From what he wrote, the issue is fixable, they can work things out. A new lady may come with a new baggage, if he can fix his present relationship, better.

DaddyMorenike:
don't be surprised. See! Pple can't be talking to me about a particular issue and I keep on doing it instead of working on myself.. Last last everybody wants peace in their lives. There's a limit to everything!!!!!

Bro don't allow that proud and selfish girl to ruin your happiness.
Find another humble girl ASAP.

Just like a comment reads "The best solution now is for you to start being a bad boy. Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
She will surely realise that you are not a coward"

And my guy, start placing your opinion on the table with hers and if she doesn't agree then just know marriage is a No no

grossintel:
I have something paining me so much, and for this reason, I'm seriously reconsidering settling down. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and even though we plan to get married soon I always see reasons to hold on. Marriage is not something you really rush into, honestly, it might look good on the outside but inside it's something else.

She used to be a student and come visiting once in a while but now she's done with school and has been around for a month. This is the longest time we've ever seen since we started dating and now I'm getting the vibe of what it feels like living with a woman. In fact it's better she's away and we see like we used to.
There are so many things I can't do anymore, simply because she's here. I can't play my ps4 in the sitting room anymore, as soon as I have the time and decide to, she's already there watching Telemundo or some other channel I can't relate to. When you tell her to switch to something we both have interest in she'll nag about how I don't want her to have a good time. When I insist I want to play games or watch something else she'll just leave the sitting room and enter the room and lock herself.

I had a talk with her, and she suggested I move the ps4 to the guest room, I have a 32 inch TV there, and a 60 inch 4k UHD in the well-furnished sitting room. I just looked at her as she said this while sipping Fresh Yogo with a wide smile. How can I live like a church rat inside my house? I can't keep something and it will still be there when I return. I can't eat what I want, it has to be what she wants or she'll cook it anyhow and give me.

She said we need 30k for feeding, no problem as long as we eat well. But when she go market and come back, I was looking for money one day and asked her if she had, she asked me to check her purse and I saw 1k everywhere. When I asked her she said it's her savings.

I'm here because these whole thing is paining me, if it's like this, then imagine how it will be when married forever. I spoke to a friend about it, and he said I'm too soft on her, that if I tell her something and she refuses then I should hit her. That's a no-no for me, I can't do that instead I ask her to leave. Please married people, how do you deal with women? It's driving me completely nuts.

Na damaged goods she be.

She'll always demand your full attention because of her apparent selfish behavior. You can put up with her for the short term but if you intend to keep her long term, it would be a mistake.

grossintel:
I have something paining me so much, and for this reason, I'm seriously reconsidering settling down. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and even though we plan to get married soon I always see reasons to hold on. Marriage is not something you really rush into, honestly, it might look good on the outside but inside it's something else.

She used to be a student and come visiting once in a while but now she's done with school and has been around for a month. This is the longest time we've ever seen since we started dating and now I'm getting the vibe of what it feels like living with a woman. In fact it's better she's away and we see like we used to.
There are so many things I can't do anymore, simply because she's here. I can't play my ps4 in the sitting room anymore, as soon as I have the time and decide to, she's already there watching Telemundo or some other channel I can't relate to. When you tell her to switch to something we both have interest in she'll nag about how I don't want her to have a good time. When I insist I want to play games or watch something else she'll just leave the sitting room and enter the room and lock herself.

I had a talk with her, and she suggested I move the ps4 to the guest room, I have a 32 inch TV there, and a 60 inch 4k UHD in the well-furnished sitting room. I just looked at her as she said this while sipping Fresh Yogo with a wide smile. How can I live like a church rat inside my house? I can't keep something and it will still be there when I return. I can't eat what I want, it has to be what she wants or she'll cook it anyhow and give me.

She said we need 30k for feeding, no problem as long as we eat well. But when she go market and come back, I was looking for money one day and asked her if she had, she asked me to check her purse and I saw 1k everywhere. When I asked her she said it's her savings.

I'm here because these whole thing is paining me, if it's like this, then imagine how it will be when married forever. I spoke to a friend about it, and he said I'm too soft on her, that if I tell her something and she refuses then I should hit her. That's a no-no for me, I can't do that instead I ask her to leave. Please married people, how do you deal with women? It's driving me completely nuts.

See you....you never see anything. When you start having children, you ll start watching cartoon network etc

Try to be a man

grossintel:
Now I feel the pain my dad went through, my mom and us retired the poor man to his room alone by himself. I just need to hear from married men here and it's obvious this is the future. I don't think I'm ready to sacrifice that pleasure, not for anyone. It's not a pleasant feeling, I really need to think this through.

Guy thank God you said you felt what your dad went through if you must be a real man you get to make sacrifices she also have places to go but she is sitting down with you at home.you can earn money alone you can spend it alone.two people can be the same even twins learns to tolerate her excesses and reckless

My brother married is not a thing of happiness , u have to endure ur wife, b happy that dis ur girlfriend is not someone that pretend , some girls will pretend to b good , imidiately u marry her and she give birth to 2 children u will run out of that house , a friend of mine once told me that women as different stage , wen she is pregnate , another behaviour will come in , wen she give birth another behaviour will come in , in the aspect of d money u gave to her , i think she is the best woman i have ever seen , assuming she is a bad woman , wen u ask her for money she will tell u dat she don't have even wen she is carring central bank of nigeria in her waist , but she told u to take 1k from her purse , please hold that woman thight b4 u loose her and regret ur action later .

ericlove4all:
All women are like that. As a man you will have to sacrifice alot. When you start having children it will be worse. Imagine when you are about watching champions league final live and your little daughter insists on watching 'Hey Dudgee' on Ceebies in the sitting room!!!

You have to start loving to live like that. That's what it takes to be a responsible father and husband.

is it truly worth it with a girlfriend?

shortgun:
Welcome to the world
That's how almost all the women are, like someone pointed out if u want to have a happy home, u have to sacrifice alot....I mean alot.
Don't think she will change no matter what u do.
Thank God u already know how it feels to live with a woman...it's left for you now to know if you have the patience and endurance to tolerate whatever she throws at you.
Don't think it will stop on the ones you are seeing now.
Time will come when she will not even cook for you, lay you or talk to you with respect.
Time will come when the only purpose you will serve in her life will be to provide money for her well-being, her children and relatives.

men will always be the one to sacrifice, in his own house o, can't she sacrifice?

ucheHapers:
Bros, dont listen to those telling you to manage her. Dont start what you can't tolerate in the future. Women get worse with time. If she's this selfish and entitled imagine what it would be like in the future.
what men desire is peace of mind and if you're not getting it, free her. There are lots of good girls out there.
Dont compromise when it comes to marriage

don't mind dem jare, how long will he keep tolerating her? I'm even happy the guy is not the sissy type

There will b a stage in ur marriage anytime u go outside she will accuse u of going to visit ur girlfriend or anytime u come back from work late she will accuse of sleeping with the staffs in ur office , please just bear in mind dat marrage is different from girlfriend , unless u didn't grow up with ur parent quarrelling because of little thing, assuming u grew up with ur parent u will know what marrage is all about .
a married woman once said she thought men doesn't cry , until she cameback home unanounced and meet her husband crying and begging GOD To provide work for his wife so that she can support the family , the man has never complained to the wife dat he is tired of providing for the family , but he was nursing the pain , please my brother stick to that woman dat u have , because good women her hard to see now adays .

Moderators should please take this to literature section.

Nigga is telling a boring story, he even described his TV and laid emphasis on what's got nothing to do with his stories.

This one na attention seeker.

bro this looks like a case of stubborn girlfriend una never even marry she don dey claim place for your house(village people) ...you seem like a rich guy which makes matters worst cause as her eyes don see am she no go wan leave you ..i go advise tou to pull out....next time you dey find babe find a girl whos got bags their mentality is on another level

MZrapper:
Moderators should please take this to literature section.

Nigga is telling a boring story, he even described his TV and laid emphasis on what's got nothing to do with his stories.

This one na attention seeker.

flex what you have .....

Yes, I'm married and most of the attitudes I dislike are still there. Infact we've had big fights cos of them. I married her cos at the end of the day, her good side OVERCOMPENSATE for the bad. She completes and compliments me in ways I cant even imagine and she gives me peace. The question is can you tolerate your girl's bad side? I can live with my wife's own, can you manage your girl's own?
Do her good part exceed the bad part?

grossintel:
That brings me to my question, are you married? If so is she still the girlfriend you used to know?

I was once in your shoes , but I dealed with it with maturity , u need to know dat your woman own the house and any of your property, u need to be playing your PS4 whenever your woman is busy or sleeping but concerning her cooking skill and getting foodstuff , it's your duty to work on it , tell her what u want and how you want it , don't let your woman see you as an ATM machine

LilMissFavvy:
He made a good comment, but he is very wrong to say that all women are like that, not all women are like that.

all women are like that , wen u are in ur period how do u behave ? When u are pregnat how do u behave ? Please ask people around u b4 u answer me

When it comes to marriage, you should understand that the woman owns the house and everything in it, don't even argue with her.
My wife can wake up one morning and decide to move the bed to another corner, or rearrange the sitting room, I won't utter a word, even when I'm not comfortable with it, reason :because it's her territory!
Provided she keeps the house neat, and give me a small place to sleep.

I know this woman has good sides, if it's bigger than her bad sides, then tolerate her.

I chose mine because of her financial management
Her ability to dialogue instead of nagg each time there is an issue
She knows how to manage my anger issues (though I'm working on it personally)
She's a keeper etc
And the bad sides like giving flimsy excuses for something that is inexcusable etc
To live with a woman is not easy, sometimes she will treat you like a king, and when you're gragra too much, she will seat your ass down like a kid and caution you
Women are wonderful creatures

LilMissFavvy:
He made a good comment, but he is very wrong to say that all women are like that, not all women are like that.

Then maybe the once that are not like that are pretending. I say this because I know she's 100% real at this point, she's past that pretending stage. She doesn't know we're not yet married and her real attitude scares me, I'm not thinking of breaking up with her, I'm just trying to understand if I'm alone or is this something I have to live with when we're married. From most comment here, this is just the beginning and it's only going to get worse.

MZrapper:
Moderators should please take this to literature section.

Nigga is telling a boring story, he even described his TV and laid emphasis on what's got nothing to do with his stories.

This one na attention seeker.

What's paining you here, I described TV and so? Wait till you have a place you call home, and the same person you love starts spreading her territory and push you inside the toilet as your private space.

Sorry dear friend, I'll be blunt with you. It is obvious to me that all you two have been doing while she was just visiting was having sex. You haven't taken out time to know each other at all. By now, you should have seen her selfishness, hoarding and all these things you are complaining about. She loves herself more than she loves you. The two of you haven't learnt how to compromise for the other person's happiness. You can do this shah, sit her down, discuss what you want, she too should tell you her expectations. If it doesn't work, walk the walk.

MizzPhoney:
Sorry dear friend, I'll be blunt with you. It is obvious to me that all you two have been doing while she was just visiting was having sex. You haven't taken out time to know each other at all. By now, you should have seen her selfishness, hoarding and all these things you are complaining about. She loves herself more than she loves you. The two of you haven't learnt how to compromise for the other person's happiness. You can do this shah, sit her down, discuss what you want, she too should tell you her expectations. If it doesn't work, walk the walk.

bless you my sister

grossintel:
What's paining you here, I described TV and so? Wait till you have a place you call home, and the same person you love starts spreading her territory and push you inside the toilet as your private space.

i wanted to reply her but I chose to ignore her, you should have done same, it's not every mention you reply

ucheHapers:
Yes, I'm married and most of the attitudes I dislike are still there. Infact we've had big fights cos of them. I married her cos at the end of the day, her good side OVERCOMPENSATE for the bad. She completes and compliments me in ways I cant even imagine and she gives me peace. The question is can you tolerate your girl's bad side? I can live with my wife's own, can you manage your girl's own?
Do her good part exceed the bad part?

There are some I can live with and others I just can't. Infact the only way to switch her good mode on is by letting her do the things she wants, the moment you interfere she'll serve you burnt offering for Dinner, or spice it with too much pepper. For example she recently started going crazy for natural hair, I'll come home and see Coconut, Pear, Aloe Vera in the bathroom. She'll do that the whole day in there and when she's done mixing what she's mixing late at night she'll leave the bathroom messed up like that, and when I complain she'll plead I should give her tomorrow morning. I have to pee in the guest bathroom when I wake up at night because I can't use mine. It's almost like she's drawing a big circle and claiming all my space. She's good when she wants to be and something else when you scold her. From the comments here, it's sounds like this is only the beginning.

That your friend telling you to hit her is outta his mind. Bro, be careful how you seek advice from a third party concerning your home because people will tell you to do what they can't even try themselves. The key point you need is communication and patience

grossintel:
I have something paining me so much, and for this reason, I'm seriously reconsidering settling down. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and even though we plan to get married soon I always see reasons to hold on. Marriage is not something you really rush into, honestly, it might look good on the outside but inside it's something else.

She used to be a student and come visiting once in a while but now she's done with school and has been around for a month. This is the longest time we've ever seen since we started dating and now I'm getting the vibe of what it feels like living with a woman. In fact it's better she's away and we see like we used to.
There are so many things I can't do anymore, simply because she's here. I can't play my ps4 in the sitting room anymore, as soon as I have the time and decide to, she's already there watching Telemundo or some other channel I can't relate to. When you tell her to switch to something we both have interest in she'll nag about how I don't want her to have a good time. When I insist I want to play games or watch something else she'll just leave the sitting room and enter the room and lock herself.

I had a talk with her, and she suggested I move the ps4 to the guest room, I have a 32 inch TV there, and a 60 inch 4k UHD in the well-furnished sitting room. I just looked at her as she said this while sipping Fresh Yogo with a wide smile. How can I live like a church rat inside my house? I can't keep something and it will still be there when I return. I can't eat what I want, it has to be what she wants or she'll cook it anyhow and give me.

She said we need 30k for feeding, no problem as long as we eat well. But when she go market and come back, I was looking for money one day and asked her if she had, she asked me to check her purse and I saw 1k everywhere. When I asked her she said it's her savings.

I'm here because these whole thing is paining me, if it's like this, then imagine how it will be when married forever. I spoke to a friend about it, and he said I'm too soft on her, that if I tell her something and she refuses then I should hit her. That's a no-no for me, I can't do that instead I ask her to leave. Please married people, how do you deal with women? It's driving me completely nuts.

You have to compromise bro...you have noyhing to worry about as long as she is not cheating on you.my 2 cents tho.

grossintel:
What's paining you here, I described TV and so? Wait till you have a place you call home, and the same person you love starts spreading her territory and push you inside the toilet as your private space.

What made you think I don't have a better home? And that I'm not a landlady sef??

DrayZee:

Is it that all nairaland girls know how to do is complain? How on earth does your comment relate to the OP's situation.

And how won't you be treated like an object when all you do is consume a man's money. Then there's no difference between you and DStv subscription na, we simply pay to keep you around.

You shouldn't be surprised, lots of them just jump into conclusion like diving into pool. Brain dead

MizzPhoney:
Sorry dear friend, I'll be blunt with you. It is obvious to me that all you two have been doing while she was just visiting was having sex. You haven't taken out time to know each other at all. By now, you should have seen her selfishness, hoarding and all these things you are complaining about. She loves herself more than she loves you. The two of you haven't learnt how to compromise for the other person's happiness. You can do this shah, sit her down, discuss what you want, she too should tell you her expectations. If it doesn't work, walk the walk.

I totally agree, we've not really gotten to know ourselves until now. What I expected her to say when I sat her down was baby okay let's do it like this, you watch your show/games from this time till this time then you let me watch mine. Okay, mention the things you don't like that I do, then I'll mention the things I don't like that you do then we'll trash it out. But she sounds like we can't dialogue over it "don't you know I'm a woman! You shouldn't drag everything with me" those are her exact words. So just because we live together I automatically have no say or freedom like I used to? It's just crazy, and the people saying you have to sacrifice the questions is for how long? Because this seems to be a woman problem. Even if I build my own house and plan for extra space and sitting room it looks like she'll drag that with me too. I like watching YouTube before I go to bed, but she'll drag my phone with me and insist I cuddle her to sleep what's all these now Her good side surely outweighs her bad side and that's why we're still together.

sinaj:
Your friend is mad!

Btw Im sure you didnt express your feelings to her before running to nl. If you didnt, then go back and talk to her.

Her reaction or response will determine your action. Bear it in mind that no relationship is perfect and everyone got their own demon.

If he develops interest in hers then maybe she will develop interest in his.
when kids come its even the worst.