midnighter:

You dont know the two ladies now; if she knew that her friend was going through some relationship palaver she wouldnt have said it.

Somebody who has an open wound and somebody whose skin is intact;

If you press both places equally will still it pain them both equally

There are some friends who enjoy messing with each other and throwing banter because they know the other person understands that they are not speaking out of spite or malice

She would never have said it ...are you in her mind? How do you know, that she didn't know?

People who did not know that the friend was not in a relationship, will now know it, because of that thoughtless bride.

lexy2014:


Yes u should. Even if u can't remember all, u should be able to say most. Are u saying that d only store's on d romance& family section of nairaland are only about how Nigerian men are toxic?

4 someone who has a full brain and who has read so much on d subject matter, am surprised at how jaundiced ur responses are how u are unable in d slightest to say how Nigerian men are toxic.

Am also surprised that though u are an "expert" on d "toxicity" of Nigerian men, u don't have any physical experience with Nigerian men to support your claim

Lmao. Stop trying to sound smart oga. I remain unimpressed. Have you been living under a rock or in a cave?
The majority of threads on the romance and family sections are created by misogynists and are filled with comments from misogynists who refer to all women as trash even though this is not so. The majority of the men there portray themselves as insecure "men-children" whose primary purpose in life is to try and subjugate women and reduce their self esteem and worth. I live in society. I see what happens. How husbands treat their wives. My town back home, I see toxic men. My present location, I see them. Hell, even in my family, they abound. I'm done replying you.

EmptyCoconutHead:
useless women.
If not for bearing of children and sexual gratification to kill konji, there's no other use of women in marriage.

your moniker did depicts the kind of person you are.
In other words you just said your mum has got no use and value in your life aside the fact that she brought you into this world and also as a sexual gratifiaction to your dad. [color=#990000][/color]
PS: Think before you talk.

dangotesmummy:
if she made that statement during her bridal shower then it's ok, people will even understand it as a friendly banter but to make this statement in public? Noo na the same

It's like telling a person who is unemployed and still searching for a job when he came to greet you at your place of work or office party and say "you no go go find work" as if he doesn't know he has done that already

In this life the most dangerous thing is having an enemy so close to e who you think is still your friend.obviously the babe will still be smiling at her but that Will be the end of their friendship and depending on the type of person she is,she might take it offensive

No be everything you suppose say outside.people should stop using their mouths to expose themselves or what they hold dear.

Some people will marry and after wedding, strange strange sickness will start for them .moreso Yorubas say iku pa opolo tonrin, anbeletase eyi ton jorae mole

When you are happy or angry,be mindful of what you say because your words can reach and surpass where your legs can't reach

Imagine the girl gets home and tells the mother jokingly ABOUT how the wedding went and she didn't mean it in a bad light but the mother took offense (knowing how emotional African mothers can be) what if the girl is not offended and the mother of the girl is nko?

People need to think deeply and not let the emotional blues make you say what will implicate your future.this is Africa and this terrain is dangerous and volatile. every environment has its own dangers but here talking anyhow is dangerous

Guy, may the wisdom God Almighty blessed you with, never depart from you.

You said it all....and you said it well. Thank you!

Some thoughtless people will use their stuvpid mouths, to cause problems for themselves, and when karma launches its arrows of retribution at them, they start blaming one imaginary enemy. Shior.....

Ebonygirl1:


Lmao. Stop trying to sound smart oga. I remain unimpressed. Have you been living under a rock or in a cave?
The majority of threads on the romance and family sections are created by misogynists and are filled with comments from misogynists who refer to all women as trash even though this is not so. The majority of the men there portray themselves as insecure "men-children" whose primary purpose in life is to try and subjugate women and reduce their self esteem and worth. I live in society. I see what happens. How husbands treat their wives. My town back home, I see toxic men. My present location, I see them. Hell, even in my family, they abound. I'm done replying you.

Y shouldn't I try to sound smart? How does my sounding smart affect u? Does my sounding smart make u feel that u aren't smart? Address d issues and leave my smartness.

Now if u say that "The majority of the men there portray themselves as insecure "men-children"", that means that there is a minority. So what percentage is majority and what percentage is minority?

U say u see "How husbands treat their wives. My town back home, I see toxic men. My present location, I see them. Hell, even in my family, they abound." U seem to have access to d homes of everyone around u.

How do husbands treat their wives? Is it all husbands in ur present location & ur town back home that u monitor? Where is ur town back home? Where is ur present location? What is it that these men do in ur town back home& in ur present location that makes them toxic?

midnighter:
Why I am somehow defending the lady is because I put myself in the friend's shoes and realised that she may not be as sensitive as I am.

How do we know that after the bride said "Go and get boyfriend", some jovial ladies wont quickly reply "Yeye, na you people go dash me na!" and forget about it? Some people dont read meaning into things like you or I may.

People are comparing it with a woman who is looking for pregnancy but you forget that the comment will only pain you IF you are looking for pregnancy or you are having some kind of problem. I have small small cousins who have randomly asked me why I dont have a baby yet; it does not do me anything because I am not CURRENTLY looking for a baby but another lady may rush and lock herself inside the bathroom and cry for hours just because of that random comment because the stuff is already bothering her.

We dont know these 2 ladies to know if the woman is satisfied with her singlehood or not so fruit of the womb stuff doesnt mean anything here.

Where you have a point is where you noticed that there were so many people around when she said it; I may not be offended by your comment itself but I may feel embarrassed that you said it in front of somebody else . That would be the painful or hurtful part of it

You are right that the type of society we are in dictates some kind of sensitivity when making certain statements in public.

Especially as a woman and as a bride, there are some certain characteristics you are expected to suppress in public so that people wont label you proud or arrogant.

You are right to remind people to be mindful of their utterances DUE TO the fact that people can read meaning into something you didnt say with bad intentions.

People can go home and stew about things for days and hours without you knowing. Like you said, some people apart from that friend may take it personally because of the stigma of being a single lady past a certain age

I just dont agree that the woman is necessarily being malicious or spiteful on purpose

Stop trying to justify that thoughtless bride's insensitive and callous comments.

If she is a true friend of the girl, such a thought would NEVER even cross her mind, talk less of her saying it in jest.

She has successfully done a few things:

1). Exposed her friend to public ridicule,

2). Announced to the world that her friend is not in a relationship, or is having problems getting a boyfriend;

3). Scored cheap points by putting her friend down;

4). Made people think that having a boyfriend is an achievement that should be pursued like a university degree.

That bride is just a mindless, malicious soul. If I was the friend, that friendship ends on that day! No need for long story....

ijewejones:
That's the problem we have with people that's in the school of thought of saying things the way they are(bluntly).

The video is attracting mixed feelings because its out for public consumption. The ladies involved knows their selves very well to know what one can/can't say in public(bluntly).

I can't vouch for any of them because I can't really infer to why such statement was made either by preconceived discussion hence the wedding outburst & as well,the clip is out in public.

On the other hand did you notice somebody released the clip? Why did the person released such emotional clip? Is the person's reason to gather people's opinion or just to castigate? AND THE PERSON IS...(you know)

That's reason I maintain the other part of the business is best inferred & left to the people involved

If the event did not happen, then nobody would release a clip. Now, you have refused to blame the bride that was uttering rubbish, but you are blaming the person who released the clip? Wow!

If she did not utter crap, would anything have been recorded? Misguided nonsense.

Culin:
Take all your seriousness and vex to politics and deliver Nigeria, this isn't the situation for it jare. Obviously you're not the playful type with playful friends. Life is not that serious my dear and not everyone is evil or mean.

It's only on nairaland sef that I'm seeing people commenting negative things, because they're majorly old old people. Even the instablog 9ja that uploaded it on Instagram sef had people commenting positive and lovely things on the post. I'm still wondering what's wrong with "come on don't go and get a boyfriend be there shouting goosepimples on my body." If anything it means that the bride means well for her friends.

By saying "come on don't go and get a boyfriend be there shouting goosepimples on my body.." in such a public place, to someone she calls a friend, the bride has just shown everyone how thoughtless, insensitive and daft she is.

She just wanted to score cheap points using her friend. With friends like the bride, nobody needs enemies.

If the friend had a more serious issue that she had kept hidden, that bride too would have blurted it out in public, under the excuse of cracking a joke. Insensitive.

CeterisXVII:

Stop trying to justify that thoughtless bride's insensitive and callous comments.

If she is a true friend of the girl, such a thought would NEVER even cross her mind, talk less of her saying it in jest.

She has successfully done a few things:

1). Exposed her friend to public ridicule,

2). Announced to the world that her friend is not in a relationship, or is having problems getting a boyfriend;

3). Scored cheap points by putting her friend down;

4). Made people think that having a boyfriend is an achievement that should be pursued like a university degree.

That bride is just a mindless, malicious soul. If I was the friend, that friendship ends on that day! No need for long story....

With this comment, I can tell that you didnt really read through my post.

Nobody is justifying anything my dear

midnighter:
With this comment, I can tell that you didnt really read through my post.

Nobody is justifying anything my dear

I did! You have made different posts trying to say, that the bride said what she did, as a joke. You didn't call her out for her tasteless comments, instead you kept trying to defend her motive, for making such comments.

It was not a joke. It was a comment made, in bad taste.

CeterisXVII:


If the event did not happen, then nobody would release a clip. Now, you have refused to blame the bride that was uttering rubbish, but you are blaming the person who released the clip? Wow!

If she did not utter crap, would anything have been recorded? Misguided nonsense.

You quoted me out of context ooo. Wasn't blaming anybody(whether uttered rubbish or not).

I maintained whatever transpired between them was on preconceived discussion & on mutuality

ijewejones:

You quoted me out of context ooo. Wasn't blaming anybody(whether uttered rubbish or not).

I maintained whatever transpired between them was on preconceived discussion & on mutuality

I did not quote you out of context. My reply was made to your previous post, within the same context.

You raised questions about the person who uploaded the video and made it public.

What is more important? The event that took place and the words that were already said in public, or the fact that a recording of the event was uploaded?

Stop trying to split hairs, please. Just move on.....

lexy2014:
I don't no. Do u know? Is having a bf d solution to goose pimples?

I beg, I no fit laugh again....

CeterisXVII:

I did not quote you out of context. My reply was made to your previous post, within the same context.

You raised questions about the person who uploaded the video and made it public.

What is more important? The event that took place and the words that were already said in public, or the fact that a recording of the event was uploaded?

Stop trying to split hairs, please. Just move one.....

Did u actually read the discussion/comment that lead to that particular post..assuming you did,you will understand you quoted me off context.

I made mention of the person that released the clip as a way of telling that the lady in particular wasn't holding grudges (if she did,it's left to her)

CeterisXVII:

I did! You have made different posts trying to say, that the bride said what she did, as a joke. You didn't call her out for her tasteless comments, instead you kept trying to defend her motive, for making such comments.

It was not a joke. It was a comment made, in bad taste.

You do not know the two people concerned, so you cant tell what her intentions were.

As long as you can call it a "tasteless comment", I can equally call it a "joke" because neither of us have any information apart from the video we watched.

ijewejones:

Did u actually read the discussion/comment that lead to that particular post..assuming you did,you will understand you quoted me off context.

I made mention of the person that released the clip as a way of telling that the lady in particular wasn't holding grudges (if she did,it's left to her)

I did not quote you out of context. The person who released the clip is not the issue. It shouldn't even be the focus of anyone's attention.

The bride who made the thoughtless comments in that video, is the one who should be queried....not the person who uploaded the clip.

Or were you not the one who said that: "Why did the person released such emotional clip? Is the person's reason to gather people's opinion or just to castigate?...."

ijewejones:
That's the problem we have with people that's in the school of thought of saying things the way they are(bluntly).

The video is attracting mixed feelings because its out for public consumption. The ladies involved knows their selves very well to know what one can/can't say in public(bluntly).

I can't vouch for any of them because I can't really infer to why such statement was made either by preconceived discussion hence the wedding outburst & as well,the clip is out in public.

On the other hand did you notice somebody released the clip? Why did the person released such emotional clip? Is the person's reason to gather people's opinion or just to castigate? AND THE PERSON IS...(you know)

That's reason I maintain the other part of the business is best inferred & left to the people involved

midnighter:

You do not know the two people concerned, so you cant tell what her intentions were.

As long as you can call it a "tasteless comment", I can equally call it a "joke" because neither of us have any information apart from the video we watched.

It remains a thoughtless comment, because you should not expose anyone to public ridicule, by making statements about what such a person lacks....openly, at such an event.

She said it clearly to the hearing of others that were present. Free your mind and see the truth.

CeterisXVII:


I did not quote you out of context. The person who released the clip is not the issue. It shouldn't even be the focus of anyone's attention.

The bride who made the thoughtless comments in that video, is the one who should be queried....

Thoughtless to you because its out for public consumption?

Assuming it didn't,will you tell if thoughtless or not?

They are friends & you can't tell the rest for them..you are giving your opinion based on assumptions. I will advise you wait for d flip to be yours then your opinion will be welcomed

CeterisXVII:


Guy, may the wisdom God Almighty blessed you with, never depart from you.

You said it all....and you said it well. Thank you!

Some thoughtless people will use their stuvpid mouths, to cause problems for themselves, and when karma launches its arrows of retribution at them, they start blaming one imaginary enemy. Shior.....

amen

CeterisXVII:

It remains a thoughtless comment, because you should not expose anyone to public ridicule, by making statements about what such a person lacks....in the open, at such an event.

She said it clearly to the heating of others that were present. Free your mind and see the truth.

Yes! it was thoughtless. But is the person hurt Is the person embarrassed? Do they feel bad

It looks tasteless TO YOU, because you choose to see it that way.

It may or may not look tasteless TO THE PERSON IT WAS DIRECTED TO, which you will never know because YOU DONT KNOW HER.

Thats all I was trying to say

ijewejones:
Thoughtless to you because its out for public consumption?

Assuming it didn't,will you tell if thoughtless or not?

They are friends & you can't tell the rest for them..you are giving your opinion based on assumptions. I will advise you wait for d flip to be yours then your opinion will be welcomed

It is thoughtless to me, because someone who calls herself your friend, should not make such comments designed to embarrass you in public. Friends are supposed to have your back in public.

If you can't understand this simple fact, then you need to rethink your understanding of the word friendship.

midnighter:
Yes! it was thoughtless. But is the person hurt

It looks tasteless TO YOU, because you choose to see it that way.

It may or may not look thoughtless TO THE PERSON IT WAS DIRECTED TO, which you will never know because YOU DONT KNOW HER.

Thats all I was trying to say

Are you in the mind of the friend to know she was not hurt? Or to know that her relatives or close pals too, were not hurt? Stop trying to justify the bride's thoughtless comments, please.

Was that the place where she should have advised her friend to go and get a boyfriend? It shows that she already harboured bad sentiments against her friend. Such a thing shouldn't even have crossed her mind, if her friendship was true.

CeterisXVII:


It is thoughtless to me, because someone who calls herself your friend, should not make such comments designed to embarrass you in public. Friends are supposed to have your back in public.

If you can't understand this simple fact, then you need to rethink your understanding of the word friendship.

Did you receive/hear the said friend reply/respond?? Can you tell the friend's mind?

You see why you still the one making out something from the clip.

Hold on for your own friend to say such to you,then you can react or know whether your def about a friend is valid

CeterisXVII:

Are you in the mind of the friend to know she was not hurt? Or to know that her relatives or close pals too, were not hurt? Stop trying to justify the bride's thoughtless comments, please.

Was that the place where she should have advised her friend to go and get a boyfriend? It shows that she already harboured bad sentiments against her friend. Such a thing shouldn't even have crossed her mind, if her friendship was true.

Are you in the mind of the friend to know that she is hurt? Or to know that her relatives and close pals were hurt too?

You should learn to walk in another persons shoes instead of ascribing your emotions to others or refusing to look at another point of view.

That you cannot handle thoughtless comments, yabbings or sarcasm does not mean that other people cant. Not everybody takes things as personally as you or me.

You cant tell people what is supposed to cross their mind unless you were there to ask them what DID cross their mind.

ijewejones:
Did you receive/hear the said friend reply/respond?? Can you tell the friend's mind?

You see why you still the one making out something from the clip.

Hold on for your own friend to say such to you,then you can react or know whether your def about a friend is valid

midnighter:


Are you in the mind of the friend to know that she is hurt? Or to know that her relatives and close pals were hurt too?

You should learn to walk in another persons shoes instead of ascribing your emotions to others or refusing to look at another point of view.

That you cannot handle thoughtless comments, yabbings or sarcasm does not mean that other people cant. Not everybody takes things as personally as you or me.

You cant tell people what is supposed to cross their mind unless you were there to ask them what DID cross their mind.

Both of you can continue to justify the thoughtless, insensitive comments of the mindless bride who did not even think of her friend's image or feelings, to utter words that would expose such a friend to public ridicule.

If those are the kind of friends you like, I feel sorry for you.

Anyone who claims to be your friend, but can diss you openly in such a manner, is not to be trusted with secrets or anything else.

I wish you luck, with your so-called defence of the thoughtless bride.

A true friend will always have your back. Not look for ways to embarrass you openly.

Too funny

A whole lot of y'all don't have data. Just watch the damn video and see the tone in which it was said - It's very clear it was all jokes.

As for the blogger(s), this isn't the right way to go about getting traffic. I would love to teach you�

CeterisXVII:



Both of you can continue to justify the thoughtless, insensitive comments of the mindless bride who did not even think of her friend's image or feelings, to utter words that would expose such a friend to public ridicule.

If those are the kind of friends you like, I feel sorry for you.

Anyone who claims to be your friend, but can diss you openly in such a manner, is not to be trusted with secrets or anything else.

I wish you luck, with your so-called defence of the thoughtless bride.

A true friend will always have your back. Not look for ways to embarrass you openly.

Come here, did you watch the video at all??

Quick question: what song was playing in the background??

Investnownow:


What would you rather see?
Donald trump fights dirty with Nancy Pelosi over impeachment...

Alqaeda chases ipob and boko haram with RPGs...

Take a chill pill.
Life no hard like that.

something much more important.

CeterisXVII:



Both of you can continue to justify the thoughtless, insensitive comments of the mindless bride who did not even think of her friend's image or feelings, to utter words that would expose such a friend to public ridicule.

If those are the kind of friends you like, I feel sorry for you.

Anyone who claims to be your friend, but can diss you openly in such a manner, is not to be trusted with secrets or anything else.

I wish you luck, with your so-called defence of the thoughtless bride.

A true friend will always have your back. Not look for ways to embarrass you openly.

Lol! And good luck forcing your emotions on people you don't know smh!