wished them well. So why mocking me by calling me ex is what i don't understand? I wonder if this woman know how hurt i felt when she sent me that message. To be sincere with you, i parked on the road side and cried my eyes out, 6yrs of relationship gone just like that.

To the husband part he still want us dating but i refused, not that i don't love him but I felt disappointed in him. This was the man that showed me genuine love for the first time in my life, not by money because i don't request money from him, i have my own money. But you know when we talk about true love, am deeply in love with him, and am regretting not saying yes when he was disturbing me to settle down with him.

Note this man has taken the lady and the new born baby to UK since they married legally but he kept disturbing me to be his second wife and promised to do British paper for kids i will have for him. My replied to him was if i was actually dating you because i want to be a British citizen i would have settle down with u for long and become a UK citizen before u met that lady u married. I only told u to wait let me hustle for myself and not be a liability on you but u went ahead to marry another lady.

This man refused to let me go but to be honest i still love him too, he came to Nigeria last month (Nov) and we are together all through. My nairaland family, please am i doing the right thing?

Please put yourself in my shoe before judging me, 6yrs relationship just like that is not easy. Am confused.

why she sent you that text is because you are the cause of the man not loving the wife enough. She knows you and she knows that if she doesnt move quick her husband would leave her for you.

Ladykiss:


Everything about my life is not sex, mind u throughout my stay with him last month no sex. Stop judging me badly please

Sorry for judging u earlier but Pls, leave that man... God will do the best for u. U made a mistake but God will do d best for u..
Stop being with him, if his wife gets to know, u will only provoke her more... Lola omo iya mi, plssssss

Ladykiss:


Bethyz my mom was my dad first and only wife, i don't have experience of what two wives look like because all my sisters are their husband only wife as well. Seriously am in pain. To me accepting to be a second wife is accepting to share my happiness and joy with another woman which i don't think i can stand.

Sis i can't control the tears daily, even at work i can't concentrate. Everybody are blaming me that why did i take long to think about marriage, a friend at work told me if she happened to be the one she would have settle down with him under a year and get papers to leave Nigeria. She called me a fool for staying long without thinking of the marriage, she said the wife is smarter than me, simply because she knows the man has a 6years relationship and sharply got pregnant for him just to set in, to crown it all, she advice i just let it go and move on if i don't want to be a second wife or marry him and be a second wife. Am lost, everybody should stop blaming me. I have parent to take care for sending me to school before bringing up my own family, this man has children with his first wife reason am not rushing because he's not suffering of children. Why blaming me? Am i wrong to want to work and stable to avoid being a liability in a man house? Don't blame me pls? Please don't blame me, please. My coming here was to relieve myself from pain not to receive insult.

I am a bit confused here. Is this man the only man in Nigeria? I don't understand. Are you ready to throw your life away because of a text message? Are you not supposed to be an ex like she stated? How is what she said an insult? And to show you what a cheat and liar he is, he has told his wife he has broken up with you, that is why she called you an ex, not knowing you guys spent a month together. Just imagine all the lies he is feeding you too. Guy man doesn't want to be jumping from Anne to Bose when he visits Nigeria, so he wants to tie your destiny down to accommodate his needs when he is in town.

jesmond3945:
why she sent you that text is because you are the cause of the man not loving the wife enough. She knows you and she knows that if she doesnt move quick her husband would leave her for you.

It is well

DenreleDave:



Sorry for judging u earlier but Pls, leave that man... God will do the best for u. U made a mistake but God will do d best for u..
Stop being with him, if his wife gets to know, u will only provoke her more... Lola omo iya mi, plssssss

No problem dear

Ladykiss:


Don't pour your anger on me if u fall in the line of those desperate ladies that will use pregnancy to tie another lady man just to marry u and give u papers.

Who is desperate to marry? Like u don't know me. I will pick my carrier 1million times before thinking of marriage.

Treat my Bleep up squarely, i laugh on this. Her madness is doing yes madam where my own madness stand. I just dislike fighting on men because they don't worth it. My anger is that woman message to me while am still trying to let go.

Be nice with your advice, if someone has snatched your husband from you before, don't come and pour the anger on me.

The sense I'm getting from this is that you are trying to get back at the wife of your ex for mocking you by hooking up with him.

You'll end up complicating your life. Just get pregnant first then you will know the meaning of what you are doing.

Have some self respect sis. Accept that you have lost him and move on. You're trying to salvage a ship wreck. You will end up wrecking your life.

My 2 cents though.

Op I read all those from page one n I really felt so sorry bcus I cud feel your pain n what you going tru or must have passed tru*

I’m so sorry;

I’m sincerely sorry... wud have suggested you delete the thread but you can as well leave it cause it might teach someone a lesson in the future or help someone right now*

Ts never a sin you trying to be fin stable and get well shaped for yourself n family; but you only seem to be selfish and not helping the guy in any mean... it’s not your fault, there re lot of girls in the same shoes... they do forget while pursuing living you also take along your life bcus it matters most. I’ll be this and dt before I go down the aisle well always know it’s at your cost...

I wish you cud turn back the hands of time* normally or tru other mean, he’s married to the new woman and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it...

Just let go; get closer to God; n hop your man comes at the real time you ever expected or hoping to... n I know you’ve learnt alrdy, you wudnt waste much time as much as you re convinced he’s your man...

Peace

dennel:
Op I read all those from page one n I really felt so sorry bcus I cud feel your pain n what you going tru or must have passed tru*

I’m so sorry;

I’m sincerely sorry... wud have suggested you delete the thread but you can as well leave it cause it might teach someone a lesson in the future or help someone right now*

Ts never a sin you trying to be fin stable and get well shaped for yourself n family; but you only seem to be selfish and not helping the guy in any mean... it’s not your fault, there re lot of girls in the same shoes... they do forget while pursuing living you also take along your life bcus it matters most. I’ll be this and dt before I go down the aisle well always know it’s at your cost...

I wish you cud turn back the hands of time* normally or tru other mean, he’s married to the new woman and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it...

Just let go; get closer to God; n hop your man comes at the real time you ever expected or hoping to... n I know you’ve learnt alrdy, you wudnt waste much time as much as you re convinced he’s your man...

Peace

God bless you dennel, thank you so much.

egopersonified:



I am a bit confused here. Is this man the only man in Nigeria? I don't understand. Are you ready to throw your life away because of a text message? Are you not supposed to be an ex like she stated? How is what she said an insult? And to show you what a cheat and liar he is, he has told his wife he has broken up with you, that is why she called you an ex, not knowing you guys spent a month together. Just imagine all the lies he is feeding you too. Guy man doesn't want to be jumping from Anne to Bose when he visits Nigeria, so he wants to tie your destiny down to accommodate his needs when he is in town.

Am not going to support the man because he caused all these by sleeping with her while still dating me but the truth of the whole incident was that wife was a desperate lady. I checked the man Facebook messenger conversation with this so called wife from A to Z when he came to Nigeria last month, she forced her self on him even while the man told her about me and she told the man she will just be a friend only to tie him down with pregnancy and still have the gut to send me message. Well what has happened has happened, i caused it all and have to bear the pain alone. I pray God lead me out of this.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I feel your pain, I know ladies that have being in this kind scenario, ladykiss... just frget the man and his family and move ahead with your life. Your own man will surely come IJN. And those ones bashing, just leave them since they are not in your shoes they probably don't know what you are going through, they just want to use you to chase clout.

You wanted to be successful before you married him right? Have you made it now,that you are thinking of becoming the second wife...?

Ladykiss:


Am not going to support the man because he caused all these by sleeping with her while still dating me but the truth of the whole incident was that wife was a desperate lady. I checked the man Facebook messenger conversation with this so called wife from A to Z when he came to Nigeria last month, she forced her self on him even while the man told her about me and she told the man she will just be a friend only to tie him down with pregnancy and still have the gut to send me message. Well what has happened has happened, i caused it all and have to bear the pain alone. I pray God lead me out of this.

The girl is not the problem, the man is. She didn't rape him to get pregnant and she didn't hold a gun to his head to pay her bride price. HE made those choices. Stop hating her and focus on yourself, there are better men out there. Please just forgive her and let go, not for her sake, but for your own peace of mind. I know it's not easy to let go of someone you love no matter what they have done, but are you ready to keep fighting over him with his wife and other women for the rest of your life?

Ladykiss:
Good afternoon nairaland fam, i need an advice on my relationship.

I met this man 6yrs back and we started dating, he has divorced with his wife like 7yrs back in UK before i met him and he based in UK. Now to the main gist. To be straight forward i love this man deeply but i refused to show it to him based on my past relationship experience. He kept disturbing me to settle down with him but i told him to give me some time because i don't want to be a liability on him.

Fast forward to last year this man got married to another lady he just met not up to a 6months, it really break my heart but what will i do? I had no option than to congratulate him and wish him well. I decided to move on. His wife gave birth this year, i wonder if he got married to her probably because she got pregnant for him or something, well i won't go deep into that.

All of a sudden the new wife sent me a message mocking me, calling me an ex. This a woman i don't know physical, this a girl that just appear from no where and got married to him, yet i sincerely wished them well. So why mocking me by calling me ex is what i don't understand? I wonder if this woman know how hurt i felt when she sent me that message. To be sincere with you, i parked on the road side and cried my eyes out, 6yrs of relationship gone just like that.

To the husband part he still want us dating but i refused, not that i don't love him but I felt disappointed in him. This was the man that showed me genuine love for the first time in my life, not by money because i don't request money from him, i have my own money. But you know when we talk about true love, am deeply in love with him, and am regretting not saying yes when he was disturbing me to settle down with him.

Note this man has taken the lady and the new born baby to UK since they married legally but he kept disturbing me to be his second wife and promised to do British paper for kids i will have for him. My replied to him was if i was actually dating you because i want to be a British citizen i would have settle down with u for long and become a UK citizen before u met that lady u married. I only told u to wait let me hustle for myself and not be a liability on you but u went ahead to marry another lady.

This man refused to let me go but to be honest i still love him too, he came to Nigeria last month (Nov) and we are together all through. My nairaland family, please am i doing the right thing?

Please put yourself in my shoe before judging me, 6yrs relationship just like that is not easy. Am confused.

But why are women like this eh?
Today I sat down somewhere and noticed the way girls, ladies were going for Hangouts. They believe that they are enjoying the best of their lives and all that, that's how it continues till old age sets in then it dawns on them next thing you would hear is devil and all that. When men or a true man they know comes they prefer to rock life, Take him unserious but keeps grooving.
Sister, Please leave the man and his family alone to enjoy their marriage.
If you are the wife and you get to know about it how would you feel and react?
Remember that he kept coming before so you wouldn't blame him in any way.