Fountainofyouth:



I have noticed one trend with so called males here, they usually type @emboldened when it is a female stating her issues, but when it's a male, their functioning brain goes on hibernation, SMH!!

If you want to hear the other side of the story, kindly get in touch with the horseband, and bring him here to say his version, in the meantime, this is all we have, if you are not satisfied with her version, don't even try to comment, and the next time you see a female thread stating her sad family issues, kindly jump and pass.

You sound rude and bitter,relax

Ayotemide:
I know a man that tried this, the truth always wins and it did in this case.

worry not, your children that are nurtured and well cultured would not turn against you because a sorry excuse of a man says so.

Be calm

" the truth always wins " I like this statement. The husband can only do that for a short period of time before their children turn around to the truth. It won't last so madam relax.

Ayotemide:
I know a man that tried this, the truth always wins and it did in this case.

worry not, your children that are nurtured and well cultured would not turn against you because a sorry excuse of a man says so.

Be calm

If the facts are indeed as you put it because we haven't heard from the other side, then please take the above advice. No cause for alarm.

No man utters those word unless you were rude or usually challenge him or decision....I hate sentiments.

tiswell:
You sound rude and bitter,relax

you deh mind that one
.go and read her former post you go know she had. Troubled youth with males.

seangy4konji:
you deh mind that one
.go and read her former post you go know she had. Troubled youth with males.

Raises serious concerns for her future/present life partner.

Both you and your husband deserves some spanking.
Even SS3 students that are dating can't behave like you both

ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

my children to insult me.

Matured advice needed please.

First and foremost those kids belong to you both. so it should be our children not my Children.

Secondly it seems u only started having issues after he failed to call your people when you lost your dad. For whatever reason he did that is best know to him, but whatever the case is, He is inexcusable.

Thirdly it appears you are bitter he did not show any concern when u lost your dad and anybody in your shoe should be but you have to realise that bitterness is like a burden the longer it stays in your heart the wearier you become. Let him understand you were not happy he didn't call you people when you lost your dad.

As for him telling the kids to insult you, that shouldn't be your problem. Kids generally are observant except and onless you give them a reason to insult you they wouldn't sincerely insult you.

the man is just wasting his time, unless he wants to be the woman of the house and do ll house chores and home keeping. it is easier for a woman to poison the heart of the children against their father than for a man to do same against their mother

provided the woman remains a good mother to the kids, she should not be worried, no amount of brainwashing or mind poisoning will work, provided she remains good.

ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.

Challenge him too now! No be only him know how to challenge. But before you challenge him , take 3 bottle of alomo gin and some other gin that can make you high and see if he will not respect you.
Don't forget to thank me later if it work.

hardon1:
the man is just wasting his time, unless he wants to be the woman of the house and do ll house chores and home keeping. it is easier for a woman to poison the heart of the children against their father than for a man to do same against their mother

provided the woman remains a good mother to the kids, she should not be worried, no amount of brainwashing or mind poisoning will work, provided she remains good.

My broda, nobody have the Monopoly of madness. Afterall, a lot of marriage is a ruse.

Avoid marriage and stay peacefully. I have tried it and it works.

i dnt tink u are right is 50/50 some situation is not as u ve said.

Larryfest:
Kids naturally love their mom more than the dad so there's no amount of poisoning he can poison the kids mind that will change their mind against you as long as you remain a good mom and a wife too..

madam just do ur Best ur Kids will always look back and appreciate ur love if it is real.

Fountainofyouth:



I have noticed one trend with so called males here, they usually type @emboldened when it is a female stating her issues, but when it's a male, their functioning brain goes on hibernation, SMH!!

If you want to hear the other side of the story, kindly get in touch with the horseband, and bring him here to say his version, in the meantime, this is all we have, if you are not satisfied with her version, don't even try to comment, and the next time you see a female thread stating her sad family issues, kindly jump and pass.

Exactly same way you all disappear or shut down your sense of reasoning when it's a man stating his plight with his wife.
There's a thread on fp that showed a married woman stuck with another man. Did you drop a comment there?
This life is a pot of beans.

Now you can disappear. Awon feminist. Rubbish

I'm thanking God 4 ya Life ma dear 6ta. Can u do mi a favour, if u can kneel down 4 ya pastor to respect him, ma dear knee down 4 him, beg, romantic him let him feel superior ova u, let him no dt his is in 2nd command aside from God.
Nothing is there, jux to make peace reign in ur life.

raise your children well so that their minds can't be poisoned

ebyjoyken:
I spend more time with the kids than he does. When we got married, he asked me to live in the village with his mum and sister my parents refused and asked him to get an apartment for me in the city. Which he later did. Since then he hated my family for challenging him.

Your parents have no right to meddle into your family issue in as far it is not a life threatening situation, starting your marriage on a wrong note is not good for the family. Your husband obviously have hatred for your parents and that is not good for him and for your family, pray for him and talk with him, abi he doesnot go to Church and have not been listening to messages on forgiveness - only the devil cannot forgive! All the best

Fountainofyouth:
This is exactly what we are saying on a thread that got to front page today, imagine this mistake of a man and father, him and his wife have issues, instead of him to resolve it, he wants to involve the kids and make them antagonise the mum, what has the kids got to do with it? Instead of the ones above to comment fairly, they are looking for his version, no matter what the woman said, what type of man will tell his kids to do such? If reverse was the case and woman told their kids to insult their dad, the comments would have reached page ten by now with all manner of insults on the woman,

The husband doesn't obviously want to be challenged in the decisions that involves the family, he wants a 'yes sir' kind of woman, he wants to subdue her smh, does he expect his decisions to be right all the time? How will they be able to rub minds together on whats best for the family

Madam Op, anytime he says anything, don't challenge, react or talk back, just be looking at him and ignore, let him say his own and do whatever he thinks is right, you too, do whatever you think is right, when he sees the arrangement isn't palatable due to clashes, he will remorsefully call you for a heart to heart talk.

This is misleading, there can never be two driver in the same car. What you are calling for is divorcing. Blessed are the peace maker ......

It is a well known fact that most Nigerian married women are treated like trash in their marriages. The average African man lacks love, compassion and empathy. So, if you choose to marry an African-bred man, you better educate yourself on what you're getting yourself into. My 2 cents.

I know of a close relative who has a man like yours. Such men hardly love deeply, they always find it very difficult to forgive not to talk of to forget. When they notice that you are investing in your children to have a future, they tend to use them against you because they have the means.

My advice, don't leave your children for any reason. Even if they are used against you at one time or the other, getting annoyed or revenge won't solve the problem but always be good, strong and forgive for family sake.

ebyjoyken:
Hi! Good morning all.

I have been married for 10 years, and I have never had any serious issues with my husband, I have never treated his mother badly. I love his mum just like i love mine. I lost my dad last year and my husband never showed any concern towards my family, i didn't call any of my siblings or my mum till date.

But recently each time we are having a discussion he keeps saying that anytime I challenge him that he will ask my children to insult me. This breaks my heart because i was never rude to my parents as child even as an adult. I have never spoken ill of my husband before my kids, so i don't understand why he keeps saying that to me. My children mean alot to me, i have invested so much in my kids and they are lovely children. I am scared that he might start poisoning their minds towards me.

Matured advice needed please.

@bold,
This may not be how your husband sees it. Some ladies think that they are living the perfect marriage meanwhile they have browbeaten their husbands into living life under thier (ladies) terms. The man may be secretly frustrated but he won't talk until it all boils over into utterances like this. If you have never had any issues with him etc etc then why was he not sympathetic to your father's death. Something isnt right and hasn't been right for a long time.

I'm not saying it's your fault. It depends on the kind of man you married esp if he's the quiet kind. Have a private chat with him and ask him where you have offended him in the marriage. He will say nothing but persist until he tells you his mind. You will be VERY surprised.

crackhaus:

This one is not something anyone here can help you with. If you don't know why your husband does not like your family after 10yrs, to the extent he did not call to share his condolences when his own father-in-law died, then OYO for you. It's obvious that whatever is between them is very serious yet you're claiming no knowledge of it.
You have definitely been perfectly okay with the bad-blood for that long, because according to you, there has never been any serious issue between both of you - meaning you never saw this as an issue or brought it up as one.


As for trying to turn your kids against you, like I noted before, this is not good but you still haven't shared the disagreements that lead to this or how it is you challenge him.

Who spends more time with the children and who are they closer to?
You or your husband?

Exactly.

ebyjoyken:
Thank you ma. I have been loyal and respectful to him. He has been abusing me emotionally but i refused to break. But he found my weekness and that's my children. Every little thing he will threaten me that he will take my kids away from me. I have been good with his siblings and mum. If he sees my children around me, he gets angry and ask them to leave my side. It is beginning to really bother me. If he does something wrong and i correct him or tell him to treat people with love, he becomes very angry and starts threatening me with my kids . Telling me that i will soon run mad. So many things but i can't bear my heart on a public forum.

So you left a lot of things unsaid in your initial story. How do you expect a mature unbiased response?

Anyway, let me finish reading.

I presume d picture u tried to paint is incomplete..



So I don't know how I will advice you..

Graxie:
please ignore that guy, do yourself a favor and do that. He has a female partner here, all they do is ridicule women and make light of their pain. You just ignore them.

I think I know the "woman". Though that person is either brainwashed, a slave in her marriage or actually a man. She and the crack addict and the man with his red pills are from the same camp. They excuse anything wrong and try to hear the other side, then turn it on the victim while claiming to be digging for info. When all info is tabled, it will somehow be there victims fault.

2chukwu:
Bia my friend will you sharraap there have you ever maintain 15days relationship?? How do you know she's rude? Ngbo ngbo ngbo piafukwa gi isi now repeat after me if I say u, u say I
You are nothing but murutun mpavu repeat that 3x per day!!

this is the sort of things you start when you serve 2 gods

vickydankal:


I believe you. I think the husband is not honoured adequately. It is like a tank. Not just respect but honour. Make him your king. In my village the best way to control a man (Husband) is to allow him to be the man, honour him, respect, and submit to him totally. Then he will unconsciously hand over the kingdom to you. Check between Vasti and Queen Esther in the bible. Honour was what dethroned one and enthroned the other. Have ever heard 'His wife is controlling him' this is one of the keys to do that.

You are the only person with sense in this thread
thank you

Some men are just terrible! I know a man like that, he talks to the wife anyhow. They can't even gist in the house normally because he curses her at the slightest provocation. She can't even ask a simple question without being insulted. So the woman keeps quiet, she serves his meals and does what she's supposed to do in the house and that is where their interaction ends.

The man is just like the poster, some weeks ago, he told his 5 year old daughter that " can't you see that your mother is sick?". Can you imagine the nonsense? He has graduated from insulting and cursing his wife Infront of the kids, now he's involving them.

Poster, just keep being a good mother to your kids and keep praying for them.

I wonder Who raised these men to behave like animals...

tchidi066:
Seriously all these constant marital issues on nl is getting me scared, i'm beginning to think twice about marriage...Maybe i should remain single n raise kids as a single mom or wat... but last last my people no go gree being the only daughter... Chai

You dont need to be scared, I can treat you like a queen if you will give me the chance